I could view it NO PROBLEM, this is what it said
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As it has been a while since I have talked about race, recently I talked to many well traveled PUA students, players who have traveled a lot and done this for years, guys from SimplePickUp, and even some sociologists. I myself have had experiences dealing with race and dating so I felt the need to share.
So many in PUA are aware of the “Totem Pole of Racial Attractiveness” posted by a PUA that claims he has nailed women everywhere. Personally, I oppose the whole thing but not for the reasons you might think.
In the world of attraction, does a totem pole of attractive races exist?
The sad reality is yes it does. Even if a person finds you attractive but due to cultural reasons (race and religion being the main ones) there is incompatibility, society will pressure them to say no to you. Sadly enough, people are misled by media and that results in race mattering in attraction, initially. We are not attracted to all races equally, we prefer some nationalities and ethnic groups over others if all else is equal, that is just pure fact.
So that must mean whoever posted the Totem Pole of Racial Attractiveness was spot on right?
No. The thing about it all is that there are no absolutes. Women are different everywhere just as cultural trends, fashion trends, and all that differ across all areas within the US and of course internationally. A girl in Texas will not have the same taste in men as a girl in California. In California, a girl in Santa Monica will not like the same kind of men as a girl in Oakland. So overall, the whole totem pole was an egregious post not because it said race matters, but because it said there is an absolute standard throughout America and the world.
Now with the questions answered we proceed.
Location does play a role. Darell is a friend of mines who was born in Los Angeles, California and went to college there as well. In California, he enjoyed women loving him because he is Black and said in some cases he attributes him being Black to getting girls who were “curious”. Later on he moved to South Carolina where he admits he struggled with women who were not Black, most White women would not date him and neither would the few Asian women down there. Ironically, his friend Kim (a Korean male) managed to date two attractive Blondes when he lived in Charleston. Being Asian in the deep south was more so of an exotic factor rather than an “uncool” geek factor. On the flip side, you hear stories from Asian men talking about how they are struggling in California. It has been noted many times that Asian men (whether they are Indian, Chinese, Japanese, or Korean) do much better in Europe than they do here in the US. Many Asian friends of mines have reported having higher success rate in countries like France and Sweden, many times women said they were interested about the idea of dating one. With the exception of England (where negative stereotypes about Indians exist), women all across Western Europe love Asian men (East Asians may do better than Indians but both groups do well). On the other hand, Middle Eastern and Arabic men are not too liked.
For women it is also another story. While American men (mainly White males here) are not that attracted to Black women, a lot of European men love them. I have run into Italian men who love Black American women and find them to be gorgeous.
So while being a certain race or ethnicity might be an advantage in one area, in another area it turns into a disadvantage. EXCEPT if you are White.
White males and females enjoy a relatively good status everywhere in the world. In European countries, White men are loved (obvious), in some Latin American and Asian countries they are loved even more. Same with White females. Now White men won’t be at the top of the totem pole in every country but there aren’t many countries where being a White will work against you. Maybe it is media, maybe it is colonialism, whatever it is, being White is rarely a disadvantage.
Is there a runner up after White people? No, maybe White looking Latinos like Messi and Cameron Diaz but I consider them White by appearance. After Whites, it is literally a web for second place.
So what can be done to climb to the top of the totem pole if you are somehow perceived to be one of the less attractive races in an area?
Certain traits of cultures make them attractive to people in other cultures. The extrovert attitude of the Italians is loved in America so as a result Italian men have a good reputation here. The introvert and serious attitude may not pay off in dating so men who come from cultures which have that attitudes tend to struggle. Just getting more in touch with the local culture can go a long way.
In some countries like the US, racial attractiveness comes from media stereotypes. Latin guys are perceived as being spicy lovers, women love them. Asian guys are perceived as being geeks, women find them less attractive. In most Western countries, it is fairly easy for men of all colors to climb at the top. As my friend, a dating coach of Irish, German, and Norwegian descent said, “I am kidding myself if I think I can get more vag than Mohinder from Heroes”. Mohinder is a character played by Indian American actor Sendhil Ramamurthy, my friend is a 6 ft White male with Black hair and blue eys. In fact, I have seen ripped Asian men receive more attention than ripped men of other races simply because women are caught off guard by an Asian guy that is ripped. Things like money, game, attitude, connections, and all that will easily make someone at the bottom of the totem pole climb to the top in most developed countries.
In less developed countries like ones in Eastern Europe or Latin America, the climb becomes difficult or nearly impossible. Although there might be a small number of women who see you as exotic rather than an outsider and that will help. An Indian guy I talked to went to the Ukraine for the Euro 2012 and managed to score a one night stand with a local woman there. A lot of his friends were amazed by it but they witnessed it happen, one was rooming with him at a hotel.
Being fit, stylish, having a decent amount of money, and an outgoing personality will get you dates regardless of your race.
Although there is a totem pole, it is never really exact. If there ever was a ranking, it would go like this.
1. White
2. Not White
To say Turkish men are more desirable than African American men is an unaccredited statement.
Race is just too complex of a subject for us to put ranks around.
As we can see here, racial desirability varies across the board:
http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/your-race-affects-whether-people-write-you-back/
Asian men in this link below being desired in France
http://goldsea.com/Features/Parisasians/parisasians.html
Indian men in this link below being praised
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/andrea-miller/dating-advice-how-to-date_b_596496.html
With special thanks to Darell, Kim, Miguel, Dave, SimplePickUp, Radam, and Charles for providing information for this post.
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