Asking a girl out via text messaging

[Kal0051]

What is your take on this? I'm thinking about asking out that girl I talked about recently (the one that gave me her number but who I think has a boyfriend). I want to make it casual, I want to ask her out for drinks in a nice bar. I'm thinking about doing it in a text message kinda like the following:

me: Hey, how was your night the other day?
her: blah, blah, blah
me: reply to whatever she said
me: you know what, we should go out for drinks one night next week. When are you free?
if she says yes:
me: great! I'll meet you at x place, at x time. Sound good?
her:blah, blah, blah
me: cool, see you then.
if she says no:
me: oh, that's cool, see ya around.

if she says no then I'll just put her in my casual friends category. But hopefully she'll say yes. So what do you think about my approach? Keep in mind that I probably won't phrase it exactly the same, this is just an example.

[COD]

dude thats a conversation.......a text is for yes no responses, directions, address, digits, quick flirts.

Text something simple, then call her up and say that exact conversation ONLY TALKING WITH HER ON THE PHONE.

Don't substitute texts for conversation..........THE YOUTH are killing the art of conversation. Texts do not convey humor, tonality, inflection as well as a good old conversation.

The original purpose of texting was to have private conversations, relying on texting as a primary source of communication is like hiding from behind the safety zone of your computer. It will make face time a lot easier if you talk rather than text.

WWDJD=what would a DJ Do
IRLU=I really like you......sounds way better when U say it!!!!

NSNCH=nuff said now call her

[slickaz]

first off
be a gentleman.dont ask her out hiding behind a phone.

if you wanna be a man, stand up and go after what you want.
call her, be confident and say hey, i think we should grab coffee sometime next week. be funny through your phone call, get her relaxed.then ask.

but dont ask a girl out via text, thats for 12 yr olds who havent had their nads drop yet.

are you gonna kiss her through texts too?? no, so ask her face to face or voice call. besides, she can sense your intentions with your voice, and you can sense her intentions with her reply. if its straight up No, then you'll know not to ask, if its a wayward excuse with a no, then you know she may be on the fence and needs more work.

get out there, be a man, do the right thing! lol

[MisterMcGee]

Here's a paraphrased text I had with a girl today. She's going away to florida on vacation in a couple weeks or whatnot. We got back in touch maybe a week ago and I told her we'll set something up when I'm not busy. I'm returning to school so I've been-and-will-be busy for weeks.

me: "hey its mistermcgee id call but im at work ahah prob wont be able to go out til after valentines-ish. Whenre you back from orange land. bring moi back an orange"
her: "hah bla bla i leave on Xday at like 2am so no worries i'll getcha a jug of o.j."
(yes, she told me when she's leaving, not when she's coming back. Chalk this up to miscommunication. get used to miscommunications when texting, forget it happened. keep things simple)

me:"we'll go out after the return. and definitely only if its with pulp"
her:"haha alright"

This is a girl I've gotten back in touch with over facebook (i commented on her status, she wrote back to me, we had a couple back and forths (no boring crap like 'whats up', i dont have time for that crap). I introduced 'us meeting up' quickly as to let her know im not tiptoeing.

There's another girl I've yet to call back to set a date because I let her know I'm going to be busy for a while.

[horaholic]

Everything about this is 100% AFC. First of all, if you want to keep it casual, CALL her, and say 'lets get a drink tonight. When do you get off?' If you are going to go the pvssy, texting route, (and she will think you're a complete ***** if you do this) make it straight to the point. Once again a simple 'lets get a drink after your off work. I'll be here, at this time.' Act like your asking one of your buddies to grab a beer!!!!!

For the hell of it, I'll analyze further:

Originally Posted by Kal0051

me: Hey, how was your night the other day?

Dont say this. You dont care, and she knows you dont care. Also, 'how was your night the other day,' is totally retarded sounding. Im sure you wouldnt actually send that though, just pointing it out.


her: blah, blah, blah

me: reply to whatever she said
me: you know what, we should go out for drinks one night next week. When are you free?

Fvck this 'next week' shyt. Ask for THAT night, or maybe tomorrow. You're making it sound too 'datey.' You're not asking her for a date, your asking her for a drink. Dont complicate it, or make it awkward. Keep it casual, like you said. Pretend your asking one of your buddies to grab a beer. Its that simple.

if she says yes:
me: great! I'll meet you at x place, at x time. Sound good?

Throw some humor in, with sexual intent. "You better look good, so guys will buy you drinks that you can give to me." Something like that. You are not showing any confidence, cockiness, sense of humor, or manliness. You're setting yourself up to be her 'girlfriend.'
her:blah, blah, blah

me: cool, see you then.

Once again, playful humor. give her a reason to want to hang out with you.

if she says no:
me: oh, that's cool, see ya around.

WRONG ANSWER! You're not asking for a date, she wont say no. She might be busy or something, so name another time.

if she says no then I'll just put her in my casual friends category. But hopefully she'll say yes. So what do you think about my approach? Keep in mind that I probably won't phrase it exactly the same, this is just an example.

Sorry, but your whole approach idea sucks. stick to the actual CALL, and say 'lets go get a drink in a couple of hours. I heard of a place I want to try.'

And if you dont make any moves on her when you do this, you will be her GIRLFRIEND. You are a MAN. You must unapologetically make your moves on this woman. Until she tells you to back off, youmove forward. Dont give me any of this 'Im not gonna try and fvck her' bullshyt either. Thats vagina talk. Your job is to fvck her asap. If you cant get her, move on to her friends.

[BustedKnucks]

If you want to ask her to come out via text it should go like this

"hey girl's name it's your name want to come with me to bar/party/restaurant tonight?"

she will either say yes or give an excuse if she gives an excuse next her.

[Kal0051]

@ horaholic, I know the approach was kinda weak, that's why I was posting, I hoped people would help me come up with a better one. Your did offer some good tips though. And most of that example conversation is just some made up crap, I wouldn't actually say most of that, I just wanted to give a feel for how I wanted it to go. But thanks, I'll abandon the texting idea, I'll just call.

[BustedKnucks]

A lot of girls think texting is a sign of low self esteem too. Make sure she knows you're full of yourself before you text her.

[MisterMcGee]

"I just wanted to give a feel for how I wanted it to go. But thanks, I'll abandon the texting idea, I'll just call."
You're taking the 'ask' too literally in 'ask her out'. You don't ask "is that good for you?" and say things like "great!!" if she says yes. You gotta act like it's no big deal, and she'll follow suit. Just going on a date, no biggie. - that's the attitude.
If you don't have this mindset, then it doesn't matter if you text her or call her.

And you don't ned to "open" girls when on the phone or texting. If you want to loosen conversation or set a vibe, then simply be funny or be a goof or say something random. Don't ask her "how was your night?" or "whats up?" and so forth, it's annoying and delays the inevitable.

[Kal0051]

lol, thanks for the help everyone. doesn't matter much now though. Brought up the idea with her, she seems pretty keen.