Child Involved...Damn..Help A Brother Out

Okay I'm going give GREAT details .... Need some
advice, but not just advice... advice supported by details...

Now I got this girlfriend right...She is the mother of my child
We been dating for almost 3 years.. Our son is one year old
However, she with those ****in games... if you ask me.

She got a ex, she talked to for 5 years or so
and this guy stilll in the damn pic... I told her
stop talking to him twice...So at one point she did
(at least from what i saw) now she started back..

Now this not any consistent talk everyday kind of stuff
probably every now and then.. but then again how i know
for sure...

She never chilled with him since we been together
but at the same time
she seem to still have some type of feelings..
im far from and ******* and when there is
an ex involve usually some type of way..there
is still some feelings & emotions.

However, since we do have a son and don't live
together...I let some stuff slide...(i shouldn't have)
but because she is a young mother 20 and im 23..
and Ill hate to go through that child support stuff
though i don't think she would since i glady take
care of my son..but you never know with women
they wishy washy af..

Now this same ex live in town i live in..but he in college
now playing ball...(every womans dream man right)..****
that i look good af too and woman wanting me everyday
as well..a whole lot..

So when he come home for weekend
sometime he used to text her...I told her hell nawl...ion approve
of that... now as far as social media.. she follow him on instagram
and friends on facebook... its like she trying to keep up with him
and his life... she literally know every new update of this guy,so they have to be communicating

but this is really what gets me... I caught her lying red handed
to my damn face... she was on my laptop and left her facebook up
of course i shouldn't have looked but oh well.. i did..

she wrote him asking him "Can i have your number lol"?
he replied" your bf deleted it lol?"
she said 'no"
then he sent the number

so she immediately deleted the convo..mind you.. im on my laptop
looking at it.. while she at home on her phone..

So i get her house...ask her how her day going, all that crap
and then good thing was she was already on fb.. So i ask her to
go to her inbox.. so then i ask when last time you talk to your ex
(he was on top of her timeline, that was my excuse for asking)

she said a while.. then she came out and said today... he ask me was i pregnant (dont worry, she had made a fb status and about her cousin being pregnant and 3 people inboxed her about it, so she tried to make it seem like he was one of them)

He didnt ask her that ****.. she lied and then i ask her was she sure
he ask that and she still said yea.. then i told her ass..you
a damn lie.. you asked that man can you have his number, etc

so just like most women she laughed at first, thats what they do
when they know they ****ed up.. then she stayed quiet for about
10 minutes

After that she come out and say you should have never been on my
stuff, blah blah blah.. im like **** all that..

So these last 3 days.. I been regrouping and getting myself straight
I had another ex play me before so i know how to pick back up fast now.

So i do go see my son Everyday...he's my boy and I will NEVER neglect him
because i never had my pops really in my life. So first day i go see him, me and her dont speak or nun and I dipped after playing with him..

Second day, i go over later...she send her brothers to say she dont wont
to be bother..she know i wasn't come to see her truthfully told..but cool

now today i go see my son...and im not mean or nun.. just being calm and chill..she say some about my son to me.. i respond .. ask her some basic stuff
but at same time.. my vibe is kind of like.. i aint studdin your ass..she know that vibe...

so i leave with my son and she text me saying
Congratulations you got your son.. (she was trying to be funny and say i dont ever get my son)
So i respond... its not hard being the best dad in the world, appreciate that #1000

then she text.. Its not hard either, all i ask is for you to come get him some
time..whatever...
I replied.. with some laughing emoji.. and she reply "iight thats real childish"

Now i text like that because she know damn well Why im not talking to her and its not because our son.. and since she was trying to be funny.. I use indifference right along with her...

So i took my son home that night...and she acting real nice
so i decided to joke with her a little bit... and lets just say
in the end.. I ****ed her ass to sleep like a lil *****..


now i dont want her think that she got away..hell nawl
because today..back to being dry af with her and focused
just on my son...

now first for her ex to say your bf deleted it..
let me know that when they do talk..im discussed
in in his eyes..im a little ***** and she let him do it

Also, she disrespectful af and lied to my face
and in front of her parents...she get loud
and be rude af knowing since im in her folks house
i wont be able to respond like i want too...

i feel she value this guy more than us..

Im also talking back to my whole list of females...
and just rejoined the gym..

Now our mindset is so different and if wasn't for our son
i would have been left her ass...Truthfully told..

But to be quite honest... she going to be a nice diamond in the rough
in next few years as she mature.. she got real potential! She dont give
any dudes no damn play but this ex.. he got a part of her and that limits
me you know..

and her mom plays a big part in how she act.. her mom is so damn childish
and when we argue her mom try to be nosey and say her lil slick stuff

sometimes i want to go off on her mom..real talk.but nawl i dont
i be nice and just chill ..

so with seeing her mom act that way
i know for a fact she got a lot of growing and maturing
to do, as well as learning more about her...

So what i was doing is helping her discover who she really was
empowering her, we went church together often and now she starting to
love it, in fact she ask me now ..are we going, etc...

NOW I NEED TO KNOW

How should I handle This from here on out?
I must be involve in son life...
and i know the more you tell someone to do this..they do the exact opposite
she cause me insecure... yes i have made myself look that way..
because she wont listen...

Now i do love her alot, but im also a guy who been hurt before so when
it comes to love..if i see hurt from a mile away..im going to do me..you know

I realized today i was being a true AFC to her and now switching from that **** quickly to being the one with Power and im not letting nothing she do affect me...


NOW FROM HERE ON OUT.. HOW DO I HANDLE THIS? KNOWING THAT I LOVE HER, AND I WANT TO BE IN MY SON LIFE, BUT AT SAME TIME, IM NOT ABOUT TO LET HER DO **** HER WAY..

thought about treating her like a slut.. and **** her and more girls and leave it be... need some real advice!

Right now she DOES have the power. She controls your access to your son.

The ex is the alpha in her eyes. After all he has "prospects" and a future in football. That's megabucks in her eyes and STATUS. The only thing this dumb b!tch doesn't realize is that she's less than a plate in his eyes. That's HER problem, not yours and leave it like that. Nothing you say will make any difference to her.

Don't treat her like a slut and keep things amicable with her so that she doesn't shaft you and most definitely NEVER wife this slut up. You have dreams that you're going to be Captain Save-A-Ho and wait around for her to grow up. Forget about it. Life is TOO short.

Go get yourself an education and learn to articulate yourself better. And next time pick a better piece of azz to impregnate.

You have feelings for her, but get out! Stay involved with your son, she is going to put you through hell with the courts and try to stick it to you.
She probably thinks he is the best thing on earth right now. She is too young for something serious even though she has a kid. Just move on with someone else, she will regret this in time. Dude will dump her and she will come running to you, but don't be there for her.

I was in a similar situation where I was into the girl whose ex played football, and had a short stint with the Ravens. He came back in the picture heavy, I was still in college and didn't stand a chance. Luckily no child in the picture.

Get a paternity test.

You have no control in your situation, sorry bro. She holds all power as of right now. If you submit to anything she requests, she will see you as a pushover and leave. If you decide to just keep on going as you have always done, being alpha, she will see that she is not getting her way and still leave. Soo... you can either play along and hope that it lasts, or get out of this mess and move forward with your life. Having a kid involved is painful, believe me I know. I have two and my wife took them with her when she found a new man in her life. I have to pay child support. It is what it is, the laws are completely against us, and the only thing we can do about it is not get married or have children in the first place, because once you do, the woman holds complete power over you financially.

Ruleit said:

Right now she DOES have the power. She controls your access to your son.

The ex is the alpha in her eyes. After all he has "prospects" and a future in football. That's megabucks in her eyes and STATUS. The only thing this dumb b!tch doesn't realize is that she's less than a plate in his eyes. That's HER problem, not yours and leave it like that. Nothing you say will make any difference to her.

Don't treat her like a slut and keep things amicable with her so that she doesn't shaft you and most definitely NEVER wife this slut up. You have dreams that you're going to be Captain Save-A-Ho and wait around for her to grow up. Forget about it. Life is TOO short.

Go get yourself an education and learn to articulate yourself better. And next time pick a better piece of azz to impregnate.

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No, i'm very smart to be quite honest.. i just didn't take writing on this
thread very serious... in fact i have two Degrees..haha weird right..

and i finished Valedictorian in High school... and hopefullly I'll be a millionaire
soon as i have my own online business.... but you are right..
I'll just keep thing even so i can always see my son

movistar said:

You have feelings for her, but get out! Stay involved with your son, she is going to put you through hell with the courts and try to stick it to you.
She probably thinks he is the best thing on earth right now. She is too young for something serious even though she has a kid. Just move on with someone else, she will regret this in time. Dude will dump her and she will come running to you, but don't be there for her.

I was in a similar situation where I was into the girl whose ex played football, and had a short stint with the Ravens. He came back in the picture heavy, I was still in college and didn't stand a chance. Luckily no child in the picture.

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Yes, i was thinking the same thing... Get out fast and go my own way

bradd80 said:

You know how women are all sneaky and do one thing while telling you another? They act like everything's all right to your face but behind your back they're formulating all kinds of plans to be with other guys and screw you over?

Well that's how men should be. And right now (from personal experience), that's how you have to be now too.

It's my understanding that you two don't live together. After 3 years and having a child together, that should tell you a lot. It tells me you guys probably aren't going to work out long term, if for no other reason than because there aren't enough emotional and legal ties to make a breakup some too costly.

If I were you, I would start seeing other women. This would open up options for you once things go south, and it would decrease your emotional dependency on this woman. It would also help alleviate all the little crap she does that p*sses you off, bc usually when girls do little things to anger us seeing other girls helps us not care so much.

I don't think your gf was cheating before she sent that msg about his phone number. But the moment she asked for that number, I think it shows that she made up her mind that she is going to try things out with him. She couldn't resist her temptation, and we all know she's attracted to him in more than "just a friend" kind of way and is more than willing to go all the way with him.

There's nothing you can do about that. You need to stop being controlling, this will only push her into his arms. You need to stop caring for two reasons: first, it's the only way to win back her attention and second, if/when things do end, you won't be as hurt.

Relationships end all the time, most of them do, so don't feel bad when this one doesn't work out.

As for your son, it's important you don't do anything to anger her. When she tries to make you mad, laugh it off because you already know her game and what she's trying to do because you've already received great advice from us. Give her money here and there for your boy. Continue to take him out, pick him up, show her that you take good care of him. But it's also important to show her that she can't use him to get what she wants. Otherwise, if you do, she will use him as a weapon against you to hurt you.

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Thanks for your advice that is very solid... Yes
im already on the look for new women and
is waisting no time at all...

and as far as controlling, I'm going stay in my
lane now and not let stuff bother me....

and reason we don't live together is because
I had hard time finding job..now i have one
and have another interview today... But
of course...im getting My son and I a place
in near future.

And yep im going continue to be a great dad
and just play my cards right... appreciate that

Epimanes said:

Get a paternity test.

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I know thats my son for sure.. already did

My response to any other guy hitting on the girl I'm with, whether it's an ex on facebook or a random guy in a bar, has always been something like, "woo-hoo! Let's have a gangbang!!!"

Now, I'm joking, but jokes are funny because they have an element of truth to them. The truth behind the joke is that she is acting like a wh0re, and that's what makes it funny. And on a deeper level, you're also saying that you don't care enough about her to be disturbed by her fvcking another guy; once again that's how you would regard a ho.

A friend of mine got married to a beauty queen when he was 18, and of course they ended up getting divorced a couple of years later. They were way too young to handle marriage. After she had moved out, he was telling the guys at work how miserable he was. This was in Arkansas. My friend was a rich sheltered white kid. An old black guy said to him:

What if she were getting fvcked by another guy right now? What if he was bending her over and pounding her, and she was just fvcking loving it? Would that bother you?

My friend said he almost puked when the guy said that. "Yes! That would bother me a lot!"

Well then THAT, my man, is your problem. And then he walked off.

The added irony of not caring what a woman does is that it is the best way to make her do what you want her to do.

Bible_Belt said:

My response to any other guy hitting on the girl I'm with, whether it's an ex on facebook or a random guy in a bar, has always been something like, "woo-hoo! Let's have a gangbang!!!"

Now, I'm joking, but jokes are funny because they have an element of truth to them. The truth behind the joke is that she is acting like a wh0re, and that's what makes it funny. And on a deeper level, you're also saying that you don't care enough about her to be disturbed by her fvcking another guy; once again that's how you would regard a ho.

A friend of mine got married to a beauty queen when he was 18, and of course they ended up getting divorced a couple of years later. They were way too young to handle marriage. After she had moved out, he was telling the guys at work how miserable he was. This was in Arkansas. My friend was a rich sheltered white kid. An old black guy said to him:

What if she were getting fvcked by another guy right now? What if he was bending her over and pounding her, and she was just fvcking loving it? Would that bother you?

My friend said he almost puked when the guy said that. "Yes! That would bother me a lot!"

Well then THAT, my man, is your problem. And then he walked off.

The added irony of not caring what a woman does is that it is the best way to make her do what you want her to do.

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lmao..... I care about her a whole lot... But I finally man up and let her know... so on that note.. she know we are not together
and so far as I can see for this first week... Its been kind of tough for me
but i can see her looking even more suprise and suprised as she see
that I am not with the BS anymore...