The REAL reason why "nice guys" finish last!

“Nice Guys Finish Last”

Every dating guru out there says “be a nice guy”. Most women say it too. Because that’s what society tells them they should look for. But that’s not really what they desire. Have you ever ended up as the “best friend” that girls will never sleep with – while they will sleep with that bad boy they just met last week? Whatever happened to “I want to find a nice guy?” That’s merely what they tell you when you already are a nice guy – when you have lowered your value, de-sexualized yourself, she will exclude you from her secret reality – that she really desires a sexual, dominant rake. This is not socially acceptable and yet it is reality. The nice guy will never find out, because the woman will never let him in on the secret. The guys she will let in, already know it. They are the Casanovas, the secret society of men who know the secret desires of women.

And the Nice Guys will continue banging their heads against the wall, wondering why they are always ending up as a friend instead as a lover. And maybe ten years down the line, a woman will finally decide she wants to settle down with the Nice Guy. He naively thinks she “loves” him. In reality she feels no sexual attraction to him at all – she only wants money and “stability”. And they will get married. Sex will be very rare. And the woman will always invent an excuse: “I’m not in the mood”/ “I’m tired”/ “I don’t like sex”… and he continues buying her expensive gifts to show he cares. She doesn’t bat an eye. They argue, the nice guy tries to win – and loses. She *****es, he lets himself be *****ed. She has several affairs behind his back – oh yes, NOW she miraculously enjoys sex – then denies everything and claims she only love him. The next day, she’s yelling at him and throwing pots and pans. The nice guy gets divorced, loses half his life savings, and concludes that women are all *****y *****s who only want a man for his money.

But all of the woman’s secret lovers will know better. They will know what she hid from him. They know there is a repressed feminine desire burning within her cold crotch. They are members of the secret society – the men whose behavior is dominant, sexual, and attractive, thus unlocking the gates to her cave and taking down her fence. She will long to please them in any way they desire. She may even spend money on them – her husband’s money! For while they are all pleasure to her, her husband is all pain (though he knows it not). She feels awkward in front of him, cold and repressed – simply because he’s not the sort of man she can be herself with. He is supplicating, submissive, and often relies on her to make all the decisions. He also tries to reason with her all the time, relying on argument rather than charisma to make her like him. He complains to her all the time – this is how women argue with each other. She feels like she’s arguing with another woman, and she can feel no attraction to this feminized man. Yet her lovers never EVER try to reason with her. They even push her away at times – and she chases them! They play by their own rules, never trying to reason with her to change hers. So she’s the one trying to tame them, not the other way around. They NEVER have to put up with “*****y” attitude from her. In their presence, she doesn’t have it. She’s a totally different person.

Why this seemingly two-faced difference in women’s attitudes? Why is she a ***** to the nice guy, and a willing sex slave to the rakish womanizer? She simply acts on emotion. She never feels any emotional attachment to nice guys – if she is anything more than friends with them, she uses them for money (though not all women do this, many of them see nothing wrong with it – to them, the nice guy is not a real man, so how can he have any sexual desires?). Yet in the presence of Casanovas and Don Juans, the cold, manipulative exterior evaporates, and the soft, earthly, voluptuous girl inside comes out. She will do anything to please him, since he brings out the best in her.

THE IMAGE YOU PROJECT DETERMINES HOW THE WOMEN WILL RESPOND. And whatever response you attract, becomes your reality. The nice guy only attracts a woman’s coldness and contempt, and maybe her manipulative tendencies – so in his reality, all women only want looks, money, etc. because those were the only responses his attitude and behavior brought out in women. The Casanova only attracts a woman’s sexual energy, so in his reality, all women want sex, and they all want to be led, swept off their feet, and to some extent dominated. To the Casanova, women are not evil, cold manipulators – they are lusty, sex-crazed nymphos who only want his rod – not his looks or his bank account.

The fact that women are emotional beings is a great asset to you, because it leads to a startling realization: What women really are, is whatever you want them to be – or rather, whatever you bring out in them. The Casanova brings out their raunchy wild side, that couldn’t care less how rich, young, or handsome (or old, poor, and ugly) he is. The nice guy only brings out their cold, reserved, ***** shield.

Most men, never having gotten out of the nice guy category, think women are nothing but headaches and that women often don’t make any sense. They seem to do so many contradictory things. But actually women make perfect sense once you understand their inner nature. Women act to put up barriers between themselves and the needy, supplicating nice guy. They don’t want that spineless loser dragging them down. But they take down barriers to members of the secret society – because these are high-value men who are already in demand from other women. They are dominant, decisive, confident, spontaneous, and self-validated. Subconsciously, women assume these must be the men with the best genes, the most masculine men, the ones that every woman needs to mate with to have the fittest, most adaptable offspring. Their money, looks, and intelligence don’t matter nearly as much as the manly energy they project. It’s true, this Darwinian sex drive powers women’s sexual choices far more than any conscious thought process – even when they have no intention of having children, in their subconscious, they have no objection to bearing that stud’s babies some time in the future. And so they have sex with him, to get closer to him. They don’t think to choose a sex partner, they feel.

It’s a simple enough matter to explain: the reason why nice guys and seducers get such extremely different results with women is that seducers project all the right attractive, sexual behaviors, while nice guys project all the wrong, unattractive, anti-sexual ones. One sends up a woman’s ***** shield, the other melts it down like hot wax. So then we get to the question – why does the nice guy project all the wrong behaviors? We were all taught women like “nice guys”. Does he not do even one attractive thing?

Well, even if he does, the problem is that he does so many unattractive things, that he completely turns her off and destroys the effect of any attractive things he did. He may make her laugh with a witty joke, but then start trying to impress her with ten more jokes in a row – which looks desperate, try-hard, and ruins the value of that one joke. He may walk in all confident, but then start begging her “do you need anything, can I get you anything?” ten times in an hour. He gets nervous, desperately trying to please her and make her comfortable, sensing that something’s wrong, that she’s hiding her true feelings from him. His nervous behavior makes her feel uncomfortable as well. This was supposed to be a fun time for her. From the woman’s point of view, is the guy that “doesn’t make any sense”. Why is he ruining their date, outing, or fun evening? “Okay, I’m fine,” she wants to tell him, “just stop asking me!” But she keeps this to herself, hoping he finally gets the hint and stops supplicating, stops trying so hard to please her.

To the woman, it can often be a total mystery why he acts like that. But behind his eager-to-please exterior, the nice guy knows all too well the root of his nervous behavior. He is insecure and overcompensating for it.

Insecurity is the Enemy of Seduction

The reasons why most guys mess up with women are many in number, yet they all stem from the same root, and this root is often so concealed in negative emotions, insecurities, and mis-information that the very obviousness of it rarely gets seen.

The root of failure with women is INSECURITY. Insecurity is the mental state of a guy who can not see the reality about women and life in general – he sees threats and dangers everywhere. He’s always thinking “I better not mess this up” or “I don’t want to risk offending her with my opinions”… In other words, the insecure guys out there are walking on eggshells. They try to act “nice” because all their lives they have been told by parents, teachers, the media, etc. that “nice” is what girls are attracted to. This is total nonsense. Girls feel NO attraction to nice guys. And I will explain precisely why that is so.

Now of course I am not advocating being a total jerk or an ******* to girls. Being abusive and genuinely cruel towards them will also fail to attract them (though it CAN be immensely satisfying! Nah, I’m just kidding. Calm down, all you sadistic bastards!)

But when I see normal, polite guys acting paranoid that they’ll somehow offend or repulse the girl they’re dating, when in fact they don’t have a single mean bone in their body, I feel sick. Really, I do. I used to be that way, so I know what it feels like to be a “nice guy”, always trying so hard and never getting any! But it still makes me sick to remember how embarrassing it was. They are being especially “nice” to girls they barely know – girls that have not even earned their favors!

What’s wrong with these guys is that their “niceness” comes from a place of insecurity. Just under the surface, girls can tell when a guy is going out of his way to cater to their every need, and they can see that he does this because he is insecure about himself. He is insecure about his own self-worth, so he tries to overcompensate by buying drinks, asking her to plan the date (i.e. asking her “what do you like to do?” instead of getting her to try new things). This happens to a lot of guys. It may have even happened to you. So pay attention: this insecurity is precisely what girls often refer to as “not being yourself”.

Now this leads us to a deeper question: why is there insecurity? Why do so many guys feel insecure and show all this “nice guy” behavior around girls? After all, we should know what causes it in order to permanently solve the problem. If you’ve ever felt nervous around a girl, then the answer is already within you. Look at what kind of questions you silently ask yourself: “what if she doesn’t like me?”… “Did she notice my smile?”… “Does she like me? DOES she?”… “Is she having a good time? Am I doing anything wrong?”… “Why is she looking away?”… “Why is she looking at that guy?”… “Why is she going to the bathroom whenever I try to tell her something about myself?”… “Why is she always checking her watch or cellphone?”… “Why doesn’t she want to hold hands?”… “Why did she push me away when I tried to kiss her?”… “Why is she ignoring me?”… “Why does she want to go home now?”… “WHY is she saying “lets just be friends”? NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!”

Now if you find that you asked yourself any of these insecure questions in your mind, you probably were VERY worried about losing that girl. She was probably very special to you. Why? Was it that she was so beautiful? Was it that she showed some initial interest in you? Did that interest seem rare? Precious? Did you feel lucky? Did you feel that you may never get a chance like this again? For that is the reason most guys feel nervous and insecure around women. And that is why they mess up.

Most guys are insecure because they operate with their minds frozen in a “scarcity mentality”. Basically, they assume that it’s hard to attract women unless you have good looks, a fancy car, etc. They also assume that most or all of the attractive women are unapproachable, or have boyfriends, or are otherwise off-limits to them. Thus, they see scarcity. Everywhere. An abundance of scarcity! Now how’s that for a paradox?

As a result, when a girl does show interest in an “average” guy, he gets desperate. He tries to think of every way it could go wrong, and worries about how to fix problems that have not ever occurred yet. Thus, he ends up being a “nice guy”, trying to cater to the girl’s every whim. Indeed, the very source of nice-guy behavior is nervous desperation – and the very definition of nervous desperation is to be worrying about fixing problems that haven’t happened yet! The mental “loser formula” thus progresses as follows:

Scarcity mentality  Insecurity  nervous desperation  “nice guy” behavior

Scarcity-survival mentality (or, “the Dark Side of Cave-manning”)

Now there’s a little trick to how the human mind works that allows you to turn the whole situation around and ELIMINATE nervous desperation so you can actually attract women instead of frantically fawning over them.

Nervous desperation can only arise when you come from a frame of SCARCITY. Imagine you are trying to catch a train to a party in a different city. Now imagine that you arrive at the train station and find out you missed the train. The loser would get all worried and nervous and start working himself into a neurotic frenzy, and go home. The winner would ask the ticket seller for a free train schedule and find out that there are 3 more trains headed to the same destination city, that will arrive at the station in only 10 minutes! Now most guys see girls with a “loser” mindset. They waste time on girls they have already turned off, and often ignore other girls that are ready to be seduced. They waste opportunities, or sometimes don’t even see them.

Instead of keeping his options open, the nice guy clings to one girl frantically, fearing that if she walks away, he will never have another chance – this fear is based on his perception that there is scarcity – not just scarcity of women, but scarcity of the possibility that any of them will like him: he already sees himself as undeserving and low-value, and ironically this fear causes him to become low-value. “She’s the ONE, I have to be really nice or else I’ll lose her” is a typical scarcity-frame excuse. “All the hot girls have boyfriends” is another one. Both of these pessimistic attitudes make nice guys very unattractive to women. A real Casanova won’t even consider a woman’s boyfriends an obstacle. You want the girl, not her boyfriend’s position. And many times the boyfriend is not even real. It’s an excuse to get rid of needy guys that she feels no attraction to (we’ll get into this later in depth). And if he sees this girl as just another girl, with an “abundance mentality” then he feels no need to get worried over this girl – he can tease her, joke around with her, and ignore the boyfriend entirely! And many times, the girl will admit she was lying later on, or even cheat on a real boyfriend.

But most guys are blind to this truth. Most guys see tons of imaginary obstacles in the way of them getting the girl. They often get discouraged the very first time, and assume things like “all the girls are taken” or “I don’t have enough money to attract women” or “only the few best-looking guys can get the girl”. Where do all these negative beliefs come from? Part of the answer has to do with flawed popular beliefs about women, and part of it has to do with the ancient origins of the scarcity mentality. Some guys see scarcity in everything – in their lifestyle, in their behavior, and even in what they have to work with in seduction. They just feel inadequate, even if they are fabulously wealthy and successful! The question is, where did this scarcity mentality come from?

Well, let’s go back to when man first started living in communities. Yes, cave-man times. The Stone Age. If you lived back then, you would belong to a tribe and live the life of a hunter-gatherer. And hunter-gatherer tribes ALWAYS had to deal with scarcity. Scarcity of food, water, shelter, security, and life expectancy. You had a short life, and had only a few years to find a mate, reproduce and pass on your genes. Now there was always someone who always got the best of what the tribe had to offer. He was the tribal leader. Sometimes he was the strongest warrior, or the best hunter. However he rose to the top, he had to fight other males to stay there. And he got any woman he wanted, because he was the only law in the tribe.

Now assume you are a young man in the tribe. And these tribes were small - 50 people or less. And out of them, about half of them would be women (more if some of the men were killed while hunting or by rival tribes). Now many of these women would be already taken by another man. And others would be too old to reproduce. So among a tribe of 50, there might have been only 8 young, sexually suitable women available for a man to mate with. Those were not very good odds. This is the very root of the scarcity mentality.

But it gets worse. Back then, your very survival depended on finding a mate – it was instinct. And there was more trouble to come. If the tribal leader or one of his friends were eyeing those same girls, then trying to attract one of those girls could result in you getting your skull cracked open by the tribal leader and his posse. And even if the girl you were trying to attract was not desired by the big boys, one mistake and she would tell all of her 7 friends about it. If her friends were there with her, it would get even worse: they would judge you, and if they didn’t like you for whatever reason, she would never go with you. Whereas men only competed with each other, women were already engaged in a cooperative “sisterhood” where the opinions of their friends were paramount. You would INSTANTLY lose social value, and failing to attract one girl could ruin you chances with all of them – even worse, it could make you an outcast. And a man with no tribe would be a man with no future. Not only was he less safe from big predators – he also had no mate and no way of passing on his genes. He was, for all practical purposes, sterile.

And so when approaching a potential mate, he had to be VERY careful. Back then being careful was more important than being bold – the name of the game was SURVIVAL – or, to put it more precisely, Scarcity-Survival. And over thousands of generations it became an evolutionary instinct wired into men’s brains. It was a “safe” instinct to have, because early in human evolution, there were NO guarantees. You had no clue if you were going to have enough to eat the next day, there was no safety from predators or other males, and there was NO way of knowing who else had their eyes on the girl you desired, or what would happen if you made a wrong move – there were only a few available females, and you only had a few chances to get it right!

Now fast forward a bit to the Middle Ages. At this point, human society had advanced far past the level of the Stone Age. But scarcity was STILL a big factor – this time because the crude tribal hierarchy of the Caveman had evolved into the strict class structure of feudalistic Europe (or feudalistic China/Japan/India/Aztecs/Incas/ or whatever empire it was). In all of these societies, there was a rigid class structure, and the best luxuries were reserved for the nobility and the kings. There were very rigid rules of marriage and prohibitions on extra-marital sex – but the noblemen could often break these laws at will and get away with it. Women were of course denied this privilege and confined to the home (yet they still attempted revenge – women often withheld sex or used their virginity as bait to tempt potential suitors and get what they wanted – and thus discovered their fatal power over the Average Frustrated Chump). And poor men had no choice at all. Peasants could only marry peasants, no matter how ugly. Yet rich men would often take peasant girls as their mistresses if they were attractive enough. The traditions and laws of feudal society were designed to benefit the rich and well-connected at the expense of everyone else. So the most beautiful women were STILL reserved for the “tribal leaders”. And scarcity in choosing a mate was still a VERY real part of life. Swiving a woman of a higher social class was often punishable by death! In some parts of the world, it still is. In addition, screwing the wrong woman back then would, at the very least, result in your entire family being disgraced, and you would be an outcast. You would lose all respect in your society, and possibly all of your friends and allies.

So as a result of both Cave-man tribalism and rigid feudal society, men have always had the anxiety of scarcity and fear of punishment weighing on their minds. And this anxiety became ingrained into their instincts. It still affects men today. We may think we live in a modern, egalitarian world, where the poor can become rich, where the little guy can become a tribal leader in every material way – but we are STILL seeing women from a frame of scarcity – just like our much less fortunate Caveman ancestors.

The fact is that your brain is like a machine. But it is a very outdated machine. Its basic programming is over 40,000 years old! In out modern society, where we have cultural norms, laws, and law enforcement to prevent some guy from cracking your skull open over a girl, most men are still perpetually scared of really interacting with a woman. Just interacting, mind you! The instinctive male inside is still afraid something bad might happen. And in fact, he is often more scared of the woman losing attraction than of a possible “boyfriend” threatening his life. He is still thinking in terms of the 8 available cave girls – in other words, scarcity. Ironically, this burning desire not to “mess this up” makes a man so nervous that he makes the girl uncomfortable with him, and ultimately he messes it up!

The 10 WORST mistakes “nice-guys” make with Women

1. Complimenting a woman too much and too desperately. A little compliment here and there doesn’t hurt, but always telling a girl she is beautiful will hurt your game. Or kill it outright. This shows that you only value her for her looks, and that you are obsessed with her – both of which are traits of needy guys desperate for sex. And women feel no attraction for frustrated losers.

2. Buying her dinner, drinks, and gifts. A real seducer will never waste money on a girl that hasn’t legitimately EARNED his favor. Showering girls with favors will only cause them to see you as chump with no personality, who has to buy women’s company. It is little better than prostitution, and they will see right through it. Expensive dinner dates and bouquets often result in “lets just be friends”… and if she’s really considerate, one of those rare women who are truly caring and have a good heart, she MAY tell you reluctantly that you’re trying too hard.

3. Giving away your power to her (begging). Always asking her “please!” as if you are a puppet and she is holding the strings. Begging her to stay longer, or pleading with her to like you after she shows disinterest. Begging only makes you look pathetic and spineless, and it gives her the power to say NO. It does make her feel more powerful and validated, but honestly, do you really want her to step all over your dignity? Then don’t beg. It’s NOT charming or “chivalrous” by any means, and you will LOSE respect.

4. Always asking her if she’s okay, or if she’s having a good time. This is a BIG mistake guys make, even guys who think they know the “game”! Believe me, if she’s having fun you’ll notice it in her face and her voice. Nice guys often don’t trust women and sometimes assume that women are inexplicable and even intentionally deceptive. While this may be true of some women, no women will EVER hide her true emotions in front of a guy she’s comfortable with. Asking her makes her LESS comfortable.

5. Always making her decide what to do (“what do you want to do now?”). 90% of the time, she won’t have an answer because women want guys to take the lead, not the other way around. If you sound like you have no clue what to do, you have already lost her. She doesn’t WANT to do anything with a guy who has no idea what to do!

6. Always apologizing for everything you do. Rule of thumb – if you wouldn’t expect a girl to apologize to you for touching you on the arm, don’t apologize to her either! She isn’t Bloody Mary – you don’t have to supplicate or beg for fear of getting your head chopped off! Being submissive and sorry only sends one signal to this soft, delicate creature – you only want her for her *****.

7. Being afraid to share your opinions. This behavior immediately makes you look insecure and you will become a target for her disdain. Most girls will never openly say it, but a guy that’s afraid of his own opinions actually disapproves of HIMSELF on some subconscious level. That’s the behavior of a low-value chump who has no self-respect.

8. Gushing with excessive, NEEDY emotions (i.e. “You are so beautiful, I’m already in love with you!”). This demonstrates low value because you appear to have no standards or patience. If you are meeting a girl for the first time, you will look like the most desperate guy on earth doing this. Even telling a girl you like her will often KILL attraction. I don’t care how many times your mom said it’s the “polite” way to treat girls, it is WRONG! A woman wants things to “just happen”, and the emotional burden of your pounding heart depending on her for instant happiness will just scare the crap out of her!

9. Trying to impress her with your knowledge, money, car, or any other LOGICAL excuses (bragging). This makes you look boring and lacking in substance. It is overcompensation. Once again, many guys have been misled by their parents. You do NOT want to “impress” girls – you want to get them curious about you. Furthermore, women are not attracted by logic. They are attracted by emotion and personality. The more you try to justify why she “should” be attracted to you, the less attraction she will feel. Any sort of rules, logic, and justification of them only will turn girls off!

10. Always trying to become a part of her life (following her, calling her every hour, sending her cards or flowers, asking too eagerly about her friends). This behavior, if it is allowed to continue, can become downright creepy. It communicates that you have no life, and that you are desperate not only for the girl, but also for getting to know ANYONE at all! Why are you so eager to meet her friends so fast anyway?

These mistakes are all hurting millions of men, and the crazy part is that they can EASILY be avoided once you know what they are and why they are HUGE turn-offs to women. And indeed, make no mistake about it – they definitely ARE. So if you are currently doing any of these “nice-guy” things, don’t feel insulted – just STOP DOING THEM, and your rejection rate will be cut in half. Only half of seduction relies on knowing the right techniques and internalizing the beliefs and attitudes behind them. The other half simply consists of not screwing it up!

Now I’m sure we’ve all heard the conventional wisdom on women and “dating” from friends, parents, John Gray, Oprah, Dr. Phil, Hollywood movies, the media, etc. You know… all the “accepted” pop-culture advice that tells you to buy women flowers and ask them to plan the date, impress her with your money, car, house, etc. and not make any moves, not talk about your opinions for fear of “offending” her, be super-“respectful” like a nervous schoolboy who has never touched a girl before… basically, advice telling to make ALL of the above mistakes! And I’m sure ALL of those people had their reasons for giving you that advice, but… I’ve got some bad news for those folks: this is the same wussy puritanical feminist advice that existed in the 1960s, and even THEN, it didn’t attract women.

The “conventional wisdom” is WRONG!

Girls are NOT attracted to guys that buy gifts, talk about their car or house, apologize for touching a girl, or give her the power to plan the evening. In fact, women are continually REPULSED by all of these behaviors. The biggest reason nice guys fail with women is that women simply do not trust nice guys. Nice guys look FAKE, because they are. What with all their showing gifts on a woman, all their begging and submitting and complimenting, they communicate EXTREME desperation and neediness – yet in spite of how badly they desire the girl, they are afraid to make a move, which communicates fear and lack of confidence. So from both ends, they come across as LOSERS. Think about it. Would you act all desperate like that around your friends? Why would a guy act like that, unless he is trying to get something from the girl? Either he must be trying to sell her something (and failing), or he is desperate for sex/marriage/a relationship, or any combination of the three. She is always thinking “WHAT does he WANT from me?” And that is NOT the state of mind you want her to be in, if your goal is to actually get laid.

There are only THREE things that nice-guy behavior will tell girls about you, and NONE of them are good:

1. You are desperate and needy
2. You have no confidence or direction in life
3. You are NOT a prize to be won over, thus you have NO sexual value to her

Does this sound like she’s impressed? Obviously something is VERY wrong with the way most guys go about attracting women. They actually SCARE women away! Being a “nice guy” doesn’t show women that you “care” about them. It actually creeps them out!

When I first figured this out, it was as eye-opening as seeing my reflection in the condensed droplets of water glistening like diamonds on the perfectly polished, shimmering surfaces of solid gold faucets in a gold-plated shower fit for a King! It was truly astounding. This was the answer to YEARS of asking why women were creeped out by all the conventional “approaches” that guys use. Being “nice” in chick-speak actually means “trying too hard”. And it took a girl telling me this to finally make me understand. Nice guys try to hide the fact that they want to sleep with a girl – yet by their submissive actions they make if OBVIOUS that they want something from her. They are “trying too hard” to get SEX, and the girl sees through it INSTANTLY. Women WILL have sex with you, but NOT if you come across as wanting it more badly than they do. If you’re a real Prize to be won, you need to act like sex is NO BIG DEAL! That’s right, I am NOT making this up. A real MAN is not needy. A real seducer is not desperate for sex, because he believes that he, not the girl, is the Prize. After all, if you are truly a Prize, like Casanova, then you can get sex whenever you want and that it’s not even necessary to have it anytime soon. You are not needy. There is no scarcity of women in your life. And you feel no fear in communicating with women. THAT is the attitude which makes you a Prize, regardless of whether you are already getting lots of sex or not. You must internalize this attitude first to truly have strong game.

Thumbs up! I read every line and like all that I read.

This sums up a lot of what the DJ bible is trying to say. Good job.

great read! I agree with everything.

This has got to be one of the best posts ever written! Nice work!

I would say all that what sums up a nice guy is a fake passive aggresive wuss....

I learned a ton from this thread. Hopefully, this advice works for me.

very good post. I read similar topic by an author Dr. Robert Glover on "No More Mr Nice Guy".

STOLEN FROM A BOOK OR PROGRAM U ILLEGALLY DOWNLOADED NO DOUBT.....

Do u have any original thoughts or just cut n pastes.

common sense yes, practicle in reality............well jury still out on that one.

the best advice is one where it stems from REAL LIVE examples from get this,,,,,,,,,YOUR OWN LIFE!!!!!!

A womans definition of NICE diffes from a man.


N.I.C.E.

Never
Interesting
Coward
Emotional

Pretty good but ...

I actually liked your post a lot and sadly found myself in a lot of the 10 worst mistakes.

But one point of criticism or rather well dunno what to call it i would give you. I find the thesis about scarcity to be quite logical but not because of the way you go back in time as i believe at least the caveman thing a little far fetched.

I believe that the scarcity thought from the middle ages as you call it is a logical progresssion from emancipation. Seeing, admitting the women to have more rights just like they deserve, present the woman in a new position to express their needs suppressed by generation of totalitarian men. I mean its the picture portrayed in tv shows like sex and the city. While their relevance might be up to discussion these pictures influence our youth. Meaning the girl asks for more rights and deeds to win her love and the guy obeys in his pro feminist education. This leaves the "well raised" kid alias nice guy in the position to cherish the girl beyond the limit he actually should.

Would like to hear some thoughts about this, otherwise really great post.

Hah I can't believe somebody though I stole this. Though I guess I should take it as a compliment, that my material was confused for some guru's.

Everything I posted here is MY material, MY personal thoughts on seduction and the pitfalls of nice-guy-ism.

I plan to write a book on seduction myself in a few years, and these are just the beginning thoughts, not some sort of finished product. But when I wrote this article, I let my anger and fury at the past failures flow into it, and I used it myself whenever I needed to remind myself that I had committed a nice-guy sin.

Fact is, you can use a guru's product (and I've read tons of them) but I've found it's MUCH easier to become a good DJ if you write things out in your own words and thoughts.

And here's a note to Celeris: the cave man principle is actually QUITE relevant.

Imagine you're in a big party, lots of hot girls. If you got the cojones to do it, you mack them all and probably get a few numbers.

Now imagine your friend drags you to a party where all the girls are just ho-hum in terms of looks, or even UGLY! Well, you can't leave because your friend drove you there and he wants to STAY.

So you just begin eyeing the LEAST UGLY girl in the whole scene, and even though she's really dull/boring, you try to chat her up. Because you want to at least get SOMETHING out of the situation, you get desperate for even the girls that you wouldn't pay attention to in the first party with all the hot babes.

You UNCONSCIOUSLY get "desperate" because there is a SCARCITY of hot women, so you fall into that "take what I can get" mentality of SCARCITY.


Now RETURN to the REAL WORLD for a second. Every time you feel like you are at the second party (the BORING UGLY one) it's like you have two options - stay wherever you are (whether it's a cafe, a mall, a club, or what have you) and try to get somewhere with the ugly hags - OR, change venues and go sarging somewhere else!

Your level of "cave man scarcity desperation" (i.e. the FEAR that wherever you go, THIS is your best and ONLY chance of scoring) is what determines whether you go or stay. Your FEAR is like that annoying "friend" who's keeping you are the party full of ugly girls. But in the back of your mind you KNOW there's better venues you can go to for picking up girls.

The question is, do you have standards, are you willing to leave your comfort zone and take a chance that you might find a hottie in the next location or you might NOT? Or are you paralyzed with fear of SCARCITY and confined to that once spot with the ugly hags for the whole night?

Its a subconscious instinct in most men, resulting from the whole momma's boy feminist culture we've been spoonfed since infancy - we are desperate for whatever we can get, because we are taught to FEAR scarcity (i.e. not earning mom's favors) and mistakenly apply that fear to all women in not so much a sexual as an emotionally attached sense. Ironically, this actually makes scarcity WORSE than it really is. It's an irrational fear that we all have to get rid of at some point - you have to rewrite your default master program - your "sexual autopilot" so to speak. The question is, are you going to get rid of that fear, or just live in denial?

See if you live with an ABUNDANCE mindset, it's only a matter of time before you find the hot girls, as long as you know where to look. Then you have to work on mastering your game and ACTING like they're all your girls, like all that abundance is already yours and not giving any one woman too much power. Even the best DJs and PUAs get approach anxiety, social nervousness, etc. every now and then - but at least we can eliminate the biggest and STUPIDEST kind of anxiety and nice-guy-ism, which is the Cave-man SCARCITY MENTALITY. Kill it as SOON as HUMANLY possible!

I think the scarcity mentality is the pressure from society that men need to have a hot girl...so when a man finally meets a hot girl he needs to get wit her asap.... simple as that

amazing post!!!!!

I agree completely with ice casanova

but i also think manh things the first guy said are not always real

you cannot go trough life talkin about sex to any girl you like, or at least to be honest even if you do, you cannot try to think all days in sex because of course youre not superman

Yes theres lot of girls who just want sex out there, and if you act like a nice guy you will be rejected instantly

And theres a lot of girls too who want a real boyfriend and yes you have to act like a men but not as a pornstar
thats my toughts