Advice on getting someone out of afc-ness

Hey guys,

I have this friend, actually my best friend since childhood, he´s a great guy, he can fare reasonably well with women but when it comes to relationships he inevitably goes totally afc, he has the mindset of the perfect special woman and does everything to please them, presents, stressing special occasions, stuff like that. Well, his last gf just dumped him 2 or 3 months ago, he wanted to get back to her really bad, so I coached him for a while and things were looking good but he couldnt keep it up and just went back to his afc thing, leaving her presents on the car, calling her, getting really frustrated when she gave him the cold shoulder, stuff like that.
Long story short, I´ve been trying to "convert" him, feeding him selected posts and articles, explaining certain mechanics to him, but he just dismisses this as nonsense and something that could never possible work and just makes fun of it. Well, I can understand where´s hes coming from, it does seem to good to be true at first and on the other hand he has this notion that this approach would take romance out of life. Thing is, im starting to feel like banging my had on the wall everytime he starts complaining about his situation.
Any ideas if its possible to "convert" someone like this, or he´ll just have to crash and burn until he learns?

Thanks guys.

I'm no expert, but i think its probably like alcoholism/drugs etc... first you have to admit to have a problem. you've done your best, probably time for some tough luv. when he starts b!tchin about his relationship tell him stfu! you don't want to hear it.

As a recovering alcoholic and AFC I might have a solution.
Your friend needs to hit rock bottom.
I was pretty good with woman but would always act AFC when the games and tests came around. After dealing with a HPD and having my guts ripped out I had the opportunity to make some changes. Today I'm a sober DJ but it took time.
When your friend deals with "the one" he will be ready to receive his DJ training.

It becomes not only a waste of time, but YOU start to become frustrated when they won't listen. I've got a friend who saw a prediction I made unravel about one of these girls who was using him for attention. He started doing things the right way and was getting results, but couldn't handle the subsequent "tests" she through out to confuse him so he went back to his usual routine of giving attention with no sex in return. After that, I stopped caring about what my friends are doing, it causes me additional stress I certainly don't need.

All you guys have just perfectly described many aspects of the situation... we´ll I guess I´ll just watch him go trough the whole thing from a distance. What scares me the most is that he is 34 and still has this idea that some women are special and won´t put you trough the tests and games, and are honest and non scheming little b*tches :crazy: , he basically thinks he can take what they say on face value and then behaving like in the movies is appropriate... and also has this chivalresque attitude that he must keep at what hes doing and one day it will happen, like he´s on a quest or something. :nervous:

You've done your due diligence as a friend. I agree, a guy has to see the light on his own before he can turn things around.

Thirty-four?? Man, I'm 33, and I've been on Sosuave nine years. And I thought I started late in life.

"When the student is ready the teacher will appear".

Sadly some students will never be ready to accept true reality which will unravel their entire worldview so they continuously brush off your offer of help with such self defeating words as "its ridiculous", "won't work" and the like.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=141760

Victory Unlimited details some such sad cases in his great post provided at that link.

Some guys just never learn.

You've done your part now its up to your friend to continue beating his head against a brick wall.

Who knows eventually he may realize he's not getting anything except a constant headache, decide thats undesireable and finally be ready to apply what you have to teach him.

Until he's ready he'll exist in that proverbial grave of lost AFC souls that Victory Unlimited wrote about.