Girl (space) friend with boyfriend

Alright guys-

So I'm home for the summer, and one of my best girl friends that I've known since freshman year of HS (we're going to be seniors in college this fall) is home as well.

After graduating HS, we made out a couple times while hanging out when we were both single, but neither of us wanted a relationship and go to different schools. I don't mean to call her a prude, because I don't really know now, but that's about all you could expect to get from her at that time. She's the kind of girl you'd want to show your parents, homecoming and prom queen, nice, whatever.

Anyway, she's had a boyfriend since freshman year of college, which is cool and all and I'm completely respectful because she's one of my best friends. Her boyfriend lives a few hours away but is further away this summer, not driveable.

However, we've hung out a few times this summer, going out to lunch, we've gone out for drinks with some other friends together, and she came over and we watched some TV. She wasn't a drinker in HS, but she was like let's take a few shots. Nothing happened, but then the other night when we were all out at a bar, she was touching my arm and back a few times as she was sitting next to me.

While I am completely respectful and did not make any moves on her, I assumed her touching me gives permission to touch her in a similar manner, and I put my hand against the small of her back once when I was talking close to her (bar was loud). She BBMs (BlackBerry Messenger) me practically every day, and she asked what I was doing the other night and I said nothing, she replied, "I wish I was there to keep you company."

She is the one always asking me to hang out, and it's not that hard to notice her signals. I'd consider hooking up with her, but I definitely can't and don't want to make the move because that would completely ruin the friendship.

So, I suppose what I'm asking is how do I elevate the flirting a little bit and what's anyone's interpretation of the situation?

She's looking to slut it up this summer. She's giving ya the green light, so take what you want!

Quit being a vagina, and do it. Honestly though, Im guessing that your FZ'd and she's sending misinterpreting signals. Girls touch their 'friends' intimitely like that all the time. I've had chick friends that kiss me on the lips and put my hand on their boobs.

If you want to try to find out whether she has real interest, you might wanna start joking around sexually, and see her response.

An examples would be:

"Better stop that or we're gonna end up making out." judge her response.

My guess is that she'll say "I couldn't do that with you, you're too good of a friend." then you'll know your FZ'd. Forget about it.

Or, if your right about this, she might give you a subtle green light, that you need to pick up on quick. Or she might throw a shyt test to see if you have the balls to do it.

She might say something like "You'd love that, wouldn't you?" In which case you should reply with "Not as much as YOU would."

then you could say something like "I dare you."

DO NOT EVEN CONCERN YOURSELF ABOUT HER BF! Thats not your problem, and quit being 'respectful.' respectful is another way of saying 'nice guy, wuss bag.'

Also, flirt with other girls in front of her, and talk to her about them. "Do you think that chick likes me?" Keep in mind that if she gets jealous or even cokblocks you, its not always a sign that she wants you. It may be a sign that she thinks of you as HER little puppy dog, and just cuz she doesnt want to fvck you doesnt mean any other girl can, cuz then she'll lose her BGF.

horaholic said:

Quit being a vagina, and do it. Honestly though, Im guessing that your FZ'd and she's sending misinterpreting signals. Girls touch their 'friends' intimitely like that all the time.

DO NOT EVEN CONCERN YOURSELF ABOUT HER BF! Thats not your problem, and quit being 'respectful.' respectful is another way of saying 'nice guy, wuss bag.'

Also, flirt with other girls in front of her, and talk to her about them. "Do you think that chick likes me?" Keep in mind that if she gets jealous or even cokblocks you, its not always a sign that she wants you. It may be a sign that she thinks of you as HER little puppy dog, and just cuz she doesnt want to fvck you doesnt mean any other girl can, cuz then she'll lose her BGF.

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I appreciate your bluntness, I guess I should clarify. I don't care about her boyfriend. I met him once over 2 years ago and that's it. I respect her and our friendship, to the point that I do not want to put HER in an uncomfortable situation (looking at her BF's perspective, ok we're friends but if some guy tried to make a move on my GF I wouldn't want them to keep hanging out). That's the point I'm getting at. If she puts herself in that situation and comes onto me that's a completely different scenario and I'm all for that.

As expected, she BBM'd me tonight asking how my day was and we got to talking about the party I'm having Friday night. She was like, "if I drink too much can I stay at your house?"

Pause: I'm in college and still live with my parents during school breaks, at least for now. We've got a decent sized house, and people usually crash here when I have parties anyway so it's not like it would just be her staying at my apartment or something.

I said that was fine I don't want people drinking and driving, and we BBM'd some more, just BS.

Scion said:

She's looking to slut it up this summer. She's giving ya the green light, so take what you want!

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Just thought I'd update people on this-

I had that party last night, and she ended up staying since we were all drinking. It was time to go to bed and she was like "where can I sleep?" not wanting to sleep downstairs because one of my friends was hitting on her and she wasn't interested.

I was REALLY drunk and so was she, and at first I told her she could crash on the couch in my room, then when we got upstairs I said, "well you can sleep in the bed with me", some clothes came off and there was some fooling around.

This morning she had to leave early but we were texting earlier and here's a portion:

Her: do you remember last night haha
Me: yes although i was hammered and i assume you do as well since you asked
Her:Yep lol oops. Our secret?
Me: i didn't hate it but i can keep a secret.
Her: Haha k good. obvi i didn't either

Then she changed the subject. I'd definitely hook up with her again.

Told ya. All girls are sluts and have no problem cheating on their boyfriends. I have a personal story similar to this if you want to hear (although I was a huge pvssy at the time and didn't take advantage of the situation even though there were clear signs).

I had a similar situation to YoungHOV, except that we were bothe extremely drunk, and she didn't remember the next day. We continued to hang out, sleep together, but never "hooked up" again. then her BF finally had a blowout and i don't talk to her anymore.

My question is, when you do hook up with a close female freind, and want a repeat, or better yet get rid of the bf, is it better to mention that something happend if she doesn't, or just not say a word and continue with business as usual?

volkme68 said:

I had a similar situation to YoungHOV, except that we were bothe extremely drunk, and she didn't remember the next day. We continued to hang out, sleep together, but never "hooked up" again. then her BF finally had a blowout and i don't talk to her anymore.

My question is, when you do hook up with a close female freind, and want a repeat, or better yet get rid of the bf, is it better to mention that something happend if she doesn't, or just not say a word and continue with business as usual?

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Why do you say better yet get rid of the BF? Would you want to be with someone who cheated on their current significant other with you? Not good to start a relationship based on lies in my opinion.

As for your question, I'd keep it business as usual.

Scion-sure, post the story. I love swapping stories like these.

Cool, I'll post it later when I can type on a actual keyboard (on my phone right now).

YoungHOV said:

Why do you say better yet get rid of the BF? Would you want to be with someone who cheated on their current significant other with you? Not good to start a relationship based on lies in my opinion.

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I agree, let me clarify with this particular girl. She didn't have a BF when we met, her and I got really close, I had a chance, and was too big a ***** at the time to make the move. She started seeing this guy, but nothing official when things happend between us. then they went on to date, i got freinded. he got jealous of me, went crazy....long story.

My situation was a little different, and my own fault. I got burned and learned my lesson.( other than my current thread on here it seems)

Listen, Don't be looking for a bf-gf relationship now.
since you know she isn't behind keeping secret sex partners in a relationship.


I fooled around with a girl in a long distance relationship and cheated with her. Believe me. You will never trust her as a gf having relationships with other guys.

She is strictly an f- buddy or a friends with benefits...... if you want to keep your heart and balls in tact.

Jblitz59 said:

Listen, Don't be looking for a bf-gf relationship now.
since you know she isn't behind keeping secret sex partners in a relationship.


I fooled around with a girl in a long distance relationship and cheated with her. Believe me. You will never trust her as a gf having relationships with other guys.

She is strictly an f- buddy or a friends with benefits...... if you want to keep your heart and balls in tact.

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Yeah, I know. We go to different schools and I've tried the LDR, not for me.

Update here:

So she BBMs me yesterday and we were talking about how drunk one of our friends was the other night (he passed out on a lawn chair and went black-out swimming). At this point, the conversation goes like this:

Her: Now that I know how drunk he was are you sure you remember what we did?
Me: Yeah, do you want me to tell you in detail?
Her: Haha, I mean if you want to relive the moment
Her: You know what was a big deal for me
Me: I understand, and I said that night I would do it again
Her: I know you would

Then she changed the subject. So, is she looking for seconds? She didn't say no, so I'm thinking she's interested, but doesn't want to outright plan on cheating on her boyfriend. Thoughts?

Scion said:

Told ya. All girls are sluts and have no problem cheating on their boyfriends. I have a personal story similar to this if you want to hear (although I was a huge pvssy at the time and didn't take advantage of the situation even though there were clear signs).

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i as well am in a situation almost identical to this..thats really funny

YoungHOV said:

Update here:

So she BBMs me yesterday and we were talking about how drunk one of our friends was the other night (he passed out on a lawn chair and went black-out swimming). At this point, the conversation goes like this:

Her: Now that I know how drunk he was are you sure you remember what we did?
Me: Yeah, do you want me to tell you in detail?
Her: Haha, I mean if you want to relive the moment
Her: You know what was a big deal for me
Me: I understand, and I said that night I would do it again
Her: I know you would

Then she changed the subject. So, is she looking for seconds? She didn't say no, so I'm thinking she's interested, but doesn't want to outright plan on cheating on her boyfriend. Thoughts?

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yeah, she's looking for seconds. You better rail her this time!!

And as promised, here's my story. Keep in mind this happened almost 2 years ago and I was a huge pvssy and wouldn't make a move. I did discover sites like this one at around this time so I had been reading the basics but didn't believe the true nature of women (I thought the chick I'm gonna talk about was a good girl, such a joke now). So no need to call me a pvssy or anything, just posting this for laughs.

So this is about this chick I was into (we'll call her S). Not a oneitis, but we've always had some sexual tension between us and ppl were always trying to get me to ask her out, but being a pvssy I never could get to guts to (and ppl said I was in love with her, but that's not quite right, didn't feel that strongly about her).

Fast forward to her bday 2 years ago. She had been in a relationship with some guy for about 2-3 months at the time (he was a ok guy, but didn't see what she saw in him, but meh). Me and her have a lot of the same friends so I agreed to go to her celebrations thinking that there would be lots of ppl I knew. The plan was to go to a bar earlier in the night then head to a club later. I show up at the bar and it's only her, 4-5 of her girlfriends, and her girlfriends' boyfriends (didn't know anyone except for her). Err, this is already starting out well [/sarcasm]. Not many of her friends were very chatty with me except for 1 girl and 2 of the boyfriends. Her friends were questioning who I was and where her boyfriend was (he didn't want to come or something, weird but not really my concern).

So me and S go to get something for the group to drink. We come back with 2 of these 50oz pitchers of beer. Most of S's friends don't drink much, me and S finished off 1 pitcher while her friend's finished off the second. Half way through our pitcher I tell S to come with me to get her bday present. We go to the bar, I order us up a line of shots. Me and her share them, talk a bit, bit of kino, go back to her friends. At about this time her friends are just leaving me and her alone, they were basically just talking amongst themselves (maybe it had something to do with us flirting with each other). We finish off our drinks and it's time to head to the clubs. We're on our way out and some girl stops us. She knows S and wants us to have a shot with her (just me and S). She buys us our shots, we take them, and she tells me to take good care of S (S just giggles and says "he's just a friend", lol @ that answer considering what happens later).

So we get to the club, I pay the cover for me and S. She pulls me to the bar, buys both of us a drink, then pulls me onto the dance floor once her friends get in. We dance, she's grinding on me, she's pushing me away and then pulling me back in. She seemed to be having a good time, giggling. Anyway, because of her grinding I got hard. She must of felt it with her ass, because she runs her hand on my c0ck, turns around, smiles and giggles and pulls me back in.

After dancing we move around the club a bit, go outside with her friends, have a smoke. Her friends start leaving one by one. None of them asked her if she'd like a ride home (hmmm?). Eventually it's just me and her. We're dancing on and off, it starts to get a bit more sexual (more grinding, less goofing around). I have to go to the washroom, so leave her at the bar. Come back and she's talking to some guy (I assume he bought her a drink since she has a fresh one). Walk up to them and some short dorky guy gets in my way. He tells me to back off because his friend is taking her home. I laugh, and move the guy aside (I'm like twice his size). Walk up to S and the guy, introduce myself to the guy, and whisper into S's ear (basically said let's ditch this guy and hit the dance floor). She gets me to drink the rest of her drink, she thanks the guy and we head out. She's pretty wasted by this time, rubbing me all over. She then starts grinding on my leg, trying to get herself off I suppose, lol. It's pretty hot. But then a bouncer comes up and says that S is too drunk and we'll have to leave (like really? never seen a bouncer kick a girl out for being drunk on the dance floor. I'd understand if she threw up but really?).

So we leave. And this is where I really pvssed out. What I should have done at this point was take a cab to my place, escalate, profit. But being the pvssy I am, I'm thinking "No, she has a boyfriend, this is wrong". So I cab us to her place, thinking she'd let me crash on the couch. Nope, big mistake. Not only did she seem displeased, but she wouldn't let me stay. So there I am, waiting for the buses to start running for 2 hours.

Oh, and the next day she calls me to "talk" but I'm tired and tell her I'd call her the next day. I call her the next day and she doesn't answer. Try her a couple of times that week and nothing. Since then I maybe have sent her a mass txt once a month. She doesn't talk to me for 8 months, lol. And finally when she does call me again and we make plans to hang out, I end up not showing up, lol (not on purpose though, I forgot what time we were meeting). And then again she doesn't talk to me til last week when I sent her a txt for the long wknd (we may do something soon, though I'm not betting on it).

So there's my story. Kinda long, but mildly entertaining.

Good story. Earlier in life I would have done the same thing.

So she came over tonight, just stopped by on her way home from work before she went to hang out with one of her friends. We were talking, and got on the subject of what happened this past weekend (I ate her out, and she jerked me off, but she has never given head-I believe her)

The gist of what she said:

I'm still kind of like "holy **** did that happen?" but I feel bad, my boyfriend has only done that to me once, it was fun/I liked it, I'd probably have to be drunk again (not a couple minutes later she said "maybe I'd have to be drunk", :crackup: )

She also said she can't do it all the time because she will feel too bad? Who knows, her body language definitely told me she was still into me.

Since she's never given head, how would I even go about getting it?

Regents halfback 22 said:

stop questioning hold your ground next and bang her end of story, good sh!t though and good grab

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Thanks, but she's a virgin and says she's waiting til marriage. Second part I'm not so sure about, but I've known her long enough and known a couple of her boyfriends to believe her.

She's a senior in college and she's still a virgin? Wth? Either she's ugly, is damaged, or has weird beliefs. I don't think I know any girl that kept her virginity past 20. Weird. And what's with her boyfriend being with her all this time and only getting a handjob (since that would be the best he'd get if she's never giving a *******). I say next time you guys are getting down you start to eat her out, then whip out your **** and tell her to suck it. Let her do that for a couple minutes, then go back to eating her out and just try to put it in.

flirt with her like a single women. If you want to maintain your respectful appearance, dont do it by being an AFC and not flirting with a girl your attracted to, do it by giving her last minute resistance like when she has your c*ck in her hand, tell her its too bad she has a bf otherwise you would let her play with it more. Then dont wait for an answer and give her a hard core make out session and a deep d!cking

sorry didnt read that you fooled around.... what are you waiting for, bang her... your little secret.

First of all, is this girl tight? Did you try at least sticking a finger in? If she's tight, then there is a chance she is a virgin. But you really believe girls? I think alot of girls are bullsh$tters, you can't trust any of them. I've had girls check me out once their boyfriends/husbands look in another direction, that's how shady they are! But who knows