FantasPT
Don Juan
Hello to everybody 
And first of all I just wanna say that this is probably going to be a big text so, sorry if it becomes boring, but I want to explain everything, so that you all can understand, and hopefully help me.
So there's this girl in my class, that I really love, but many things happened and I don't know what to do anymore, ok so before I start telling the story of what happened, I just wanna say that, the girl in question is 4 years younger than me, I'm 18, and she's 14, her mentality is still very childhood compared to mine, she is very supple (I don't know if this word is right, what I want to say is that she follows what other people say, instead of doing what she wants) , and I have two very big problems, I have rage and anxiety issues, if I get to the extreme (and in my current condition is very easy to make me go to the extreme) and I can't control myself, well let's just say that I will do something very bad, I could've ruined my life acouple of years ago because of this, I'm 1,82cm tall and I work out, so I have some muscle, so I'm a little afraid of what I can do
So it all started in March, this girl is my class (I'm in the 9 grade now, and when this all started I was in the 8 grade) that I never had any kind of relationship with her, but I started to feel some kind of feeling for her, so with the motivation of my best friend Moreira, I went and I started to hang out with her, I sat down next to her in every class (in Portugal the classrooms have a big table with to chairs, so there can be two people for table), I started to become friend with her and then I started to realize that what I felt for her was more than friendship, and two months later when my friendship with her was more advanced, I told her how I felt about her, that I loved her, then she seed that she still liked some Brazilian dude that was in school but then he left for Brazil ( she always likes some other person, before this guy she liked some other dude from my class in the 7 grade, but then he changed school, she seed to Moreira, that she never would like some other person, the way she liked that guy, then she tells me that she likes this Brazilian guy and that she can't like another person), but even so I didn't give up and I did everything i could to spend time with her, and I did many things to demonstrate my feelings for her, in classes I started do put my arm around her waist and I would spend entire classes hugging her with that arm, I kissed her in the cheek many times, in reassess I would do the same,
Then school was over, and in the first two weeks of summer I started to go like almost every day to her house to spend time, with her, and then things got more personal, in her house she would let me hug her, kiss her in the neck, cheeks, and her chest, and bite her a little bit, things like that, then she left to Algarve to spend the summer there, (we live in Lisboa) before she is gone to Algarve I got the courage and I kissed her, I was her first kiss, while she was there, she still tells me the same story, that she like the other guy, blá blá blá, then I finally tell her that if it is like that, it's better that I stop talking with her, that it's better that I leave her alone, that she doesn't need me, but then she tells me that there is some possibility, that she doesn't feel only friendship for me anymore, that she feels something stronger, and that she doesn't want me to leave her, but then while she was there, she tells me something happened, that she is changed, that she doesn't feel anything anymore, she had this problem too, that she cuts herself in the wrists, but I was able to make her stop doing that, I was like the person that knew everything about her, then I diced not to give up, when she finally comes back, she doesn't want to see me.
Then when school starts, she doesn't let me be whit her, she gets away from my, then when we finally talk, she tells me that she only wants friendship, that she likes another guy (that from what her friends told me, he only wants to get advantage from her, he only wants to f**k her) then I tell her that I don't want only friendship, then some weeks later, we talk, and I tell her that in order for us to be friends, she needs to spend some time with me, that I don't want friendship by phone and facebook, she tells me ok, but I can't hug her or touch her because my touch is different, because I like her, then we argued a lot, and then she starts to like a guy that is 18 years old, is name is Patrick, that has come to our class, I tell her that I want her to be happy but that guy isn't good , because he only wants to f**k her, he is that kind of guy that tries to have all the girls, and he starts to have a more intimate relationship with her, telling her that he likes her and blá blá blá, and at the same time he gets more intimate with another girls from our class, then I tell her that he isn't good, and we start to have a discussion, where I tell her that when her mentality grows, then we will talk again, and she said that I say that I love her but that I'm after another girl from our class (she says this because I started to have a good friendship with a new girl that also came to our class, but the only thing I want from this girl is friendship)
Then a friend of hers tells me that she is saying that she isn't his girlfriend because of me, and that Patrick is saying that he isn't her boyfriend because is scared of me, and then I talk with her, and I tell her not to make excuses using me, and then I talk with him and I tell him the same thing, and he starts to say, that he doesn't have a love relationship because of other thing, and that Leandra knows the reason, and I tell him that I don't wanna know,and I warn him not to use me has an excuse, my friend Moreira, still tells me that deep down in her heart, she likes me, but that I should be patient, and try to calm myself, that what has to be mine, will come to me, but then there are two guys from my class that are like Patrick in the way that they try to have all the girls because what they want is to f**k girls, they start to grab her in the butt, and they start to get more intimate with her, the reason they didn't do that when I was with her, was because they where scared of me, because I gave a warning to one of then, a violent warning, for they to stay away from her, but Patrick doesn't really likes her, and he doesn't care if they do this kind of stuff to her, he even is friends with them, now me and Leandra, well we are starting to talk again, because I dislocated my shoulder last week, and she asked me if I was better, and well we just started to talk, then I came up with a plan, to have a good relationship with her again, and maker her see who Patrick really is.
In the day that I dislocated my shoulder I went to the hospital, my buddy Moreira stayed in school and he told me that Leandra was passing by with two friends and she was saying that I was right about Patrick, because in school he is never with her, because I doesn't want other people (girls) to see that he is in a relationship, but she is still with in, and she says that she loves in, and he says that he loves her, and today one of those guys that only want f**k girls, started to hug her in class, and this one is sitting next to her in every class, and when I saw this I realized that I can't only be her friend, that I'm not going to be able to be with her in school, and not hug her and tell her what I feel for her >:'(
I know you all may think that I'm going to say next is not true, but I feel like that for every day that passes I love her more <3 :'(
And being away from her, not being able to be at her side, not being able to tell her my feelings now, and not being able to hug and kiss her now, and she having a relationship with this guy and the other motherf***ers trying to f**k her, all of this is killing me inside, it is causing me to have even more rage, to the point that thinking about it is reason enough for me to start to explode from rage.
I know that Patrick is going to hurt her.
I don't care about other girls, I only care about her, I only want her <3 :''(
I need advice, I need someone to tell me if it is worth not to give up, if I should wait and whit time things will work out, or if I should give up.
The biggest problem is that I still have hope and I really love her...
I don't know what to do, I'm an really in bad situation, this thing is killking me inside, is tearing my heart even more apart, it is screwing up my whole head down, now you understand why I told you about my rage and anxiety problems
To all of you that had enough patience to read all of this, THANK YOU , and I hope someone can help me
And first of all I just wanna say that this is probably going to be a big text so, sorry if it becomes boring, but I want to explain everything, so that you all can understand, and hopefully help me.
So there's this girl in my class, that I really love, but many things happened and I don't know what to do anymore, ok so before I start telling the story of what happened, I just wanna say that, the girl in question is 4 years younger than me, I'm 18, and she's 14, her mentality is still very childhood compared to mine, she is very supple (I don't know if this word is right, what I want to say is that she follows what other people say, instead of doing what she wants) , and I have two very big problems, I have rage and anxiety issues, if I get to the extreme (and in my current condition is very easy to make me go to the extreme) and I can't control myself, well let's just say that I will do something very bad, I could've ruined my life acouple of years ago because of this, I'm 1,82cm tall and I work out, so I have some muscle, so I'm a little afraid of what I can do
So it all started in March, this girl is my class (I'm in the 9 grade now, and when this all started I was in the 8 grade) that I never had any kind of relationship with her, but I started to feel some kind of feeling for her, so with the motivation of my best friend Moreira, I went and I started to hang out with her, I sat down next to her in every class (in Portugal the classrooms have a big table with to chairs, so there can be two people for table), I started to become friend with her and then I started to realize that what I felt for her was more than friendship, and two months later when my friendship with her was more advanced, I told her how I felt about her, that I loved her, then she seed that she still liked some Brazilian dude that was in school but then he left for Brazil ( she always likes some other person, before this guy she liked some other dude from my class in the 7 grade, but then he changed school, she seed to Moreira, that she never would like some other person, the way she liked that guy, then she tells me that she likes this Brazilian guy and that she can't like another person), but even so I didn't give up and I did everything i could to spend time with her, and I did many things to demonstrate my feelings for her, in classes I started do put my arm around her waist and I would spend entire classes hugging her with that arm, I kissed her in the cheek many times, in reassess I would do the same,
Then school was over, and in the first two weeks of summer I started to go like almost every day to her house to spend time, with her, and then things got more personal, in her house she would let me hug her, kiss her in the neck, cheeks, and her chest, and bite her a little bit, things like that, then she left to Algarve to spend the summer there, (we live in Lisboa) before she is gone to Algarve I got the courage and I kissed her, I was her first kiss, while she was there, she still tells me the same story, that she like the other guy, blá blá blá, then I finally tell her that if it is like that, it's better that I stop talking with her, that it's better that I leave her alone, that she doesn't need me, but then she tells me that there is some possibility, that she doesn't feel only friendship for me anymore, that she feels something stronger, and that she doesn't want me to leave her, but then while she was there, she tells me something happened, that she is changed, that she doesn't feel anything anymore, she had this problem too, that she cuts herself in the wrists, but I was able to make her stop doing that, I was like the person that knew everything about her, then I diced not to give up, when she finally comes back, she doesn't want to see me.
Then when school starts, she doesn't let me be whit her, she gets away from my, then when we finally talk, she tells me that she only wants friendship, that she likes another guy (that from what her friends told me, he only wants to get advantage from her, he only wants to f**k her) then I tell her that I don't want only friendship, then some weeks later, we talk, and I tell her that in order for us to be friends, she needs to spend some time with me, that I don't want friendship by phone and facebook, she tells me ok, but I can't hug her or touch her because my touch is different, because I like her, then we argued a lot, and then she starts to like a guy that is 18 years old, is name is Patrick, that has come to our class, I tell her that I want her to be happy but that guy isn't good , because he only wants to f**k her, he is that kind of guy that tries to have all the girls, and he starts to have a more intimate relationship with her, telling her that he likes her and blá blá blá, and at the same time he gets more intimate with another girls from our class, then I tell her that he isn't good, and we start to have a discussion, where I tell her that when her mentality grows, then we will talk again, and she said that I say that I love her but that I'm after another girl from our class (she says this because I started to have a good friendship with a new girl that also came to our class, but the only thing I want from this girl is friendship)
Then a friend of hers tells me that she is saying that she isn't his girlfriend because of me, and that Patrick is saying that he isn't her boyfriend because is scared of me, and then I talk with her, and I tell her not to make excuses using me, and then I talk with him and I tell him the same thing, and he starts to say, that he doesn't have a love relationship because of other thing, and that Leandra knows the reason, and I tell him that I don't wanna know,and I warn him not to use me has an excuse, my friend Moreira, still tells me that deep down in her heart, she likes me, but that I should be patient, and try to calm myself, that what has to be mine, will come to me, but then there are two guys from my class that are like Patrick in the way that they try to have all the girls because what they want is to f**k girls, they start to grab her in the butt, and they start to get more intimate with her, the reason they didn't do that when I was with her, was because they where scared of me, because I gave a warning to one of then, a violent warning, for they to stay away from her, but Patrick doesn't really likes her, and he doesn't care if they do this kind of stuff to her, he even is friends with them, now me and Leandra, well we are starting to talk again, because I dislocated my shoulder last week, and she asked me if I was better, and well we just started to talk, then I came up with a plan, to have a good relationship with her again, and maker her see who Patrick really is.
In the day that I dislocated my shoulder I went to the hospital, my buddy Moreira stayed in school and he told me that Leandra was passing by with two friends and she was saying that I was right about Patrick, because in school he is never with her, because I doesn't want other people (girls) to see that he is in a relationship, but she is still with in, and she says that she loves in, and he says that he loves her, and today one of those guys that only want f**k girls, started to hug her in class, and this one is sitting next to her in every class, and when I saw this I realized that I can't only be her friend, that I'm not going to be able to be with her in school, and not hug her and tell her what I feel for her >:'(
I know you all may think that I'm going to say next is not true, but I feel like that for every day that passes I love her more <3 :'(
And being away from her, not being able to be at her side, not being able to tell her my feelings now, and not being able to hug and kiss her now, and she having a relationship with this guy and the other motherf***ers trying to f**k her, all of this is killing me inside, it is causing me to have even more rage, to the point that thinking about it is reason enough for me to start to explode from rage.
I know that Patrick is going to hurt her.
I don't care about other girls, I only care about her, I only want her <3 :''(
I need advice, I need someone to tell me if it is worth not to give up, if I should wait and whit time things will work out, or if I should give up.
The biggest problem is that I still have hope and I really love her...
I don't know what to do, I'm an really in bad situation, this thing is killking me inside, is tearing my heart even more apart, it is screwing up my whole head down, now you understand why I told you about my rage and anxiety problems
To all of you that had enough patience to read all of this, THANK YOU
, and I hope someone can help me
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