Guys, Don't Waste Your Time & Money at Bars & Clubs - Here's Why

spinaroonie · Nov 9, 2010

Bars and clubs were once venues in which women came to actively seek and meet men. It was once socially acceptable and expected for men to approach women in this setting.

Lately, I've noticed the dynamic in bars and nightclubs shifting. Rather than the singles/meat markets of yore, bars and clubs are now becoming venues for groups of friends to celebrate some sort of group event - birthday parties, stagettes, "girls night out" etc. Blame cell phones, texting, Facebook, and social networking sites that make groups of friends connected to each other, yet form cliques and isolate themselves from the mainstream.

Additionally, the growing popularity of online dating means women no longer need to actively seek men - women can field multiple date requests from the comfort of their own homes. I believe this is why bars and clubs are increasingly becoming sausagefests - single women aren't going out as much today. They don't need to. They're staying home.

And therein lies the paradox of the broken bar/club scene today. Guys flood clubs in the vain hopes of attracting pvssy. Girls go to clubs to attention-***** and put up pictures on Facebook the next morning, and c*ckblock each other from hooking up. So the guys go home alone on yet another night. Sexually frustrated, they start fights with other guys.

And yet I live by a campus with a 2-to-1 girl-guy ratio. This is definitely not reflected in the sausagefest bars and clubs I frequent, where the ratio is flipped. So where are all the single girls? At home on a Friday night, watching Twilight for the 12th time. Not at the bars and clubs.

And here's the irony - I can't help think that there are still a lot of single, lonely girls out there. With women increasingly shunning bars and clubs, and online dating still carrying the stigma of a reserve for "desperate creepy guys", where is a girl to meet a quality man?

And where is a man to meet a quality girl?

perseverance · Nov 9, 2010

I gave up meeting women in clubs and bars a few years ago!

Sausage fest is exactly what most bars and clubs are, it's ridiculous, in some places it's like 5 guys for every 1 girl. Fights are a regular occurrences in clubs and I reckon it is because of such ridiculous ratios.

I also notice a lot of couples go out together to bars and clubs now and that's pretty poor.

Coffee shops and shops are the places I search for women nowadays.

synergy1 · Nov 9, 2010

yeah man, I am starting to feel the same effects from the bar/club scene. its getting boring and predictable. Its easy to get a quick 'hookup' the night of, but nothing worthwhile ever comes from that. Actually, I seldom meet people who are interested in talking to anyone outside their social circle. At this point, treat the nightlife as a time to chill with friends and enjoy the single life before you decide to settle down.

Here is my take on meeting quality women. First, live someplace where there are high quality people to begin with. There is a stark difference between living in a city like Boston, and living near some dude ranch in Wyoming. A city will provide a great selection of women , many of whom are interesting and motivated. Next is the right venue - volunteer, coed sports, events where people are out having a good time.

Insanity is defined by doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. This is particularly true for all of us who hit up bars/clubs and expecting something different. Ain't gonna happen! The only real change is that women are fatter than before.

edit: GREAT call on the fights breaking out at bars. This has happened several times at a venue that my group has since abandoned. It would make perfect sense as most guys have to blow up other guys spots just to get a chance to dance with some whale. This venue I mentioned is getting so bad with fights, they are sending in undercovers to make sure **** doesn't get out of control.

JCballin88 · Nov 9, 2010

I agree - I'm naturally not a big fan of the night scene, and I think that's because it really is a sausagefest everywhere these days. This is also true for a lot of house parties and stuff. Desperate looking chumps everywhere standing around mumbling to each other about chicks.

Like the OP said, girls are really just going out for the thrill of the attention whoring. They stand around in their little clump taking pictures all night and it's simply a waste of time to try to single one out.

PokerStar · Nov 9, 2010

i have a different out take on clubs.

I only go when a certain DJ is playing. For the most part I'm there to dance, listen to the music i love, and show off some of the dance moves ive been practicing all week (jk)

Meeting or hooking up with a fine female is just a bonus to me and its not the focus. Its to loud sometimes to even get a word in without her saying "what? I can't hear you"

I prefer to seek attention on the dance floor.

HeyPachuco! · Nov 9, 2010

I'm sure I've seen this spoke about since 2001, 2002 or 2003 when Sosuave was up and running on god mode, or as some call it, the golden-age. I'm sure I've seen a few quality threads highlighting similiar aspects of the club or predications where made then, that are now happening now. I only started clubbing properly when I was 15, where I used to go to U18 Balls in clubs, hooking up was the best then. I had girls see me the very NEXT DAY, to get that now would be World Record Break. You needed no social experience or proof, as girls those times and ages had 0 social experience within High School. There were no Twitter or Facebook updates, hardly any texting, as texting was done for the week for the big ball bananza and everybody would hook-up.

I can only bet, that the guys in High School now are seeing a smaller, but just as bad subculture within U18's Clubs, events and house parties. I do blame social networking sites and phones as a major catalyst of why things sublty went snowballing down hill. Everybody knows everybody know, its easy to cheat. All you need is an FB account, over 1,000 friends and post pics of yourself doing cool sh*t. Its a very superficial dynamic now.

But what I'd like to know is, before Facebook and such social networking sites came out, which was around 2004, how was it before this? I don't remember Facebook having a major buzz after 2006? Heck, I left High School in 2005, a year after Facebook was made. Never heard anything about it, now, I've seen my little cousins, younger than 13-years-old having a Facebook account with over 200 friends in 2010? I do remember Myspace having a major buzz, I met my ex-girlfriend off there which was around 2007. Around this time, everybody started calling Myspace whack and making FB accounts.

Anyway, can the guys from 2000-2003 do the honors of telling us how it was in clubs, or just generally hooking-up with chicks then? I never knew of any PUA stuff those years ago, so maybe you noticed a change way before FB and Myspace was out, where the PUA scene was making a surface, can anyone confirm this?

Plinco · Nov 9, 2010

yep, I agree with this as well. I have been noticing this around my area for years. The whole dating scene is too much a pain in the @ss now. I just go about my way and only date girls that I bump into.

spinaroonie · Nov 9, 2010

HeyPachuco! said:
I'm sure I've seen this spoke about since 2001, 2002 or 2003 when Sosuave was up and running on god mode, or as some call it, the golden-age. I'm sure I've seen a few quality threads highlighting similiar aspects of the club or predications where made then, that are now happening now. I only started clubbing properly when I was 15, where I used to go to U18 Balls in clubs, hooking up was the best then. I had girls see me the very NEXT DAY, to get that now would be World Record Break. You needed no social experience or proof, as girls those times and ages had 0 social experience within High School. There were no Twitter or Facebook updates, hardly any texting, as texting was done for the week for the big ball bananza and everybody would hook-up.

I can only bet, that the guys in High School now are seeing a smaller, but just as bad subculture within U18's Clubs, events and house parties. I do blame social networking sites and phones as a major catalyst of why things sublty went snowballing down hill. Everybody knows everybody know, its easy to cheat. All you need is an FB account, over 1,000 friends and post pics of yourself doing cool sh*t. Its a very superficial dynamic now.

But what I'd like to know is, before Facebook and such social networking sites came out, which was around 2004, how was it before this? I don't remember Facebook having a major buzz after 2006? Heck, I left High School in 2005, a year after Facebook was made. Never heard anything about it, now, I've seen my little cousins, younger than 13-years-old having a Facebook account with over 200 friends in 2010? I do remember Myspace having a major buzz, I met my ex-girlfriend off there which was around 2007. Around this time, everybody started calling Myspace whack and making FB accounts.

Anyway, can the guys from 2000-2003 do the honors of telling us how it was in clubs, or just generally hooking-up with chicks then? I never knew of any PUA stuff those years ago, so maybe you noticed a change way before FB and Myspace was out, where the PUA scene was making a surface, can anyone confirm this?

Excellent point. The late 90s/early 2000s was a golden era in which when a lot of PUA material and the DJ Bible flowered. But the dynamics in bars and clubs back then were a lot different. Think of clubbing 10 years ago, circa 2000. No cell phones. No texting. No digital cameras. No Facebook. No MySpace. No online dating sites.

I imagine women back then were A LOT more receptive to cold approaches at bars and clubs, for all the reasons cited in the OP.

The GAME has CHANGED fellas, and game material hasn't evolved to catch up with the profound changes in communications technologies as it has affected social dynamics in recent years.

Would Mystery in his early days come up with the Mystery Method if he had to contend with ADD attention-*****s too preoccupied with texting their friends and taking pictures of themselves with digital cameras to put up on Facebook and calling all guys "creepers" instead of, like, having a real conversation? He likely would not have had the patience, grown frustrated, given up, and quit. There would be no PUA.

PokerStar · Nov 9, 2010

HeyPachuco! said:
I'm sure I've seen this spoke about since 2001, 2002 or 2003 when Sosuave was up and running on god mode, or as some call it, the golden-age. I'm sure I've seen a few quality threads highlighting similiar aspects of the club or predications where made then, that are now happening now. I only started clubbing properly when I was 15, where I used to go to U18 Balls in clubs, hooking up was the best then. I had girls see me the very NEXT DAY, to get that now would be World Record Break. You needed no social experience or proof, as girls those times and ages had 0 social experience within High School. There were no Twitter or Facebook updates, hardly any texting, as texting was done for the week for the big ball bananza and everybody would hook-up.

I can only bet, that the guys in High School now are seeing a smaller, but just as bad subculture within U18's Clubs, events and house parties. I do blame social networking sites and phones as a major catalyst of why things sublty went snowballing down hill. Everybody knows everybody know, its easy to cheat. All you need is an FB account, over 1,000 friends and post pics of yourself doing cool sh*t. Its a very superficial dynamic now.

But what I'd like to know is, before Facebook and such social networking sites came out, which was around 2004, how was it before this? I don't remember Facebook having a major buzz after 2006? Heck, I left High School in 2005, a year after Facebook was made. Never heard anything about it, now, I've seen my little cousins, younger than 13-years-old having a Facebook account with over 200 friends in 2010? I do remember Myspace having a major buzz, I met my ex-girlfriend off there which was around 2007. Around this time, everybody started calling Myspace whack and making FB accounts.

Anyway, can the guys from 2000-2003 do the honors of telling us how it was in clubs, or just generally hooking-up with chicks then? I never knew of any PUA stuff those years ago, so maybe you noticed a change way before FB and Myspace was out, where the PUA scene was making a surface, can anyone confirm this?

the one thing I notice is that everyone takes pics with their phone or digicams, yelling out facebook profile pic!

everywomanshero · Nov 9, 2010

Some places are better than others for different people. Some friends used to like this place that catered to college sorority types but I never liked it there.

Here are the places I've pulled from in the past few years:

-Small, neighborhood pubs. A lot of guys assume because a girl is with friends somewhere small, that they are not pullable. I had a girl leave her group of friends and blow me on her balcony a few blocks away and another time an older chick ignored her married friend's blatant request to get rid of me lol. At the end of the night, I made out with both of them in my driveway. I would almost never say it's a nogo in these places no matter what means to be the obstacle.

-Big, sleazy nightclubs and tourist area bars: You know the ones with girls dancing on the bar or other bars in the tourist side of town. I've had OK luck in these places. Granted, 9 times out of 10 it's just a makeout you have to follow up on but all kind of women go to these places. Also, check any benches and outside smoking areas or decks/patios/beergardens. Chicks mad at their friends often sit there and are good places to get to know someone or find small groups of girls to talk to.

-Really Late night places that attract a slightly older crowd: Maybe they play a lot of rock or something or have just historically catered to a slightly older crowd that keeps the 21 years olds away, but if you can find one of these things they are are often a good spot to find milfs who are opportunistic about hot guys who approach them. There was one especially productive spot like this where I used to live and friends were always amazed at how quickly I'd be sitting alone with some chick in the balcony.

Like I said, one size doesn't fit all and I am not a huge fan of bars/clubs, but it's worthwhile to look around and find somewhere you personally feel comfortable. I think the important thing is to remember to have fun and look for interesting people to mingle with. If some place does not offer that after a few tries, just stop going there.

j0n24 · Nov 9, 2010

synergy1 said:
Here is my take on meeting quality women. First, live someplace where there are high quality people to begin with. There is a stark difference between living in a city like Boston, and living near some dude ranch in Wyoming. A city will provide a great selection of women , many of whom are interesting and motivated.

You say there are quality people in a city? Hahahahaha personally I find that there are more humble down to earth people on what you call a "Dude Ranch in Wyoming," Then a city.

I dont live in Wyoming but I do live in a farm type state and personally I dont have a problem finding "Quality," People....now when I go to SA or that blight of a city called Austin thats when I begin to see the degredation of quality.

Its hard to compare a slow paced city with low crime stats and more space for everyone then say a cramped , smelly , hobo infested, higher crime rate, constant noise city.

Zarky · Nov 9, 2010

The points brought up in this thread are why I do my dating online. It's the ultimate meat-market

nismo-4 · Nov 9, 2010

Post # 1,400!!! Awesome!

I have to give my insight!

spinaroonie said:
Bars and clubs were once venues in which women came to actively seek and meet men. It was once socially acceptable and expected for men to approach women in this setting.

Back in the 80's & 90's and early 2000's! Little to no social networking and barely any texting!

Lately, I've noticed the dynamic in bars and nightclubs shifting. Rather than the singles/meat markets of yore, bars and clubs are now becoming venues for groups of friends to celebrate some sort of group event - birthday parties, stagettes, "girls night out" etc. Blame cell phones, texting, Facebook, and social networking sites that make groups of friends connected to each other, yet form cliques and isolate themselves from the mainstream.

Girls go to clubs to find guys to pay for their nights on the town.

Additionally, the growing popularity of online dating means women no longer need to actively seek men - women can field multiple date requests from the comfort of their own homes. I believe this is why bars and clubs are increasingly becoming sausagefests - single women aren't going out as much today. They don't need to. They're staying home.

Women can get laid whenever, wherever, and they know it. No matter how old one is, they are good at being attention wh0res and dikteases.

And therein lies the paradox of the broken bar/club scene today. Guys flood clubs in the vain hopes of attracting pvssy. Girls go to clubs to attention-***** and put up pictures on Facebook the next morning, and c*ckblock each other from hooking up. So the guys go home alone on yet another night. Sexually frustrated, they start fights with other guys.

I went to Club Miami (Atlanta, GA) last night and I kid you not that there were only THREE women there (Aside from waitresses and club staff) and I was glad to be in the VIP section away from the sausagefest!

And yet I live by a campus with a 2-to-1 girl-guy ratio. This is definitely not reflected in the sausagefest bars and clubs I frequent, where the ratio is flipped. So where are all the single girls? At home on a Friday night, watching Twilight for the 12th time. Not at the bars and clubs.

I try day game, but curse moving targets!

And here's the irony - I can't help think that there are still a lot of single, lonely girls out there. With women increasingly shunning bars and clubs, and online dating still carrying the stigma of a reserve for "desperate creepy guys", where is a girl to meet a quality man?

Most girls use the boyfriend or married defense for guys they aren't interested in. As if they're looking for Mr. Right.

And where is a man to meet a quality girl?

Use day game (If that's any helpful), or most of the time, you'll get lucky and meet someone when you least expect it. I got lucky in high school like this by helping my dad out during a college graduation (Ushering) and girls just started checking me out! I ended upsetting up a date with one after we bumped into each other in church the next day. I do believe in luck.

Read betwe- I think you know!

Coffeebazooka · Nov 9, 2010

HeyPachuco! said:
Anyway, can the guys from 2000-2003 do the honors of telling us how it was in clubs, or just generally hooking-up with chicks then? I never knew of any PUA stuff those years ago, so maybe you noticed a change way before FB and Myspace was out, where the PUA scene was making a surface, can anyone confirm this?

It was way, way different! I started go out at 1998, found pua the next year started applying it 2000 got loads of numbers and a few lays even though I looked like **** to begin with and didnt have social proof worth jack. I was WBAFC back then and this site got me laid! I stopped going out beginning of 2005 and began a little again at late 2009 and found that the game was messed up, all the **** I knew suddenly wasnt true anymore.

The attention whoring that so many women do nowadays was nearly nonexistant back then, you could talk to people a lot simpler and they wouldnt just get an impulse and leave mid sentence. There were more women out as well, nowadays there seem to be a lot more men. I just cant get my head wrapped around it to pinpoint all the **** that has changed.

What have struck me the most is the amount of fat girls or slightly overweight girls. There seem to be only one skinny girl for every ten girls. Lesser quality girls as well.

loveshogun · Nov 9, 2010

If you guys want to get more success out of clubs, you have to go in the right situations.

Can't go on a normal "everyone's going to the club because they have nothing better to do" night. You have to either do events (New Year's, concert after party, special guest DJ, etc etc), or...

... get on a boat.

I'm serious, I went on a cruise recently, and there were 2000 something passengers. Most girls were 18-22 there with family, or 26+ there by themselves.

There was one club on the boat. And it was bumpin' EVERY night til 4 in the morning. And EVERYONE was there to meet people.

But that's because of...

1) The urgency of only having 5 days to have fun - none of this "well, there's always next time" attitude.
2) People are on vacation and bring less of their hangups with them
3) We're all stuck in the same boat. One can only save face when they never have to see the other person again.

Anyways, just my two cents.

synergy1 · Nov 9, 2010

^^ above: agreed, but it goes without saying that vacations are easier to have random flings than real life. I got with a girl a few years ago on vacation who under normal circumstances probably wouldn't have done anything. By virtue of being on a vacation, ones inhibitions are thrown out the window.

I think we all have a general agreement on the current state of the bar/club scene. RT brings up a point about judging through a few venues, but I have been out to places this past year including Boston, DC, San Fran, San Diego, and noticed roughly similar trends. Generalizing very broadly saying there are more guys out than girls seems reasonable to me.

To put it in another light, look at my group of friends they usually hangs out on weekends. When Friday and Saturday roll around, we have options of sitting around or getting out of the house. The only options we have in the states are loud clubs. A bit of a digression is thinking back to my experience in Serbia where venues were open very late ( I could never stay up that late), and people would have 3 hour lunches and hang out at cafes in order to socialize. People didn't kick you out, and it was a great way to chill and enjoy good conversation with friends. I easily had more conversation in Serbia than I can in American venues..and most don't even speak my language!

Right now the best that the nightlife has to offer is networking via social circle. Make some new friends, have a few brews and enjoy the night. Ignore the beached whales and the jersey shore wannabes....enjoy being young!

loveshogun · Nov 9, 2010

synergy1 said:
Right now the best that the nightlife has to offer is networking via social circle. Make some new friends, have a few brews and enjoy the night. Ignore the beached whales and the jersey shore wannabes....enjoy being young!

Man, when I was in Ukraine... holy sh*t dude. Was staying in the center of Kyiv for my friend's wedding, and just spent the entire day drinking and telling jokes. A pint there costs roughly a dollar - good brews too.

And the women. I will always have a weak spot for Eastern Europeans. Maybe it's cause I was a cold war baby, and women from the commie countries were forbidden at the time.

Someone Much cooler · Nov 9, 2010

ok i have a biz that caters to clubs and nightlife. 1st clubs cater to females not men. girls can be attention *****s, but dont get it twisted they still want guys they are attracted to. Yes girls can get laid easier than men (generally speaking) but they cant always get laid by the guys tehy want, and if they can can they keep said guy around after the next morning? jus food for though.....okay basically chasing girls in the club is prehistoric, its played out like the NY knicks. its time to evolve, i perfer to meet girls though social networking. Ive gotten so many dates thru friends of friends. Expand your social group. The problem is to not get the reputation as a slore. I usually hold out for the hottest friend and then strike while the iron is hot.

badboyjmm · Nov 9, 2010

Well, sure it was better when I was going to U18 clubs, girls were coming to you to dance, you take the phone number and see what happens. Bars & Clubs are filled with guys (sometimes), but the real problem in my opinion is that those guys aren't doing anything. They drink a beer, look at pretty girls and get home saying:" Well this club sucks man, there was too many guys" or my favorite: " There was no pretty girls"

My friend used to say that all the time and I call him out and told him: '' well u never speak to anybody while you are out !!!!" his response: I do but you don't see it !!!!

Bars & Clubs are hard for hooking up because
-Guys are acting like little b!tches,
-Girls are always with their friends (= lots of c0ckblock)
-Texting, social network doesn't help
-There's a bunch of couples going out (especially on Saturday...)
-Girls aren't really looking to get laid (girls night out)

I'm pretty sure I'm missing a bunch of things, but my solution ?

Go out to check out bars on Sunday, Monday, Tuesday Wednesday
Why ?

-There's more girls than guys
-Girls are more friendly and wanna met people
-Music is not too loud and you can have a decent conversation

So go out on slower night or make a private get together, it's awesome !

Kerpal · Nov 10, 2010

I've really been noticing the sausagefest thing lately too. It seems to have gotten even worse in the last year or so. The last house party I attended had a higher than 3:1 ratio of guys to girls (yes, I actually went around and counted). All the house parties I go to are this way. Less than half the people who say they are coming actually show up, and the night eventually devolves into groups of 5-6 guys all pawing at the same girl, while 2 wannabe MMA bros in Tapout t-shirts are rolling around on the ground in the backyard strangling each other.

I go out to bars/clubs, and it's a similar sex ratio (not quite as bad as the house parties, maybe 2:1) with groups of 4-8 people standing in a football huddle talking exclusively to the people they showed up with and sending text messages every 5 minutes. The sex ratio increases as the night goes on, and on the way to my car I see more bros in Tapout t-shirts strangling each other in the parking lot.

The thing is, I live right next to a huge college campus with tens of thousands of students, and supposedly 55%+ of the students are female. My question is, where the **** are they?

Guys, Don't Waste Your Time & Money at Bars & Clubs - Here's Why

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