A few months back I broke up with a girl and had a really hard time with it. Had some contact up to 3 weeks after the break up, then about 3 months of zero contact. Now she is back, exhibiting some weird behavior, and it's driving me nuts. Bringing back feelings I thought I had gotten over, and leaving me confused again. But I know one thing - she is looking better than ever, and I want to fvck her as much as possible. Especially if I can force myself to not get emotionally involved as I know she's crazy.
So after this period of zero contact, I get a random text from her late one night saying hi. We exchanged a few light texts/small talk. I let her send the last message.
A few days later, I heard from her again by text. She said that she was going to be downtown, near where I live, with some friends and wanted to see me. I had already made plans with friends for that night, and I told her that I would stop by and have a drink with her but I was leaving after a few minutes.
I show up to the bar about an hour later. When she saw me, she squealed like a little girl and hugged me like she hadn't seen me in years. She had been drinking. After a minute she said, "Can I kiss you?" Then she just grabbed me and started making out with me before I even answered (this is a girl who once told me during the later stages of the relationship that she didn't like being affectionate in public). She was all over me. I admit, it felt good, and she looked better than ever. She's a very beautiful girl and dressed to kill.
I could tell immediately that she had split like crazy - not just me either. She introduced me to her friend, who has been "best friends since high school", though in our 9 months of dating I never even heard this girl's name and had no idea who she was. I asked about med school and her career, and she told me that she is looking for a residency program here, and would never ever want to leave the area (when we broke up she told me she wanted to move away). I asked about her former "best friend", her gay roommate, and it appeared she had split him black. Over the next few minutes (during the time we were actually talking and she wasn't groping and/or making out with me), everything she said just affirmed to me that she has changed the way she views a lot of things in the last few months.
We move to another bar and I did not order a drink. I stayed there with her for a few minutes and told her I was going to leave now to meet with my friends. She begged me not to go and upped the physical contact and said I could take her home if I stayed with her. I declined and said that she was welcome to come with me if she wanted, but I was not going to break my plans. She acted unsure so I left.
I was barely outside the door when I got the first text asking to come with me. So I went home, picked up a friend, and came back and got her. We went to a club and she was even more physical. She unzipped my pants in the middle of the club and was out of control. She told me she missed me, then she immediately said "I don't want to hurt you." She asked me repeatedly if I was happy with my life, and I said yes. I could tell this disappointed her.
We left that club a while later, just the two of us, as my friend was going home with some other friends that were there. I took her back to her car at her new best friend's house, where we messed around for a few minutes. Both of us wanted to have sex she told me she was scared of what "happens after." I told her I understood, and she left. As expected, I got another text a few minutes later inviting me to her house. But I was already almost home and didn't respond.
A few days go by with no contact. Then I log on to plentyoffish (dating site where we initially met last year), and see that she has created a profile and viewed my profile. I didn't do anything. A day or two later, she visited my profile again and clicked the "want to meet this user" button. Not sure what kind of game this was supposed to be, but I played along and sent her a funny message. After a brief exchange she started texting me telling me that she wasn't sure why she was on the site, as she didn't want casual sex, she "sucks at dating", and "definitely don't want a relationship." This text is followed immediately by her saying how she wishes things had turned out differently with us, that she misses me, and if I would like to hang out sometime.
I invited her on my boat that weekend and she said she'd love to come.
So we meet up that Sunday to go to the beach (boating conditions weren't good). She brings her new best friend. This time, she isn't all over me, and she is not being sexual or touchy at all. Instead, I got the vibe that I was the "nice guy friend". They drop me off at my place, and I acted kind of cold to her when I said goodbye. She texted me a minute later asking if I would like to go out with her that night on a double with her friend and some guy. I agreed.
I get to her house a few hours later and she is again dressed to kill and looking absolutely amazing. She pulled me in for a kiss at her door, then at the last second turned so I kissed her cheek. I decided right then and there I wasn't going to be one of "the girls", I was going to be her date and I was going to be sexual. So I grabbed her neck, pulled her to me, and gave her a deep kiss. She responded well.
We had a glass of wine before leaving. During this time I told her that I was not going to be a "girlfriend", if we were going to hang out tonight then I was going to touch her and do whatever I wanted. A little forward, but whatever. She started crying and told me she felt like a piece of meat (nevermind the way she acted with me at the bar!), and did not want to be my "f*ck buddy." I hugged her and told her she knows I care about her, I just wanted it to be clear that I'm still attracted to her and don't want to be "that guy" that wants something but can't have it. After I reassured her a few times, she stopped crying and asked what I wanted to do. I suggested we go to eat while we waited on her friend and her date to finish their dinner. She then said, "that's a good idea, or..." and then grabbed my belt and undid it. I grabbed her hand said said "no," she smiled at me, and we left.
During dinner she opened up to me and started crying again. She is obviously lonely, depressed, terrified of the future. She actually said that she wishes someone would just "tell her what to do."
We then met her friend+date at a nice lounge, and as the night went on she got more and more physical with me. The friend left with the guy and she and I danced and drank for a while. We got my car from the valet and she started touching me. I made a comment about how we'd be back at her place in a few minutes and she told me she couldn't wait that long. So I pulled over and we had sex in my car. The second I was inside her, she said, "God I missed you so much."
Once we got back, she asked me to stay the night with her. I lay there next to her and felt remorse - partly because I felt like I was compromising myself by letting her into my life again, and partly because I felt guilty for taking advantage of her emotional instability and need for affection. She could tell I was bothered and started talking to me about what had gone on with her ex during our time apart. She told me that she realized what I meant to her, and that I "took care" of her emotionally while he just "brought her down." She told me she knew things were difficult for me and she didn't expect me to want to be with her again. I looked right at her and said, "I don't trust you. I'm not angry at you, but I will never be with you again." Instead of getting hurt, she suddenly sat up, straddled me, and said something like, "You can fight with me in the morning, but right now you're mine." And we had sex.
In the morning I felt even worse. I told her the same things. This time she was upset. I asked her if she felt empty inside, and like she wanted someone close to her but she was too scared to let that happen. She started crying and said yes. I couldn't help myself... she was so vulnerable and the look in her eyes just melted me. So I had sex with her again.
We went and had a nice lunch, and I went home.
That was Monday, and as of Friday I had not heard from her at all (during our relationship she constantly wanted to text or talk). So I said hi that morning and she replied immediately. I then invited her out for dinner and dancing that night and heard nothing until several hours later, when she said she couldn't.
Nothing from her since.
Obviously there are some games going on here. I have no idea what she wants, or what to do. I don't even know what I want. Ultimately I know I could never have a successful relationship with her, and I'm wasting time. But we have so much fun together, and I'm wildly attracted to her. So I would like to try to establish a FB relationship, and keep it as long as I can.
Any suggestions?
So after this period of zero contact, I get a random text from her late one night saying hi. We exchanged a few light texts/small talk. I let her send the last message.
A few days later, I heard from her again by text. She said that she was going to be downtown, near where I live, with some friends and wanted to see me. I had already made plans with friends for that night, and I told her that I would stop by and have a drink with her but I was leaving after a few minutes.
I show up to the bar about an hour later. When she saw me, she squealed like a little girl and hugged me like she hadn't seen me in years. She had been drinking. After a minute she said, "Can I kiss you?" Then she just grabbed me and started making out with me before I even answered (this is a girl who once told me during the later stages of the relationship that she didn't like being affectionate in public). She was all over me. I admit, it felt good, and she looked better than ever. She's a very beautiful girl and dressed to kill.
I could tell immediately that she had split like crazy - not just me either. She introduced me to her friend, who has been "best friends since high school", though in our 9 months of dating I never even heard this girl's name and had no idea who she was. I asked about med school and her career, and she told me that she is looking for a residency program here, and would never ever want to leave the area (when we broke up she told me she wanted to move away). I asked about her former "best friend", her gay roommate, and it appeared she had split him black. Over the next few minutes (during the time we were actually talking and she wasn't groping and/or making out with me), everything she said just affirmed to me that she has changed the way she views a lot of things in the last few months.
We move to another bar and I did not order a drink. I stayed there with her for a few minutes and told her I was going to leave now to meet with my friends. She begged me not to go and upped the physical contact and said I could take her home if I stayed with her. I declined and said that she was welcome to come with me if she wanted, but I was not going to break my plans. She acted unsure so I left.
I was barely outside the door when I got the first text asking to come with me. So I went home, picked up a friend, and came back and got her. We went to a club and she was even more physical. She unzipped my pants in the middle of the club and was out of control. She told me she missed me, then she immediately said "I don't want to hurt you." She asked me repeatedly if I was happy with my life, and I said yes. I could tell this disappointed her.
We left that club a while later, just the two of us, as my friend was going home with some other friends that were there. I took her back to her car at her new best friend's house, where we messed around for a few minutes. Both of us wanted to have sex she told me she was scared of what "happens after." I told her I understood, and she left. As expected, I got another text a few minutes later inviting me to her house. But I was already almost home and didn't respond.
A few days go by with no contact. Then I log on to plentyoffish (dating site where we initially met last year), and see that she has created a profile and viewed my profile. I didn't do anything. A day or two later, she visited my profile again and clicked the "want to meet this user" button. Not sure what kind of game this was supposed to be, but I played along and sent her a funny message. After a brief exchange she started texting me telling me that she wasn't sure why she was on the site, as she didn't want casual sex, she "sucks at dating", and "definitely don't want a relationship." This text is followed immediately by her saying how she wishes things had turned out differently with us, that she misses me, and if I would like to hang out sometime.
I invited her on my boat that weekend and she said she'd love to come.
So we meet up that Sunday to go to the beach (boating conditions weren't good). She brings her new best friend. This time, she isn't all over me, and she is not being sexual or touchy at all. Instead, I got the vibe that I was the "nice guy friend". They drop me off at my place, and I acted kind of cold to her when I said goodbye. She texted me a minute later asking if I would like to go out with her that night on a double with her friend and some guy. I agreed.
I get to her house a few hours later and she is again dressed to kill and looking absolutely amazing. She pulled me in for a kiss at her door, then at the last second turned so I kissed her cheek. I decided right then and there I wasn't going to be one of "the girls", I was going to be her date and I was going to be sexual. So I grabbed her neck, pulled her to me, and gave her a deep kiss. She responded well.
We had a glass of wine before leaving. During this time I told her that I was not going to be a "girlfriend", if we were going to hang out tonight then I was going to touch her and do whatever I wanted. A little forward, but whatever. She started crying and told me she felt like a piece of meat (nevermind the way she acted with me at the bar!), and did not want to be my "f*ck buddy." I hugged her and told her she knows I care about her, I just wanted it to be clear that I'm still attracted to her and don't want to be "that guy" that wants something but can't have it. After I reassured her a few times, she stopped crying and asked what I wanted to do. I suggested we go to eat while we waited on her friend and her date to finish their dinner. She then said, "that's a good idea, or..." and then grabbed my belt and undid it. I grabbed her hand said said "no," she smiled at me, and we left.
During dinner she opened up to me and started crying again. She is obviously lonely, depressed, terrified of the future. She actually said that she wishes someone would just "tell her what to do."
We then met her friend+date at a nice lounge, and as the night went on she got more and more physical with me. The friend left with the guy and she and I danced and drank for a while. We got my car from the valet and she started touching me. I made a comment about how we'd be back at her place in a few minutes and she told me she couldn't wait that long. So I pulled over and we had sex in my car. The second I was inside her, she said, "God I missed you so much."
Once we got back, she asked me to stay the night with her. I lay there next to her and felt remorse - partly because I felt like I was compromising myself by letting her into my life again, and partly because I felt guilty for taking advantage of her emotional instability and need for affection. She could tell I was bothered and started talking to me about what had gone on with her ex during our time apart. She told me that she realized what I meant to her, and that I "took care" of her emotionally while he just "brought her down." She told me she knew things were difficult for me and she didn't expect me to want to be with her again. I looked right at her and said, "I don't trust you. I'm not angry at you, but I will never be with you again." Instead of getting hurt, she suddenly sat up, straddled me, and said something like, "You can fight with me in the morning, but right now you're mine." And we had sex.
In the morning I felt even worse. I told her the same things. This time she was upset. I asked her if she felt empty inside, and like she wanted someone close to her but she was too scared to let that happen. She started crying and said yes. I couldn't help myself... she was so vulnerable and the look in her eyes just melted me. So I had sex with her again.
We went and had a nice lunch, and I went home.
That was Monday, and as of Friday I had not heard from her at all (during our relationship she constantly wanted to text or talk). So I said hi that morning and she replied immediately. I then invited her out for dinner and dancing that night and heard nothing until several hours later, when she said she couldn't.
Nothing from her since.
Obviously there are some games going on here. I have no idea what she wants, or what to do. I don't even know what I want. Ultimately I know I could never have a successful relationship with her, and I'm wasting time. But we have so much fun together, and I'm wildly attracted to her. So I would like to try to establish a FB relationship, and keep it as long as I can.
Any suggestions?
