what do women want out of online dating?

"hi how are you? i like your profile and you seem really cool. lets meet up for a drink sometime."

vs.

"have you been naughty or nice this year? im bet you been naughty. you need a spanking."

the first method usually gets no response. the second one either "fvck you as$hole pervert!" or "what?" or no response.
i know the looks thing is a huge part, but besides that what is it they really want to hear? ive sent the first message then the second to the same women.
if they dont want to respond to the first message, why do they bother to respond to the perverted one and with such distaste? if they dont want return a polite message, why do they take time out of their day to insult me for being a little ballsy?
i could care less i think its funny. i want to understand the psychology of the whole thing. i did get one or two to play along but not for long. my reasoning is if theyre gonna ignore me i might as well send hilarious messages.

You are right that it is dependent on the looks thing. If the females found you attractive they would respond positively regardless of which message you sent. That's why what you say is almost meaningless.

The reason they respond albeit negatively to the flirtatious message and don't respond at all to the normal message is because women take offense to the very idea of men they are not attractive to conveying any sexuality. Women believe if an unattractive man tries to express sexuality, then they have a licenses to respond to him harshly.

Women believe they have the right and duty to opress the sexuality of men they are not attracted to.

Stagger Lee said:

Women believe they have the right and duty to opress the sexuality of men they are not attracted to.

Click to expand...

very intelligent comment

And so few men get it

In 2012...with women: ITS ALL ABOUT LOOKS

Men think women like to give 'challenges'

they don't...if they like you, you will know in 10 seconds.....then they will play around with you with verbal banter...but that look in her eye

if its not there in 10-15 seconds

move on

a woman is not a videogame....you win or lose in the first few seconds

in the first one there is no emotional thing so they dont response
in the second one there is some thing emotional , you are calling them slVts , so they revenge by insulting you .
women online look for some sexy men to have sex with them , they also look for boyfriend upgrade .
some look for lonely rich men

well i am a fairly attractive guy. tall and athletic. im not much above average though in my own perception. ive had some girls give me 8 out of 10. in the online world i guess im below average.

Burroughs said:

very intelligent comment

And so few men get it

In 2012...with women: ITS ALL ABOUT LOOKS

Men think women like to give 'challenges'

they don't...if they like you, you will know in 10 seconds.....then they will play around with you with verbal banter...but that look in her eye

if its not there in 10-15 seconds

move on

a woman is not a videogame....you win or lose in the first few seconds

Click to expand...

I really like this ^^^^^ Been doing a lot of cold approaching in the malls, stores etc and you can tell literally within 10 seconds if a girl is interested or not. Really works by going by this!!!

I have been getting a lot of numbers on POF, but it took me a solid week straight to get down a good ice breaker. Like Naughty Ninja's guideline it is ALL about your photos. I happen to be very athletic and I know I am good looking. (not being a ****y jackass just being honest)

This one has been a SCORE for me recently:

"There's something very special about you. I noticed 
you the second I first saw you. You're more than just attractive. There's 
something very unique and original about your look. Whats your name? I'm XYZ =)"

Then honestly its ALL ON THEM. I always get a "Thats so sweet of you I'm Kelly" or "Do you say that to all the girls"

Then you just come back with "I wrote that just for you ;P so whats your name?" or whatever, you gotta be creative.

Write something that makes them feel special. Then if you get a response, then pick something out of there profile and say "You know I love horse backing riding, maybe you can teach me sometime ;P can you dance Salsa?"

I pick things I know I am good at, like dancing, whatever so if you actually get to the date you can back up what you said.

All about being creative, and put your BEST DAMN PICTURES up. If you don't have the best body, rock a photo of you dressed in a suit, something that looks real good.

Stagger Lee said:

Women believe they have the right and duty to opress the sexuality of men they are not attracted to.

Click to expand...

Reality bites! +1 for you! I love what Burroughs said too, as always.

A man's online dating profile is only as strong as its WORST picture.

Women want the best looking men on online dating.

Case closed.

spang said:

i know the looks thing is a huge part, but besides that what is it they really want to hear?

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Bro that's it, there is no besides that. For a girl, unless he looks good, a guy going online to get laid or find a gf can mean he has no social value, and she wants nothing to do with that, no emails or anything of the sort. That's why a guy she is not attracted to is mauled when he gets sexual online. "He doesn't look good, has no value, no one knows him, and he thinks he can sexual with me? I have to protect my ego and crush him!"

Women harshly shutting down men they are not attracted is expected, you can't get upset at that. It's like applying to be the CEO of Coke or an NFL quarterback, they are not going to say "no thank you" they are going to say "go to hell". It's to protect themselves.

It's the way the market is so look your best at times.

Here is a big difference between men and women:

If a chick isn't attractive to us, it's nothing personal. For example, we generally don't "hate" fat women. (Unless shes really mean or cawkblocks.). Most guys would at least be polite to an unattractive female.

Women, on the other hand, RESENT men they aren't attracted to. With them, it IS personal. Not only must Mr. Unattractive not associate with HER and her friends, she will get pissed off if she finds out some other woman wants you.

I purposely told one of the guys in my circle about when I hooked up with that teacher lady knowing he would tell the females (who find me "not hot"). I did it on purpose .

A couple weeks later, the chicks are still not talking to me. Haha.

Mike32ct said:

Here is a big difference between men and women:

If a chick isn't attractive to us, it's nothing personal. For example, we generally don't "hate" fat women. Most guys would at least be polite to an unattractive female.

Women, on the other have, RESENT men they aren't attracted to. With them, it IS personal. Not only must Mr. Unattractive not associate with HER and her friends, she will get pissed off if she finds out some other woman wants you.

Click to expand...

Wise as usual Mike, not sh1t about it most of your posts are spot on.

I believe the only form of real true widespread racism is the one from women to unattractive low status men, its not hate in the sense of desire for physical violence, its more like disgust that you push them given the ability to simply remove that person as human for such environment.

Imagine a a basket of cherries in which one of those has a color slightly paler than others so you take that particular cherry and remove it, most women would do the same thing in their work place or classroom or social circle to such kind of men, they would probably not even realize its wrong, they would in fact be annoyed if asked the reason of that, they wouldnt even aknowledge such man as an individual with feelings or sensitivity.

When we guys see some unattractive girl we dont, we dont like her body not her as a person and if we see that she suffers from being rejected over and over, we feel some empathy and try to avoid making her feel like sh1t again.

Girls would probably just make fun of a similar guy with indirect or even direct jokes among each other, as if such individual is an object more than a person.

In all my life I never heard guys making fun of fat or ugly girls even close to girls making fun of guys outside the "preselected" group.

spang said:

well i am a fairly attractive guy. tall and athletic. im not much above average though in my own perception. ive had some girls give me 8 out of 10. in the online world i guess im below average.

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I posted a survey that OKC did and it found that women rated 80% of men as "below average" in looks online. How is that possible?

It only reinforces what I have been saying for a long time. Men drop 2-3 points on the looks scale when you do online dating. The reason is a mixture of women online having even more ridiculous expectations and the fact that there are several men for every women doing online dating. So they have a lot of choice and can be extra picky.

If you think you're a 8/10, online you're about a 6 at best.

PairPlusRoyalFlush I have a relative that's about 5'7" said:

there are women that would never look at him twice b/c if his height(not many though)[/B].

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I don't know what "not many" means, but I guarantee that 30% of women won't look at him twice cause of height. That is a conservative estimate.

That's quite a bit. I got that number from personal experience. And I'm taller than him.

They'll ignore both messages because they receive dozens if not hundreds of messages that are nearly identical

The two most popular messages they receive are along the lines of 1) "hi" -- which is boring and not original or interesting, and 2) "let's have sex" -- which is equally boring and uninteresting and after getting this message from enough guys its a big turnoff

Try the mom/roommate opener

spang said:

"hi how are you? i like your profile and you seem really cool. lets meet up for a drink sometime."

vs.

"have you been naughty or nice this year? im bet you been naughty. you need a spanking."

the first method usually gets no response. the second one either "fvck you as$hole pervert!" or "what?" or no response.
i know the looks thing is a huge part, but besides that what is it they really want to hear? ive sent the first message then the second to the same women.
if they dont want to respond to the first message, why do they bother to respond to the perverted one and with such distaste? if they dont want return a polite message, why do they take time out of their day to insult me for being a little ballsy?
i could care less i think its funny. i want to understand the psychology of the whole thing. i did get one or two to play along but not for long. my reasoning is if theyre gonna ignore me i might as well send hilarious messages.

Click to expand...

It's amazing how a guy's looks improves dramatically when they get in an expensive sports car.

spang said:

"hi how are you? i like your profile and you seem really cool. lets meet up for a drink sometime."

vs.

"have you been naughty or nice this year? im bet you been naughty. you need a spanking."

the first method usually gets no response. the second one either "fvck you as$hole pervert!" or "what?" or no response.
i know the looks thing is a huge part, but besides that what is it they really want to hear? ive sent the first message then the second to the same women.
if they dont want to respond to the first message, why do they bother to respond to the perverted one and with such distaste? if they dont want return a polite message, why do they take time out of their day to insult me for being a little ballsy?
i could care less i think its funny. i want to understand the psychology of the whole thing. i did get one or two to play along but not for long. my reasoning is if theyre gonna ignore me i might as well send hilarious messages.

Click to expand...

As far as I can see, the psychology of it is this:

The problem with the first one is you're kind of asking for a commitment to meet before she has any real sense of who you are. You'd be better picking something out of her profile to get a conversation going, a shared interest or something. That way she knows you actually bothered to read it, and you're not just copy/pasting messages out.

The problem with the second one is probably pretty obvious really.. You get responses to that and not the other one because people are always more gobby when they're annoyed/insulted.

Looks aren't as big as you might think. Don't let that idea bite at you too much, it's not healthy.

incognito42 said:

Try the mom/roommate opener

Click to expand...

The best opener is being good looking & built. It blows the above opener out of the water.

Mike32ct said:

Here is a big difference between men and women:

If a chick isn't attractive to us, it's nothing personal. For example, we generally don't "hate" fat women. (Unless shes really mean or cawkblocks.). Most guys would at least be polite to an unattractive female.

Women, on the other hand, RESENT men they aren't attracted to. With them, it IS personal. Not only must Mr. Unattractive not associate with HER and her friends, she will get pissed off if she finds out some other woman wants you.

I purposely told one of the guys in my circle about when I hooked up with that teacher lady knowing he would tell the females (who find me "not hot"). I did it on purpose .

A couple weeks later, the chicks are still not talking to me. Haha.

Click to expand...

Truth. They also try to tarnish your rep, and sabotage your intentions with anyone you come across. Simply because they dont like you - no one else in the history of the universe is allowed to. Ever. And, they WILL bad-mouth you, and put in a negative word for you... For no reason. They either desire you, or loathe you. Or both, depending on how they feel about you at the time.

Many will want to become your friend - simply so they can bring you down, and help you fail. No positive energy will EVER come from them.

The types who do this tend to be immature, insecure, of low self esteem... The *****es. They must always have their way, and be right about everything - even if using force to make it so. Their opinion is always correct, and everyone must agree. Simply because they said so. They must always have their hand in everything. And, they judge these measures by their perceived status of them. They also have a superiority complex, and must always be one-up on everyone at all times. Theyre also fake and obsessed with status; categorizing people by superficial means. And they're straight up bullies.

These people are garbage. If you get the unfortunate opportunity of getting to know them - they are horribly insecure, miserable, and fake - with a history of rejection, failure, etc. This is how they become this way. They love to see other people fail, and are HUGE haters.

This is both men and women, though. I dealt with these types a LOT when I lived up north, in the city environment. It was all about status, competition, and ego - and this was the result. Even befriended and dated a bunch of them. Gah. :cuss:

I'm not sure where you guys get the idea that women only care about looks in online dating... **** applies to a lot of women in real life, too. Unattractive guys get ignored, rejected, shunned, laughed at, considered losers, clingers, and creeps; sent to the FZ to be used... While good looking, high status guys get all the action.

I know, because I've been both during different periods, and had a different variety of friends who were of both extremes. It was like living in two different realities. There isnt much of a grey area. Either you're hot and they want sex (boyfriend be damned), or you're unattractive and they want nothing to do with you. Or, if they do, you're not a high priority. Personality has **** to do with it.

Even going further - you're only desirable for as long as you can keep them hot and bothered; intrigued and excited. So, even if you are hot, if you're not keeping their emotions and anticipation on high, you'll still be discarded and deregulated like nothing. This is even worse if you're dealing with a high class ***** - due to their rediculously high standards in everything.

Its all about how they view you (via looks and status), and make them feel (via game and action). And they run off those two things in everything. This is why they'll complain about the bad boy to the nice guy. They dont care about the NG. At all. They only care about their own wants and feelings. Thats why everything they complain about pertains to themselves. Fairness be damned.

This is why you also end up with a truckload of hypocrisy, double standards, and etc. Its all about them. NGs are just wasting their time analyzing everything... It all comes down to simple selfishness and shallow emotions. Not unlike the BGs they seek after... THEYRE ONE AND THE SAME.

Theres no love, care, relationship-type stuff in any of this. This is the wrong mindset to have. Too many guys look down this path, and assume the best out of women - during their over-analysation periods. Likely because the women are feeding their minds with appropriate crap to save face. Dont buy it; focus on the facts.

But again, certain kind of women... The same ones who also flood the online dating scene. So, still a connection there. Trash.

Theres a lot of shallow people out there - who try to be perceived as good, or as you assume them to be.

^^ floyd, wtf!! why you always make so much sense!? lol. I can't rep you anymore, lol.

Who Dares Win said:

Wise as usual Mike, not sh1t about it most of your posts are spot on.

I believe the only form of real true widespread racism is the one from women to unattractive low status men, its not hate in the sense of desire for physical violence, its more like disgust that you push them given the ability to simply remove that person as human for such environment.

Click to expand...

You are totally right that women's discrimination against men (based on looksism, ageism and status) is the true widespread prejudice/bigotry/discrimination/sexism.

The reason is because women don't just deny friendship and sexual relations with unattractive men they discriminate against. They would be within their right to do that as shallow and unfair as that is. No, women think men who they are not attracted to should have no employment, rights, status or freedoms. If it were totally up to women, men they are not attracted to would be lower than a slave in the 1800's, even a total outcast from all of society.

Women's discrimination and hatred against men they are not attracted to goes way beyond denying romantic relationships. It extends to economic opportunity and social standing.

Not that men are protected from women discriminating against them in employment anyway, but certainly not protected from discrimination based on looksism.

And the worst part is a man doesn't have to be ugly, or old or have an objectively bad personality to be loathed by super-hypergamous women. You can be 2-3 rungs better looking than the woman but because you're only a L6 and not an L8, you don't qualify as a person.

Now it is clear why for most of history women were not entrusted with power or status over men. Women are tyrants with no native sense of fairness and right and wrong, and its a bad thing giving them power. At least if they're going to be afforded ruling relationships with an iron hand, they shouldn't be allowed to control economics and commerce matters too.