Married mans premature field report. Rewarding good behavior.

[5string]

OK guys. Mrs.5string has been great lately. Cooking, cleaning, shopping for me and otherwise just unbelievable. She initiates sex, wears lingerie and get's it done behind close doors. I'm a pretty happy fvckin guy right now!

Tonight, I have decided to take her to one of the nicest places in town for dinner and drinks. The kind of place where you get dressed up. It's high class. Mrs.5string will be wearing a cocktail dress, very high heels and some thigh highs (I love that stuff and she knows it). She loves to dress really sexy and feminine. And by the way, she's way hot for her age and I'm proud of that. In short, I'm rewarding her positive behavior lately by doing this. That's DJ stuff right?

I predict we will have a great time and ultimately, a sexual marathon will take place once we get back to the house. Life is good. I'll let you guys know if my prediction is correct minus the "details".

So wtf are you guys doing over the holliday weekend with your women?

[samspade]

Hey 5String, sounds like an awesome weekend. Sounds like you're doing great, as usual.

It's actually my 1-year anniversary tomorrow. I remember a year ago I still had some uncertainty about marrying my wife - not because of her, mind you, but just about being married. Turned out to be a great decision so far. She is much the same as how you described your wife....feminine, cooks and cleans, initiates sex and is great in the sack. Loves to dance and travel with me. She's been extremely deferential and her "difficult days" are easy compared with anyone I dealt with before. In addition to all of this, I've managed to find a woman who doesn't spend more than she makes - what a novel thought. She saves money and shops at thrift and discount stores (not always of course). Though she did buy me a nice new digital camera for our anniversary. I gave her an iPod nano that she can bring to the gym, heheh. (She is also adamant about keeping herself in shape.)

We'll probably hit up a park in NYC with a great view of the skyline - there's a cafe nearby that serves good food and wine and it's great for a picnic. Nice place to enjoy the sunset. There is kind of an expensive restaurant nearby on the harbor which I suggested, but my wife countered with the picnic idea, since it's cheaper. This is the kind of thing that makes me happy I married her.

I don't often like to bring up my "married stories" on SS because I don't know if they have any relevance or if people really care. But it's funny you posted about your wife today because I was just thinking of posting a "1 year anniversary field report." We are having a blast - traveled to South America and Africa together the past year, going to the Midwest next week. Sure, there are times when I see other women and my urges kick in, but I'm still hot for my wife and I channel all my energy to tapping her azz. It's been a little weird shifting from DJ to Married DJ, and there were some minor behavioral adjustments I had to make, but overall I'm feeling great.

[5string]

sam

Happy anniversary big fella! That is so cool about you and your wife! You sound as pumped up as I am for the weekend. I'm still as hot for my wife as you are of yours. She's hot for me as well. I don't like to get into the details so much about my marriage either. It's just that I'm very happy now and "satisfied" like you would not believe. Tonight, I plan on making her happy she was born a woman if you know what I mean!

Despite being married, alot of the stuff on here applies to marriage as well. We still need game, know how to control frame and otherwise keep things interesting. Marriage takes work. You have to allign all of the stars to make it awesome. I'm there. Sounds like you are too brother.

Please let me know how your weekend went and I'll do the same.

[pipe007]

Amen to this, and best of luck to you guys who are learning how to keep your marriages and yourselves on shape! and your games tight!

you should, by all means, reward good behavior sporadicaly!!

at the beginning is good to reward good behavior everytime it happens, then take it away at small amounts, to times where she least expects it, because she will always wonder when her reward will come up.

that will make her always be in good behavior because she knows that consistent good behavior = good rewards from you.

of course you should always demonstrate inmediate negative consequences everytime she missbehaves.

take care!

[5string]

OK. Here's the update. And I'm gonna derail my own thread.

Took her out. Fancy place. Got all dressed up. Food was great. Sat at a table outside so we could see the river. Weather was great. Pretty crowded.

We were sitting at a large table which had about 4 extra seats. Just the 2 of us. So I have a buzz. Everything is great until, 2 thirty something HB's who had passed their expitation dates come up and ask if they can sit at our table. I tell em' we're about to leave and the table will be theirs as soon as we finish our drinks. In the meantime we get to talking to them.....

HB1....You took your wife out for dinner huh?
me....uh yep
HB1....you must love her very much. I wish I could find a nice guy like you!

THE DOOR IS NOW OPEN!

Me....so you think I'm a nice guy huh?
HB1....yea. Why are you really a bad boy?
me....I'm flexible (my wife smiles at this comment).
HB1....What's that mean?
me.....Don't give me that nice guy sh!t. I'll just tell you the way it is. You gals want a bad boy to fufill your desires and when he drops you a$$ to go screw some other chick, you'll hook up with your nice guy, and then fantasize about your bad boy and how great he was in the rack.

HB1 is fvckin stunned!

HB2....well, I like you. You just say whatever you want and don't even care what anybody thinks (this is womanspeak for if your wifey wasnt around I'd fvck you).
me.....told you I was flexible.
HB1...can't talk. At a loss for words.

Got up with the wife, stopped at another place to talk to friends, went home and got it done.

[squirrels]

Is the Mrs. open to a little 3-way?

[5string]

Originally Posted by squirrels

Is the Mrs. open to a little 3-way?

HAHA!

I know some of you guys think I'm lame for this, but I just couldnt do it even if she would agree. I know myself. I'd feel guilty.

[Fuglydude]

Cool thread guys... I just got hitched a couple of weeks back and not a lot has changed. Sam, I think its perfectly normal to check out other girls, and have second thoughts... but like you its something I'm happy that I did. I've lived with this girl for over 3.5 years now so it doesn't feel that different. We've always had great chemistry and communication, and recently she's been buying me lots of shiit like a new computer that I really don't think that I need, but she did it to be nice.

I've never had great game, and I've always had reasonable success with women. 5String, I don't think there's anything wrong with being a nice guy... Hell I'm a nice guy, I treat everyone with respect. But I've also done more drugs than most human beings, taken my clothes off for money and am in better shape that 90% of the population. I think the secret is to not be a push over and be sexual and fundamentally attractive.

Guys, other than dinner and stuff what else can one do to reward good behavior. Im' seriously romantically retarded... help me out here!

[Mr.Positive]

Originally Posted by 5string

HB1 is fvckin stunned!

Haha!! I love it! She's stunned because you described her perfectly. Her loss for words was the little squirrels in her mind running overtime...thinking trying to justify how in the heck you knew exactly about her past.

If there was an DJ award of the year it should got to 5string.

I think it's great you married guys are happy, that gives a lot of positivity to this forum. Sometimes there's a lot of negativity regarding women here.

Keep up the efforts and congrats on enjoying life!

[5string]

I agree Fug. Good for you on your marriage by the way!

I consider myself nice, but just have no time for nonsense, especially from women. This site has me tuned into female BS and when I smell it, I'll call them on it. Got nothin' to lose. It's actually rather fun.

What can you do to reward good behavior?
I cook for her now and then.
Take her on business trips with me
Ask her to join me in the shower
Run errands for her when I have time
I take her out alot

I do quite a bit for her such as the above.

One thing I do know, is I never shower her with compliments, gifts or kiss her a$$ to the point where she takes it for granted. I'd call that MAFC (Married Average Frustrated Chump) behavior. This way, when I do reward her, she appreciates it because it's not given out like candy.

[5string]

Originally Posted by Mr.Positive

Haha!! I love it! She's stunned because you described her perfectly. Her loss for words was the little squirrels in her mind running overtime...thinking trying to justify how in the heck you knew exactly about her past.

If there was an DJ award of the year it should got to 5string.

I think it's great you married guys are happy, that gives a lot of positivity to this forum. Sometimes there's a lot of negativity regarding women here.

Keep up the efforts and congrats on enjoying life!

Thanks Mr.Positive.

Trust me. My marriage started off on a rocky road. It's now been smoothed out and I'm really enjoying it.

"little squirrels in her mind running overtime"!!! That's fvcking funny right there!

[Fuglydude]

Originally Posted by 5string

I agree Fug. Good for you on your marriage by the way!

I consider myself nice, but just have no time for nonsense, especially from women. This site has me tuned into female BS and when I smell it, I'll call them on it. Got nothin' to lose. It's actually rather fun.

What can you do to reward good behavior?
I cook for her now and then.
Take her on business trips with me
Ask her to join me in the shower
Run errands for her when I have time
I take her out alot

I do quite a bit for her such as the above.

One thing I do know, is I never shower her with compliments, gifts or kiss her a$$ to the point where she takes it for granted. I'd call that MAFC (Married Average Frustrated Chump) behavior. This way, when I do reward her, she appreciates it because it's not given out like candy.

Thanks dude... I swear I have some kind of disability that doesnt' let me be romantic. My idea of romance is messy sex...but that's probably because I'm a phucking pervert!

Thanks for the tips mang!

[KarmaSutra]

Good to see positive pokes and light-hearted jabs at ourselves, and our relationships with women.

[squirrels]

Originally Posted by Fuglydude

Thanks dude... I swear I have some kind of disability that doesnt' let me be romantic. My idea of romance is messy sex...but that's probably because I'm a phucking pervert!

Thanks for the tips mang!

My girlfriend says to me the other night, "How come we don't make love like they do in the movies?". So I bent her over the table, smacked her on the ass, grabbed her by the hair, f**ked her hard, and came on her face.

Turns out we don't watch the same movies.

[Boilermaker]

hahahahahha

Love you squirrels !

[zekko]

Originally Posted by 5string

HB1....you must love her very much. I wish I could find a nice guy like you!

THE DOOR IS NOW OPEN!

Me....so you think I'm a nice guy huh?
HB1....yea. Why are you really a bad boy?
me....I'm flexible (my wife smiles at this comment).
HB1....What's that mean?
me.....Don't give me that nice guy sh!t. I'll just tell you the way it is. You gals want a bad boy to fufill your desires and when he drops you a$$ to go screw some other chick, you'll hook up with your nice guy, and then fantasize about your bad boy and how great he was in the rack.

I'm going to give you my honest gut reaction here, 5string: This seems like kind of a strange response to me. Do you really buy into these nice guy/bad boy stereotypes that much? I have a hard time seeing real people in these black and white images, most guys are a mix of both, it's all shades of gray. Some guys are farther to one side of the spectrum as others.

I mean it sounds to me that she was trying to give you a genuine compliment, did it really bother you that much that she called you a nice guy? I don't think it means the same thing outside of pickup circles.

Anyway, of course she has to pine for the bad boy who leaves her. You can't pine for somebody who doesn't leave. That doesn't mean she'd be happy with him, in fact she probably wouldn't, and eventually she would leave him for fvcking around.

[5string]

zekko

I guess I do believe in the sterotypes for the most part. It's just like what men really think. We all love a girl who is naughty don't we? Women like naughty (bad) men. Maybe I tagged her a little hard but it's the way she said it. Kinda baby talk if you will. Just didnt sound right. It would have been better if HB1 would just have said, "that's nice you took your wife out to dinner".

Here is a good example of rewarding good behavior.

If she wears her high heels when you have sex, consider rubbing her feet when you're done.

[zekko]

I guess I do believe in the sterotypes for the most part

There are nice guys and bad boys.
But when I think of all the people I know, I have a hard time placing them all in one box or the other. I would say most of them do not match the stereotype, they're more of a mix of traits.

We all love a girl who is naughty don't we?

Depends on what you mean. Honestly, these days if I know a girl is slvtty, it's a huge turnoff to me. When I was a very young lad just wanting to experiment I used to think "The slvts are okay but I hate the b!tches".

I prefer a nice girl with an open mind, one that is willing to experiment in the bedroom. I don't care much about her past, but I'd prefer she hasn't fvcked the whole town. She certainly doesn't have to be a virgin though. I mean come on, I'm 50!

Maybe I tagged her a little hard but it's the way she said it. Kinda baby talk if you will. Just didnt sound right. It would have been better if HB1 would just have said, "that's nice you took your wife out to dinner".

Well, you were there so only you can say if she deserved it.
I agree it would have been better if she had put it the way you suggested.

Generally speaking though, I don't think women use the term "nice guy" in the same sense as PUAs do. I've heard numerous women call the guys they were very clearly into nice. But with the internet, and this pickup stuff becoming more mainstream, more girls are familiar with the PUA speak. It could have even been some sort of sh!t test, but I doubt it.

[samspade]

Hey 5String - great work, per usual.

Zekko - I can see why you thought 5String went a little overboard. It sounds like a regular compliment coming from a woman looking for a good man.

However, there is something about the term "nice guy" coming from a woman that sounds insidious and condescending. It's still a mild attempt to de-fang a guy, even when the compliment sounds genuine. "I wish I could find a nice guy like you" = "I date and fukk bad boys, you're taken and your wife's hot, you couldn't possibly be another bad boy but I'll prove it to myself anyway by calling you nice and see what you say in front of your wife."

Contrast the "nice guy" comment (which 5String deftly parried) with this: I was waiting in line for ice cream with my wife at the park for a long time. At some point my wife stepped away to take some photos and I was alone in line, ahead of two late thirtysomething women. I ordered chocolate but they were out, so went with vanilla instead. When the wife came back I looked her in the eyes and told her, "there's no chocolate - I'll explain later" as if we were characters in a political thriller. The two women behind us laughed and one said to her, "You have a very mysterious husband - you're a very lucky woman."

Now, I know words are just words, and sometimes they're not as thought-out as we interpret them, but...I'll take mysterious over nice any day. That woman who talked to 5String wanted to reassure herself that she wasn't missing out on something exciting - that he was just a lucky pushover with a wife (which he is not of course). There are plenty of words to go with - exciting, mysterious, even great - that would openly convey her jealousy/admiration rather than try to temper it.

I do agree, zekko, that women will use the "nice" tag on men they are into but in a different context. Usually it's coupled with other words...."he's tall, has a great job, he's really nice..." ha.

On another note, the wife and I had a great anniversary. She was OTR so I was the only one who got my rocks off that night. Visited family for a week and got home late last night. She told me she was a little tired for sex but in the morning she'd attack me. I tried to sleep for about five minutes, then decided to veto her "wait until morning" idea with an "I'm ready now, roll over" which she eagerly accepted.