SoSuave.com

Alpha Male Attraction Secrets

Video - 7 Simple Scientific Tricks to Have Any Woman You Want

How to Be the Bad Boy Women Love


Go Back   Don Juan Discussion Forum > Don Juan Discussion
Register FAQ Members List Calendar Mark Forums Read

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 11-06-2008, 12:47 PM   #1
rex
Don Juan
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6
rex is on a distinguished road
Q: How to secure a date if she tells you she's busy?

Hey guys,

Here's the scenario: Met a girl at a bar, hit it off well, then gave her a call 4 days later and asked her if she'd be free to grab drinks.

Me: "I'd like to invite you out for happy hour. I'm busy this week but how bout later next week?"

Her: *pause* "Umm, not quite sure. I'm going to be busy with midterms and papers."

Me: "Since your schedule sounds so heavy, how bout I give you a call at the end of the week and see where you're at then."

Her: "Okay."

Me: "Sounds good, talk to you later."

==End Convo==

So, the questions I have are:

1) Any ideas on what to say to secure a date on the follow up, assuming she's busy again (or says she is) due to exams weeks?

2) Next time a girl throws the "I am busy with so and so" and doesn't suggest a counteroffer/alternative date, what would be some good responses to increase your chances of scoring the date on that first call?

3) If for any reason you can't/don't score a date on the first call after being thrown the "busy" message, what would be some good responses to keep control of power without seeming desperate yet increase your chances of landing a date?
(eg telling her I'd call her back at the end of the week like I had done?, go out on a limb and suggest some days to meet up/fish for days shes not busy?, just tell her "maybe next time", and follow up with calls/texts inviting her out whenever I'm in the area/free/meeting up with friends and just seein if she'd be interested in tagging along)

Suggestions welcome!

Thx!
Rex
rex is offline   Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
Old 11-06-2008, 01:31 PM   #2
Igetit!
Master Don Juan
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: The United State of Texas
Posts: 2,095
Igetit! has a brilliant futureIgetit! has a brilliant futureIgetit! has a brilliant futureIgetit! has a brilliant futureIgetit! has a brilliant futureIgetit! has a brilliant futureIgetit! has a brilliant futureIgetit! has a brilliant futureIgetit! has a brilliant futureIgetit! has a brilliant futureIgetit! has a brilliant future
If you get a girl's number,then two days later you call her and she says she's busy,then you wait and call her 2 or 3 days after that,then she says she's busy again,and this happens like 3 or 4 times in a row,clearly it means she's not interested. Either that,or her interest is so low that she's not willing to put the time in to see you.

What I'd do is when you call her the first time after getting her number,Make sure you take charge of the conversation. For one,don't call her,say "hi",ask what she's doing,then say,"Hey,you wanna go out sometime?". That's boring and lame.

Women are emotional. So what I'd do is stir up her emotions before asking her out. Say something like this: "Man,you'll never in a million years guess what happened to me today". This will stir in curiousity and intrigue in her. Then go on to tell her something exciting. And make sure that when you say all this to her,you sound upbeat and energetic,not like you just woke up. Then when you do ask her out,I'd say something like,"Hey,what to you have planned forthe weekend?" If she says nothing,then asks "Why?",you say,"I'm not telling you,you just be ready on Saturday at (whatever time).

I believe that she'll be more motivated to say yes to a date if you throw in excitement and make her curious than just having a plain,ordinary, "hey,what are you up to?" type of conversation,then asking her out.
Igetit! is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-06-2008, 02:20 PM   #3
rex
Don Juan
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6
rex is on a distinguished road
Quote:
Originally Posted by Igetit!
If you get a girl's number,then two days later you call her and she says she's busy,then you wait and call her 2 or 3 days after that,then she says she's busy again,and this happens like 3 or 4 times in a row,clearly it means she's not interested. Either that,or her interest is so low that she's not willing to put the time in to see you.

What I'd do is when you call her the first time after getting her number,Make sure you take charge of the conversation. For one,don't call her,say "hi",ask what she's doing,then say,"Hey,you wanna go out sometime?". That's boring and lame.

Women are emotional. So what I'd do is stir up her emotions before asking her out. Say something like this: "Man,you'll never in a million years guess what happened to me today". This will stir in curiousity and intrigue in her. Then go on to tell her something exciting. And make sure that when you say all this to her,you sound upbeat and energetic,not like you just woke up. Then when you do ask her out,I'd say something like,"Hey,what to you have planned forthe weekend?" If she says nothing,then asks "Why?",you say,"I'm not telling you,you just be ready on Saturday at (whatever time).

I believe that she'll be more motivated to say yes to a date if you throw in excitement and make her curious than just having a plain,ordinary, "hey,what are you up to?" type of conversation,then asking her out.

Thx for the response,

Funny thing is I omitted the part where I threw in the "I saw something that reminded me of you!"

Still got shot down with the "busy" response after going in with a bang and proposing the "wanna grab drinks" line.

I do like your idea of just asking her what she's up to (whether it be on the weekend or a weekday). Meaning, turn it into a conversation to find out when she's busy before asking, rather than going in with an agenda just to shoot her the question.

Buuut, another question about doing this.

Take your suggestion: what if you ask her your question, "Hey,what do you have planned for the weekend?", and instead of her saying "nothing", she says she's made plans. I don't suppose you'd continue to ask her what she's doing every day of the week.

Any good ideas on how to respond to that?
rex is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-06-2008, 02:26 PM   #4
Pimp-sicle
Master Don Juan
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Pimpsylvania
Age: 34
Posts: 2,450
Pimp-sicle has a reputation beyond reputePimp-sicle has a reputation beyond reputePimp-sicle has a reputation beyond reputePimp-sicle has a reputation beyond reputePimp-sicle has a reputation beyond reputePimp-sicle has a reputation beyond reputePimp-sicle has a reputation beyond reputePimp-sicle has a reputation beyond reputePimp-sicle has a reputation beyond reputePimp-sicle has a reputation beyond reputePimp-sicle has a reputation beyond repute
First off all her interest doesn't sound like its that high, most likely since she met you at a bar and I'm assuming there was some drinking going on.

Next you should never call a girl without having specific plans in mind. Also your already chasing her, never good. Once she pulled the busy card you should have teased her about her school work and left it at "I'll talk to you later," that way she wouldn't know if or when you would call again. You have to learn to be a mystery, if this girl had any interest and she wasn't expecting your call next week I guarantee you should would be excited to hear from you.

But by telling her you'll call her next week, she's already prepared to give you another excuse, or better yet not answer or call you back.

Call her next week and have SPECIFIC plans in mind, X bar @9pm Thursday etc. If she doesn't counter offer or pulls the busy bs, get rid of her.




PIMP
__________________
-Men dislike women who don't understand them, and women dislike men
who do.

-The difference between rape and seduction is salesmanship.
Pimp-sicle is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-06-2008, 02:32 PM   #5
StGeo
Don Juan
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 25
StGeo is on a distinguished road
I don't really have any expertise but I'm also interested in this subject because there's this really hot HB9 in a language course I go to and she gave me her number (maybe somewhat unwillingly). Since then I've called her 3 times (once a week or so) and every time she has an excuse. it did sound sincere but since she seems to be avoiding when we meet at the course, I should probably just next her, she's obviously not interested. She's still eye candy for those boring German classes, though

Anyway, I still want to her what people have to say.
StGeo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-06-2008, 02:37 PM   #6
Igetit!
Master Don Juan
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: The United State of Texas
Posts: 2,095
Igetit! has a brilliant futureIgetit! has a brilliant futureIgetit! has a brilliant futureIgetit! has a brilliant futureIgetit! has a brilliant futureIgetit! has a brilliant futureIgetit! has a brilliant futureIgetit! has a brilliant futureIgetit! has a brilliant futureIgetit! has a brilliant futureIgetit! has a brilliant future
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pimp-sicle
First off all her interest doesn't sound like its that high, most likely since she met you at a bar and I'm assuming there was some drinking going on.

Next you should never call a girl without having specific plans in mind. Also your already chasing her, never good. Once she pulled the busy card you should have teased her about her school work and left it at "I'll talk to you later," that way she wouldn't know if or when you would call again. You have to learn to be a mystery, if this girl had any interest and she wasn't expecting your call next week I guarantee you should would be excited to hear from you.

But by telling her you'll call her next week, she's already prepared to give you another excuse, or better yet not answer or call you back.

Call her next week and have SPECIFIC plans in mind, X bar @9pm Thursday etc. If she doesn't counter offer or pulls the busy bs, get rid of her.




PIMP

What Pimp-sicle said.
Igetit! is offline   Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
Old 11-06-2008, 02:43 PM   #7
f283000
Master Don Juan
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Age: 33
Posts: 2,106
f283000 has much to be proud off283000 has much to be proud off283000 has much to be proud off283000 has much to be proud off283000 has much to be proud off283000 has much to be proud off283000 has much to be proud off283000 has much to be proud off283000 has much to be proud off283000 has much to be proud of
Quote:
Originally Posted by Igetit!
If you get a girl's number,then two days later you call her and she says she's busy,then you wait and call her 2 or 3 days after that,then she says she's busy again,and this happens like 3 or 4 times in a row,clearly it means she's not interested. Either that,or her interest is so low that she's not willing to put the time in to see you.
WRONG!!!!!

if a girl says she is busy the first time you ask her out OK! she might be telling the truth and everyone deserves a second chance. If she does it to you a second time, NEXT! NEXT!

sorry bro but if a girl is hot for you she will put off plans and go out the first time you ask her or if she has serious reasons to deny you the first time she won't deny you a second time. That is how women work bro, im sorry but it is time for you to show some manliness and dignity and move on.

The 2 strike rules will save your dignity because frankly that is how women work and it will ensure that you only use your time on girls that you have a chance with and are interested in you as a man. If a woman is interested in you as a man she won't deny you twice in a row for a date.
f283000 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-06-2008, 03:17 PM   #8
rex
Don Juan
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6
rex is on a distinguished road
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pimp-sicle
First off all her interest doesn't sound like its that high, most likely since she met you at a bar and I'm assuming there was some drinking going on.

Next you should never call a girl without having specific plans in mind. Also your already chasing her, never good. Once she pulled the busy card you should have teased her about her school work and left it at "I'll talk to you later," that way she wouldn't know if or when you would call again. You have to learn to be a mystery, if this girl had any interest and she wasn't expecting your call next week I guarantee you should would be excited to hear from you.

But by telling her you'll call her next week, she's already prepared to give you another excuse, or better yet not answer or call you back.

Call her next week and have SPECIFIC plans in mind, X bar @9pm Thursday etc. If she doesn't counter offer or pulls the busy bs, get rid of her.




PIMP

Love the advice, especially about just teasing about her "busy schedule" then just leaving it at "talk to you later" to keep her wondering.

However, again I'd like to retort a few things. If you always call just to invite her out with specific plans and leave her with a "talk to you later" if she says shes busy, you still position yourself so that you will be the one calling her. Your continued calls no matter how dispersed apart will still be just a one way street until you spark interest...in person!

Now, for many of you DJs, you would say move on cause she's not interested. But there are underlying circumstances that do not make this black and white...in reality there is not a yes and a no. All I'm saying, is that I believe you can tip the acquaintance ladder to the friend ladder or more than a friend ladder. She showed initial interest at the bar, so that means some chemistry exists and thats a start. The problem I see is that you need to secure the first date to further the interest level so the girl actually does fall for you. So if a girl can't seem to make time for you in her schedule across the phone, that really shouldn't keep us clever guys from figuring out how to dodge the busyness and land that date. Cause landing the date is the key.

So without giving up since you actually want to put effort into this one and you know the girl may not be interested across the phone but she WILL have interest in person, how do you land that date? And again you could continue to ask her out and she could continue to give you the busy and you will seem desperate. So the next question I have is this:

What do you think is the best way to go about getting her to consider an outing with you without being overbearing, knowing its only a one way street in the beginning? Perhaps call her from time to time just to invite her out when you're in the area? Or maybe trying to start a back and forth dialog with her through text, email, aim, or phone? This is an open ended question with suggestions on clever ideas of executing these tactics welcome!
rex is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-06-2008, 03:36 PM   #9
Igetit!
Master Don Juan
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: The United State of Texas
Posts: 2,095
Igetit! has a brilliant futureIgetit! has a brilliant futureIgetit! has a brilliant futureIgetit! has a brilliant futureIgetit! has a brilliant futureIgetit! has a brilliant futureIgetit! has a brilliant futureIgetit! has a brilliant futureIgetit! has a brilliant futureIgetit! has a brilliant futureIgetit! has a brilliant future
Quote:
Originally Posted by f283000
WRONG!!!!!

if a girl says she is busy the first time you ask her out OK! she might be telling the truth and everyone deserves a second chance. If she does it to you a second time, NEXT! NEXT!

sorry bro but if a girl is hot for you she will put off plans and go out the first time you ask her or if she has serious reasons to deny you the first time she won't deny you a second time. That is how women work bro, im sorry but it is time for you to show some manliness and dignity and move on.

The 2 strike rules will save your dignity because frankly that is how women work and it will ensure that you only use your time on girls that you have a chance with and are interested in you as a man. If a woman is interested in you as a man she won't deny you twice in a row for a date.

Obviously,this guy didn't read my reply correctly.
Igetit! is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-06-2008, 03:52 PM   #10
Miguel
Don Juan
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Around Toronto, On. Canada.
Age: 26
Posts: 147
Miguel is on a distinguished road
Hey, just some pratical advice. Good theory guys btw, but I got another call...

Prevention of a stituation is WAY better then recovery. Why not just make sure that the girl never has an oppertunity to say no to a specific date to begin with... Why not stack the cards in you're favor.

When I ask a girl out, I always make sure to say something like:

Me: hey, lets hang out, I'm busy tommorrow, but how does monday or friday work?

Her: I'm busy monday.

Me: okay, friday then, I'll swing over at 7ish and go to this club that people have been telling me about.

You see, I A) assumed the sale. B) ASKED TWO DAYS so she has less way to say no to begin with.
__________________
Me: Enjoy everything.

Friend: Even the failures?

Me: Especially the failures.
Miguel is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-06-2008, 04:25 PM   #11
rex
Don Juan
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6
rex is on a distinguished road
Quote:
Originally Posted by Igetit!
Obviously,this guy didn't read my reply correctly.

posted that before i read ur reply hahah.
rex is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-06-2008, 04:27 PM   #12
rex
Don Juan
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6
rex is on a distinguished road
Quote:
Originally Posted by Miguel
Hey, just some pratical advice. Good theory guys btw, but I got another call...

Prevention of a stituation is WAY better then recovery. Why not just make sure that the girl never has an oppertunity to say no to a specific date to begin with... Why not stack the cards in you're favor.

When I ask a girl out, I always make sure to say something like:

Me: hey, lets hang out, I'm busy tommorrow, but how does monday or friday work?

Her: I'm busy monday.

Me: okay, friday then, I'll swing over at 7ish and go to this club that people have been telling me about.

You see, I A) assumed the sale. B) ASKED TWO DAYS so she has less way to say no to begin with.

thought of it, buut, "less way" of gettin out of the situation still doesn't mean "no way" of getting out. of course she could always say shes busy on both days you mention =P. sux for us huh...
rex is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-06-2008, 05:36 PM   #13
Pimp-sicle
Master Don Juan
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Pimpsylvania
Age: 34
Posts: 2,450
Pimp-sicle has a reputation beyond reputePimp-sicle has a reputation beyond reputePimp-sicle has a reputation beyond reputePimp-sicle has a reputation beyond reputePimp-sicle has a reputation beyond reputePimp-sicle has a reputation beyond reputePimp-sicle has a reputation beyond reputePimp-sicle has a reputation beyond reputePimp-sicle has a reputation beyond reputePimp-sicle has a reputation beyond reputePimp-sicle has a reputation beyond repute
Quote:
Originally Posted by rex
However, again I'd like to retort a few things. If you always call just to invite her out with specific plans and leave her with a "talk to you later" if she says shes busy, you still position yourself so that you will be the one calling her. Your continued calls no matter how dispersed apart will still be just a one way street until you spark interest...in person!

Were not discussing who should be calling between a girl and a guy. Were talking about creating the magic emotion called attraction which compels a girl to WANT to see you. And if she doesn't know when your going to call and is attracted to you, this will increase her interest in you when she hears from you.

She showed initial interest at the bar, so that means some chemistry exists and thats a start.

Attraction and chemistry are dynamic.....meaning its always changing. Her initial interest in you may have been nothing more than at the bar on that particular night. Or she might have a few more prospects, exbf etc who are ahead of you in her line-up.

On the flip side you could be dealing with a girl who knows the game very well and wants you to work for her time. She wants you to play be her rules on her terms. I still think you have a shot here, but you need to play her game on her, better than her if that's the case. I will say though that if this is the case, these women are never good for anything more than a pump and dump.


The problem I see is that you need to secure the first date to further the interest level so the girl actually does fall for you. So if a girl can't seem to make time for you in her schedule across the phone, that really shouldn't keep us clever guys from figuring out how to dodge the busyness and land that date. Cause landing the date is the key.

Here's where you steering off course. Its not about being clever or sneeky. Its about creating enough attraction in the initial meeting so she wants to see you again. If you get the busy card, no answer etc, you didn't create ENOUGH attraction, although you might have sparked a bit of it.

So without giving up since you actually want to put effort into this one and you know the girl may not be interested across the phone but she WILL have interest in person, how do you land that date? And again you could continue to ask her out and she could continue to give you the busy and you will seem desperate. So the next question I have is this:

If a girl is interested in a guy she won't change her opinion of you over the phone unless you say something stupid or wait too long to call. One tip that may help you for the future is this; base when you call a girl on how well you did in creating that initial attraction. If you really got her eating out of the palm of your hand, wait a little bit longer to call to build up the anticipation. If you didn't too that great of a job, call a bit sooner.

What do you think is the best way to go about getting her to consider an outing with you without being overbearing, knowing its only a one way street in the beginning? Perhaps call her from time to time just to invite her out when you're in the area? Or maybe trying to start a back and forth dialog with her through text, email, aim, or phone? This is an open ended question with suggestions on clever ideas of executing these tactics welcome!

Here's your game plan, wait for at least a week from your initial call before you call her again. Have something set up and have a couple days that you can go out according to YOUR schedule. Also give her at least a couple days notice when you try and set something up. Girls are always planniing their weeks, days in advance. If she gives you the busy card again and does not counter offer, then you need to move on unless you enjoy the torture.




^^^^^^^^



PIMP
__________________
-Men dislike women who don't understand them, and women dislike men
who do.

-The difference between rape and seduction is salesmanship.
Pimp-sicle is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-06-2008, 05:52 PM   #14
Miguel
Don Juan
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Around Toronto, On. Canada.
Age: 26
Posts: 147
Miguel is on a distinguished road
Quote:
Originally Posted by rex
thought of it, buut, "less way" of gettin out of the situation still doesn't mean "no way" of getting out. of course she could always say shes busy on both days you mention =P. sux for us huh...

True, But as a Dj I'm pretty lazy so I want to know my option NOW, if she says no too both days, odds are she's actually not intrested... SO

Next girl, less thought on this one.
__________________
Me: Enjoy everything.

Friend: Even the failures?

Me: Especially the failures.
Miguel is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-06-2008, 07:13 PM   #15
rex
Don Juan
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6
rex is on a distinguished road
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pimp-sicle
^^^^^^^^



PIMP

Interesting feedback. I'm no DJ but I do have a bit of dating experience and I'm quite aware of the game. However, from experience, I know that its possible to create attraction and chemistry from thin air. Yes, there might be competition, and who knows where I am on her list, but its a challenge to displace the #1 guy whose top of her mind. Anyways, thx everyone for making this a hot topic of discussion. Great input!
rex is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-06-2008, 08:25 PM   #16
Mavrick
Master Don Juan
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Age: 40
Posts: 906
Mavrick is just really niceMavrick is just really niceMavrick is just really niceMavrick is just really nice
1) Any ideas on what to say to secure a date on the follow up, assuming she's busy again (or says she is) due to exams weeks?

You should ask only one more time. If she says she's going to busy, move on to the next woman. If you still want her to go out with you, you need to reevaluate your priorities. You most likely have a low self-worth and have not prioritized your dignity appropriately.


2) Next time a girl throws the "I am busy with so and so" and doesn't suggest a counteroffer/alternative date, what would be some good responses to increase your chances of scoring the date on that first call?

If a woman doesn't offer a counter, then you have a low interested woman, and you should no longer be interested.

3) If for any reason you can't/don't score a date on the first call after being thrown the "busy" message, what would be some good responses to keep control of power without seeming desperate yet increase your chances of landing a date?

Tell her "Okay, I understand". No retort or defense is needed. Don't ask maybe later, or I'll call later when you're not busy. Don't do anything. Just let her you understand. Then wait a week or so, and call her and ask one more time. If the second time you get a yes, great! If not, move to an interested woman.
__________________
Me man, you woman. Let's ugga bugga!
Mavrick is offline   Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
Old 11-25-2008, 01:40 AM   #17
suavesuave
Senior Don Juan
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Age: 35
Posts: 272
suavesuave will become famous soon enough
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mavrick
1) Any ideas on what to say to secure a date on the follow up, assuming she's busy again (or says she is) due to exams weeks?

You should ask only one more time. If she says she's going to busy, move on to the next woman. If you still want her to go out with you, you need to reevaluate your priorities. You most likely have a low self-worth and have not prioritized your dignity appropriately.


2) Next time a girl throws the "I am busy with so and so" and doesn't suggest a counteroffer/alternative date, what would be some good responses to increase your chances of scoring the date on that first call?

If a woman doesn't offer a counter, then you have a low interested woman, and you should no longer be interested.

3) If for any reason you can't/don't score a date on the first call after being thrown the "busy" message, what would be some good responses to keep control of power without seeming desperate yet increase your chances of landing a date?

Tell her "Okay, I understand". No retort or defense is needed. Don't ask maybe later, or I'll call later when you're not busy. Don't do anything. Just let her you understand. Then wait a week or so, and call her and ask one more time. If the second time you get a yes, great! If not, move to an interested woman.


Wait for a week? Why not 3 days?
__________________
* If you can't handle the emotions of getting rejected, seduction is not for you.
* Don't be afraid to succeed.
* Hard work and dedication pay off.
* There is not short cut for greatness.
suavesuave is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off

The DJ Bible

What's New

Killer Articles

Quick Tips

Hall of Fame

Romance Tips

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 05:38 AM.


Powered by vBulletin Version 3.5.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.