Can someone explain how Facebook is now some kind of integral part of dating?

Ok look, take a look at my age before responding please.

I tried out Facebook when it first became popular than after a few months I closed out my account because even though I did the usual "reconnect with friends, people you went to school with, etc." and all that other bull****, I could tell even back then that it was going to turn into a damn circus with people thinking that every little thing they posted about in their droll lives mattered.

I am not trying to be "that guy" who doesn't have a Facebook account.

My reason for making this topic is to get some kind of feedback or debate going about it. Time and again I read different threads from newcomers, even some guys who have been around here a while, asking where they went wrong. There is often a point in their story where they state "...and I added her to my Facebook friends list".

Why?

How did Facebook become some kind of integrated piece in mens toolbox to get laid? Dear god if you must do the whole Facebook thing, why not just send a private message back and forth? Why the f*ck is adding some girl to your friends list some kind of ritual now? As if you don't do this you have no chance with this chick? It seems to me that regardless if you have Facebook or not, if a babe's IL is high enough, she isn't going to give a sh!t if you have a Facebook account or not so long as she has some way of seeing you again.

Plenty of men here on this site with good information to offer have stated time and again that if you set up some date via text messaging, close the deal by setting a time/date/location. Confirm, then stop. Don't keep texting, just show up at the place and take it from there. Is becoming Facebook friends going to somehow escalate the way good kino does? The answer is no.

In my opinion, and some of you may look at this as the crotchety old man in me talking, people really need to try and get Facebook out of their lives more and focus instead on more direct, personal contact. Would you tolerate a chick who whips out her phone on a date talking to someone else? Would you tolerate her if she started texting instead? Would you tolerate Facebooking? The annoying morons who have to use their phone to take a picture of EVERY f*cking thing they see?

I don't and have never relied on any sort of electronic media to escalate something; I don't see why Facebook is somehow different.

Love your username.

I deleted Facebook a few days ago; I logged in one day and realized it was all stupid. Does that hurt my chances with women? Maybe. But it's a good screener for idiots, because anyone who would insist on you adding them on FB before going out with them is a grade-A moron.

Would you tolerate a chick who whips out her phone on a date talking to someone else? Would you tolerate her if she started texting instead? Would you tolerate Facebooking? The annoying morons who have to use their phone to take a picture of EVERY f*cking thing they see?

Agreed to all of the above. Most chicks are extremely obnoxious these days with all of the electronics. That's why I've basically lost interest in casual dating and am only into girls who have a 1940s-1960s mindset like me.

I'm still looking.

I deleted my FB over a month ago and I have not missed it. So I am with you "old man". Wanna play some biiiiingo? :crackup:

I think people love it and other social media to the extent they do because people love the "it's all right there in front of me" concept. People love having the most available to them in one location with the least amount of effort on their part. I know many people who sit on FB for hours and truly feel like they are acomplishing something on there. I have never used FB for dating. I think it's too much contact and kills IL.

I notice the losers of society spend the majority of the day on facebook, it's almost as if they know if they log off, hell will start.

Social Status.

This is crucial to ALL HUMANS, whether you think so or not. This also plays a HUGE part in attraction, especially to women.

Facebook is a TOOL that allows "easy" access to "social status' without the risks generally required.

Same kind of base psychology that plays in a tight knit, upper class "community" where everybody secretly tries to outdo everybody else.

Facebook allows all classes to participate in the "social status" game, from the safety of their home.

Since dating is very closely tied to social status, it is, unfortunately a near NECESSARY TOOL if you're after the 20-40 something crowd. (Unless of course, your have exceptional social status and value OUTSIDE of Facebook).

Without Facebook, you are basically competing against ALL THE DUDES that chase her on Facebook.

Of course, real world feelings are generally better than online feelings. But the trouble comes when guys chase her in real life that ALSO chase her on Facebook.

It allows people (who wouldn't otherwise have the opportunity) to feel "fame" and "recognition" and "validation" that they would NEVER get in a non-Facebook world.

Any time you can give people (For FREE) the opportunity to "feel" something they NEVER would have otherwise felt, you've got a pretty good business model.

THAT is why Facebook is worth 200 BILLION DOLLARS.

This is the thing though, girls rarely go for the guys that orbit her on facebook.

Why should she go for a guy she knows will be a white knight for her?

Of course she never goes for FB orbiters. But they provide her with a heightened sense of VALUE. Even homely girls who wouldn't get much action pre-FB can still feel "wanted" by plenty of guys. Which makes them more picky in the REAL WORLD.

Funny thing is her sexual encounter frequency may be the SAME pre and post FB. But in the post FB world, (where "validation" is just a couple of smartphone taps away) she just tells herself there's no "quality men" to match her "high value."

This works both ways. The orbiters themselves don't think they are orbiters. They think they actually have a chance. So they too have an inflated sense of "value" and have trouble finding "quality girls."

Which is why, for so many, leaving social media is near impossible. It basically means getting rid of all your "validation," which feels like a voluntary decrease in your social value.

Which in and of itself makes a good screening question:

"What would it take for you to NEVER use social media again?"

Asked playfully, it will give you some keen insight.

taiyuu_otoko said:

Which in and of itself makes a good screening question:

"What would it take for you to NEVER use social media again?"

Asked playfully, it will give you some keen insight.

Click to expand...

I really like this. Very good thinking here.

Dude, I deleted my faceplant page long ago.
I never texted, either.

And, interested chicks used the telephone.
Uninterested ones found it to be an excuse.

The "integral part of dating" is simply the part where, if they don't get ahold of you by phone, they're gone.

Easy.

It actually works in your favor to sort out interested ones from uninterested ones. Use it that way, don't supplicate or be shamed.

I've done fine without FB. It doesn't make a big difference. That's just me though.

If you have frame in real life, you'll have frame online. In other words if you have a FB account, don't over-post, "like" things, or in general do much with the account. Less is more as always.

I would create a Facebook account don't have any interesting buddies or friends. Its hardly like I go anywhere interesting in life at the moment. Its hardly going to give the chick a positive view of me.

Does anyone can tell me how I can create a 'fake' account that will put me in a really good light. Think of it as similar to people photoshopping their photos to make themselves look really good. Where I can get fake good looking buddies including hot women in exotic places. Something that is not there in my life at the moment.

I know there is a mature section to this forum but you got to move with the times and stop being a dinasour.

if you don't have a facebook, either you don't like anybody(if you don't like anyone, why would you be on a website which is all about connecting with people, holden caulfield would hate facebook), or no one likes you or you have something to hide.

so uh, if you're looking for/trying to avoid people with social skills, bear that in mind.

Let me lay something out for you.

This is coming from a good looking guy who has a "great" facebook profile. I crafted it as uniquely as possible for maximum social proof...pictures of me modeling, baby pictures, traveling etc. I've done all types of experiments on Facebook and the thing I'm going to tell you and anyone else reading this is to never use facebook to ask a woman out. You can add random people as friends and if they accept that's cool but leave it at that. You can have short conversations with women and that's as far as you will get. Don't ask women out over facebook.

Do it in person.

Whether she has low interest level or not you will only find out if you have the balls to ask her out face to face in person. If she tells you to add her on facebook that's basically a rejection. Don't fall for it!!!

Facebook, twitter, instagram are all bullsh!t. It's all a ploy to get attention that most people lack so don't get sucked into it. This is what most people do on facebook....they update there "status's" everyday, post pictures of food, there kids, getting married, random bull**** and videos. Again never ask anyone out over facebook. Even pictures that people post you have to look at them very carefully. Women will post pictures from angles hiding there ugliness and there physique.

I have a facebook account as well just to have an online presence but what I'm doing now is trying to max out my friends list but even THAT isn't working because people don't want to accept my requests. It's funny because these are the same people that have 1000+ friends and don't accept my request for reasons I don't know. The other thing I use it for is to watch videos that people post up and stay up to date with what's hip or what are the new trends that everyone is following for example :- ALS Ice bucket challenge. It's a good way to stay in tune with what's going on in the world but other than that it serves no purpose.:kick: