5 Principles to the Don Juan Mindset - S.P.E.A.K

OK, first off i have been lurking on this site for over a month now, and I am turning my life around. I have stopped smoking weed, gained WAY more confidence, and have increased my game dramatically. From this site, I have learned 5 things that I have found to be essential to your game, as well as to your life. I have summarized them, and put them into an anagram "S.P.E.A.K"

S - Smile.

A smile is the most potent tool in a DJ's arsenal. It lets girls, and people in general, know that you are a friendly guy that is enjoying life. Even if you don't have perfect teeth or a blindingly white smile, do it anyway. It is the most important thing you can do for your game, and to improve the quality of your life.

P - Posture.

Body language is the most important and effective way of communicating with people, especially women. If you walk around like the hunchback of Notre Dame, the desirable women WILL NOT be fighting for dates with you. Your body language and posture communicate your confidence and your alpha male status. Walk slowly, as if you are under water, with your shoulders back and your head held high. When sitting down, in class or anywhere, sit comfortably erect with your head high. Take up space, spread your legs and arms because YOU are the dominant presence in the room. DO NOT fidget, twirl your pencil, or touch your skin or any other quirks, these display nervousness and go against the confident image you want to display.

E - Eye Contact.

Eye contact, along with smiling, is vital to showing your confidence and your status as an alpha male. The most important thing to remeber about eye contact is to NEVER look down, unless someone comments on your shoes or something . Looking down is a sign of submissiveness and a lack of confidence. If you have to look away, which you should occasionaly do while in a conversation, look up, look to the side, or even cover your eyes with your hands, but DO NOT look down. Maintain eye contact with everyone, and you will be surprised at the increase in your confidence.

A - Attitude.

OK, this category is going to be fairly large because there are a lot of things that personify the mindset of a Don Juan. First and most important thing to remember about the attitude of a Don Juan, is that a DJ believes they are the greatest catch and they are the prize to be won. AFC's go through life believing women are the prize and must be impressed and "wooed" into liking them. This is why they are AFC's. A DJ makes women work to impress HIM, because after all, he can have any woman he wants. A Don Juan is also funny, speaks his mind, and does not let people's reactions affect him in any way. The main difference between a Jerk and a Nice Guy, is that the proverbial Nice Guy filters what he say so he won't hurt anyone's feelings. HOW BORING!! The Jerk says whatever the F*CK he wants to whoever the hell he wants to. This is emotionally exciting to women, and therefor attractive. I am not saying go out and be a d*ck to everyone you meet, but a DJ does not worry about offending people and walking lightly. To quote a Master Don Juan "Life is not walking on eggshells" or something like that . Another point to the attitude of a Don Juan is that they are funny. Some DJ's will say that it is important to be ****y and Funny, or C & F. While this IS an effective tactic, being ****y can easily be done over the top, which is a turn off for most girls. The optimal would be to be Confident and Funny, but to the aspiring DJ confidence is something that does not come easily. So I suggest to be ****y and funny, but to be careful not to overdo it, and then as you become more comfortable with your game, Confident and Funny. Finally, a Don Juan has his own opinions about things, and will not agree to something just to make people like him. Take a side on everything, and live and THINK your own way.

K - Kino.

Kino, or kinesthetics, is what keeps us out of the "friend zone." Kino is non-sexual touching, that creates a physical connection between the DJ and the hottie. Kino, after being escallated, can even be the "invasion" of a girl's personal physical space, bubble, or whatever. Without Kino, even the funniest, best looking, charming, confident guy with a great smile will have an extremly hard time landing a physical relationship with any girl. There are many articles on this board about Kino, and I suggest you read them.



This anagram S.P.E.A.K represents the mind set of a Don Juan, because after you have mastered these 5 principles, you will not think about them. You will just act, and SPEAK.

I have left a lot out of this post, especially in the attitude and kino sections, but I will have a follow up post! Please post and contribute.

I hope this helped, rememer to S.P.E.A.K.

-SPEAK

i like the idea man. good break down. good stuff.

Killer first post.

Vice pretty much summed it up. Awesome and well detailed.

bump

Love this.

I agree with the S.P.E.A.

Not a fan of Kino. The woman MUST initiate touch. If you look good, she will.

bump. I have come VERY far in the years since posting this, and it still holds true. In job interviews, meeting bosses, talking to girls, and just getting the best out of life. I had to re-share it

SPEAK,

Thanks for bumping this. Can you speak (heh) to how implementing these 5 things over the past 4 years has helped you during the down times? I think we all go through those phases where we have no plates and just don't have a lot going on, and it can become a bit of a self-perpetuating downward spiral: you feel down and bored, so you're not putting out the right signals to women, so you don't get women - which makes you feel more down and more bored, etc.

Down times are hard, and there is no question about that. However, I think the biggest mental block young DJ's (and old) need to overcome is that down time isn't a bad thing; it certainly does not reflect on how you are coming along as a DJ.

What does this mean? When you first start out you aren't as focused on results, and you push yourself to be a better, more confident person. You work on smiling more, standing up straight, and being assertive. The changes are dramatic, and you watch yourself grow exponentially each day.

You reach a point, however, where you start to plateau and begin to monitor your success by phone #'s and the number of "plates" you have spinning. This is a bad mindset to get into. Although you will feel awesome and like a true DJ when you have a multiple plates spinning, when you use the # of girls you are interacting with as your benchmark of success you will also feel like **** when you aren't spinning any plates.

This is not the DJ mindset. The DJ mindset is that of a man who is confident with himself no matter what his situation is. A true DJ has no "down time" because he knows that during times when he may not be talking to any girls he can work on himself; downtime is a welcome blessing to a DJ because he takes every opportunity he has for self-improvement.

As far as my experience for the last 4 years... well that will need to be a longer post :crazy: BUT by "S.P.E.A.K ing" I have improved my life tremendously because I faked it until I made it. I am a confident man now, and SPEAK is how I show that.

Once again, I am back and I have seen so much and accomplished so much since my last bump. I am going through another round of self improvement and I felt like digging this thing up again as it's still highly relevant. Good luck to everyone out there. Keep at it and one day all of this will be internalized and you won't think about it.


Best,

SPEAK

I agree with @bigneil. Let her touch first, it's an important test to see if she likes you. IMO it's a douche move that makes you look desperate grabbing at a chick before she is ready. I never put my hands on a chick until she does it first... When you touch first, you are sending a message that you are more invested than she is, and it takes longer for her to start chasing you. If you look good and have good eye contact, and move close to her... and she likes you... she will touch first, then things are easy.

Touching is an escalation from general flirting, it's part of the process of seduction, so it is important. You have to do this right or you will make a mess of things. If you are not good at touching, then it is better that you do not do this at all and just mirror what the chick is doing.

@SPEAK I agree, this works throughout life in whatever circumstances.

@RangerMIke makes a good argument on kino.