Splitting up with an Abusive blckmailing girlfriend.

Mike-D · 09-04-2009, 01:35 PM

Ok first post here and its an emotionally charged one.
Im a 29 Year Old Irish Guy and I have been seeing this Korean Girl for about 3 and a Half Years. We have only lived together around half that time, I met her first in Putney London when she was living here before, then she had to go back to Korea because of her visa but we kept up a Long distance relationship. We have gotten back together recently however and it has been vastly different from what I remember before. She used to be very passionate and kinky but now I have been getting verbally abused and emotionally manipulated by her almost every second day. She is constantly exploding and I feel like I have to walk on eggshells when I am around her in case I do something to cause her to attack me. SHe is constantly threatening me and manipulating me. Some weekends I had to spend the entire weekend away from my house because I was scared of her.
All the really bad stuff happened this year. I flew over in January to see her in Korea and we had discussed comming to Europe and setteling down somewhere and getting married. We arrived in europe and I took her touring around europe, we had our ups and downs in that time, some very good times and some very tough times but I never lost faith in our relationsip. However she was worrying a lot about money and didnt feel like we had enough cash so we decided to go to london and I would get a contract and build up some cash.
we ended up having a massive argument where she ended up going totally crazy and going outside and causing a scene. The cops came and took her to a mental hospital.
She practices/practiced moxibustion, same as her mother which is apparently a traditional chinese/korean medicine where you put herbs on your skin and burn them, she practices the direct kind which In my opinion is just self harming/burning, anyway when the cops came she blamed me for it and I spent 8 hours in the cop shop before she admits she did it herlself.
She ends up getting let out that night and when i get home she appologises for being so nuts. Then the next morning she threatens to goto the cops and make more stuff up about me unless i feel guilty over what i made her do?
We end up going to ireland for 3 months while job hunting because I didnt feel safe with her in the UK and the I eventually get a job in Cambridge.
I move back to the UK and on our second weekend here she threatend me with the cops again over an argument we have over 20 quid. At that point i decide we need a break so I send her to Italy for 6 weeks. During that time I decided I dont need any more abuse from her and email her asking for her to make a video apologising for blackmailing and threatining me, she then emails me back with a half hearted apology for "emotional blackmail" while trying to make out like its all my fault and trying to hit me up for more money while making subtle alagations against me. At that point I decided not to contact her any more and to leave before she returns, she hasnt seen me for 6 weeks so even if she hurts herself again I wont be around for her to blame, im going back to ireland for 10 days and giving her time to clear out of the appartment, I left enough money for her to pay for a weeks rent and knowing her she wont stay more than that because that would involve reaching into her own pocket. I told everyone there to say that I dont think im comming back and took all my stuff with me, took a week of work so even if she shows up there im not around, her visa to Ireland has expired and im not sure she can even get back into the UK so I hope I am sorted, but for the record I would just like to ask you guys advice on the way I am handling this and checking to see if there is anything I have missed.
PS I know this is a long post but this is actually the short version

The fuller list covers this

Emotional Abuse
Repeated Verbal Abuse
Blackmail
Self Harm
Controling my Finances
Bleding me dry and never contributing anything.
Threatening to Smash my Laptop, Go to police and make stuff up, Threaten to **** her friend Anil to hurt me.
Admitting She wants to Hurt me and make me feel bad.
Blaming me for all her past abuse.
and much more..

Anyway any advice on anything im missing or ways to protect against her blackmail are greatly appreciated
Thanks
Mike

scrouds · 09-04-2009, 01:44 PM

In a fight, whoever strikes first usually wins.

Get a restraining order or whatever they want to call them. That way, if she ever calls the police for real, they will believe you before her, since you've got the restraining order.

DO NOT TALK TO HER. IF SHE CALLS, HANG UP THE PHONE.

CUT ALL contact. Change your phone number even.

KontrollerX · 09-04-2009, 02:36 PM

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=134717

Click this link.

Read the whole thread.

Your girl is one of these and this issue has been covered on the forum billions of times over.

To avoid confusion specifically what your girl has is known as Borderline Personality Disorder which is abbreviated BPD for short.

Rollo Tomassi · 09-04-2009, 02:50 PM

MIKE-D, put an age on your profile if you intend to post in the Mature forum.

sodbuster · 09-04-2009, 04:04 PM

RUN break all contact. Find a new woman who isn't crazy

steve38 · 09-06-2009, 01:35 PM

You're giving up on this girl already? I'm sure you two can work out your differences. Just try being nicer to her...haha. Of course I am kidding and you certainly have come to the right forum to help rid yourself of this cancer that will kill you. It's gonna take some effort on your part, but do as was already mentioned and also read this whole forum back and forward until it finally sinks in and you realize the error of your ways. Good luck.

squirrels · 09-06-2009, 01:41 PM

Dude...are you really that dumb??

There are other women out there. I suggest you explore your options...maybe see if you can find a girl who ISN'T batsh!t insane.

game.r · 09-09-2009, 02:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by scrouds

In a fight, whoever strikes first usually wins.

Get a restraining order or whatever they want to call them. That way, if she ever calls the police for real, they will believe you before her, since you've got the restraining order.

DO NOT TALK TO HER. IF SHE CALLS, HANG UP THE PHONE.

CUT ALL contact. Change your phone number even.

this immediately!

09-04-2009, 01:35 PM	#1
Mike-D Don Juan Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 1	Splitting up with an Abusive blckmailing girlfriend. Ok first post here and its an emotionally charged one. Im a 29 Year Old Irish Guy and I have been seeing this Korean Girl for about 3 and a Half Years. We have only lived together around half that time, I met her first in Putney London when she was living here before, then she had to go back to Korea because of her visa but we kept up a Long distance relationship. We have gotten back together recently however and it has been vastly different from what I remember before. She used to be very passionate and kinky but now I have been getting verbally abused and emotionally manipulated by her almost every second day. She is constantly exploding and I feel like I have to walk on eggshells when I am around her in case I do something to cause her to attack me. SHe is constantly threatening me and manipulating me. Some weekends I had to spend the entire weekend away from my house because I was scared of her. All the really bad stuff happened this year. I flew over in January to see her in Korea and we had discussed comming to Europe and setteling down somewhere and getting married. We arrived in europe and I took her touring around europe, we had our ups and downs in that time, some very good times and some very tough times but I never lost faith in our relationsip. However she was worrying a lot about money and didnt feel like we had enough cash so we decided to go to london and I would get a contract and build up some cash. we ended up having a massive argument where she ended up going totally crazy and going outside and causing a scene. The cops came and took her to a mental hospital. She practices/practiced moxibustion, same as her mother which is apparently a traditional chinese/korean medicine where you put herbs on your skin and burn them, she practices the direct kind which In my opinion is just self harming/burning, anyway when the cops came she blamed me for it and I spent 8 hours in the cop shop before she admits she did it herlself. She ends up getting let out that night and when i get home she appologises for being so nuts. Then the next morning she threatens to goto the cops and make more stuff up about me unless i feel guilty over what i made her do? We end up going to ireland for 3 months while job hunting because I didnt feel safe with her in the UK and the I eventually get a job in Cambridge. I move back to the UK and on our second weekend here she threatend me with the cops again over an argument we have over 20 quid. At that point i decide we need a break so I send her to Italy for 6 weeks. During that time I decided I dont need any more abuse from her and email her asking for her to make a video apologising for blackmailing and threatining me, she then emails me back with a half hearted apology for "emotional blackmail" while trying to make out like its all my fault and trying to hit me up for more money while making subtle alagations against me. At that point I decided not to contact her any more and to leave before she returns, she hasnt seen me for 6 weeks so even if she hurts herself again I wont be around for her to blame, im going back to ireland for 10 days and giving her time to clear out of the appartment, I left enough money for her to pay for a weeks rent and knowing her she wont stay more than that because that would involve reaching into her own pocket. I told everyone there to say that I dont think im comming back and took all my stuff with me, took a week of work so even if she shows up there im not around, her visa to Ireland has expired and im not sure she can even get back into the UK so I hope I am sorted, but for the record I would just like to ask you guys advice on the way I am handling this and checking to see if there is anything I have missed. PS I know this is a long post but this is actually the short version The fuller list covers this Emotional Abuse Repeated Verbal Abuse Blackmail Self Harm Controling my Finances Bleding me dry and never contributing anything. Threatening to Smash my Laptop, Go to police and make stuff up, Threaten to **** her friend Anil to hurt me. Admitting She wants to Hurt me and make me feel bad. Blaming me for all her past abuse. and much more.. Anyway any advice on anything im missing or ways to protect against her blackmail are greatly appreciated Thanks Mike

09-04-2009, 02:50 PM	#4
Rollo Tomassi Moderator Join Date: Oct 2004 Age: 45 Posts: 5,320	MIKE-D, put an age on your profile if you intend to post in the Mature forum. __________________ The Rational Male

09-06-2009, 01:41 PM	#7
squirrels Master Don Juan Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: A universe...where heartbreak and sadness have been replaced...by Old Spice Age: 33 Posts: 6,682	Dude...are you really that dumb?? There are other women out there. I suggest you explore your options...maybe see if you can find a girl who ISN'T batsh!t insane. __________________ What you know does not matter - what you do matters. - Mark Twight I've seen a million faces...and I've rocked 'em all!

09-04-2009, 01:44 PM	#2
scrouds Master Don Juan Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Orlando, fl Age: 30 Posts: 1,165	In a fight, whoever strikes first usually wins. Get a restraining order or whatever they want to call them. That way, if she ever calls the police for real, they will believe you before her, since you've got the restraining order. DO NOT TALK TO HER. IF SHE CALLS, HANG UP THE PHONE. CUT ALL contact. Change your phone number even.

09-04-2009, 02:36 PM	#3
KontrollerX Master Don Juan Join Date: Oct 2005 Posts: 4,508	http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=134717 Click this link. Read the whole thread. Your girl is one of these and this issue has been covered on the forum billions of times over. To avoid confusion specifically what your girl has is known as Borderline Personality Disorder which is abbreviated BPD for short.

09-04-2009, 04:04 PM	#5
sodbuster Master Don Juan Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: South Dakota Age: 53 Posts: 1,720	RUN break all contact. Find a new woman who isn't crazy

09-06-2009, 01:35 PM	#6
steve38 Don Juan Join Date: Aug 2007 Age: 44 Posts: 98	You're giving up on this girl already? I'm sure you two can work out your differences. Just try being nicer to her...haha. Of course I am kidding and you certainly have come to the right forum to help rid yourself of this cancer that will kill you. It's gonna take some effort on your part, but do as was already mentioned and also read this whole forum back and forward until it finally sinks in and you realize the error of your ways. Good luck.