I feel invisible

Hey all. Been a long time since I have visited SS. Basically after my last fail, I just gave up. Said screw it all. And for a while, that worked. But it didn't. I started to feel bitter but kept telling myself I did not need it. I did not need a girl. I just sat around doing jack every day after work doing NOTHING. Sitting on my ass. Being lazy. With no friends.

Im doing fine...

I DO have a job and while its not the best place to work, it is a paycheck and when hours are good, its an even better paycheck. I do have people around to talk to but the problem is I very often feel invisible especially to females. Sure one will talk to me, pretty much only when they have to.

Now look, I know, no sticking your pen in the company ink. But this don't mean I can't have a conversation with someone now, can it?

Well, a while back we get a new girl on the crew. She came from a different department so she new some other people. Not me though. I knew who she was but never talked to her. A few days go by and crap starts up. With me.

At first I was like, yeah, she's pretty. Who gives a rip. Yeah, I wouldn't mind having a piece of that. You know how it is, well, maybe you don't. I placed the thought in the back of my mind. Remember, I gave up on this stuff. See how I already shot my self down?

After a while she is starting to fit in, not really saying much to me, but every so often when someone is in the back room, they can get her to talk, she kind of loosens up (she is shy it self, at least as far as I can tell). While talking to her when I have to work directly with her I can get her to talk a little. I can get her to laugh (which is good) even if I am talking to a customer or something and she happens to hear I have heard her chuckle, but as far as chatting her up, I haven't. Why not? I figured this girl was taken (mistake) and I think she is. And two, I gave up, remember? No reason to chat it up with her. I have made small talk, but have not really asked her much. I was going to ask what she does for fun. See, open ended question. Blah blah blah.

Anyway I did not really give a rip. At least thats what I had previously thought.

Last week something I seen bugged the crap out of me. I mean seriously bugged the crap out of me. She starts talking to another co worker, flirting with him, tossing stuff, proximity alert helping him with his cart. etc. For a couple hours that day but I seen it off and on before but that day something just clicked. Sent me down into the dumps.

My co-worker has a girlfriend and a nice looking one to boot, the girl has a hubby (how serious of a marriage could it be if she did not take his last name? Or flirting with another co worker) but she was talking to our co worker for at least 2 hours on and off. I started to feel a bit sick. Now, I do realize there are two types of flirting and honestly I cant be sure if it just friendly or with intent. Perhaps she felt he was less of a threat since he had a girl. Or perhaps he is the best choice to get out of a boring marriage and have some fun. No idea. I do know he talks to her too. I am not really here to analyze this situation.

I started to think. Am I really that freaking repulsive and / or put off a vibe that no girl wants to talk to me like that? It sure the HELL feels like it. If I put off a vibe, what the hell is it? I try to be friendly to everyone although I do ***** and moan about crap (Need to work on NOT doing this) but not everyone hears this. Even before this girl came to our department, not one girl there has said more then she had to to me. Yeah, its a work place, but that don't stop other people from socializing. Its not like someone comes up to me, says "Hi" and I start ranting. No girls seem to want to socialize with me AT ALL at work. Sometimes even I will say, "Hows it going" to somebody and not get a response.

I feel as if I am invisible.
Seems as if almost everyone is talking to everyone except me. Yeah, I talk to a few people but not much.

And about the only thing I got going on for me is being funny.

Now, before you say something about screwing women at work, I know. Alright. If I can't socialize with women at work, because I give off some weird vibe or something, then how the hell can I do it away from work?

And about saying screw it all and giving up. Yeah, that did NOT work. I remained in my old habits quietly wishing a nice girl would fall in my lap, but not giving a damn either way. Mean while my buddy has had one kid with one girl and got possibly another on the way. I come to realize I really aint got crap out of life because I have not put crap into it.

Now I wonder if its too late

I do have the 48 laws of power and just picked up the art of seduction.

You know when I was reading that all you did was self deafeat yourself. You should walk with a bit more confidence than that. If you really have a thing for her go for it and stop beating yourself up. Personally I wouldn't risk hooking up with people at work, I don't think I need to tell you why, but hey I know how it is in your situation.

slitherjef said:

I come to realize I really aint got crap out of life because I have not put crap into it.

Now I wonder if its too late

Click to expand...

Basically trimmed your post down to its essential message.

Well, my answer is no, it's not too late. Put something into it.

Negativity, being stuck in your own painful thoughts, and being closed off from others. Those are symptoms of a life with nothing in it.

Positivity, enjoying the action of life, and enjoying others for their positive traits. That's what you're going for.

So take up hiking, or golf or something. Literally NEVER sit around the house alone. If you're at your house alone, leave and go find something to do, even if its just lurking a mall. Even if you have a bad time when you go out by yourself, DO IT. Just LIVE.

^I could write all day about that above advice, but I think you see my point. Now the question is, will you follow it, or will you come back here in a month to complain about how unhappy you've been?

You only have one life. Choose the right path. Make the right decisions. Use the right mindsets.


Envision who you want to be as a person...

Now become.

It is hard to change, especially taking that first step, and staying on course. But I know you don't want to mope around your whole life, because that is pathetic and you'll just waste the precious time you have. Once you lose time, you can never get it back. So live life 100%, and change, NOW.

Just be confident. Choose to be happy. Be the person to initiate conversation.

Your down in the dumps mate so the only way there is, is up! Maybe you have the personality but now it's time to refine yourself into the bloke you want to be. Get fit and healthy. It not only makes you look good but feel good. How many times I have been down like that only to shoot back up happily after a workout. It's a mood pleaser. Next part is to look good so woman don't see you as a guy who has nothing going for him. Clean yourself up, try and be a little more fashionable but neat and tidy usually is the way to go (compare that to a guy with oily long hair, uncut nails and you realise why girls wouldn't talk to that guy). In terms of friends, join a local club that shares your same hobby. You don't know how many people you can meet there.

This is the last and the most important thing, confidence. Alot of the times girls will wait til guys talk to them first. Do it. It shows you are confident and 'strutting your stuff'. Only rarely do girls initiate and in this case, she is shy too.

You can do it buddy. Honestly it will take little steps and things won't change overnight but if you are willing and wanting to, you can make yourself better and better.

Hey all.

Thanks for the comments. I do have to say something regarding that chick I was talking about work.

Yes. I am into her. Who wouldn't be really? Plant a seed and see if it grows with her I guess. Anyway my original post was to figure out that repelling vibe I seem to give off.

Hey all.

Thanks for the comments. I do have to say something regarding that chick I was talking about work.

Yes. I am into her. Who wouldn't be really? Plant a seed and see if it grows with her I guess. Anyway my original post was to figure out that repelling vibe I seem to give off.