The "I'm Busy" excuse

Do you guys really believe a girl when she uses "I'm Busy" as an excuse for not going out with you? I've asked this girl out twice so far, but both times she used this excuse saying, "Oh I can't, I already made plans for that day" or "I'm Busy" blah blah blah. Now one thing is for sure I know this girl does do a lot of extracurricular things but I just don't know how busy she really is. This girl offered to hang out someother time but she was really vague with it. I'm not sure what I should do next either because, I really don't want to come off as needy, but I don't want her to lose interest either because I know she is interested. I'm not definitely not an AFC, I just want to know if you guys buy this excuse.

If she wants to see you, she'll be cooperative with setting up plans.


However, there are girls who have the whole 'shy' thing going on, or who consider setting up a date as a confrontation-type thing that they have to deal with (young girls with low interest level, or girls who havent had a relationship before). Their defences get in the way. I've heard many times of girl who like a guy but are unsure of him and feel like a first date is some big commitment, so they tiptoe around having to commit to the date with you with excuses.
Someone said before that girls may LJBF you just out of reflex to avoid the confrontation, but it doesn't necessarily mean they aren't into you. They just feel like it's more convenient to dodge the confrontation and drama associated with going on a date with someone they aren't hugely crushing on.

It's pretty messy

I'm in the same situation, this girl always comes looking for me (we work in the same building) but has changed our date plans 3 times now.

1.She was unwell, the next morning she came to see me face to face and told me she was really sorry and was unwell.

2.i said friday and she said fine, next day she say's she's going bristol, so she tell's me sunday.

3.Well sunday is here and she never text me or anything.

I'm lost on what to do, do i show her how annoyed i am and avoid her or what.

this is how you take care of this situations......DTB= dump that bvthc.....
Im too busy means:I changed my mind, I gave you my phone number because I didnt want to hurt your feelings by rejecting you. you are a nice guy but Ill never fvck you. leave me along and dont waste your time with me anymore....
when a girl really likes you and she cant go on a date with you she will make up another date herself in order to be with you. they say
" sorry, Im busy on thursday but Ill be available on saturday after 9 pm, what you think?"

Demonicale said:

I'm lost on what to do, do i show her how annoyed i am and avoid her or what.

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No. Who cares?

Next time she tries to pull this, I would say something like: "You're wasting my time with this. If you want to hang out then make time otherwise go by yourself." I've used this before to cut the BS. The message, not the exact words.

A little annoyed but that's about it. I would have better things to do than argue with a chick like that. I would still be friendly. Its not a big deal, its just annoying.

FiveFive said:

but I don't want her to lose interest either because I know she is interested.

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How do you know she is interested??!! because she tells you so?! If a girl does the opposite of what she tells you then is she telling the truth?? or is she lying? you are smart enough to know that answer.

I'm busy is the standard rejection line. If someone was really busy and really interested they would counter offer for another day in which they weren't busy.

Alle_Gory said:

No. Who cares?

Next time she tries to pull this, I would say something like: "You're wasting my time with this. If you want to hang out then make time otherwise go by yourself." I've used this before to cut the BS. The message, not the exact words.

A little annoyed but that's about it. I would have better things to do than argue with a chick like that. I would still be friendly. Its not a big deal, its just annoying.

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Normally i would'nt have a problem telling her "like it is" but as she's REALLY SHY and very very nice it's hard...I dunno, i think if i see her tomorrow i'll say something along the lines of

"hey what happened about sunday?!"

If she gives me some crap exscuse i can see myself getting pissed and just saying...

"look here's the thing...i like you alot...but what's the point if everytime we say we're going to meet you cancel or change it or whatever..you either want to or not..maybe you should think about that for awhile?"...and then i'll walk off.

"i like you alot."
dont ever say that garbage.

Demonicale said:

Normally i would'nt have a problem telling her "like it is" but as she's REALLY SHY and very very nice it's hard...I dunno, i think if i see her tomorrow i'll say something along the lines of

"hey what happened about sunday?!"

If she gives me some crap exscuse i can see myself getting pissed and just saying...

"look here's the thing...i like you alot...but what's the point if everytime we say we're going to meet you cancel or change it or whatever..you either want to or not..maybe you should think about that for awhile?"...and then i'll walk off.

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No you don't like her alot. Even if you do, you don't say it. Its just one of those things.

With that statement you're putting her on the spot. To react, one way or another. Ultimatums don't work. In general. Not just with chicks.

Read "How to Win Friends and Influence People" or just observe your friends and other people you know for what to do, and what not to do.

MisterMcGee said:

"i like you alot."
dont ever say that garbage.

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Actually your right...ok what would you say in mu situation?...i'm not use to girls messing me around like this tbh.

Demonicale said:

Actually your right...ok what would you say in mu situation?...i'm not use to girls messing me around like this tbh.

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Get used to it and expect it.

wuddya know, same here.

Theres is this one girl at work also. Lets call her chick B..she stares at me, whichever location i go at my work i can predict she'll either be there, or going to be walking by there.. and ive noticed she parks her car behind my car whenever im there.... weird i think (i asked for her number and told her we should hangout and go drinking just as friends with my friends. and called her up few weeks later when I had some free time finally. She said she can't hangout because she had to come in 3am that morning for work.. which she really did.

She's the very quiet type compared to the other girls at work who show REAL interest.. they grab you, hug you, initiates convo, makes sexual innuendos, etc etc

Ive run into 2 girls like this .

One chick, i asked for her number. Lets call her chick A. She gives it to me.

I call her up couple months later to schedule a date
me: "hey its me etc etc
chick: "oh hi etc etc
me: "So are you free this friday?
chick : "mm im not... but im free this sunday!?"
me: "okay, im not free sunday, ill call you again some other time"
chick "okay

more months later
I call her up again
Me; "hey its me etc etc
chick "oh HIIII, you said you'd call back! what happened?
Me: "well, i just did just now "

Anyway, some chicks are old fashioned.. I think.. they'll pick up the phone but you always have to be the one initiating the calls.. If you can't agree on a time, she SHOULD at least make alternatives like the situation above.

So the 2nd oldfashioned chick I was talking about was chick B. People at work thinks she has no personality whatsoever because she's like the quiet type.. to the point people start to think she's a lesbian

i would just leave her alone. You shouldnt be that desperate for her.

Do yourself some good by reading the Anti-Dump's Machine in the DJ Bible.

verysuave said:

i would just leave her alone. You shouldnt be that desperate for her.

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I don't try to look for her or anything now...yeah i use to cause i had to goto her department...but now whenever i don't make an effort she comes into my place of work looking for me...it's soo messed up.

I got one of those where i work. they want your attention.
she told me "can we stay like what we are?" when confronted with accepting or declining my date offer.
I didnt answer, I know this game and what she's doing. She talked to me and stuff afterwards like nothing happened, thats what these girls do.

heyguys, just leave the ladies alone. Just don't even ask they "oh what happened sunday"

just leave them alone, seriously.. stop caring too much. Trust me, theyll come to you if they were really that interested.

and IF or when they come to you, just be nice and tease =). Dont bring up past crap.

MisterMcGee said:

I got one of those where i work. they want your attention.
she told me "can we stay like what we are?" when confronted with accepting or declining my date offer.
I didnt answer, I know this game and what she's doing. She talked to me and stuff afterwards like nothing happened, thats what these girls do.

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I don't get it, whatever game she is playing it stops today...if i see her tomorrow i'm just going to be distant as i've lost all intrest in her now.

As far as i'm concerned she had her chance with me, and it could've been great..but it's not meant to be so i'll move on

verysuave said:

heyguys, just leave the ladies alone. Just don't even ask they "oh what happened sunday"

just leave them alone, seriously.. stop caring too much. Trust me, theyll come to you if they were really that interested.

and IF or when they come to you, just be nice and tease =). Dont bring up past crap.

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That was the first thing i thought of doing, it's really helpful to have your replies guys...appreciate it.

Demonicale said:

I don't get it, whatever game she is playing it stops today...if i see her tomorrow i'm just going to be distant as i've lost all intrest in her now.

As far as i'm concerned she had her chance with me, and it could've been great..but it's not meant to be so i'll move on

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good for you bud