Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Three items to being a man

Al Moh.

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Three items that make a man or rather trigger the transformation into one: The mirror, the sword and the rose.

I’ve been here for quiet a while now and I can see how a leads to b and b leads to c. This really is a chain of actions and reaction, a development very much like self-improvement itself. Yet I believe that self-improvement is not limited to a certain gender but rather something every human being should long for.

It all started out with me being “in love” with this one girl. What a fool he is, the guy who condems the mirror for the wimpish reflection he has to look at. But since this wasn’t the first girl that turned me down but rather the last one in a serie of crash and burns I finally realized that it’s not the mirror’s fault. A mirror does not lie. I was the problem.

Take a good look at yourself! Look deep inside, look for your core, your inner desires, the things you really want to do with your life. Confidence, strength, attitude, it’s all there already. You don’t have to reinvent the wheel, just make it spin.

When you meet a new person you ask questions because you want to know about this person. Do you like soccer? Do you like to go to the cinema? What kind of music do you listen to? Problem is: You can’t ask yourself. You have to go out and TRY those things, otherwise you’ll never know.

The journey to your inner core, the look into the mirror, can be really scary. To see yourself truthfully is a difficult and uncomfortable task, but the rewards are much greater than the pain. Because when you finally reach this hidden dark cave of your inner self, you will find something that is going to change your life. You are going to find the sword.

So now you are going to redirect your energies to the outside. The sword means self-confidence, strengths, boldness, self-respect, determination and a strong will. This is what you need to change your life and alter your own reality. You are going to train your skills, including your awarness.

It’s much like turning into a warrior. Stand your ground. Again, awarness is key as the first step to changing the world is understanding it, taking it in. It’s time to demonstrate your masculine side to the world, it’s time to burn your path through that forest and nature will crown you with leadership.

But now is also the time to see the flipside of the coin. The sword is double edged, as much a danger as it is a blessing. Watch out or you might cut yourself. Taking yourself too seriously, becoming arrogant, thinking you are better than other people, not caring about anyone anymore, throwing ALL morals over board, all of this is very much like the path to hell for you. There always have been good leaders and bad leaders. The bad leaders stand there, swinging their sword over their head, ready to destroy anything or anyone who stands in their way. History knows a lot of these people and Hitler is just one of them.

It has been said: In learning we teach and in teaching we learn. A teacher, much like a leader, has to learn from his students. It’s wisdom you finally begin to posess, wisdom that enables you to attain your final gift: The rose.

The rose is where real love finds it’s way back into your life. It’s love for yourself, it’s love for what you do, it’s love for other people and the world. And yes, it can be love for a woman that you might want to spend the rest of your life with. Now that you know yourself and your true nature, now that you act with strength and fortitude like a real man, now you can truly speak of love and happiness.

Enjoy your journey. It’s true that you never stop learning and improving but it gets easier and more enjoyable over time. Remember, being a Don Juan is like sliding down a hill. It’s easy, it’s fun and it’s worth the sweat and the pain you had in your past. Don’t despair! You are on the road to heaven.
 

Alphamale1821

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Thanks man, this is what i needed to hear. When you know that you stand out it's easy to want to come off as ****y or arrogrant, but in the end you just cut yourself off from everyone. I need to re-evaluate myself for sure. GOLDEN post to the CORE!!!!!!!
 

frenchbeauty

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Al moh your posts keep getting better !
Keep em coming !
 

DJVladdy

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From the former Soviet Union originated a famous saying that is often heard to this day in Russia and maybe some other countries.

About what it means to be a MAN?

Dont Believe, Don't Fear, Don't Beg
 

izza

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Al Moh. said:
Three items that make a man or rather trigger the transformation into one: The mirror, the sword and the rose.

I’ve been here for quiet a while now and I can see how a leads to b and b leads to c. This really is a chain of actions and reaction, a development very much like self-improvement itself. Yet I believe that self-improvement is not limited to a certain gender but rather something every human being should long for.

It all started out with me being “in love” with this one girl. What a fool he is, the guy who condems the mirror for the wimpish reflection he has to look at. But since this wasn’t the first girl that turned me down but rather the last one in a serie of crash and burns I finally realized that it’s not the mirror’s fault. A mirror does not lie. I was the problem.

Take a good look at yourself! Look deep inside, look for your core, your inner desires, the things you really want to do with your life. Confidence, strength, attitude, it’s all there already. You don’t have to reinvent the wheel, just make it spin.

When you meet a new person you ask questions because you want to know about this person. Do you like soccer? Do you like to go to the cinema? What kind of music do you listen to? Problem is: You can’t ask yourself. You have to go out and TRY those things, otherwise you’ll never know.

The journey to your inner core, the look into the mirror, can be really scary. To see yourself truthfully is a difficult and uncomfortable task, but the rewards are much greater than the pain. Because when you finally reach this hidden dark cave of your inner self, you will find something that is going to change your life. You are going to find the sword.

So now you are going to redirect your energies to the outside. The sword means self-confidence, strengths, boldness, self-respect, determination and a strong will. This is what you need to change your life and alter your own reality. You are going to train your skills, including your awarness.

It’s much like turning into a warrior. Stand your ground. Again, awarness is key as the first step to changing the world is understanding it, taking it in. It’s time to demonstrate your masculine side to the world, it’s time to burn your path through that forest and nature will crown you with leadership.

But now is also the time to see the flipside of the coin. The sword is double edged, as much a danger as it is a blessing. Watch out or you might cut yourself. Taking yourself too seriously, becoming arrogant, thinking you are better than other people, not caring about anyone anymore, throwing ALL morals over board, all of this is very much like the path to hell for you. There always have been good leaders and bad leaders. The bad leaders stand there, swinging their sword over their head, ready to destroy anything or anyone who stands in their way. History knows a lot of these people and Hitler is just one of them.

It has been said: In learning we teach and in teaching we learn. A teacher, much like a leader, has to learn from his students. It’s wisdom you finally begin to posess, wisdom that enables you to attain your final gift: The rose.

The rose is where real love finds it’s way back into your life. It’s love for yourself, it’s love for what you do, it’s love for other people and the world. And yes, it can be love for a woman that you might want to spend the rest of your life with. Now that you know yourself and your true nature, now that you act with strength and fortitude like a real man, now you can truly speak of love and happiness.

Enjoy your journey. It’s true that you never stop learning and improving but it gets easier and more enjoyable over time. Remember, being a Don Juan is like sliding down a hill. It’s easy, it’s fun and it’s worth the sweat and the pain you had in your past. Don’t despair! You are on the road to heaven.
This is one of the best posts I've read on here for a long time. Lovely metaphors, based on profound truths. And unlike so many posts on here, this is posted from a place of happiness and success. You can tell how satisfied people are in their journey toward romantic satisfaction by how embittered their posts are.

So well written too. I'm really impressed.

Your post has uncovered a lot of things I've discovered about my own masculinity. I hope you don't mind me sharing.

I'm not sure if you find this in your own experience: I'm still in the cave finding my way out), one big thing that is helping me get out is finding meaning. I just needed a cause or a moral grounding to my interactions with women. Going out to have sex just for sex has no meaning to me. It just seems hedonistic. I don't know if that makes sense. But once I decided to go out and date ethically, instead of manipulatively, that's when I started getting motivated to get out there. I still haven't found a way that dating helps me toward my overall goals of helping upgrade the world's ethics. But I'm looking and that is exciting.

Also here's an interesting play on the wording you used. I found that before I was trying to find my masculinity and I was failing miserably both with myself and with women. Most of the time, I just ended up taking on 2-dimensional stereotypes about men (aka going to the gym to get physically strong, acting "confident" (and badly)). It's only when I stopped trying to be a man, and started trying to be a HU-man that I started gaining a lot of success in forming friendships and my relationship with myself. We are all a mixture of man and woman. That is our full potential. I think that the most attractive people to me are ladies who have struck a balance of both sides of themselves. Not only are they stronger, they're more complex, more interesting. The same works vice versa IMO.

Iz
 

Al Moh.

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In my humble oppinion, this is one of my better posts which still is an inspiration for myself, much like "Kill that bitterness!" and "Willpower, baby!"

There is a lot of truth in izza's answer to this post: Just going to the gym and trying to be bold and badass is not going to make you a man. These are things you might do to get more in touch with your masculine side, yet it's not supposed to completely limit everything you did before that might not seem as "manly".

Pook said: The focus must be on yourself!

That's why he never said: Do x and then y and this will bring you closer to being a Don Juan. Everyone of us has to discover his own path to Don Juanism. That's why there isn't really right or wrong.

Jesus: You will recognize the good trees by their fruits.

What we all have to do is open our minds and stop deceiving ourselves. Only then can we realize what truly makes us happy. We have to use the mirror to see what really makes us happy. And then we have to strive for happiness. Don Juanism is the tool to make yourself happy.

Pook: Being a Don Juan is not a net sum of smooth manuevers and methods but of your own outlook on the world and on women.

There is no philosophy we can follow, just laws of nature we can try to understand which helps us to lead a happier life.

I've tried to put what being a Don Juan is about into words again and again but sometimes words don't seem to be sufficient. How do we describe a feeling and a special way of thinking?

Analogies often come in handy but I say, stop the word flow and live. If you met your 10 year younger self, how would you teach him your new experiences? It is impossible. You know, for him to truly become like you are today, he HAS TO go through trial and error, he has to make the same mistakes you made, he has to feel the same pain.

No amount of Don Juan armor will protect you from being hurt again, from loosing confidence from time to time, stop trying to be perfect, don't have the illusion that one day you can handle EVERYTHING with ease. That's not life. Life is about being scared and making a decision to either try and overcome your fear or back down.
 

izza

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Al Moh. said:
In my humble oppinion, this is one of my better posts which still is an inspiration for myself, much like "Kill that bitterness!" and "Willpower, baby!"

There is a lot of truth in izza's answer to this post: Just going to the gym and trying to be bold and badass is not going to make you a man. These are things you might do to get more in touch with your masculine side, yet it's not supposed to completely limit everything you did before that might not seem as "manly".

Pook said: The focus must be on yourself!

That's why he never said: Do x and then y and this will bring you closer to being a Don Juan. Everyone of us has to discover his own path to Don Juanism. That's why there isn't really right or wrong.

Jesus: You will recognize the good trees by their fruits.

What we all have to do is open our minds and stop deceiving ourselves. Only then can we realize what truly makes us happy. We have to use the mirror to see what really makes us happy. And then we have to strive for happiness. Don Juanism is the tool to make yourself happy.

Pook: Being a Don Juan is not a net sum of smooth manuevers and methods but of your own outlook on the world and on women.

There is no philosophy we can follow, just laws of nature we can try to understand which helps us to lead a happier life.

I've tried to put what being a Don Juan is about into words again and again but sometimes words don't seem to be sufficient. How do we describe a feeling and a special way of thinking?

Analogies often come in handy but I say, stop the word flow and live. If you met your 10 year younger self, how would you teach him your new experiences? It is impossible. You know, for him to truly become like you are today, he HAS TO go through trial and error, he has to make the same mistakes you made, he has to feel the same pain.

No amount of Don Juan armor will protect you from being hurt again, from loosing confidence from time to time, stop trying to be perfect, don't have the illusion that one day you can handle EVERYTHING with ease. That's not life. Life is about being scared and making a decision to either try and overcome your fear or back down.
Have you read "A New Earth" by Eckhart Tolle? I just finished it. What an incredible book. That is, I think, the perfect definition of solid inner game. I have rarely read a book with such humility and so many useful tools.

Thanks for the compliment on my post by the way!
Izza
 

SeanyB

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Al Moh. said:
T

Take a good look at yourself! Look deep inside, look for your core, your inner desires, the things you really want to do with your life. Confidence, strength, attitude, it’s all there already. You don’t have to reinvent the wheel, just make it spin.


The journey to your inner core, the look into the mirror, can be really scary. To see yourself truthfully is a difficult and uncomfortable task, but the rewards are much greater than the pain. Because when you finally reach this hidden dark cave of your inner self, you will find something that is going to change your life. You are going to find the sword.

So now you are going to redirect your energies to the outside. The sword means self-confidence, strengths, boldness, self-respect, determination and a strong will. This is what you need to change your life and alter your own reality. You are going to train your skills, including your awarness.
I don't know how to do any of that
 

Isko

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This is the note I was inspired to write myself after reading stuff in this post

everything you think is bad about yourself is true. it's true because you can't fool yourself; you can LIE to yourself but that will make you barely able to stand yourself, just like you'd react to anyone else who lied to you consistently.

the only things i think are bad about myself now are.. well.. hmm. i'm pretty happy with myself! i would like to be friendlier and more outgoing. i can be a bit of a jerk or self-centered *******.. what i mean is, there are times when i look back and say, "I was a real *******"... but awareness is the first step to changing so I'm ok with it. also I think a lot and don't work too much! i want a job, it would be more fun than constant time-wasting. i needed this time off to work on myself but now i feel ready. (haven't done too much for the past 9 months but i'm going to college in sep't.)

i would like to be nicer and to like people more. im trying to learn how to do that which i respect myself for. yeah.

i want to be living on my own two feet, cause i dont like spending my parents' money. hmm i dont have time for this ive got real stuff to do :D
 

The Gamer

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Old mythology these stages are well documented. These three things do not have to definately come in that order.

Many times they are referred to by colors: red, white, black.

Red indicating the boldness and power that comes out of youth and the full fledged tunnel vision of the youth out of adolesence. THIS is the FIRST STAGE! yet the stage that is often preched to the the end of all by this forum.

White indicates the mirrior of being able to reflect on oneself and the world and to find your inner warrior. HOWEVER! this inner warrior is put to use for a purpose. Only by using your mirrior may you find a purpose worth fighting for.

Black indicates the end of life. After achieving, the letting go of oneself and looking into the depths of soul and consciousness to make peace with everything.
 

Al Moh.

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@SeanyB: You can. Otherwise you wouldn't be here. I believe most of the people here looked at the mirror that is woman and that is why they came here. Some girl rejected them and that's when they finally saw their own reflection: They realized that they did something wrong. They realized they were the problem so they decided to change. But women are just one mirror. To see yourself truthfully can be achived in many ways. Trying out new stuff. Pushing your comfortzone and watching your own reactions. Asking other people and reflecting on their answer (but take every oppinion with a grain of salt!). Being open minded, writing down the flaws you see in yourself. Medidation works for some people. etc etc.
As for the sword, once you see yourself truhtfully you begin to change, because you want to improve your weakpoints. And once you realize you can change and do change, you gain more and more strength and confidence.

@Isko: Yeah, you must not lie to yourself. However, there are many people who have no confidence and think bad about themselves all the time. And then it's not always true, they don't see their own potential. Looking into the mirror isn't just about detecting flaws, you will also find new interests and talents.

@The Gamer: Yeah, your colors probably hold true if you look at your whole life. However, my article is not about the path for everyone, but just for an aspiring Don Juan. His childhood is already over, so is most of his social conditioning that we so desperately struggle to remove. But since we aren't some kind of radical group who seeks to indoctrinate people, we want the new DJs to find out what they want for themselves. By looking into the mirror FIRST, the aspiring DJ can decide for himself what he wants to change. He can decide himself what kind of social conditioning is bad for him and what he wants to remove.
This website is not about telling people: Become this and that. It's about giving tools to men, who want to fulfill their OWN DREAMS and it's about getting women: And in order to get women we need to know certain laws of nature and we teach them here. The primary purpose of this website shouldn't be: Become a pimp! It should be: Look, if you do this and that you will be more attractvie, if you do this you will be more likely to have a lot of ONS and if you do that you can weed out women to find the one. But in the end it's your choice what to do with these tools.
What is taught in the DJ bible isn't the end of all. This website will not give you the answer for your whole life. It can only give you a jump start into a new life, a life of purpose (which isn't chicks), a life of power over yourself and your fears, a life of joy and happiness. We cannot teach experience. That's what you get from life. There will be a point when you got everything out of this site you need. Then you either leave or stay here to help other people out. But in the end DJism is a foundation to place a life on. Life is not to be a foundation for DJism. Never.
 

Crissco

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Great thread bro! Its just what I needed to hear on this ****ty depressing day. TY
 

LinkinParkROX

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Best post ever! This makes the most sense compared to anything else I've ever read on here! Seriously, very pook-like material. Well done!
 
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