Forum attention *****s

game.r · 09-09-2009, 09:51 AM

Have you seen this movie before?

OP: makes post thats obvious to everybody that he is caught up with a girl thats low quality or he's in a hopeless situation

Forum: Lots of good advice

OP: Vows to follow advice, also claims that he's not that into the girl but she's hot/fun/really into OP... etc etc

Forum: More good advice with more detail just in case OP didn't get the first time

OP: Completely ignores advice! post about girl some more and how he's still in control

Rinse&Repeat a few times....thread now several pages long...

Forum: some posters are now seeing the light but try to salvage anyway... new posters (to thread) offer variations of same advice. some argue with each other. others just post to take the piss (British phrase... i'm not British... used correctly?) still other go tough love and call op out in the harshest manner possible (my personal preference) just hoping to jolt OP off this train wreck path

OP: Ignores all but the new posters, and only respond to those offering enabling advice. Alternatively agree with all advice in a dismissive way, and only responds to those enabling posters
Alternatively calls anybody disagreeing with him haters...

End result

1.OP: goes back to or continues on with girl against all logic/reason and continues to bombard forum daily

2.OP: never post again or for a very long time... unlike option 1. this poster knows what he's gone against all thats holy and is ashamed. at least he has some dignity if not balls

3.OP: Comes back, tells heart wrenching tale... says how everyone was right and vows he's learned his lesson... but whole forum can tell he's still hoping or it will take very little for the girl to get him back again

4.OP: gets it and moves on. becomes an upstanding member or forum

Suggested Forum Tactic for OP 1

The Hijack: get in that thread and post random 5hit! and carry on completely unrelated conversations.

KontrollerX · 09-09-2009, 09:53 AM

Yeah we saw this movie repeat itself over and over again with the SunnyD poster from long ago.

Its happening with others now unfortunately.

Sunny perhaps has finally got herself sorted out.

game.r · 09-09-2009, 09:59 AM

Vlad the Impaler comes to mind.... and it really annoys me to see the forum turned to a garbage dump like that, especially the mature man's forum.

samspade · 09-09-2009, 10:04 AM

You can lead a horse to water...

I'm all for an open exchange of ideas, but it's too bad that some people here engage in enabling AFC advice - because people that truly need help are all too susceptible to being told what they want to hear.

However, some people need to go through the cycle a few times before they "get it."

Danger · 09-09-2009, 10:13 AM

To me the worst part is his derailing every thread with his need to talk about his latest PTSD occurrence with his said gf.

When people stop posting in his thread, he will hijack someone elses with the same crap. It's his own therapy for his refusal to get rid of the toxic waste he dates.

Sinistar · 09-09-2009, 10:30 AM

I think the mods should just step in after the obligatory 3-5 posts of solid advice and lock these types of threads - at least they are quite obvious.

FWIW, round after round of posting and responding isn't feeding a troll - it's actually worse. It is enabling the person who actually needs help by sustaining a unhealthy topic, feeding it energy and (albeit convoluted) reinforcing their position. Put another way, any talking at all is misinterpreted as an endorsement (even if it comes in the form of a advice / empathy / challenge / response / derailment).

Some of you older guys have probably done this a time or two (and had it done to you). A topic comes up around the family or friends for way too many'th time. The "stuck" party just isn't getting it. Finally someone just says plain, simple and assertive like "We will never talk about this again!" You get several dumb looks. But people get it. They move on to other topics. And the person who's stuck has two choices - find others who will get wrapped up in their sh!t OR a realization of just how bad it's become. An example:

Mod: "To the OP; excellent, congruent, experienced advise has been given. Feeding this topic any additional energy is not helping. Hopefully the abruptness of this thread being locked and no future related discussions being tolerated will help you realize for the first time that you are in very unhealthy position.

Warrior74 · 09-09-2009, 11:20 AM

My predictions on this thread : 8 to 10 pager

everyone is going to chime in with what they think is wrong : at least 2 pages

Vlad's gonna come in here to justify himself. : 3-4 pages

An argument will break outbetween two posters over something none related to the thread or a miscommunication : 2 pages

Other people jumping in the argument : 1 page

Random smartass comments (like this one) : 1 page

People smart enough/too busy to be bothered : 0 pages

Just ignore it and stop talking about it. It's the only way to move forward. I fail for even posting this. Every time he post he will draw someone in. You know what to do with attention *****s gentlemen. Treat him like the bytch ass he is and ignore him.

Rollo Tomassi · 09-09-2009, 01:00 PM

Don't forget the useless IQQI posts. Those are good for at least half a page.

scrouds · 09-09-2009, 01:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Warrior74

My predictions on this thread : 8 to 10 pager

everyone is going to chime in with what they think is wrong : at least 2 pages

Vlad's gonna come in here to justify himself. : 3-4 pages

An argument will break outbetween two posters over something none related to the thread or a miscommunication : 2 pages

Other people jumping in the argument : 1 page

Random smartass comments (like this one) : 1 page

People smart enough/too busy to be bothered : 0 pages

Just ignore it and stop talking about it. It's the only way to move forward. I fail for even posting this. Every time he post he will draw someone in. You know what to do with attention *****s gentlemen. Treat him like the bytch ass he is and ignore him.

Haha, I'll run a pool. Total number of posts by end of month. Whoever is closest wins a prize. I'll start it off by taking 105.

Vlad the 1mpaler · 09-09-2009, 01:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by game.r

Vlad the Impaler comes to mind.... and it really annoys me to see the forum turned to a garbage dump like that, especially the mature man's forum.

Don't be jealous.

romangod · 09-09-2009, 01:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vlad the 1mpaler

Don't be jealous.

You tell 'em, Leonardo!

I bet every guy here wishes they were like you. The way you handle those BPD chicks is a work of art. It's almost like you know exactly what they're thinking. It's amazing! Forget your own reality show. You should write a book.

You're the king of BPD relationships.

How do you stay normal?

Cheers!

09-09-2009, 09:51 AM	#1
game.r Don Juan Join Date: Mar 2008 Age: 36 Posts: 137	Forum attention *s Have you seen this movie before? OP: makes post thats obvious to everybody that he is caught up with a girl thats low quality or he's in a hopeless situation Forum: Lots of good advice OP: Vows to follow advice, also claims that he's not that into the girl but she's hot/fun/really into OP... etc etc Forum: More good advice with more detail just in case OP didn't get the first time OP: Completely ignores advice! post about girl some more and how he's still in control Rinse&Repeat a few times....thread now several pages long... Forum: some posters are now seeing the light but try to salvage anyway... new posters (to thread) offer variations of same advice. some argue with each other. others just post to take the piss (British phrase... i'm not British... used correctly?) still other go tough love and call op out in the harshest manner possible (my personal preference) just hoping to jolt OP off this train wreck path OP: Ignores all but the new posters, and only respond to those offering enabling advice. Alternatively agree with all advice in a dismissive way, and only responds to those enabling posters Alternatively calls anybody disagreeing with him haters... End result 1.OP: goes back to or continues on with girl against all logic/reason and continues to bombard forum daily 2.OP: never post again or for a very long time... unlike option 1. this poster knows what he's gone against all thats holy and is ashamed. at least he has some dignity if not balls 3.OP: Comes back, tells heart wrenching tale... says how everyone was right and vows he's learned his lesson... but whole forum can tell he's still hoping or it will take very little for the girl to get him back again 4.OP: gets it and moves on. becomes an upstanding member or forum Suggested Forum Tactic for OP 1 The Hijack: get in that thread and post random 5hit! and carry on completely unrelated conversations.

09-09-2009, 10:04 AM	#4
samspade Master Don Juan Join Date: Jan 2008 Age: 37 Posts: 2,294	You can lead a horse to water... I'm all for an open exchange of ideas, but it's too bad that some people here engage in enabling AFC advice - because people that truly need help are all too susceptible to being told what they want to hear. However, some people need to go through the cycle a few times before they "get it." __________________ http://theuniversalmale.wordpress.com/

09-09-2009, 10:30 AM	#6
Sinistar Master Don Juan Join Date: Sep 2005 Posts: 551	I think the mods should just step in after the obligatory 3-5 posts of solid advice and lock these types of threads - at least they are quite obvious. FWIW, round after round of posting and responding isn't feeding a troll - it's actually worse. It is enabling the person who actually needs help by sustaining a unhealthy topic, feeding it energy and (albeit convoluted) reinforcing their position. Put another way, any talking at all is misinterpreted as an endorsement (even if it comes in the form of a advice / empathy / challenge / response / derailment). Some of you older guys have probably done this a time or two (and had it done to you). A topic comes up around the family or friends for way too many'th time. The "stuck" party just isn't getting it. Finally someone just says plain, simple and assertive like "We will never talk about this again!" You get several dumb looks. But people get it. They move on to other topics. And the person who's stuck has two choices - find others who will get wrapped up in their sh!t OR a realization of just how bad it's become. An example: Mod: "To the OP; excellent, congruent, experienced advise has been given. Feeding this topic any additional energy is not helping. Hopefully the abruptness of this thread being locked and no future related discussions being tolerated will help you realize for the first time that you are in very unhealthy position. Last edited by Sinistar : 09-09-2009 at 11:15 AM.

09-09-2009, 11:20 AM	#7
Warrior74 Master Don Juan Join Date: Mar 2008 Age: 38 Posts: 4,787	My predictions on this thread : 8 to 10 pager everyone is going to chime in with what they think is wrong : at least 2 pages Vlad's gonna come in here to justify himself. : 3-4 pages An argument will break outbetween two posters over something none related to the thread or a miscommunication : 2 pages Other people jumping in the argument : 1 page Random smartass comments (like this one) : 1 page People smart enough/too busy to be bothered : 0 pages Just ignore it and stop talking about it. It's the only way to move forward. I fail for even posting this. Every time he post he will draw someone in. You know what to do with attention *****s gentlemen. Treat him like the bytch ass he is and ignore him. __________________ Confirmation bias is the biggest problem on this board. Be more like scientist and less like religious zealots. Belief is not enough. It never was and never will be.

09-09-2009, 01:00 PM	#8
Rollo Tomassi Moderator Join Date: Oct 2004 Age: 45 Posts: 5,320	Don't forget the useless IQQI posts. Those are good for at least half a page. __________________ The Rational Male

09-09-2009, 09:53 AM	#2
KontrollerX Master Don Juan Join Date: Oct 2005 Posts: 4,508	Yeah we saw this movie repeat itself over and over again with the SunnyD poster from long ago. Its happening with others now unfortunately. Sunny perhaps has finally got herself sorted out.

09-09-2009, 09:59 AM	#3
game.r Don Juan Join Date: Mar 2008 Age: 36 Posts: 137	Vlad the Impaler comes to mind.... and it really annoys me to see the forum turned to a garbage dump like that, especially the mature man's forum.

09-09-2009, 10:13 AM	#5
Danger Master Don Juan Join Date: Aug 2007 Posts: 4,395	To me the worst part is his derailing every thread with his need to talk about his latest PTSD occurrence with his said gf. When people stop posting in his thread, he will hijack someone elses with the same crap. It's his own therapy for his refusal to get rid of the toxic waste he dates.