Extremely confused with this woman!

lll

go bite her shoulder with the purring noise sometime... see what that brings

Juicyjays said:

She has a lot of guy friends as well, thought I'd put that in there too.

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LoL reading through your post I had an 'attention wh0re alert' pop up in my mind and that last sentence right there pretty much confirms my suspicions. She's using you for attention/validation/ego boost. Your only chance with her is to ignore her and make her jealous by using other girls.

/thread

Well for one,you don't seem agressive enough.


I don't even know what the point of you two keeping in contact with one another is.


All you two do is give the other excuses for not being about to see one another.


It's ridiculous if you ask me.


And that thing she said about you being exactly like her,only you have a penis....I don't know if that's a good thing or not.




You say she has a lot of guy friends. Well,unless you plan on being the next addition to that group,you need to stop playing around and be serious if you SERIOUSLY want to date her.



Otherwise you two can just continue playing "cat and mouse" until she meets someone SHE DOES WANT to seriously get involved with.

You made it sooo easy for her...

What I mean?

Why did you have to say what you did when you were sitting downstairs? Why did you have to explain yourself once again for not going to that party? You are a human being and you need rest! That's it! What happened here is that you made yourself looked like you were apologizing to her for being tired! lol!

After that, you continue being wrong by calling her! I mean, you had called her only once in the past and the 2nd time was after that? Looks like someone feels guilty for something and is trying to make things up! Which he shouldn't!

What she was prolly thinking was: "Hmm, that's a nice guy I should try doing something with him!" "Wtf? Why he is not calling me? why he is different that all the other guys who are after me? (since she is gorgeous as you said) What's special about him?" then you do what you do and she feels like she has someone explaining himself for nothing and the thinking continues, "Why is he trying to apologize? I only made a joke for not coming lol! He is propably like all the other AFCs so I was just wrong, Next time"

Now I don't know if I'm right but that's what I think happened here!

What you have to do is certainly not going straight up to her and say "I like you", she already knows or you made her think that she knows! What you have to do here is continue doing what you were doing before that party invitation! Make her doubt about it!

It's pretty difficult now but that's what I would do!

Good luck, have fun!

Wow, you are 100% right. I blew it right there when I literally apologized for not coming, hence why she's blowing me off now.

Haha, I gotta laugh. At least I learned a lesson from all of this. I'm most likely in the friend territory now.

Sort of sucks, really liked this chick a lot. Take it there is no solution to this situation?

Thanks for the advice.

Already been said, continue doing what you were doing before the party invitation! Get lost out of her life again! Be seen fooling around but not with her! It's easy to do so but difficult to accomplish what you want since I think you're already been nexted!

llll

You're just not a MAN going for what you want...

This is the mindset I have..."Every chick is trying to win me over by impressing me in both subtle and drastic ways, regardless how illogical it may seem"

A chick bit my shoulder and make a "Purrr" sound is going to a "Roar" from me. The thing is you fail to create moments. You aren't the REACTOR, your the CREATOR.

I'm surprised she didn't give up so fast. You're just completely unaware of things.

Juicyjays said:

Hello,

I'm a 22 year old apprentice cook who is trying to get out of the AFC slump. Been reading articles on this forum for awhile now, so I thought I'd finally grow some balls and finally try to land me a girl (I've never had a girlfriend).

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Are you a virgin?

Juicyjays said:

One night she came up behind me, sort of bit my shoulder (made a purring noise), gave me her card and walked away.

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Translation = Give me a call, tiger!

Juicyjays said:

That night, she calls me unexpectedly out of the blue telling me she forgot to thank me for giving her a joint (which she actually thanked me for at work) and she asked if I wanted to come over to her place.

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Translation = come and play with me.

She bypassed the whole dating/courting process, and threw you into the world series stage.

Juicyjays said:

I agreed. I went over and she sat pretty far away from me which was strange (my own fault, I should of sat beside her).. we talked non stop for 5 hours, then I went home. I think I was a bit of a wuss there and should of at least attempted to sit right beside her to test her comfort zone.

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What the hell do you talk about for 5 hours? What took her so long to realize you were not gonna make a move?

Test her confort zone???? If a broad invites you over to her house, at night, alone, you can bet she's not doing it to show off her purse collection. She expected you to make a physical move on her and you didn't see it.

THIS IS WHERE YOU DROPPED THE BALL, and you can blame everything else on this one thing.

MEMO #1: YOU REJECTED HER. That is how she sees it.

Juicyjays said:

I say I'm over at my friends, helping him out, and that I'm gonna go home in a bit. She texts me again and says "you should come.. its fun," but by then I was way too exhausted, so I had to tell her I couldn't, was just way too beat. She messages me back saying "You let me down..lol".

Click to expand...

MEMO #2: YOU REJECTED HER FOR THE SECOND TIME!!!

Juicyjays said:

We were supposed to hang out the day after, so I call her (2nd time I've ever called her, I let her call me instead) and ask her if she wants to chill. She says she's christmas shopping and that 'maybe if i went out, i'd be hanging out with her right there'. Dunno if she was joking or not.

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If you have something set, you don't ask if she wants to chill. You tell her, "Hey, what time will you be ready?", after she said she was shopping, you ask, "What time will you be home?". Always lead. She even proceeded to hint at you to be persistent and tell her you want to see her.

MEMO #3: SHE WANTED YOU TO MAN UP AND TAKE CHARGE. She was already thinking, "he's young and just doesn't get it", this just confirmed it for her.

Juicyjays said:

Next day at work, she gives me the cold shoulder for a bit, and we were sitting downstairs and I told her "You know, I really wanted to go and hang out with you, but I had to get some rest. I hope you understand."

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Noooooooooooo! Very very bad. That came across as very weak and supplicating. Had you done it before, on the spot, without sounding apologetic, it might have not been as bad, but once you are doing it because you think she's being cold to you, you are only asking for trouble. You are acting very predictably, like her many trained doggies.

Juicyjays said:

Then I say "You wanted me there, didn't you?" She smiles and says she'll give me another chance. Mind you this girl is extremely hard to read. She is always smiling, even when she's stressed out (she's told me this).

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You gave her no choice but to stat playing games with you.

Juicyjays said:

She drives me home and says something to me.

"You know, you are just like me, exactly like me, except you have a penis." I had no idea what the hell to say.

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Translation: I am acting like the guy, chasing you, and you are not being masculine and assertive, but difficlut, passive and clueless. Role reversal.

Juicyjays said:

She asks me if I wanna go for coffee tommorow, I say sure, no problem. She then calls me the day of telling me that she dosen't feel like it now since she's so tired (oddly enough), she'd rather go home and hang out by herself with her girlfriend.

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This is the area where you had no business allowing this situation to get to. A more experienced DJ could still salvage this one, but you don't seem to pick up on the most obvious signs she was consistently throwing at you earlier.

Juicyjays said:

I tell her she's missing out and she says laughing "Karma's a biotch isn't it??," she tells me she can hang out with me on Wendesday at 2pm, I say "Are you for sure this time?" She says yes.

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Talk about a major demotion there. Going from being with her alone at her house one night, to coffee at 2pm. That's like going from the major leagues to playing high school baseball. There is nothing sexy about coffee after being in her house with her practically throwing herself at you.

Expect her to distance herself from you from now on. Convo at coffee will be very casual, and friendly, with possible hints at how "you're so cute", "I see you like brother", "We need to find you a girl". Could be wrong, though.

Anything you do, you need to push towards getting together with her at night, alone, like you did before.

Juicyjays said:

If she blows me off again, I'll take it as a rejection and move on.

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If she blows you off, you make one last effort and demand she make it up to you. And suggest getting together at her house. If you make it there again, you make a move and give her what she wants.

Juicyjays said:

I'm sorry for the lengthy post, but am I doing something wrong here? Is she pissed I blew her off that night?

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SHE IS PISSED YOU DIDN'T MAKE A MOVE ON HER. Women don't like rejection any more than we do. They dislike even more when they put it out there and the guy doesn't even see the obvious.

Juicyjays said:

She must know I am interested in her, or do I have to have the balls and come out and tell her I like her? I just started to get to know her and I am pretty shy when it comes to making a move, it's hard for me to tell when is the right time.

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She knows you are interested in her, but she also knows you don't know what the score is. Don't tell her you like her. That won't change her mind. At this point, it is all about doing. If you can get her alone again, you give it to her. Whatever you do, don't tell her you like her.

I suggest you look up the thread here on SS "Most Obvious Sign That Was Missed" and learn from it.

Juicyjays said:

She has a lot of guy friends as well, thought I'd put that in there too.

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Off course she does. She's social and knows a lot of men. She's a bartender. She's hot and popular. A lot of those men are just friends that also were wusses and/or didn't know how to pick up on her signals. She puts most men through alot of rituals before letting them see her naked. She gave you a small window of opportunity to get freeky, you let it pass.

I'll tell u straight up, you blew up by being a wuss when you went to her place and didn't F close her. Talking with her for 5 hours is a AFC's game. F closing her for an hour is a DJ's game.

Seriously you need to grow some balls. This girl showed massive IOI's for you and you somehow mess it up. At what point will you get it? Does she need to lie on a bed nude and spread her legs for you before you get the picture?

Yeah bro, sory but thats the harsh truth from the guys above.

You blew it when you did nothing for 5 hours.

Think about it

Just say YOU invited a girl over to YOUR house to watch movies

She sits on the OPPOSITE side of the couch and doesnt talk and watch the movies

THats the equvilent of you sitting and talking DISTANTLY for 5 hours.
THATS CHUMPY man, wouldnt you be dissapointed.

You need to get kino'ing, grow some balls. and blow her hair back if you get a chance. Try get her back to her place again alone, and this time from the bat get sexual and escalate!

Do not listen to anyone else in this thread. Read this:

I'M 99.99% SURE THIS GIRL IS PLAYING YOU FOR ATTENTION. IF YOU WANT TO HIT THAT, YOU HAVE TO IGNORE HER AND PLAY JEALOUSY GAMES.

If you HAD tried to make a move she would've pushed you away and said something along the lines of "I thought we were just friends" then proceeded to string you along with mixed signals for an ego boost.

That is all.

lll

katatonia said:

Do not listen to anyone else in this thread. Read this:

I'M 99.99% SURE THIS GIRL IS PLAYING YOU FOR ATTENTION. IF YOU WANT TO HIT THAT, YOU HAVE TO IGNORE HER AND PLAY JEALOUSY GAMES.

If you HAD tried to make a move she would've pushed you away and said something along the lines of "I thought we were just friends" then proceeded to string you along with mixed signals for an ego boost.

That is all.

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Don't be telling him to disregard everyone else's opinion. Everyone has a different opinion and no one has the "right" answer. It's up to the OP to decide who's advice is useful and who's isn't.

I might have to agree with you though. The HB did came on to him quite strong. But regardless, he shouldve still made the move while at her place instead of conversating for 5 hours. Whether he gets rejected or not is irrelevant. "You miss 100% of the chances you don't take".

katatonia said:

Do not listen to anyone else in this thread. Read this:

I'M 99.99% SURE THIS GIRL IS PLAYING YOU FOR ATTENTION. IF YOU WANT TO HIT THAT, YOU HAVE TO IGNORE HER AND PLAY JEALOUSY GAMES.

If you HAD tried to make a move she would've pushed you away and said something along the lines of "I thought we were just friends" then proceeded to string you along with mixed signals for an ego boost.

That is all.

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The above quote is crap. If you're going to ignore her, then completly ignore her and move on. Forget her if you're going to ignore her.

AND

Since when did playing jealousy games ever make you a man, if anything it would make you more of a woman. People are here to become men, not women. Only AFC and symps would do wacked out sh1t such as going around making girls jealous.

Rejection is better than regret so i would personally go and make a move and find out what my position is. If i was to get rejected, then oh well i'll move on and stop letting this b!tch run my life. On the other hand if it worked out, well i would take it from there.

Time can be better spent than on a woman that isn't giving you anything in return.