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Old 04-29-2010, 08:17 AM   #1
YT827
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Should I break up with my girlfriend?

I've been seeing this girl for 2 months whom I'm beginning to really adore. She's in school and applying to medical school for next year. She has an internship 3000 miles away in another state and will be away all summer.

I'll be 26 in a couple months and I'm really looking for some stability in my life. I have a career and I'm pretty much rooted in the city where I work. There's a possibility she may be accepted in a medical school far away.

This is my first real girlfriend. I've only had very short term relationships in the past. I feel as though this separation will be a bad thing for our relationship. Even though she says she'll stay commited to me and we'll pick up where we left off when she gets back. I don't want to go the whole summer alone. I was hoping that I'll be with someone to enjoy the warm weather with but it's not going to happen.

Should I break up with her?

If I decide to keep the relationship going, how can I do so? I can afford to visit her once or twice.

Do you think it's possible for a woman to be faithful in a situation like this? She will meet new people and we all know females are driven by emotion.

How can I stop meting girls that are in school? It seems like every girl I dated has a life that's not settled. She's either in school and really busy, not from the area and not sure if she'll stay, or wants to travel endlessly. I don't want a bum, but I do want a girl that's going to be around for a while. Do I just have to live with this since girls in their twenties are very unsettled?
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Old 04-29-2010, 09:02 AM   #2
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2 months isn't "short term"??
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Old 04-29-2010, 09:05 AM   #3
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Dear YT,
Happened to us all.......look don't be sad,you learn something from every relationship and are richer when you move on........Look the chances of your relationship developing is slim,but possible....does not absence make the heart grow fonder?.....So don't break off,just part as ships that pass in the night,knowing that there will be a few reunions at least,and these are rather beautiful....But,but,but,soon as you see her Plane Flying off into the Wide Blue Yonder,get out your little black book and make sure your bed is not cold for too long.
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Old 04-29-2010, 09:47 AM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by squirrels
2 months isn't "short term"??

Are you trying to offer advice or point out I'm an idiot for asking these questions?
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Old 04-29-2010, 09:51 AM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by YT827
Are you trying to offer advice or point out I'm an idiot for asking these questions?

A little of both.

Maybe I'm bass-ackwards, but I don't see 2 months as being a "long-term relationship". And I also don't believe that you didn't see this coming...a girl would know if in 2 months she was leaving.

In answer to your question...yeah, you do kind of have to expect college-girls to be "unsettled" and expect them to move around a little. Really not a lot you can do. Sure you can "visit" on a casual basis, but as far as making a "committed relationship" work...you're p!ssing into the wind.
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Old 04-29-2010, 09:57 AM   #6
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I'd have to agree with squirrels here.
Not only is it pissing into the wind, but it's pissing into an F-5 tornado coming straight at you.

She's promising that she'll be faithful... yeah, right.
Once other options pop up for the TWO of you, then faithfulness will be thrown out the window... unless... you're Luke Skywalker in disguise.

If she moves, it's pretty much over with. Just because she's your first girlfriend, it doesn't mean she is your last.

But, I do have to ask... you've only known her for 2 months and you're already exclusive?

And you're only 26. That's right... ONLY 26. Why do you feel the need for stability at this point? And who said you can't enjoy the summer with someone. Just look for someone else to enjoy it with. That defeatist attitude will get you nowhere.

And even if you are by yourself, enjoy it anyway. You never know who you might meet.
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Old 04-29-2010, 10:25 AM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kailex
I'd have to agree with squirrels here.
Not only is it pissing into the wind, but it's pissing into an F-5 tornado coming straight at you.

She's promising that she'll be faithful... yeah, right.
Once other options pop up for the TWO of you, then faithfulness will be thrown out the window... unless... you're Luke Skywalker in disguise.

If she moves, it's pretty much over with. Just because she's your first girlfriend, it doesn't mean she is your last.

But, I do have to ask... you've only known her for 2 months and you're already exclusive?

And you're only 26. That's right... ONLY 26. Why do you feel the need for stability at this point? And who said you can't enjoy the summer with someone. Just look for someone else to enjoy it with. That defeatist attitude will get you nowhere.

And even if you are by yourself, enjoy it anyway. You never know who you might meet.

I don't find dating fun. I can't sleep around and not develop feelings. I hate to go back to square one and deal with women's bullsh*t.

She mentioned she was going back home for the summer, but I thought it was just to visit family and sh*t. She just recently told me an internship she applied for there came through. She was planning to visit family for a couple of weeks.
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Old 04-29-2010, 10:42 AM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by YT827
I don't find dating fun. I can't sleep around and not develop feelings. I hate to go back to square one and deal with women's bullsh*t.

She mentioned she was going back home for the summer, but I thought it was just to visit family and sh*t. She just recently told me an internship she applied for there came through. She was planning to visit family for a couple of weeks.

You've known her two months.
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Old 04-29-2010, 11:35 AM   #9
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Okay, **** it. I'll break up with her. I'll **** her the next 3 weeks and tell her it's over the last day she's over.
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Old 04-29-2010, 11:35 AM   #10
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Okay, **** it. I'll break up with her. I'll **** her the next 3 weeks and tell her it's over the last day she's over.
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Old 04-29-2010, 11:50 AM   #11
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Wait a minute. Do each of you consider each other boyfriend and girlfriend? I mean already. After only 2 months. You've committed to being exclusive with her?

If already agreed to be exclusive with her, then you could try fvcking her the next 3 weeks and then tell her that long-distance relationships are hard and that you think it would be best to see other people and that if you are meant to be together, then everything will work out in the end.

If you haven't agreed to be exclusive with her, then you could say nothing and not break up with her and then just start seeing other women once she leaves and then see what happens with her.
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Old 04-29-2010, 12:15 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Donnie Darko
Wait a minute. Do each of you consider each other boyfriend and girlfriend? I mean already. After only 2 months. You've committed to being exclusive with her?

If already agreed to be exclusive with her, then you could try fvcking her the next 3 weeks and then tell her that long-distance relationships are hard and that you think it would be best to see other people and that if you are meant to be together, then everything will work out in the end.

If you haven't agreed to be exclusive with her, then you could say nothing and not break up with her and then just start seeing other women once she leaves and then see what happens with her.

Yes, we consider each other BF/GF. She wants and says she'll be committed to me for the couple months she's away but this website has made me cynical when it comes to women.
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Old 04-29-2010, 12:33 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by YT827
I can't sleep around and not develop feelings.

Alcohol helps.

Quote:
Originally Posted by YT827
Okay, **** it. I'll break up with her. I'll **** her the next 3 weeks and tell her it's over the last day she's over.

You don't have to be a d!ck about it...you can probably still see her if she comes home for the summer. Just don't expect to be able to maintain a LDR.

See how it goes. Date around some in the meantime, though...and cut her loose to do the same. Maybe you'll end up together. Just don't dwell on it.
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Old 04-29-2010, 01:21 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Scaramouche
Dear YT, Happened to us all.......look don't be sad,you learn something from every relationship and are richer when you move on........Look the chances of your relationship developing is slim,but possible....does not absence make the heart grow fonder?.....So don't break off,just part as ships that pass in the night,knowing that there will be a few reunions at least,and these are rather beautiful....But,but,but,soon as you see her Plane Flying off into the Wide Blue Yonder,get out your little black book and make sure your bed is not cold for too long.

YT-

Listen to Scaramouche, he's been around the block. A few tips from someone who's also been there:

-Go with the flow. Dont fight it or try to force something into happening.
-Dont expect things to "pick up where they left off" when she gets back. Life doesnt work that way.
-You might have feelings for her--which is ok--but you're not in love. You've been dating two months.
-DO NOT try to maintain a relationship with someone going to medical school!!! School will literally be her life and you cant compete with that. It will be #1, and you will be #2 if you're lucky. Is that how you want to live?
- When she leaves, tlak to other girls and try to get new dates going. I know it will feel immoral, but you guys arent at that level of commitment where you are each other's one and only. Dont think for a second she wont be meeting other guys where she is going. Not saying she'll fvck them, but every woman needs male attention.

Best of luck.
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Old 04-29-2010, 01:42 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Colossus
YT-

Listen to Scaramouche, he's been around the block. A few tips from someone who's also been there:

-Go with the flow. Dont fight it or try to force something into happening.
-Dont expect things to "pick up where they left off" when she gets back. Life doesnt work that way.
-You might have feelings for her--which is ok--but you're not in love. You've been dating two months.
-DO NOT try to maintain a relationship with someone going to medical school!!! School will literally be her life and you cant compete with that. It will be #1, and you will be #2 if you're lucky. Is that how you want to live?
- When she leaves, tlak to other girls and try to get new dates going. I know it will feel immoral, but you guys arent at that level of commitment where you are each other's one and only. Dont think for a second she wont be meeting other guys where she is going. Not saying she'll fvck them, but every woman needs male attention.

Best of luck.

Thank you.
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Old 04-29-2010, 02:45 PM   #16
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Sh!t
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Old 04-29-2010, 02:45 PM   #17
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Old 04-29-2010, 04:48 PM   #18
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What if I stuck with this girl through medical school? She graduates and make a lot of money. Wouldn't that be in my benefit?

Does it always have to be about spinning plates? Things are really good with us except for her education goals. I can't imagine every girl has evil plans and cheats. From the time spent on these forums, one would believe females would drop any man for something better without blinking an eye.
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Old 04-29-2010, 05:08 PM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by YT827
What if I stuck with this girl through medical school? She graduates and make a lot of money. Wouldn't that be in my benefit?

Yes it may well be to your benefit, however you will then be living in the shadow of HER success and her accomplishments.
She will be the provider, and you will consume resources that she has earned.
Some of you Gen Y boys really bother me. You have bought into the brainwashing of gender equality and the interchangeability of roles - roles that have worked for thousands of years.
Get a grip, man.

Women join men' lives, NOT the other way around.

This women is telling you that she wants to pursue her vision MORE than she wants to be in a relationship with you. To her credit, she has a plan and some goals and she intends to pursue them..

What about you ? What are your goals ?
What are you going to create?
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Old 04-29-2010, 05:21 PM   #20
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Try again. I had about 10 posts pop up. She sin't going to have time to really date in Med school. It CAN work,but don't hold your breath. She will be spending HOURS studying. IF you try to see her too much,she'll flunk out. So,you could be as good a BF as she has time for anyway.Not to say she won't have time for sex,just not a clingy BF. The one downside to "making it work"-I've seen how some MD's treat their husbands,IF you don't want to have your "balls in her purse"-you'll have to really keep the frame
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