Facebook contact

radiodude · 07-31-2009, 02:38 PM

Married now for 3 years.

I register with Facebook back in January. Start adding friends. I see an old ex-gf from 6-7 years back. I friend her and she accepts and we exchange a friendly e-mail. A while goes by and then one day about 3 months later, out of nowhere, she sends me a message "been iceskating lately"?. This is something we did a few times while we were seeing each other.

She doesn't have alot of activity on her site the few times I've went there so she made a purposeful attempt to get on and message me which she doesn't normally do alot it would appear even with other friends. She is married now too.

Now it's pretty obvious we stick out in each others minds being that we have a history. Thats natural.

My question: I'm thinking...whats really the point of friending people you know if you aren't going to speak to them much and in situations like this, with both of us being married, is it just weird to be socially connected on Facebook given our past?? The question she asked me was so out of left field and unexpected that I was thinking, "Why should this catch my attention and make me think"? Well, obviously because she's an ex.

Now I know what some of you are thinking: Radiodude....no no no!

I am making too big a deal or reading too much into this??

Allurre · 07-31-2009, 10:51 PM

There's nothing wrong with that question. It's just something you two once shared. She may not even have thought hard about asking. Just be mature about it, talk to her like she's your ex, and continue with your life

playerone · 08-01-2009, 12:11 AM

Nothing wrong with a friendly conversation with an ex. You don't have to be seducing someone to speak to someone.

COD · 08-02-2009, 08:45 AM

WAS THERE A QUESTION...........or are U just stating your a huge wuss and cant even talk to any other females cause your relationship with your current girl is so fragile.

Dude lots of men/women have chics on the side..............bang her and get it over with or reunite a new friend. Not sure why certain men insist on conversing with an ex.

So lets recap..........your married, shes married, you once dated and now you are talking thru emails.............WHERE DO WANT IT TO GO?

it aint rocket science.........pull the balls out of the wifes purse and flip a coin.

radiodude · 08-03-2009, 02:50 PM

Thanks for the replies. All of which I agree on and see the point.

COD-

Where do I want it to go? Well that certain part of my brain says: Where it was when we went clubbing, came home, sweated it out for hours, parted ways and did it again the next weekend.

Where will it go? Nowhere! It's wrong, I've got a good marriage and aren't looking to ruin it. Mind over matter here. (and please don't try to convince me otherwise...lest I might like the idea too much. Yes I'm still a man with a healthy taste for women.)

As for casual e-mails.... those are fine every once in a while. But too many and I start having thoughts.

I'm not in contact with any of my other previous ex's at all except for this one. So it stands out in my mind. I always made it a point to really cut things off for good after I'd break up with a girl. Thats why I've always stayed healthier in the long run than alot of my friends.

Best to keep things friendly and to a minimum.

acw · 08-04-2009, 10:02 AM

Dude...you're married and hittin up x-girlfriends on facebook?

Does your wife know this?

You're marriage is not satifying?

Why did you get married in the first place?

Does the Mrs. know that you are plotting a Rondevue with Your X?

Not Very Smart, Young Man...You get the smuck of the day award!

Tony T · 08-04-2009, 11:10 PM

Guess High Morals are not part of his repituar?

kraytkiller · 08-05-2009, 02:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by acw

Dude...you're married and hittin up x-girlfriends on facebook?

Does your wife know this?

You're marriage is not satifying?

Why did you get married in the first place?

Does the Mrs. know that you are plotting a Rondevue with Your X?

Not Very Smart, Young Man...You get the smuck of the day award!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tony T

Guess High Morals are not part of his repituar?

That's so cute, all the AFCs thinking a married man should report to their wives like a superior officer.

Do what you want. If you don't want anything from her, keep it friendly. Nothing wrong with talking to ex's.

slaog · 08-05-2009, 03:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kraytkiller

That's so cute, all the AFCs thinking a married man should report to their wives like a superior officer.

Do what you want. If you don't want anything from her, keep it friendly. Nothing wrong with talking to ex's.

Having morals isn't = to being AFC. I would say its AFC to lie to your wife and ruin a good marraige because you can't control your d*ck.

radiodude · 08-05-2009, 05:00 PM

I'm not lying to my wife nor is she in the dark about this. She knows I added her as a friend.

As was stated above, nothing is or will be happening.

Finally, no I don't 'check in' with my wife for approval to piss. I could easily do any number of things and she'd never find out. But I CHOOSE not to.

Chumps have to ask permission to talk to a girl who isn't related.

DJDamage · 08-05-2009, 05:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by radiodude

My question: I'm thinking...whats really the point of friending people you know if you aren't going to speak to them much and in situations like this, with both of us being married, is it just weird to be socially connected on Facebook given our past??

There is no point, you ended things and you moved on so any contact with the ex should be ceased and deceased or else they could and probably would get back into the picture.

Quote:

Originally Posted by radiodude

The question she asked me was so out of left field and unexpected that I was thinking, "Why should this catch my attention and make me think"? Well, obviously because she's an ex.

Her respond made you think of the "what ifs" and this is a dangerous territory to go when you are a married guy.

Connor99 · 08-05-2009, 05:12 PM

whats the point of any married man being on facebook

facebook IMO is for college kids....Good for them to network and meet people and find out where the party is

For people who are married and settled down....I really dont get facebook...I would'nt want girls from my past contacting me and tempting me to do things that i might regret and that might wreck my marriage.

I doubt you would want the wife adding ex boyfriends on her facebook and her chatting with them

IMO leave facebook for the single guys and the younger dudes

Connor99 · 08-05-2009, 05:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kraytkiller

That's so cute, all the AFCs thinking a married man should report to their wives like a superior officer.

Do what you want. If you don't want anything from her, keep it friendly. Nothing wrong with talking to ex's.

What these so called don juans don't realize is that a marriage is a "Contract"

which means if the wife catches you screwing around she can take half of everything you have ....If you have kids and screw around on the wife and she finds out and wants a divorce..the judge will make you pay...she will get the kids and you will be working just so you can send her half of what you made for child support lol

Some guys have A LOT to lose