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tell my gf I'm depressed?

brewbaron

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The last few days I've been feeling down on myself because of some things that happened. My gf is away on a business trip and I haven't told her how I feel because I don't want to burden her with it. Not to mention I have this nagging feeling that if I spill my guts to her it will put her in a position of power and she will think less of me.

Is this irrational?

A buddy of mine who is admittedly a bit afc told me if she doesn't accept me for all that I am, even for the times when I am down, she is not worth my time. Also, we've been together a year and she is a great girl. She gets me in ways I never thought a woman could. Are my trust issues getting in the way or is this a legitimate concern?
 

Daniel1982

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I wouldn't let her know exactly that i'm depressed. If she asks me what's going on, I would just tell her that things at work have been a little tough, but nothing to worry about, don't say anything else (that will keep her interest level, and she'll maybe try to comfort you). Just don't tell her that you are depressed, that's what family and close friends are for.
 

Warrior74

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Read this thread all the way through.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=152578

Women LOATHE weakness in men. Women will kick you HARDEST when you are down. That's why your interactions with women need to be limited to the fantasy realm, not reality.

I can testify from personal experience this is true. They can't comfort you and respect you at the same time. You become a child in their eyes not a man. Especially if she has any *****iness or AW tendencies.

Deal with your problem personally, get some therapy if you need it. Do some exercise, it helps with mild depression. Talk to your parents or siblings or homies. But do go unburdening yourself to her.
 

brewbaron

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thanks for that guys. I had a moment of weakness.

I am an affectionate guy and I care deeply for this girl, but revealing that something is getting me down to the point of depression could only be interpreted as weakness.
 

trd323

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Warrior74 said:
Read this thread all the way through.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=152578




I can testify from personal experience this is true. They can't comfort you and respect you at the same time. You become a child in their eyes not a man. Especially if she has any *****iness or AW tendencies.

Deal with your problem personally, get some therapy if you need it. Do some exercise, it helps with mild depression. Talk to your parents or siblings or homies. But do go unburdening yourself to her.
if you are with a girl that is an AW, then you are with the wrong girl. And your "AFC" friend is right. DO NOT hide who you are to anybody. Everyone goes through "depressed" states. I mean we are in a n economy that people who use to make millions are now working 30-40K jobs. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. If she really cared about you then she will try to make you happy. Good Luck

Write down the qualities you want in a girl.
Mine:
1) understands me for ME. Through my faults
2) kind and has a good family values
3) Seet and romantic
3) has aspirations and goals
4) loves and open sexually
5) Honest/trustworthy
 

DonGorgon

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The only woman you should ever show weak emotions to is your mom...

Women who did not give birth to you cannot process empathy or sympathy toward you and still maintain respect and attraction to you and for you as a strong man... They will never admit this to you and may even try to emulate sympathy but soon you will see a change in her attitude and respect level...

Dont spill you guts just be vague and let her know that she can help an by functional in making you feel better but never admit deefeet .. always make her feel that she can help...
 
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Groovy

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What is "some thing happened"

Lots of good replies here. I don't think none is "right on sopt" tho, but cool posts!

I think that first, if you have a really "my god I feel sorry for you" pain in the ass depression, it's got to be your fault, so it's a weekness. (These words can't usually be in your dictionary!) Crying to your girlfriend "**** my life really sucks" sort of stuff, will make her attraction drop, no doubt! (Logiclly thinking, dunno for personal experience tho. But AFC's and women and attraction... Hmmm not happening).

If this is a really bad mood swing, caused by everyone hating you, either bring yourself up MAN... DJ's and WINNERS have to be better than that. :D

Only thing if it's acceptable if your momma died or something SERIOUS.

But what, 3 days being depressed beause of people? If that's so PLEASE fix that!
 

tsmith2334

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Unfortunately, I wouldn't tell her. You might want to imply it, or hint at it, but telling her outright is a bad idea.

I've done it in the past and most women don't respond to it very well. It's basically just turns into a vicious cycle. She sees weakness, cares less and you get more depressed.

Sad but true.
 

SharinganUser

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Dumping your problems on other people is an opiate and doesn't really solve anything.

Your AFC friend is right that she should accept you for who you are, BUT that doesn't mean you should be reckless and inconsiderate with your emotions. She is coming home from a stressful business trip, and the last thing she needs is to be dumped on with your problems. When she gets back, make her diner, give her a massage and bang the crap out of her. You'll both feel better.

Why do you want to tell her anyway? What can she do to really help you?

They're you problems, and it's you that has to face them.
 

slaog

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SharinganUser said:
Dumping your problems on other people is an opiate and doesn't really solve anything.
Thats basically it. :up:


If you are depressed and want to tell your GF then basically you want to tell her because you're looking for her to make things better. Men are supposed to be the rock in the relationship so naturally it's a turn off for women. Don't blame the women... they are only attracted to masculine men.


I don't think you should hide it from her but just not look to her to make things better. Show her that you are in control of things.
 
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