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Old 11-27-2009, 02:26 AM   #1
oboman
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If your wife threatens a divorce, how do you handle?

Any married man here?

I'm no where near a don juan, which is why my wife threatens to divorce me. I know no fault, but how would you guys here handle such situation?

Thanks for any tips and input.
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Old 11-27-2009, 03:37 AM   #2
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Act like you don't care and beat her to the punch, or threaten to.
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Old 11-27-2009, 03:38 AM   #3
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Read my thread about "Counselors..". There is a message in there for you.

Here is a tip - never submit to threats, or obey demands for blackmail money, or negotiate with terrorists.
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Last edited by jophil28 : 11-27-2009 at 04:04 PM.
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Old 11-27-2009, 05:04 AM   #4
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My opinion is that once a woman even brings up the D word, it is GOING to happen, it's just a matter of time. I would start preparing for the eventuality, squirreling away cash that she won't know about or is able to get to. I don't think a bank account is safe for this, because her lawyer may be able to find it?

As Jophil says, you can't give in to threats. If there are legitimate issues, you can try to work these out, but not under threat of divorce.

Last edited by zekko : 11-27-2009 at 08:52 AM.
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Old 11-27-2009, 06:01 AM   #5
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I agree with the above advice. Threatening to divorce you is their final trump card - it's like a man giving you a sucker punch. You can either fold and become her b*tch or you can fight back by accepting.

You owe her nothing now and need to contact your lawer to protect your interests. Its going to be a rollercoaster ride from now on mate - read my thread in the tips section on how to handle the actual event and welcome to the club.
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Old 11-27-2009, 08:13 AM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by oboman
Any married man here?

I'm no where near a don juan, which is why my wife threatens to divorce me. I know no fault, but how would you guys here handle such situation?

Thanks for any tips and input.

Play along nicely, do whatever she needs. Do so only to BUY YOURSELF TIME. If she's making threats it's time to leave. What you should be doing is transferring your assets overseas or to family, building up a nest egg to cover the divorce, and make damn sure you both have separate accounts and she's got her own job. If you can take a lower paying job that brings you closer to parity in pay, assuming she makes less, then do that as well. The system is completely biased against men and you need to protect yourself, as well as your assets and future income.

Check out Fire Your Wife and then read these books:

Taken Into Custody by Dr. Stephen Baskerville

That B!tch: How to protect yourself

Nolo's Essential Guide to Divorce

Last edited by Nutz : 11-27-2009 at 10:40 AM.
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Old 11-27-2009, 09:01 AM   #7
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I think it's a little premature to contact a lawyer. Lawyers cost money.
But I agree with Nutz, play along nicely to buy yourself time, that sounds like solid advice.
I don't think a divorce is necessarily imminent, but it is likely inevitable.
It could be months, or years, before she pulls the trigger.
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Old 11-27-2009, 09:06 AM   #8
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"There's the door".
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Old 11-27-2009, 09:59 AM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by squirrels
"There's the door".


Exactly. That is the perfect response.
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Old 11-27-2009, 10:42 AM   #10
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Exactly. That is the perfect response.


ONLY once you have your ducks in a row. If she does like the OP says, then he does like I said above, and then in 6 months when she starts up again with threatening divorce he should go for it. Just make sure he files first.
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Old 11-27-2009, 10:44 AM   #11
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I agree with above. One to two times a week from now on goto the grocery store buy 5$ in grocerys and take out an extra 50-60$ in cash, give it to your brother or someone you trust. Once she files the paper work she is going to start tracking all the money. She might still love you but no longer respects you, start worrying about YOU..
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Old 11-27-2009, 02:04 PM   #12
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Flip every possible asset you can into cash, then give it to someone you trust.

Split up the accounts, make sure all credit cards are in her name.

Then next time she brings it up...take squirrels advice.

Make sure SHE leaves, not you. Furniture and home furnishings are expensive to replace; believe me I've been there.
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Old 11-27-2009, 03:34 PM   #13
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If you bring her to my court, we shall laugh heartily as she is thrown off the cliff in front of my palace.

But "there's the door" is the mentality you must cultivate.

If divorce becomes imminent, I would liquidate all assets, buy gold, and bury it under a tree until everything is finalized.

Hell, it'll be worth more when you dig it up.
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Old 11-27-2009, 04:39 PM   #14
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After 2 divorces, let me chime in.

IMHO, once the word "divorce" is uttered in the house the marriage is probably over. Most people - especially people in their first marriage only look at divorce as a last option, but once the word is said and thought is given to it, suddenly it doesn't seem so bad.

Start making some decisions for yourself and figure out what YOU want to happen.
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Old 11-27-2009, 07:21 PM   #15
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Dear Oboman,
Never judge a Woman by what she says,rather watch what she does.....The Dog that is going to attack you rarely warns you of his intent by barking,he just does it,that's how my two divorces went,out of the blue,emotional Pearl Harbours...No this is a cry for attention,give it to her in a cool rational manner,my initial reaction would be "That's a bit extreme isn't it?what did I do this time?leave the top off the toothpaste"so defuse things a bit,use a little humour....A highly intelligent friend of mine had his wife confront him thus over leaving a soggy dish cloth in the sink,he's still with her...The one thing you don't want to do is lay the law down and beat your chest,won't work in 2009,they have to many bvitchy mates to give them advice,too many bolt holes....Sure surrupticiously secrete some brass,see a Solicitor,work out a plan of action should the axe fall,if you have to vacate in a hurry think what you need to grab and where you are going to put it,have a good friend wised up to help you....remember any overt reaction on your part will be seen as an escalation by her,once you start down that road it leads to one place only...In our actions we often initiate in others their anticipated reactions..So consider whether you want her and if you do maybe take her on a holiday,keep her happy,defuse this silly situation,perhaps she has some dumbassed divorcee pals whose life style looks a little alluring,that's often the case,but then again maybe working so hard to put the fruit on the sideboard you have dropped your game a bit,it's not easy is it?
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Old 11-27-2009, 08:50 PM   #16
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Unless she has bi-polar disease or told you that while she was drunk, it's a more serious matter to consider. Ironically, if she seems to maintain that "i'm gonna divorce you if/or/because" the proper way to handle this is to call her bluff. (It's a bluff. If she wanted a divorce she would show you papers)

I mean....

Why would I stay with someone who even DARES to threaten me in such a fashion?!

Let her know that you are not threatened by it, and let's see what she has to say. Her move.



Women... who the hell they think they're messing with.
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Old 11-28-2009, 02:32 AM   #17
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Granted the be all, end all solution to this is to NOT GET MARRIED in the first place.
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Old 11-28-2009, 03:34 AM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by oboman
Any married man here?

I'm no where near a don juan, which is why my wife threatens to divorce me. I know no fault, but how would you guys here handle such situation?

Thanks for any tips and input.

THis kind of threat may be have several explanations or a few different underlying objectives.
The first move is to stabilize yourself and reduce your panic so that you can think and act clearly.

I would say," A divorce ? Sounds serious. When would you like to sit down and discuss the details?"

Her response to this calm approach by you will tell you a lot in itself.
IF she is indeed serious, then she will be ready to talk this out. That means that she is preparing to move on with her life and has planned this moment (usually with the "'help and support"of her divorced single mommy friends who also can't maintain or sustain an adult relationship).

IF she becomes hissy and emotional when you suggest "a talk" , then I would suspect that this threat is faked-up attention seeking. Make no mistake, she is upset. The question is about what ?
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IT has rained so much down here lately that my girlfriend just looked through the window for four days - I guess I should let her back in.
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Old 11-29-2009, 06:22 PM   #19
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Simply agree with her. No fights, no pleading, no nothing. Simply agree and ask how she would like to proceed.

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Old 11-29-2009, 06:28 PM   #20
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Quote:
Act like you don't care and beat her
This guy's got the idea lol
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