What am I supposed to say?

I am about to enter a very strange situation tomorrow and I was hoping you could help me figure out the best action to take.

I work at a large company where many of us are about the same age. One of my peers is leaving the company and sent out a mass e-mail saying she is hosting a "good bye party" at a big bar nearby - we're all invited and welcome. Predictably, a lot of us are going, even though several of us don't know her really well (myself included).

A few days ago, one of her friends (we'll call her HB) creates this "going away party" as an event on facebook. HB has acted a little strange towards me in the past - sometimes she is really nice/cool/flirty, other times she blatantly ignores me. I don't get it, but whatever. Anyway, HB creates the event on facebook as a public/open event, but starts handing out invites. She didn't send me one, but one of my friends quickly invited me. I RSVP'ed, that should be the end of it. But no. I discovered that, although I RSVP'ed, HB blocked me from the public event on the site.

Don't worry, I still plan on going. Unless crazy HB hired a bouncer to personally keep me out of the bar, nothing is going to stop that. But my question is, how am I supposed to act when I run into her? Yes there will be other people there, but I already know the confrontation will happen in one way or another.

I'm guessing the best thing to do is to act the same way I normally do - upbeat, personable, etc. Pretend I didn't even notice her immature act. But I wanted to see if there were any better suggestions. I don't do the "silent" thing well, so maybe this is best? In a perfect world, I'd want to make a subtle remark suggesting her immaturity, but "taking the high road" is probably smarter.

Remember, this crazy HB went through 150 invited people, singled me out and is unsuccessfully trying to "block" me. She knows that I know the event is happening, I don't understand it.

I think you're missing out a huge portion of the story. There has to be a reason why she would not invite you to her party.

If I were you, I wouldn't even go.

You've p1ssed her off somehow. Simple as. You may not know how, but you have. Or she may be some fvcked up vendetta mental case.

You definitely should go. Leaving girl has invited you and it isn't up to psycho HB to stop you. Just go and if HB approaches you, call her up on it but with a smile to diffuse any sh1tstorm. "Sorry, but I couldn't let your deliberately evil attempt to exclude me from sending off <leaving girl>, my colleagues would never forgive me!"

Job done.

umm WHAT DID YOU DO???

you pissed her off, you know you did, everyone knows what they did wrong, because women are so vocal when theyre b!tching about behind your back!

Heh im kidding... kinda

SeymourCake said:

I think you're missing out a huge portion of the story. There has to be a reason why she would not invite you to her party.

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Purefilth said:

umm WHAT DID YOU DO???

you pissed her off, you know you did, everyone knows what they did wrong, because women are so vocal when theyre b!tching about behind your back!

Heh im kidding... kinda

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Skalioppe said:

You've p1ssed her off somehow. Simple as. You may not know how, but you have. Or she may be some fvcked up vendetta mental case.

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PureFilth and Skialioppe pretty much answer SemourCake's question. I have no idea how I may have pissed her off.

Skalioppe said:

You definitely should go. Leaving girl has invited you and it isn't up to psycho HB to stop you. Just go and if HB approaches you, call her up on it but with a smile to diffuse any sh1tstorm. "Sorry, but I couldn't let your deliberately evil attempt to exclude me from sending off <leaving girl>, my colleagues would never forgive me!"

Job done.

Click to expand...

I could use a line like that perhaps. Though I don't believe she would "attack" or start freaking out in the confrontation. I'm the more vocal one out of the two of us; she'd probably just stare and say "oh...hi?" or something.

Nothing was unpredictable:
-She blocked me, that is a fact. She gave everyone else a key word to avoid a cover charge that I inevitably paid. But I got into the bar no problem.
-I maintained a moral to keep my mouth shut for most of my party. Some of our mutual friends didn't feel the same way. They gave her some playful crap about her immaturity even though I wasn't "for" it.
-Two of her best friends don't share her animosity. One of them admitted that I'm a good guy that HB just has "some problem" with, the girl who was hosting the party - her other good friend - gave me a hug.
-Skalioppe, I said something similar to what you suggested as I was leaving. She wanted no part of it, but didn't say anything combative.

Maybe it's the alcohol in me, but it's time to rock the boat. I won't completely b*tch her out - that's not me - but I may say that it's time to grow up. We have a lot of the same friends and it's going to get awkward if the passive-agressive games continue. I'd prefer she just tell me what's up; that usually works better.

EDIT: I sent her a brief, polite note (she can twist as many words as she wants, but I don't attack her once the entire time - I get to the point). If she has a problem, just let me know. I won't flip out. I want us to be on good terms because we know the same people. When our mutual friends come to me saying they can tell there's tension, something needs to be mentioned.