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Old 05-03-2009, 01:13 PM   #1
gottagetthatgirl
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How Soon To Text Girl After Getting Her Number?

Hey guys! I got a really beautiful girls # at a party last night. Like most girls numbers I get I dont really care that much, but this girl was really my type or something. I know that sounds lame,lol....but I dont want to screw this up.

I was thinking about sending her a text message later tonight since its a Sunday. But is that too soon to send a text message? Thanks
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Old 05-03-2009, 01:48 PM   #2
decentguy
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Wait a few days. Why would you text her instead of calling her for a date? Don't call just to chat, have a plan and keep the call brief.
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Old 05-03-2009, 04:11 PM   #3
horaholic
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Read these. Its a new perspective, but it makes perfect sense.


Im veering away from the 'wait a few days' rule. The whole point of that is to not look needy, but when you first meet a chick, you have to stick yourself in her mind. I would send a funny or just plain wierd text kind of latish the same night. Get yourself in her head while she's falling asleep. Just make sure you are communicating out of neediness, but dont be afraid to call or text whenever the hell you want, as long as you dont turn into her girlfriend about it.
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Old 05-03-2009, 04:42 PM   #4
46and2aheadofme
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The fact that you are getting worked up over her shows that you are placing her in a place of higher value than yourself. With this mindset there is a very small chance, in my opinion, that you will end up getting with her unless she is physically attracted to you.

Don't fall into this trap of analyzing when you need to call her. It is not an equation of "If I wait X amount of days, her attraction goes up .9% to the third power, based on me not looking needy".

If you want to call her, call her. Just make sure you are in a good mood (just watched something funny, or out having a good time with friends) when you do decide to call her. Quite frankly you should be working on getting more numbers/ girls in your social network so that you aren't fretting over a single female no matter how hot or perfect she was.

A certain degree of apathy and emotional detachment in the early stages is healthy in my opinion.

Whenever you are thinking "I wonder how I can get her to like me more" you have already lost. You should be thinking "is this chick really worth my time and effort yet?" instead.

Be a man.
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Old 05-04-2009, 12:28 AM   #5
gottagetthatgirl
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you guys are right. I had an "awakening" today so to speak.

"You should be thinking "is this chick really worth my time and effort yet?"

Thats it! Is this stupid girl worth my time? Is any girl worth my time? I dont even have a car and I saw that as a problem. But its not is it?

She can drive to see me if she wants to see me. Im not going out of my way for some stupid girl I dont even know.
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Old 05-04-2009, 12:36 AM   #6
Igetit!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gottagetthatgirl
you guys are right. I had an "awakening" today so to speak.

"You should be thinking "is this chick really worth my time and effort yet?"

Thats it! Is this stupid girl worth my time? Is any girl worth my time? I dont even have a car and I saw that as a problem. But its not is it?

She can drive to see me if she wants to see me. Im not going out of my way for some stupid girl I dont even know.
O..kay.

Uh...what happened here? You go from saying you just got the number of a beautiful girl and asking how soon to text her,then not even 24 hours later,you do a 180 saying you had some kind of "awakening" and TWICE,calling the girl stupid.

I might be off for asking this,but...is something wrong?
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Old 05-04-2009, 12:48 AM   #7
gottagetthatgirl
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lol. Yea man, I just realized today im stressing it too much. I have reached a point of not even wanting to talk to a girl. I know this may sound bitter and thats because it is I think.

Im tired of doing all this crap like talking to girls and stuff. Like even the thought of talking to her makes me kinda mad. I mean I dont feel like listening to her little stories and all.

I just feel like saying "if you want to hang with me then do it!" Because the truth is im better than most of these stupid insecure girls. So why dont I act like it? Because I want to hook up with a girl, im kinda desperate I admit. If I wasnt paranoid about stds I would be hooking up with girls all the time.

I had a girl over 3 nights ago that literally had her clothes off and everything. But she told me she's been with like 70 dudes so I was scared of getting something so I fooled around with her but ended it before it got heavy.

So Im not looking for that. Im looking for a girl thats not a total slut. But guess what? Im not going out of my way to find this girl. They can drive to see me and all. If they want to hang with me they got to prove to me that they are worth my effort.

I mean I dont know why it took me so long to see this. I guess I just reached a breaking point. Im always trying to make the girl happy or prove to her that im better than other guys. I dont have a car so that drags me down, I feel like no girl wants me when I dont have a car.

But guess what? I dont care anymore, if she doesnt want me because I dont have a car then I will tell her to go her own way. I dont need this crap, if a girl wants to be with me then thats it. I hope im making sense and not going overboard, im just tired of trying to "win" girls over when they should be trying to "win" me over.
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Old 05-04-2009, 01:41 AM   #8
Igetit!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gottagetthatgirl
lol. Yea man, I just realized today im stressing it too much. I have reached a point of not even wanting to talk to a girl. I know this may sound bitter and thats because it is I think.

Im tired of doing all this crap like talking to girls and stuff. Like even the thought of talking to her makes me kinda mad. I mean I dont feel like listening to her little stories and all.
Well everybody gets frustrated with girls from time to time. Unfortunately,this is just how women are. I have a friend who was kind of in the same mental state as your describing. He was asking me some questions about this one woman who he liked,and I told him a lot of the things taught here on the forum,mostly about being a man (having a strong frame,not being needy,etc.),and one day he just flat out said to me,"Why can't I just be nice to her?". This "Don Juan"/picking up girls thing WILL wear you down and frustrate you.....IF you make it your life.
If all you think about is girls,sex,interest levels,attraction,DHVs,"what if she rejects me?",and everything else concerning dating,then mentally you'll burn yourself out.

Quote:
Originally Posted by gottagetthatgirl
I just feel like saying "if you want to hang with me then do it!"
Yes,I know this feeling. But you've been here long enough to know that you can't do this and be successful.

Quote:
Originally Posted by gottagetthatgirl
I mean I dont know why it took me so long to see this. I guess I just reached a breaking point. Im always trying to make the girl happy or prove to her that im better than other guys.
Why are you trying to make the girl happy? All you have to do is just build attraction,she'll do the rest. Look at Rhianna and Chris Brown. You think she's happy getting bit,punched,and beat upside her head? Of course not,but you know what? She let her feelings/attraction for him override his bad behavior.

Don't go for happiness,go for attraction. If you do that,then she'll take care of the happiness part herself.

Quote:
Originally Posted by gottagetthat girl
I dont have a car so that drags me down, I feel like no girl wants me when I dont have a car.
Well,I'm not going to lie to you. Some girls may look down on you for not having a car. However,I don't this it's so much the car itself as for what it represents,which is freedom,independence,and being self-sufficient. Qualities women want in a man. But hey,if you just had some girl over to your place 3 days ago,then obviously the car issue is something you're able to overcome.

Quote:
Originally Posted by gottagetthatgirl
im just tired of trying to "win" girls over when they should be trying to "win" me over.
Ok,well if you're tired of doing it,then WHY are you doing it? If you're trying to win them over,then that means your mentalitly is off. In other words,me telling you to "stop trying to win them over" isn't going to cut it. You'll need to examine your thinking to find out why you're trying to win them over win it should be the other way around. And unfortunately,you won't be able to do this in a day or two. It'll take some time.

One thing that might help you is to stop thinking that each woman you come into contact with is "the one",and you HAVE TO get "it" right this time.
That kind of thinking puts you under pressure.

Just chill out man. Let girls/dating be A PART of you life rater than the main focus. Like your job. When you're at work,do all you can. Put in 100%. Then when you're at school,forget about work,then put all you have into school. Then when it comes to dating,do all you can there. There's no one part that's everything.
__________________
Tired of female excuses?

Any of this sound familiar?

"I'm busy."
"I have to work".
"I'm meeting my friends".
"I lost my phone".

Be a man and get back in contol.

Read THIS!
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Old 05-04-2009, 03:16 PM   #9
gottagetthatgirl
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thanks for the detailed reply. You touched up on some good areas. I think your right, they need to win me over. I dont need to stress these girls. I will be kinda nice to them but not stress them. Im just going to act like they are fat girls.

Yea fat girls like me and I dont show interest so they continue to like me. So I think I might picture hot girls as fat girls maybe.
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Old 05-04-2009, 03:47 PM   #10
Dannyrt34
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Igetit!
This "Don Juan"/picking up girls thing WILL wear you down and frustrate you.....IF you make it your life.
If all you think about is girls,sex,interest levels,attraction,DHVs,"what if she rejects me?",and everything else concerning dating,then mentally you'll burn yourself out..

THIS

Sometimes you need to forget about all this crap. Just live your life. When you're out with a girl, forget about building attraction and the right time to kino and just have fun doing whatever, take in the moment.
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Old 05-04-2009, 06:11 PM   #11
Kevin Feng
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I learned this from both Asian Playboy and Johnny Wolf, just as a basic rule of thumb, when it comes to texting/calling, you want to practice the rule of 3 before nexting the girl. Call/text her up to three times and if she keeps flaking on you, NEXT GIRL.

As far as time goes, you should wait about a day, two tops after the initial meeting to call her back, otherwise she'll just forget about you.

With text messages, you want to keep them short and funny, your texts should always be shorter than hers, if yours are too long, your giving out too much value.

That's about all the micromanagement you should need with text game, hope that helps, shoot me a PM if you have any detailed questions.

-Kevin
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