Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

The Journal

badboyjmm

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They say the first step of solving a problem is admitting you have one. Well my fellow brothers, I have several ones. To start I'm a bigger dude (6'1-6'2 285lbs) I have terrible posture. I discover this site and it help me with my confidence and talking to the ladies. I've had a few pickups, a few girlfriends, one ONS. I just started to realize that my posture and my weight are the reason why I`m not happy. I want a meaningful relationship but I wanna start with being able to spin plates first. I tried last summer and although I did manage to have a few hangout/dates, nothing serious happen.

So I will have the journal so I can post my failures and my success. I have a few goals in mind.

- Get in shape in 3 months (I started today by doing some pushups, sit-ups and have a 20 minutes slow run with incline on my treadmill) I have my confidence that can be very low or very high sometimes. Being in shape will totally help my confidence. I'm wondering if I need to take a gym membership or should I just train at my apartment ?

- Eventually approach more ladies (I wanna be spinning plates, eventually have a girlfriend, which bring me to another point)

-Get rid of my-oneitis: She a pretty girl that I was madly in love with a few years ago, she had a bf that lived in another continent. So I stopped talking to her, then I started again. She managed to pull me back by saying that before she was going out with the guy, she had a crush on me... She doesnt even live in the same city as me right now and I'm sure that I'm way too concerned with her well-being. I still like her but I feel that I'm stuck on her because I don't have plates. Good girl but her behavior is hot and cold and sometimes I just don`t hear from her only for her to apologize because she had problems with her mom or whatnot (seems legit, but I feel that im chasing too much). I feel that I've I go visit her more often, maybe I can have a definite idea if being somehow related romantically is doable.

- Get rid of my porn addiction: I only do it once or twice before going to sleep but it's a buffer. It didn't go any better with my big a$$ phone, Samsung galaxy note 2, big screen. It probably kills my desires to go out there and approach chicks ( I sometimes feel that I can approach any girl but because I haven`t dated or have sex regularly with a chick, I sometimes feel worthless) Masturbation feels good, but I feel guilty as fu*ck after because I`m waiting two people having sex instead of finding myself a girl to fu*ck.

- Join the army as a reserve: Always liked the disclipine and the hard work. I feel that I'm not in shape to even being applying. Would even love the training but I dont wanna go fight overseas.

-Get back to university: Finishing my one year left in criminology.

-Going less to clubs: I would usually go once or twice per week. I didn't go last weekend, clubbing sucks in my area but I would go anyway hoping for the best I guess haha:cheer: It feel good to talk to my dad instead of just passing out in my bed.

So these are my goals. If you have any questions or suggestions, feel free to post. I need help so I can stay motivated

Thanks for reading.
 

badboyjmm

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Thanks for the reply. We'll see how the weight loss goes. I think that aiming for 240-250 is more realistic because I was never a skinny dude. As per the website its has a lot of informations and its good to see that im not the only one struggling with porn addiction. Im on day 2 and the issue are the dreams at night. Im dreaming that im with girls I like (including my oneitis) and that they are confessing their love for me and we end up banging. Speaking about my oneitis, she texted me that for some odd reason she couldnt see my text(sfter 2 days passed) im getting fed up. I just wish I could either bang her or have a girl that wanna bang get me some more practice. I haven't flirted with a girl in a while and I havent had sex in almost 1 year. That's the most frustrating part but I try to get my motivation for a better body.

A little run this morning since im resting my abs and my arms since they are still sore for yesterday's workout. I feel good but it sucks that im super honey and going to work soon. Im also looking for a home gym to built some muscles.

Im waiting for the weekend and see it I should go out and try to talk to some girls but I still feel like it's a lost of time. Is that normal to think that way ?
 

badboyjmm

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FR: I decided to go clubbing, since I have a serious case of blue balls (them motherf*'ckers hurt and it feels like its going to explode). To add pain to injury, I'm trying to get rid of masturbating and porn.

The club was nice and it was cool to see the boncers and a few regulars I know. So I saw this average chick grinding with her friend to bring attention. They did that all nice, the average girl was checking me out and they even went close to meet to continue their "performance". I didnt to anything because every other guy in the club tried to dance with them. the girl kept checking me out still, maybe i should of tried talking and dancing. Finally, a good song to dance was playing so i slowly move to the dancefllor to find the girl. Her friend and her are still pushing guys away (guys in my city when it comes to clubbing they are extreme betas)The friend of the average girl got kicked out because she so pissed about pushing guys left and right, she shoved a guy and the guy almost fell.

More drama at the club, a couple figts in and out of the club, ambulance shows up, cops arresting 2 guys

At least I had fun dancing and it felt good to be somehow wanted. I was alone since my friends ended up making stupid plans (let go out and figure where to go.... I hate going out and not knowing where I'm going.)

So no numbers, no chick in my bed, and blue balls... great. On a side note, I want it to go to the strip club to at least have a lapdance (it would of relaxed me since im having issue sleeping with all the sexual energy in me thats being kept within) I got there too late .... maybe a God's sign ? Who knows. All I know its thats it going to be hard to sleep.

Good morning everybody
 

TheException

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Im a personal trainer. PM or email me if you want fitness advice brother. Good luck with the goals.
 

JohnChops

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No more keyboard jockeying . Action is the place.
Hydrak said:
Damn, you're a big guy. If I were you I would go down to 220 lbs, this can easily be achieved by just eating properly. Regarding your porn addiction, watch these videos:
http://yourbrainonporn.com/your-brain-on-porn-series
I love the science behind it. Our brain works on a rewards system using dopamine. When you over stimulate the dopamine receptors via watching porn and ejaculating then you become a zombie, pretty much. You don't feel anything anymore. I haven't watched porn in 3 weeks and it feels pretty damn good , i enjoy life now .
 

badboyjmm

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@the exception: will do definitely, thanks for the support

@johnchops: I agree, the last time I got laid was went I was going out alot and not watching porn. The issue is that I can deal with dnot watching porn but i dont masturbate within aa few days, my balls just start hurting like a girl gave me a low blow... its weird and super painful.
 

badboyjmm

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Went clubbing on Friday. It's really starting to piss me off. I had fun and music was bearable. The issue is that the girls come in either gangs of 5-6 or with their bf. How am I suppose to game like that...

Anyways, it was cool to get a message from a girl that works there. She offered her number by saying that since I'm a regular I shouldn't be paying for cover and that she would enter my name in the guestlist. She send me a message asking if I had a good night since she wasn't working. There might be a slight interest or maybe the girl was just trying to boost her tip bonus ? Who knows.

I decided to quit my job because of the stress I was having, the changes of procedures and the fact that management always take time to inform me made me do errors and I got fed up. I guess I was doing my job without carrying too much but at the end, it got the better of me and I quit. I'm currently looking for another job.

I was planning a trip to see my oneitis, we actually talk a few times times week and she really want it to know when I was gonna come. Probably a good sign that we might be more than eternal friends... I told that to my dad and he basically said that I have to look for a woman to have my fun and that this guy will never accept being with a fat guy like me. That since I don't work and I have to revamp my closet that it will never work. That all I do is go party and stuff.

I mean, I'm trying to lose weight and its hard. I know I've been lacking motivation but I'm still trying. I wanna be better with women but it's not like I can but my sexual urges on hold while I get physically more appealing. I feel like crap because of this talk. I understand game and I apply in but girls don't come to date and pursue sexual relationship. I get put in the friendzone and I don`t mind that. But with most of the girls ? I don`t think staying inside my apartment will help me but maybe I have to stop going out since I can`t attract anybody... Man, focusing on myself is harder than I thought
 

badboyjmm

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Quick update on the oneitis situation. I went to visit her and had fun. We laugh, hangout, went shopping. She paid for all my food, cooked me pancakes, give me munchies for the road.

When I acknowledge that I'm still not completely over here and that she's the only girl I can consider to be in a relationship. She said that we known eachother for a while now (almost 4 years) and that although she did have a crush on me, she really doesn't wanna ruin the friendship that we had. She said that I am someone that she can trust, that we can speak about everything and that she mentions me to everybody that she knows. So for that matter, she wanna us to stay really good friends.

I look at her for a moment and I just agree. I guess there's no point of trying to convincing her. I truly think that she's simply cared of losing me as a friend if things go south.

I took a resolution that I need to approach during the day. Maybe it will help me spin plate a little more
 

Dan08

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I'll try to help you out brother and address some of the points you've mentioned.

Your excersize - The days you feel sore or tired you want to get your butt into the gym, the best gains you'll make will be on the days your muscles are sore. If it ain't going to kill you then put up with it, but listen to your body so you don't tear any muscles. Go 4 days a week with a mixup of lifiting heavy weight and HIIT Cardio. Every 8 weeks take 1 off. And watch your diet of course.

Start small - You're going out to clubs aiming to pull each night it seems. I don't try to go to club with the attitude to pull, I go to enjoy myself, assess the situation and go from there. If you go to a club looking to pull you're putting out a vibe and you may settle for an UG rather than go home alone and the latter is always the better option.

Oneitis - You have the answer you needed, she frankly sees you as an emotional tampon and nothing more. if you can honestly live with that then good for you, but if not you gotta tell her you're just gonna do your own sh!t and live your life. She'll respect you for having the balls to be a man about it and tell her and it'll help you longterm.

The girl that messaged you - Go for it. Don't second guess if she wants increased tips or whatever otherwise nothing will happen and you'll still have blue balls :p

Go out - I want to refer you to a document called Nine Ball by Jeff Allen. If you thought you had it tough, read this through and through and it'll open you're eyes to what you're capable off.

Approach - Definately approach during the day, try the DJ Bible Bootcamp perhaps?
 

badboyjmm

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@Dan08, For exercise, you are right, it kinda painful when you are sore, but after its all done, you fell great.

As per the club, I will try not to go, since I really thing that my physique is the reason I'm not having success (or maybe it's just the lack of confidence associated with my poor physique) I'm a not bad dancer and I usually get ladies to dance or chit-chat, but I'm sure something is holding me back. So I will try to focus more on running on my treadmill and also find me a gym.

For the oneitis, it's better if I disappear. I'm pretty sure that my physique is the main reason I didn't get her. The girl was sending me subjective pictures... Anyways the main point is that I will simply disappear and work on myself. If she wants news, I will text her that I'm doing great and keep moving. For me anyways, it never turn out good if I ask for a girl to be my girlfriend or telling a girl that I need time to move on (In my own opinion it makes you look weak)

I saw the girl that messaged me during the weekend while being out, she was cool although surrounded by her friends. Since I couldn't really talk to her, I texted her after the club was done. She said that I was a really good dancer,I replied that she should teach me how to dance on country songs and left it at that

I texted her today (monday) to see if she had a good weekend and inviting her to have a drink on friday. She said that she won't be able to go on friday because she's working and that she doesn't have a social life... Anyways, maybe she saw an opportunity with me to increase her tips while making me not pay to go clubbing. She mention an event on Sunday at the club and that I should let her know if I wanna buy tickets... Maybe I should try one more time to hang out with her ?

I will definitely read the Nine ball document. Clubbing this weekend was really boring, although I did have fun Thursday because I was simply enjoying myself while checking out the NHL playoffs. Clubs have been dead too. I haven't got laid in a year now and it's slowly starting to bother me. I'm having issues sleeping. I haven't manage to have regular sex with any girls in my life and it make me wonder what's going on with me. I probably focus too much on the physical aspect but that's the only one that I can think of that I have to change.

Regardless of this borderline boring weekend, I managed to work on my car, install seat covers for my dad's car, clean up the apartment, saw my best friend to play some videos game. So I kept myself occupied, but I really want to have the ability to attract girls and have regular sex.
 

badboyjmm

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Quick update

I haven't post it too much but last week have been pretty good: I went from 289lbs (May 2) to 284.6 lbs (may 23). I was able to go out, enjoy myself with a few friends and most importantly HAVE FUN !

I wanna start a HIIT Program to keep the weight off. Also my mentality towards girls is getting a little more positive. Me and my friends entered a bar/club for free by saying that it was my buddy bachelor party. Funny thing is that girls were just looking at us, we just didn't give a fu*k and confidence was HIGH. A girl that I approach long ago and that rejected me was all smile ( I haven't been to that bar in soo long) No approaches but it was really fun to just have fun

I started no fap since Monday and its been amazing so far. I feel more focused and I don't view woman as only sex object. I will definitely take the time to approach a few ladies in the upcoming weekend. The only downfall from no fap is that it takes me longer to sleep and thinking about an attractive lady give a insane raging boner (and temptation to look at porn, but I haven't cracked yet). Let's see if I can use this energy to check out some ladies.

I've meet with the girl on Sunday and she basically sold me the tickets to the event and nothing more... I don't know if she wants to hang out or whatever, I will have to ask her again. If it doesn't happen, too bad I will use her to get at the club for free.
 

TDS

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As a former big guy who worked his way down to skinnyfat and now working to achieve pretty-damn-good, let me offer some advice.

You can exercise all you want, but if the diet is terrible, then you won't be having much luck. Honestly, that was the bit I struggled with - loved my carbs, loved my sugars, and loved loved LOVED my cans of Coca-Cola (drank 10 cans a day). Without getting too technical, here's what I'll suggest; change chips (or fries, if you're American) and any sugary drinks with just water. Actually, accept this motto: "Thou shalt drink nothing but water." Seriously, nothing is better or healthier for you.

Other than that, just train. Personally, I hate running, but I love swimming, so try that (works out all your muscles, and after an hour you feel knackered and have probably got rid of a load of calories). Of course, don't feel you have to do this, or that; the best advice I can give is do what sport you like. As long as you're active and moving around, you'll see the weight drop.

Speaking of calories, try out a free calorie counter; you can find a **** load online. Work out your TDEE (which is basically how many calories your body needs to, usually around 2,500-3,000) and cut down by 500 cals.

Good luck, matey, hope ya get there!
 

badboyjmm

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Crazy night !

@TDS thank for the advice bro !

I decide to go out with my buddy after looking at the some playoff hockey and basketball (Miami lost :cuss:) Anyway, I go to a first spot which we have guestlist for and apparently we got there way too late. My buddy didn't wanna pay so we decided to go to another spot. The other spot was dead but I spotted the coat check girl

Girl: Hey how are you !
Badboyjmm: Wonderful and you (I gave her two kisses on each cheeks)
Girl: I'm fine, well I'm sorry that went we saw eachother last Sunday
Badboyjmm:No problem haha
Girl:I love you ! (that came out of the blue)
badboyjmm:What !!!
Girl:Just kidding ! I didn't dance with you last time but I'm free next weekend so we can make it happen (with a huge smile on her face)
badboyjmm: Alright haha
Girl: Do you want my predictions for tonight ? It's going to be dead
badboyjmm: Yep

Then I went inside the club for like 5 mins, it was dead and it was passed midnight.

I said bye to the girl, she kept on asking where are you leaving to, seemed disappointed that I didn't stay. Also mention that we are going to see eachother next week. We shall see

Then I decide to go to another spot. My friend saw a girl that he knew and went to say hi. We chat a little bit with the girl. Then I see some other friends as well, so while I say hi to everybody a cute girl comes my way. She speaks to my buddy to ask how's that guy ? I told her she can ask herself that question

Girl: Soooooo who are you mister ?
badboyjmm: I'm badboyjmm and you
girl: I'm Becca
badboyjmm: Nice to meet you Becca, how your night so far
Girl: It's really good. (while coming closer to me)
Girl: Well we should meet up sometimes
badboyjmm: Yeah why not, you are cute
Girl: Well thank you, what's your phone number ?

So I give her my phone number then she proceed to text me rightway
badboyjmm: So you think it's a wrong phone number ?
girl: You never know !
badboyjmm: I got a text from a random girl. ''hi it's becca'' who is that
girl: haha it's me silly, do you think I'm cute ?
badboyjmm: Yes
girl: Is it because of my boobs ! You can look at them
badboyjmm: I don't know (while making sure I don't look)
girl: Come on ! I know you wanna look !
badboyjmm: You have cute eyes, let's dance

We dance, it gets super hot inside, I tell her we should cool off outside. Then I proceed to tell her it's her fault for making me sweat. We make out, she almost rips my shirt to touch me. In front of a few people that was smoking or what know. We then go for a walk, make out everywhere but she does not want me to take her home. So she goes back to the club and proceed to ignore me. Plus her friends stop me from dancing with her.

So I decide to leave to check out another club. I meet my buddy and explain him what happen and how the chick was down but her friends block me. He said to text her to see if she's ok.

So Via text:
Badboyjmm: I just wanna make sure you are ok
girl: I'm still downtown lol


Then no answer so I decided to push for the ONS.
badboyjmm: I will take you home

no answer, I call her
badboyjmm: hey Becca, are you ok ?
girl: Who are you ?
badboyjmm: We've meet at lunenburg.
girl: What ? Then she hang ups...

Finally I can a text once I'm about to leave to go home.
girl:lol no I'm safe now :)

Well interesting night to say the least, I think she didn't wanna show her friends that she were hooking up with me.... I will see. She was cute, she would be awesome plate. Well I'll wait for a bit and text her, see if I can hangout with her.

Two girls seem to want my attention ! I started no fap on Monday... Maybe there's a correlation, since I got laid last year from doing no fap for a week...

I feel really good although, I would prefer not to sleep with a raging boner haha. Now I gotta get back to approach girls, but my high confidence, it shouldn't be a problem
 

badboyjmm

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Update of the oneitis

When I acknowledge that I'm still not completely over here and that she's the only girl I can consider to be in a relationship. She said that we known eachother for a while now (almost 4 years) and that although she did have a crush on me, she really doesn't wanna ruin the friendship that we had. She said that I am someone that she can trust, that we can speak about everything and that she mentions me to everybody that she knows. So for that matter, she wanna us to stay really good friends.

I look at her for a moment and I just agree. I guess there's no point of trying to convincing her. I truly think that she's simply cared of losing me as a friend if things go south.
Well I never got news for that girl, last message I go from her was on May 8 lol, So much for ruining friendship !!! She did it herself ! Amazing. Well she's on permanent NC until she says Hi. Besides, I started not to care, since there's no reason why someone can't just reply to a text by saying they are busy or something.

What was more stupid was that I talk to her on the phone in January. I told her that if there's no possibility of us being together, to just let me know and I will move on and we'll stay friends. She had the nerve to tell me that '' There's things we cannot speak on the phone'' So I gotta thank her for leading me on and learn my lesson for next time.

Anyways, too bad for her, NC until she moves. I'm doing pretty good myself and I can't feel bad for somebody that just lead people on like that
 

badboyjmm

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Well the girl I've had fun with last week didn't reply to my text. Neither did the cover girl at the club. I realize an interesting pattern. Those girls would make a point to give me their contact information but they will simply not follow thru. Those girls would approach me but nothing happens afterwards. Maybe I'm doing something wrong ?

Does anybody experience this ? What do you guys think ?
 

badboyjmm

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It seems that I will be going back to school. My father has agreed to pass me some money to go back and make payment on my loan. I broke NC a few days ago just to text the girl I had oneitis for happy birthday. She replied by saying thanks and today, sent me a message on FB wanting to know if I'm planning something for my birthday... I wanna reply but since I wanna move on, I will ignore for now...

My morale has been really down in terms of women, nobody wants to hangout, girls I met don't reply to my text messages. I'm sexually frustrated as well, I can't sleep properly because I'm horny all the time. I can't pass one day without nofap. It just drive me crazy although I know girls seem to approach me whenever I don't fap for a week.... Interesting

I saw a girl that I knew on Saturday, she said that I will probably see her next week. she didn't bother sending me message to let me know when she will be free. I will NC then don't go to the club she's working and see what happen.
 

badboyjmm

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hop On hop Off said:
How about f*** her for the one last time before you leave?
Well it wasn't a possibility because we never got the hangout. I also didn't push the issue since she doesn't seem interested


As per an update it's been a while that I didn't manage this journal, manly focusing on losing weight and working. After gaining the small lost of weight I had (I got back at 291 lbs) I manage to brought it down to 266 in about a month and a half.

Whoever said that sometimes you need to take a break out of this forum was completely right. It's been a total blessing and I manage to get motivated and stay motivated working out.

I feel more energized through the day and I'm highly motivated. I don't care so much about trying to get with women. I go out with my friends, I enjoy myself, talk to a few ladies and that's all. All I care about is bringing my weight down and being fit to play soccer

My family and my friends have been really supportive and they say that I've changed for the best. I look at the mirror and I really start to like what I see. Also a few shirts that were too small are starting to fit again !! It's fantastic !

I eat very healthy and I eat some pizza sometimes (filled with hot peppers and chicken) to keep me sane since I'm on a constant diet. I drink alot of water and I've also eliminate drinking juice or pop (I'll drink a little bit during the weekend)

Didn't see any changes with the ladies but it's not something that I worry about. My end goal is to be at 240lbs by the end of November and ultimately get at 220 and see my abs popping out !

Stay motivated inspiring Don Juan's !
http://blog.winforever.com/yesterday-you-said-tomorrow/
 

badboyjmm

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FR: Weird vibe about this girl...

I met this girl that my buddy fvcked a while back. My buddy basically sent her my number and she texted me. Long story short she invites me over at her place to fvck. We talk about school, eat pizza, watch a movie. She a cute girl and everything, but at one point at the movie, I told her if she like dirty talk. She replies that she doesn't talk about that stuff because having sex with someone for the first time is awkward and that we will figure it out. The movie ends after an hour and a half. I'm also passing out and her too.

We talk some more and she saying how there's condoms in a little box and that we should start. I can sense that she's really tired so I tell her we should do it another time. Basically telling me that she won't ride me and she will let me do all the work (I was a bit turn off by that) She says that it wasn't a good idea to have conversation, that I was a bit too nice and that I should have put my foot down and go for the kill

She also mentions that we should give each other a raincheck because she knew that I came to get laid. So I will be seeing her tomorrow.

It's just a weird vibe, the girl was basically waiting for me to get laid and me I was thinking that it was just a question of making it less awkward with conversation... Maybe it's a good thing that I didn't bang her. But maybe knowing that she doesn't really care about sex was a turn off... I feel weird with the whole situation but at least I will try again.
 
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