I messed up. PLEASE HELP!

seabumma · Nov 6, 2008

I tried to keep this short, but I had trouble condensing the details. I really need advice as I am feeling hopeless. I feel like an empty shell of what I used to be. This girl is driving me nuts, and I can't sleep at night thinking about what I did wrong. Here goes:

I met the "perfect" girl a few months ago--shy, quite, not many friends at all, smart, and gorgeous. We hit it off great..online (yes go ahead and laugh..but it was NOT a social networking site at all), but she happened to live 2 states away. We somehow ended up being at the same airport, at the same time, after a month of talking online, and met up. We literally had a 2 minute face to face conversation, before she had to leave the airport with her family. I could tell she was extremely shy. Right after our meeting, she sent me a text apologizing for her "extreme awkwardness", and kept telling me how nice it was to meet me. From that day on, the flirting increased tremendously. She would text me, and call me all the time. A month after this meeting, I flew down to her state to meet up with her--with her agreeing of course. She was ecstatic. We had a great 3 days together, but I held back from telling her how I felt for her, even though I was head over heels for her.

When I returned back home, the flirting continued. This ended up in me making another trip down 3 weeks later. This time I caved in and on the last day of my 4 day trip, I told her how I felt about her after we acknowledged that we probably wouldn't see each other for a while (it's never an issue for me to go down and visit..). I don't know what got into me, but my emotions ran wild and I told her some really idiotic stuff now that I think about it. Things along the lines of "you're beautiful" "You're special to me" "You have a place in my heart". I even asked her if she had feelings for me. God what was I thinking. IDIOT.

Well after returning from this last trip, the flirting on her end has come to a gradual halt. For the past 2 weeks, I have made the stupid mistake of initiating contact FIRST every time, by either text/phone as she hasn't really bothered. She will ALWAYS respond to me, sometimes I will have to leave a voice mail, and she will return my call. She also stopped coming online to chat as much. I found out that she has a profile on myspace..set to private, and I can see that she logs on late at night and early in the mornings (possibly another guy shes talking to?). I also checked her profile on the site where we initially met...and surprisingly..it was deleted.

Yesterday I got fed up from all this ****, that I decided to ignore her for the day. It was the first day in a few months, that neither of us communicated.

Well, today out of her own free will, she finally sent me a text:

"looks like we have a new president! fun stuff. Well hope you have a good Wednesday! Its time for class now"

I replied saying "Yea, and he went to your school. Have a great day [name]. Im playing the stock market again, nervous lol" (i know stupid random reply)

She replied saying "haha, your funny. Too bad he transfered though. But whatever!"

I didn't bother to reply back.

Now its 1 am in the night and I noticed that she just logged onto her myspace....

**** what is wrong with me. How can I fix this situation? Has she lost interest? Should I flat out ignore this girl and wait for her to call me? Should I pick up her calls? Should I not respond to her texts?

I can possibly talk her into meeting up again. Maybe she is doing this because I told her I didn't think we'd meet up for a while. It doesn't take much effort on my part to go down. If this happens, and I do go down, what should I do differently? Also what can I do to get into her head and return the favor (this whole ignoring thing)? I want her to wonder what SHE did wrong. What is the coldest thing you can say to a girl to make her go nuts?

Women are *****es. That is all. Advise me please.

EDIT:
I even told her I'd never make out with another girl until I am married. hahahah what was I thinking.

MetalFortress · Nov 6, 2008

I was gonna say yeah, ignore her and stop worrying yourself so much. WAS.

Until I read that last line.

Dude, it's done, move on. Better to say too little than too much, and you said WAY too much

nicelife · Nov 6, 2008

**** MAN YOUR OBSSESSED

find some girls that actually live near you to keep your mind from wanting to e stalk this chick wtf

The Master Disaster · Nov 6, 2008

OH LORD ALMIGHTY!

If you're tracking log on time on myspace... you're f*cking obsessed bro.

Don't text her, don't look at her profile, don't call her, don't email her.

Just forget her. It's done. You've went from mysterious to obsessive to her, which is a transition you can't recover from.

MOVE ON!

slaog · Nov 6, 2008

seabumma said:
I tried to keep this short, but I had trouble condensing the details. I really need advice as I am feeling hopeless. I feel like an empty shell of what I used to be. This girl is driving me nuts, and I can't sleep at night thinking about what I did wrong. Here goes:

I met the "perfect" girl a few months ago--shy, quite, not many friends at all, smart, and gorgeous. We hit it off great..online (yes go ahead and laugh..but it was NOT a social networking site at all), but she happened to live 2 states away. We somehow ended up being at the same airport, at the same time, after a month of talking online, and met up. We literally had a 2 minute face to face conversation, before she had to leave the airport with her family. I could tell she was extremely shy. Right after our meeting, she sent me a text apologizing for her "extreme awkwardness", and kept telling me how nice it was to meet me. From that day on, the flirting increased tremendously. She would text me, and call me all the time. A month after this meeting, I flew down to her state to meet up with her--with her agreeing of course. She was ecstatic. We had a great 3 days together, but I held back from telling her how I felt for her, even though I was head over heels for her.

When I returned back home, the flirting continued. This ended up in me making another trip down 3 weeks later. This time I caved in and on the last day of my 4 day trip, I told her how I felt about her after we acknowledged that we probably wouldn't see each other for a while (it's never an issue for me to go down and visit..). I don't know what got into me, but my emotions ran wild and I told her some really idiotic stuff now that I think about it. Things along the lines of "you're beautiful" "You're special to me" "You have a place in my heart". I even asked her if she had feelings for me. God what was I thinking. IDIOT.

Well after returning from this last trip, the flirting on her end has come to a gradual halt. For the past 2 weeks, I have made the stupid mistake of initiating contact FIRST every time, by either text/phone as she hasn't really bothered. She will ALWAYS respond to me, sometimes I will have to leave a voice mail, and she will return my call. She also stopped coming online to chat as much. I found out that she has a profile on myspace..set to private, and I can see that she logs on late at night and early in the mornings (possibly another guy shes talking to?). I also checked her profile on the site where we initially met...and surprisingly..it was deleted.

Yesterday I got fed up from all this ****, that I decided to ignore her for the day. It was the first day in a few months, that neither of us communicated.

Well, today out of her own free will, she finally sent me a text:

"looks like we have a new president! fun stuff. Well hope you have a good Wednesday! Its time for class now"

I replied saying "Yea, and he went to your school. Have a great day [name]. Im playing the stock market again, nervous lol" (i know stupid random reply)

She replied saying "haha, your funny. Too bad he transfered though. But whatever!"

I didn't bother to reply back.

Now its 1 am in the night and I noticed that she just logged onto her myspace....

**** what is wrong with me. How can I fix this situation? Has she lost interest? Should I flat out ignore this girl and wait for her to call me? Should I pick up her calls? Should I not respond to her texts?

I can possibly talk her into meeting up again. Maybe she is doing this because I told her I didn't think we'd meet up for a while. It doesn't take much effort on my part to go down. If this happens, and I do go down, what should I do differently? Also what can I do to get into her head and return the favor (this whole ignoring thing)? I want her to wonder what SHE did wrong. What is the coldest thing you can say to a girl to make her go nuts?

Women are *****es. That is all. Advise me please.

EDIT:
I even told her I'd never make out with another girl until I am married. hahahah what was I thinking.

Sounds like you need her to be happy. Always a warning sign to look out for. She picks up on this and backs off. Thats whats happening now. She is loosing attraction for you.

Back off a bit. Give her space and give yourself space to think about your actions and think about something else besides her. You've really put her on a pedestal and that will have to change.

Don't contact her as much but be nice to her still. Show her it's not effecting you. I bet she knows it is effecting you and she sees the weakness there. So you'll have to change that if it isn't already too late.

If she doesn't want to continue seeing you then it's no big deal. There's plenty of others out there.

Warrior74 · Nov 6, 2008

Oneitis bad!

You need to go meet 10 women this week. Give this woman some space and time to miss you. if she doesn't contact you, don't worry about it. You need to fill your life with work, money, women and fun.

You can't go gushing out emotions to women. it turns them off. No matter how you feel keep it to yourself man.

Go read the DJ bible....link at the bottom of the page.

seabumma · Nov 6, 2008

Should I try to talk her into meeting up again?

MisterMcGee · Nov 6, 2008

Be strong by passing her up

Igetit! · Nov 6, 2008

NO!!!!

Haven't you been listening to everyone's responses? Back off,leave this girl alone. You need to get yourself straight first. Yes,if you start ignoring this girl,she'll probably start to miss you and try to contact you. But NOT because she wants to date you,but just because she misses the attention.

This is over with. It's been destroyed beyond repair. By continuing to try to talk to her and contact her,you only waste your time,and cause her discust for you to grow. If you looking for some magic bullet or some phrase or line to win her back,you're not going to find it.

The problem you have that created this situation can't be solved by a few replies to your questions. You need to rearrange your whole perspective on yourself first,then on women. If you don't believe me,then ignore what I said and continue pursung this girl. You're going to wake up one morning to a knock at your door,with a policeman handing you a restraining order from this girl.

seabumma · Nov 6, 2008

IF (keyword IF) we do meet up. What can I do differently? How can I regain her interest in me? Make out with her without telling her my feelings? When she drops me off at the airport, just walk out of her car without giving her a kiss?

Should I leave her wondering?

spider_007 · Nov 6, 2008

ewhhh

http://playersupreme.libsyn.com/index.php?post_category=podcasts

seabumma · Nov 6, 2008

spider_007 said:
ewhhh

http://playersupreme.libsyn.com/index.php?post_category=podcasts

listening.

seabumma · Nov 6, 2008

LOL, that was a good recording. Some clarification:

First off, I am new to this site. I have browsed in the past, but never registered.

Yes, I guess I did put her on a pedestal. Am I regretting it? Yes. If I could re-do this all over again, I'd make her buy me lunch and dinner hah.

I did make out with her, and got to second base. We did not have sex however. I am trying to save it till marriage..laugh if you may. I did ask her how far she has gone, and found out she has only had sex once. This was a few weeks before we began talking online. She mentioned regretting it, and not wanting to do it until she falls in love with the "one". Did I feel bad when she shared this info with me? Yes, I admit, I did.

I guess I will just move on, and I am going to change my ways. Thanks for the recording, I guess I need to clean up my ***** act. If she does contact me, I won't ignore her, but I'll be a different person when/if it happens.

CFERD · Nov 6, 2008

Women can smell desperation a mile away. You will not be able to increase her attraction after getting so emotional with her. I agree with the others, it's done. What you should listen to the most is your gut instinct, it's usually right. Sounds like you know exactly how you screwed up. Telling a girl the things you told this one are absolutely the worst things you could possibly say. You'd have been better of telling her she looks like she has gained weight. The reason everyone is telling you to move on is because getting over her will be MUCH easier and happen MUCH faster if you make the choice to do so. Or you can continue to be obsessed, cling to hope, and hand her the rest of your dignity. Sucks that we often learning the hard way.

TheRealSupreme · Nov 6, 2008

seabumma said:
LOL, that was a good recording. Some clarification:

First off, I am new to this site. I have browsed in the past, but never registered.

Yes, I guess I did put her on a pedestal. Am I regretting it? Yes. If I could re-do this all over again, I'd make her buy me lunch and dinner hah.

I did make out with her, and got to second base. We did not have sex however. I am trying to save it till marriage..laugh if you may. I did ask her how far she has gone, and found out she has only had sex once. This was a few weeks before we began talking online. She mentioned regretting it, and not wanting to do it until she falls in love with the "one". Did I feel bad when she shared this info with me? Yes, I admit, I did.

I guess I will just move on, and I am going to change my ways. Thanks for the recording, I guess I need to clean up my ***** act. If she does contact me, I won't ignore her, but I'll be a different person when/if it happens.

Well then I do apologize for saying your a old member. The guys on this site do this all the time when they are too embarrassed to show the reality of their miserable lives. It is as if this screen name is all they live for.

Also I know women. If they say they had sex 3 times then it's usually double. If they say 4 times then you can figure around 8 or so.

Some women even will say once but they don't count the blow jobs and all that other stuff.

I would let her contact you in the future if she is truly interested then she will make the effort to decide if she likes you or one of the other guys she is tooling.

seabumma · Nov 7, 2008

Today I went without contacting her again either by text/phone. She did not bother as well. Maybe she expected me to be the one to initialize contact first today, as she was the one who did yesterday with her text about the new president.

Later on today (11:30ish pm) I noticed she came online to chat (I was appearing offline heh), but I did not bother logging on. She stayed on for 20 minutes, waiting for me to log on I am guessing, but I resisted the urge to do so.

I have a feeling she will text me tomorrow. I am just pretending like I don't care. Let her have a taste of her own medicine. She may have been stressing over her mid-terms or something. I'll just wait to see what happens.

Walking Anomaly · Nov 7, 2008

Jus dont sit around and think about her too much. Spendin time thinkin about what she is doin, or saying to herself, or whether she's thinkin about you is counter-productive... Ive done it in the past when i was AFC. Its not worth it. Why focus on this one girl you MIGHT still have, when you can be livin amd meetin other girls who live close and are more practice for your game.

Jus dont do it cuz you're gonna wonder when shes gonna talk to you, and if she does youre gonna want to think of the perfect sh*t to say so you dont mess up again and then mess it up anyway because wat you think might be perfect to say just isnt. Plus to me ur startin to sound creepy.

Just let it go, dont watch for when she's online or anythin like that, thats stalker status. Live your life (aayyyyy, ayyyyyy, aayyyyy) Sry couldnt help of thinkin of T.I's song when i said that lol

seabumma · Nov 7, 2008

well just like I predicted, she sent me a text a minute ago. Here is what she said:

"I figured it out. I'm going to be a science major with a biology emphasis. It will work out well with the classes i've taken. Yay for my revelation haha"

Ok, now why would a girl text this to me? What should I reply back? I am not sure if I should flirt, or just send her a bland response.

shaunuk · Nov 8, 2008

I don't know man, the whole dynamic you have with her is mostly wrong. Have you made out with her yet?

You're bothered if one day goes by where she doesn't txt you. Basically you've got massive oneitis, you need to get your head back on track in general. Lose all this "no <sexual_act> before marriage" crap and DEFINITELY don't tell her shyt like that..

seabumma · Nov 8, 2008

shaunuk said:
I don't know man, the whole dynamic you have with her is mostly wrong. Have you made out with her yet?

You're bothered if one day goes by where she doesn't txt you. Basically you've got massive oneitis, you need to get your head back on track in general. Lose all this "no <sexual_act> before marriage" crap and DEFINITELY don't tell her shyt like that..

We made out. A lot. I took it to second base. No sex though.

I messed up. PLEASE HELP!

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