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So your girlfriend wants to "take a break"?

Purefilth

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So, you got dumped.
Firstly Stop crying. Put the phone down, Don’t even THINK of looking at facebook. Emails are a nono too.
Realise this – She is over you.
Yup, that’s it – She had her “mourning the end of a relationship” period last month – when she was distant?
You remember that ? She seemed moody but it wasn’t that time of the month?
Maybe you even pestered her about it because You were Concerned, but then simpered around and handled her with kid gloves because you didn’t want her to snap at you again?

Yeah, you remember. Those two weeks were her way of preparing herself for the big storm coming. Maybe she even said “we need a break – lets not talk for 2 weeks”.
My buddy came to me with this and I told him what I’m about to tell you.

THIS RELATIONSHIP IS OVER

That’s it, done, finished. Lets have a two week break has the Simple translation to

“I’m testing the strength of this new branch.”
Or
“ I can go and wh0re myself out down town”


AND she will justify it to herself and her friends WHO WILL BACK HER UP.
“It’s ok because we’re on a break”

But he didn’t listen, He held on for those 2 weeks staring at his phone. Honestly the only thing that kept him from blowing up her phone was – the ever dedicated wingman, pillar of support and wisdom that was a young Purefilth ;)

Lets be honest here. I knew that his relationship was over, and I told him so. But Because SHE called it “a break”he held on to those words for dear life. Him blowing up her phone would have had ZERO effect on the outcome of this scenario. I just wanted to save him his dignity – That’s all that matters here. Holding yourself together is what matters.

And when those two weeks were up, and she had tortured him with radio silence – dangling the chance of reconciliation in front of his nose with no intention of ever letting him near it?

Yup – He was crushed. “I told you so” are not the appropriate words here. Just silence and pass him a beer.

Now it kicks in for him that its over.

Now 6 weeks after she decided that she didn’t want to be with him and treated him like dirt.

6 WEEKS and she finally decides to let him into the “relationships over” loop.

SHE is out on the town, she has a new fella already and HE is only just getting the news.

Hopefully you have the balls to stand and take control, to deal with any behaviour that you don’t like before it gets this far.

Remember that you can live without her. Walk before its too late. Leave HER wondering WTF just happened.

This is just one example, but it is something I’ve seen time and time again.

NO.
Never be “On a break”.

If you ever hear these words, reply with

“Goodbye”

Then turn and walk away.

Peace.
 

rhythmic

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I think the most important thing for guys to take away from this is that when a girl indicates the end of a relationship, it's a done deal - the girl starts to detach whilst the relationship is still going on, often giving little or no indication of any problems.
 

VladPatton

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Very true. You just wanna hold on to that "good thing" that you had, but it vanished long before she rules a "break" sentence. You gotta have the balls to hit that shiny, red button labeled "Nuke It!" when she decided something like a break. It is not easy, it is not pleasant, and it is emotionally gut wrenching. But you must, in order to maintain a certain level of self-respect. In a few months you will beyond proud to look back and know you operated in the best, manliest manner. Hell, you may even earn additional respect from your social circle.
 

Uncharted

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Best thread I've read this week. Great part especially about the "never be on a break" because she's not thinking the same way. She knows it's already over.
 

JBB84

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As long as you leave the ball in her court she's going to feel "confused" and "unsure" of you. Take that sh!t back and walk. If she wants it she's going to have to come and get it now. No waiting around during a break - good deal.
 

Purefilth

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VladPatton said:
You just wanna hold on to that "good thing" that you had, but it vanished long before she rules a "break" sentence. You gotta have the balls to hit that shiny, red button labeled "Nuke It!" when she decided something like a break. It is not easy, it is not pleasant, and it is emotionally gut wrenching. But you must, in order to maintain a certain level of self-respect.
Exactly my point
 

nismo-4

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Simply put, your princess is in another castle. If you're spinning more plates, you'll be ok.

Be ready for a relationship to end at any time. Women crave attention and value, so stay up there. If she dumps you, just find another. Easier said than done, but take your shots. Judge's orders.

Case closed.
 

Zion

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The reason for which people cling to the 'brake' is because it gives a false illusion of hope. The dumped party is on the edge of a cliff just waiting to be pushed off.


You can either take your own leap of faith and learn if those wings can still fly , or linger long enough to see them completely destroyed - in which case you will end up crushed.


Anyway,the whole point of a brake is completely illogical.
"We need a brake for..." for what ? for me to have some time to replace your sorry ass while having an excuse to back it up !

No good can come of it. If your TV breaks , not turning it on for 2 weeks won't fix the problem. Hell,it will probably make it worse. And if someone offers you a brand new one for free what happens then ? You're obviously gonna invest more time and resource in trying to fix the old one. Because who wants a new and exciting flat-screen when you can just settle for one that's already broken.#sarcasm off.

The advice OP gives is solid. Don't just read over it , like his friend did - Act on it.
 

floydb25

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JBB84 said:
As long as you leave the ball in her court she's going to feel "confused" and "unsure" of you. Take that sh!t back and walk. If she wants it she's going to have to come and get it now. No waiting around during a break - good deal.
This is also why you don't chase, tell them they're the only one for you, act too relationshipy or interested, prove how genuine and loyal you are, etc. If you make it all about them, give them the control, and let them call the shots - they're going to take advantage of that. A lot of people fall into this trap by giving into their every demand, meeting their standards, settling for scraps, pursuing after being rejected, hanging onto false hope, etc, out of fear of not being good enough or losing them (even if they never actually had them).

That's why a lot of guys end up being manipulated, controlled, strung along, given excuses, and end up as doormats or orbiters or fall-back guys. They pretty much put themselves in these positions - out of desperation, fear, loneliness, low self-esteem, no self-respect, etc. Some girls will even try to connive you into giving them all the control - usually through abuse and manipulation.

You can't trust that someone is going to have your best intentions at heart, and has an interest in your feelings, desires, or being fair. Most will just walk over, control, define, and take advantage of you... if you let them. So, don't.
 

JohnChops

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Purefilth holding it down. This is what I kept trying to tell my buddy, "she said we're on a break...." I Said "man its over, forget about her and lets hit a club". He just wouldn't budge.

And lo and behold she had a new guy as well on her shoulder. Yeah you can't really take anything that women say to heart. Her actions = I don't want to be with you. Her words = I just want a break to freshen up our oh so good relationship. See the difference?

Good stuff Filth.
 

TillTheEndOfTime

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There have been previous threads on this topic. Basically, most people here will agree that the relationship was over long before she ever says anything about "taking a break" or even flat out breaking up with you.

The comments about the change in behavior are spot on. It always plays out that way. When the girl starts getting distant and moody with you for no reason, you are about to get dumped in a few weeks.
 

Purefilth

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nismo-4 said:
Simply put, your princess is in another castle. If you're spinning more plates, you'll be ok.

Be ready for a relationship to end at any time. Women crave attention and value, so stay up there. If she dumps you, just find another. Easier said than done, but take your shots. Judge's orders.

Case closed.
Not sure if his lordship, judge nismo-4 read the OP - It kinda looks like an automated response to the title:crackup:
All very true words though.

Cheers for the positive feedback lads - theres a lot of good points in this thread. Makes a nice change eh? :D

p.s. I posted it in tips too, but i figured it'd get seen more here. :up:
 

Naughty Ninja

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Purefilth said:
Not sure if his lordship, judge nismo-4 read the OP - It kinda looks like an automated response to the title:crackup:
All very true words though.

Cheers for the positive feedback lads - theres a lot of good points in this thread. Makes a nice change eh? :D

p.s. I posted it in tips too, but i figured it'd get seen more here. :up:

Filth this is literally no joke GOLD advice. I'd rep you again but I already have too soon.

If EVER a chick tells you you should take a break. You say NOTHING and take a PERMANENT one.

Straight up this is a sticky thread.
 

Purefilth

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Thanks, NN :D

I figured we see it enough as a question - if I make a post then I can just link it from now on without repeating myself :D


Incidentally - I had my own "lets take a break" from my ex LTR - she was so much fvcking drama.

Her reasons were that I dont appreciate her, and we should take a break so that I miss her and learn to appreciate her more.

I said. "No, We aren't taking a break. If you want a break - then goodbye."


She changed her mind.:crackup:

thats not the kind of "we need a break " that I normally see though. This was a rare Isolated incident.



Everything works differently when both YOU and HER know that YOU ARE THE PRIZE.

Your behaviour is acceptable to her because she doesnt want to lose you.

You can and WILL leave. THAT IS YOUR MOST VALUABLE "WEAPON / TOOL"
 

Naughty Ninja

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Purefilth said:
Thanks, NN :D

I figured we see it enough as a question - if I make a post then I can just link it from now on without repeating myself :D


Incidentally - I had my own "lets take a break" from my ex LTR - she was so much fvcking drama.

Her reasons were that I dont appreciate her, and we should take a break so that I miss her and learn to appreciate her more.

I said. "No, We aren't taking a break. If you want a break - then goodbye."


She changed her mind.:crackup:

thats not the kind of "we need a break " that I normally see though. This was a rare Isolated incident.



Everything works differently when both YOU and HER know that YOU ARE THE PRIZE.

Your behaviour is acceptable to her because she doesnt want to lose you.

You can and WILL leave. THAT IS YOUR MOST VALUABLE "WEAPON / TOOL"
Sh1t you don't need to thank me. You need to thank yourself. I wasn't the one to start this thread. I agree 110%. Fck that shizz. You hear that "we need a break". You take a permanent one. Period.
 

SamTheHobit

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Hustlaz Ambition said:
*claps* that's why you gotta keep side hoes.
Hahaha so true
 

buzzin_frog

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Well it's not too often I get to say this on here, but awesome advice Purefilth!!

Too bad there isn't more threads like this instead of these useless troll threads that goes on for several pages.

Let me just add that when she goes on "break" that is code for "break up" and during that break, she is talking to another guy to lock him up after she got rid of you. Then these guys wonder how they moved on so fast.
 

Atom Smasher

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If one more guy starts typing in all bold I'm going to blow up the entire forum, read up on Eckart Tolle and go moderate over at RSD!!
 

Naughty Ninja

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Atom Smasher said:
If one more guy starts typing in all bold I'm going to blow up the entire forum, read up on Eckart Tolle and go moderate over at RSD!!

Leave my alt's out of your hurtful attacks on me.

On a side note: A queer deer walks out of a gay bar..He says: Damn! I just blew fifty Bucks!

Thank you thank you. I'll be here all week!
 
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