Iron Rule of Tomassi 3: Get the fvck in here if your girl isn't putting out

The Bat

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Read this:

Rollo Tomassi said:
Iron Rule of Tomassi #3

Any woman who makes you wait for sex, or by her actions implies she is making you wait for sex; the sex is NEVER worth the wait.

When women make you wait for sex you are not their highest priority. Sexuality is spontaneous chemical reaction between two parties, not a process of negotiation. It's sex first, then relationship, not the other way around. A woman who wants to fukk you will fly across the country, crawl under barbwire, climb in through your second story bedroom window, ƒuck the sh!t out of you and wait patiently inside your closet if your wife comes home early from work - women who want to ƒuck will find a way to ƒuck. The girl who tells you she wants a relationship first is the same girl who fukked the hot guy in the foam cannon party in Cancun on spring break half an hour after meeting him.

If a girl is that into you she'll ƒuck regardless of ASD or having her friends in the room videotaping it at a frat party. All women can be sluts, you just have to be the right guy to bring it out in them, and this happens before you go back to her place. If you have to plead your case cuddling and spooning on the bed or getting the occasional peck on the cheek, you need to go back to square one and start fresh.
Now, focus on the bold, underlined part.

Women who genuinely finds you physically attractive will make it known, either directly or indirectly, and will make things easy for you. That means she won't play stupid head games with you...if she does, then you kick her ass to the curb and shut the fvcking door on her. You don't have time for bull$hit head games with her if she isn't jumping your bone right away.

Recent example:

I have been seeing this girl for about a month...but only every other weekend...so I've seen her out maybe 3 times.

On our 4th get together, we went out for mini-golfing (fvck stupid dinner dates) in the evening. We both had to work at 6 in the morning the next day so I wanted to keep the night short, go home, and go to sleep.

After the mini-golf, we went over to my buddy's house for few drinks. This was around maybe 8 PM. My buddy and few of his friends were going out to the bars around 10, and it was my date who suggested that we go with them.

I said, fine, but I want to keep it short and be home by midnight since I like sleep and wanted to sleep so I could wake up refreshed by 6 AM.

We go to the bar, and she immediately starts buying me and herself drinks.

Pay attention, fellas. I didn't spend a single dime at the bar (I spent like maybe $10 for mini-golf) and we both got hammered pretty good.

I should also mention that she let me drive her car around the whole evening/night. You might think how this is relevant and it is so because it's little things like these that dictates that she expects me to be the Man and take control of situations.

It was around midnight and I said fvck it, I'm having a blast, let's stay longer. We stayed till 1, left to go back to my buddy's house but his door was locked so we had to wait in her car until my buddy showed up.

She insisted that we jump back into the backseat. We do, and she immediately threw me down on the backseat, started taking off my pants, and her pants so that we could get fvcking like horndogs. To make her even hot and hornier, I made her wait....teased the $hit out of her. Besides, I didn't feel like fvcking in the backseat of her tiny ass car.

My buddy shows up, we go inside, some of our friends come over, and we can't really do anything.

She told everybody to go get some pancakes at a diner nearby. The other girls that were there got the hint and made all the guys there go with them.

They left for the diner and stayed there for two hours.

Guess what we did for two hours in an empty house?

Needless to say, I didn't get any sleep that night.

The point is, again what Rollo said above, "women who want to fvck you will find a way to fvck you".

If your girl is making you wait or gets naked with you but doesn't let you fvck her, then you need to re-assess your interest level in her. Sometimes, you might like the girl and don't want to kick her to the curb quickly. If this is the case, then spin more plates.

You should be spinning plates even if your girl is putting out, and this rule is 10x more important to implement when your girl isn't putting out and you happen to like her enough to wait for her to put out.

Make sense? I've been there when the girl made me wait and I happened to like her enough to wait, yet I didn't stop spinning plates. I went out and found girls who did want to fvck me.

Now sometimes, and I've been there too, you might not have enough time in your busy schedule to date more than 1 or 2 girls at the same time. If this is the case, then keep the above rule in mind. Judge the girl, her interest level in you, and the entire situation from the context of the above rule.

All the bull$hit indicators of interest and theories about how to raise her interest level/buying temperature is nothing more than hogwash. The best way to judge if the girl likes you sexually is to measure how badly she wants to get you naked and have her way with you.

I hope this kicks some sense into you if you are having trouble figuring out why she hasn't put out or how much she likes you.
 

LostAndConfused

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Repped

Quick question. What about ones who have had problems with sex in the past, so they want to stick to giving/receiving oral? This relates to a couple of high school girls I've been with.
 

PeeGee

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LostAndConfused said:
Repped

Quick question. What about ones who have had problems with sex in the past, so they want to stick to giving/receiving oral? This relates to a couple of high school girls I've been with.
I don't see a problem with that as you're clearly not being tooled in those situations. As long as she's not blocking your advances you are good.

This is an excellent post and reminder.
 

#41

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The Bat said:
I said, fine, but I want to keep it short and be home by midnight since I like sleep and wanted to sleep so I could wake up refreshed by 6 AM.
I stopped reading here. This line makes you sound like a douchebag.

I agree with Rollo's rule, though. It bears re-reading every now and then.
 

Rollo Tomassi

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I think one of the biggest mistakes guys against a 3 Strikes rule make is assuming that it means a guy would be so preoccupied with sex that you couldn't wait for 4-6 dates, and in some cases months. They assume that a 3 Strikes rule (or any rule dependent upon sexual reciprocation) makes them Players at best, superficial and sex-concerned at worst. Nothing could be further from the truth.

The mistake is to presume that a 3 date policy is some form of punishment for the girl for not having 'put out' soon enough to verify interest. It's not punishment, it's a fail-safe that serves to protect a guy from some protracted personal investment for a very limited return. For example, I play golf and when I want to improve my game I hire a golf pro. I pay him $120 for 3 lessons, so $40 per lesson. At the end of my 3rd lesson I assess whether or not my game's improved and I can decide to continue with him or, if I see no improvement I can choose to find another pro and do the same. I'm not punishing the pro for doing this, I'm simply looking for the best value in an area I wish to improve in.

The misunderstanding is to see a 3 Strikes rule as a threat. "She'd better put out after tonight or I'm outta here". I can see why that would place a burden upon a woman, but you must take into account why a 3 Strike rule would even be a necessary concept. 3 dates (and I mean real dates, none of this coffee / lunch crap) over the course of 3 weeks should be ample time to make the assessment as to whether a woman has interest and attraction enough to become intimate. Anything beyond this is indicative of filibustering on a woman's part and usually points to an only lukewarm IL if at all. In this way a 3 Strike rule benefits both men and women; why would either sex want to engage in a relationship that was lackluster from the start? Why would either want to be involved with a person who was settled on or settled for?

It's urgency and anxiety that makes for genuine, chemical-fueled sexual desire - not comfort, not familiarity. This is precisely why I say Any woman who makes you wait for sex, or by her actions implies she is making you wait for sex; the sex is NEVER worth the wait. It's not that you can't have sex with her, it's that the sex is compromised, second choice sex. It becomes mundane before anyone's clothes come off. She's not having sex with you be cause she's uncontrollably aroused by you, she's having sex with you because she feels obligated to. Having sex with a woman who doesn't want to is called rape.

We only chase what runs away from us.

Familiarity and comfort are anti-seductive. Remove that comfort and replace it with an unexpected, seemingly erratic response and you will create anxiety. This anxiety, discomfort and unpredictability is exactly what fosters sexual tension. This is the foundation of progressing from attraction into seduction and on to rapport.

Most AFCs have been conditioned for the better part of their lifetimes to think that comfort, friendship and familiarity are the way to a sexual state through a constant repetition of women telling them the same in order to avoid seeming shallow or as a preemptive ASD. The AFC only gets more frustrated when that same woman ends up ƒucking another guy after a second date. Why? Because that intercourse flowed from attraction into seduction into sexuality and THEN into rapport, with all the intervening stages of anxiety, uncertainty, discomfort and the imaginings that come with it. If the initial attraction is there, you should never need to plead your case or qualify yourself as a source of comfort and reliability; this is anti-sexual and women on some level of consciousness acknowledge this.
 

macallik

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Good topic.

Interesting post Rollo. My question is does this pertain to all plates you spin or just women you are seeking a long-term relationship with? I ask this question because I can see this method helping with a high value, highly compatible chick but for a plate you are trying to spin, is a time frame really helpful/necessary? To extend on your golf analogy, you are paying for golf lessons, but you still see golf as a hobby and not a serious endeavour. If you get better at it, fine but what if you just like getting out of the office every now and then?
 

The Bat

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LostAndConfused said:
Repped

Quick question. What about ones who have had problems with sex in the past, so they want to stick to giving/receiving oral? This relates to a couple of high school girls I've been with.
Yeah see, most high school girls are very shy and conservative when it comes to sex. If they are genuinely physically attracted to you, then they will still maintain some sort of sexual relationship with you. Rollo expanded more on his rule in the post above about how sexual tension will drive her wild whenever she is with you. Like PeeGee said, if she isn't blocking your sexual advances (except for sex in the cases you mentioned), then you can be sure that she is very attracted to you.

Keep in mind that girls who really, really like you will make things easy for you. Obviously, some degree of drama will just come simply because you are dealing with girls....but it won't be to an extent that you will be wondering "What the fvck is going on? I need to post on SS and ask about this."

#41 said:
I stopped reading here. This line makes you sound like a douchebag.

I agree with Rollo's rule, though. It bears re-reading every now and then.
Just because I wanted to get some sleep rather than hang out all night just making out makes me sound like a douchebag? I'm missing something here....hmm....

macallik said:
Interesting post Rollo. My question is does this pertain to all plates you spin or just women you are seeking a long-term relationship with? I ask this question because I can see this method helping with a high value, highly compatible chick but for a plate you are trying to spin, is a time frame really helpful/necessary? To extend on your golf analogy, you are paying for golf lessons, but you still see golf as a hobby and not a serious endeavour. If you get better at it, fine but what if you just like getting out of the office every now and then?
Why not go out on dates with girls who you know will fvck you sooner rather than later?

See what I mean...
 

Willis

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Yea Man,,,
A Chick Tryed To Pull That "we Need To Be In A Relationship First" Bull**** On Me
I Said "excuse Me"

Then I Proceeded To Mush Her..
 

#41

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The Bat said:
Just because I wanted to get some sleep rather than hang out all night just making out makes me sound like a douchebag? I'm missing something here....hmm...
No, using a phrase like "...so I could wake up refreshed..." makes you sound like either a douchebag or a spokesman for Ambien.
 

Speculator E

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#41 said:
No, using a phrase like "...so I could wake up refreshed..." makes you sound like either a douchebag or a spokesman for Ambien.
That sounds like a normal phrase anyone would use to me. I don't see how it would make The Bat sound like a douchebag.

P.S. Great post.
 

Desert Fox

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What if the girl is a really innocent virgin?

I don't really go for the HB10s...I go for the more cute nerdy types and this girl is really innocent (but reading this forum makes me wanna add..."or appears to be).

I don't think she's ever had a BF but has a lot of guy friends who definitely want to all get into her pants. Does this still apply? I mean part of me knows I should just accept this rule since it's probably true, but part of me also feels like there is always an exception and this girl could be it.

However that is probably just the oneitis talking. for example, with my old oneitis I thought she was innocent and all even when she had a badass for a BF. Later I find out she probably got fvcked 12 ways in every hole but I still made excusees for her. So basically I was lying to myself, I feel like I'm making the same excuses here. What do you guys think? I need some input here to snap me out of this mindfvck.
 

Hemingway

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Rollo Tomassi said:
Familiarity and comfort are anti-seductive. Remove that comfort and replace it with an unexpected, seemingly erratic response and you will create anxiety. This anxiety, discomfort and unpredictability is exactly what fosters sexual tension.
Rollo, how do you maintain this posture in a LTR?
 

The Bat

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Desert Fox said:
What if the girl is a really innocent virgin?

I don't really go for the HB10s...I go for the more cute nerdy types and this girl is really innocent (but reading this forum makes me wanna add..."or appears to be).

I don't think she's ever had a BF but has a lot of guy friends who definitely want to all get into her pants. Does this still apply? I mean part of me knows I should just accept this rule since it's probably true, but part of me also feels like there is always an exception and this girl could be it.

However that is probably just the oneitis talking. for example, with my old oneitis I thought she was innocent and all even when she had a badass for a BF. Later I find out she probably got fvcked 12 ways in every hole but I still made excusees for her. So basically I was lying to myself, I feel like I'm making the same excuses here. What do you guys think? I need some input here to snap me out of this mindfvck.
Like I said in the original post, if the girl is making you wait for whatever reasons, and you happen to like her enough to wait, then spin more plates.

I've never dealt with virgins so can't say what your girl might be thinking. Don't jump to conclusions though, she could really be telling the truth, or she could have a secret life as a porn star.

What matters though is are you making an attempt to date other girls? One-itis develops because you get fixated on one girl whose interest level you cannot figure out. Does she like me? Not like me? How much does she like me? You keep asking those type of questions to yourself, and eventually your ego kicks in and develops one-itis because you want her to like you.

To prevent this from happening, you date other girls.
 

Pathgen

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I've never dealt with virgins so can't say what your girl might be thinking. Don't jump to conclusions though, she could really be telling the truth, or she could have a secret life as a porn star.
What i have noticed is that girls who haven't had sexual expriences before may be scared to do it. I remember sometimes reading threads on hear where guys are scared as **** to kiss a girl or to go farther with them because they are scared of the outcome (even though they might know the girl wants it).

Girls are very insecure and they might be shy about sexual advances and use the "im innocent or i need to hold back giving away my virginity" sheild.

The truth is if you get them horny enough and make them feel comfortable enough they will **** you. They want to they are just afraid too. And if you are not the one to do it there is someone who will.

This is only true about shy virgins, who like desert fox said are more nerdy and are probably arlready insecure about the way they look. I have had a girl be scared of just being naked around me and I had to get her comfortable getting undressed very slowly.
 

radiodude

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What I know is this...

Every girl who's ever truly wanted me, always made it easier for me to get them. Period.
 

Desert Fox

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Yeah currently I spin 1 plate.

But now 0 since I just got a busy ass job. **** MAN...the things you do for money.
 
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