What is she up to?

Ok I met this girl a month ago. Since then, she's been staying over my house about 75% of the time. At first she tells me she wants to take it slow (don't all girls?) That lasted about 9 days... then we had sex. We had sex a few more days after that. Now it's been a little over 2 weeks, and NO sexual contact. Kissing yes, anything else no. At first I thought she might have been pregnant, but she's not... So I guess 1 of those weeks I can thank Aunt Flow.

I've meet most of her family, she's met mine. She's leaving things behind in my condo. Razor, shampoo, hair spray, tooth brush, etc. no pads though. When she's with me she refers to my place as home. Usually girls say "blah blah blah your place." She's even bought me some things for it...

But here's what it setting off little red flags in the back of my mind. The kissing has almost come to a screeching halt. It's only when I pick her up, we go to bed/wake up, and when I drop her off. Lately though, when I drop her off it's been hugs??? WTF??? and when I try to kiss her on the lips she turns in and I kiss her cheek. I tell her no a real kiss, then she kisses me on the lips.

She's also a heavy texter. I won't stop her from talking to friends, but I find it disrespectful at times. Because who is she really talking to? Is she bored? We do plenty of things together.... whatever.

My days off are always Tuesday and Wednesday. She tells me that she's got my days off this week... She stayed over Sunday into Monday because my sister flew in earlier in the week, and she wanted to meet her. So the plan was for the 3 of us to get lunch on Monday before my sister flew out. So in the morning she had to go home early to watch her niece so her sister could run an errand. So Monday night when I got out of work I picked her up and we went back to my place. She was complaining that her stomach hurt and she went to bed. I made the best of it and played GTA4 lol... I know she was sick though because I could hear her vomiting at like 5am. Later on she felt better and we went to my mothers for dinner (this is Tuesday night). After that she wanted to hang out with the girls so I took her home. She said she'd call me back to let me know if she wanted to stay over again. She was going to stay home, and she did because she called to say good night at like 2am from her sisters house. She calls me up Wednesday and tells me she has to fill in that night at work. But she's sorry that she "couldn't" stay over last night, and that she definitely wants to stay over Thursday night.

Still with me??

She calls up today, and because she filled in on Wednesday they gave her today off. BUT she had to watch her niece again but she wasn't sure what time her sister and husband would be home, so she'd call me to tell me what the plan was. **Oh yeah BTW she's about 10 minutes away from work so I usually pick her up on my way home**. She never calls. I get home at 1am and get a call from her sisters house. She's sorry she didn't call earlier. But she'll call tomorrow when she gets minutes on her phone (she uses phone cards.)

Am I making something out of nothing, or is there something else going on? I mean for a 21 year old girl to be staying out with a guy almost every night, and nothing sexual to be happening raises some concern. My buddy said it's nothing, and that she's setting up hoops for me because she's trying to determine if I just want sex or a relationship.

But you'd think that not having sex in over 2 weeks is enough to have the guy move on right? I'll admit it, we clicked from the start and I really like this girl. But I feel I'm at the point where the more she does these stupid little games, the more attraction I lose. I guess I should follow my signature.

ok, the signature is def good and worthy one.

i would guess two things:

lack of sexual tension

something is worrying her

first solution don't act you are disinterested and stay by her. but freeze out for some time now. remember you don't want sex, you care for her but still you don't go out of your way and let her come for you.

just some days in between while you are doing these things, just give her a hint that if she has a problem, she can def share it with her.

let me know how it goes.

Instead of calling today she texts me. Almost like first date follow up questions. How are you, what are you doing, etc. She tells me she's got to work today and tomorrow, and that she doesn't know when she'll see me again. But it will be soon and she asked if I'm ok with that. (Work has never been an issue of her seeing me, we work the same shifts.) Funny thing is that she texts her friends, but always calls me. So somethings up... I doubt it was because I ended the call quickly last night. To me 1am isn't an acceptable time to tell someone you can't make it. But in my mind, she blew me off and wanted to make sure I got home before she called. This way there was no change in her decision.

I'm not going to mentally torture my self over what's going on, but I know that her mother died when she was a kid... Maybe a little depression with Mothers Day being 2 days away.

I'm not going to mentally torture my self over what's going on, but I know that her mother died when she was a kid... Maybe a little depression with Mothers Day being 2 days away.

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Please don't let yourself begin to believe that. Back off for a while and start enjoying life as you did before her.

You're right. She's well aware of what she's doing, and is choosing to flake for whatever reason. I can't let that reason put my life in a rut. I have to enjoy my life like I did with out her.

I'm 24, the weather is warmer and summer is right around the corner. No way in hell am I letting this drag me down any further.

Eccentric said:

Instead of calling today she texts me. Almost like first date follow up questions. How are you, what are you doing, etc. She tells me she's got to work today and tomorrow, and that she doesn't know when she'll see me again. But it will be soon and she asked if I'm ok with that. (Work has never been an issue of her seeing me, we work the same shifts.) Funny thing is that she texts her friends, but always calls me. So somethings up... I doubt it was because I ended the call quickly last night. To me 1am isn't an acceptable time to tell someone you can't make it. But in my mind, she blew me off and wanted to make sure I got home before she called. This way there was no change in her decision.

I'm not going to mentally torture my self over what's going on, but I know that her mother died when she was a kid... Maybe a little depression with Mothers Day being 2 days away.

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Sounds like a typical case of "its over and she has moved on" hence all the excuses .... Women do what they want when they want , very little can stop them.. it seems to me that she has detached but is stringing you on to see how much you will take... How much will you take.

move on and spin some plates....

This is a perfect example of why one of my resolutions this year was "DO NOT TRUST WOMEN". She's obviously moved on and you should do the same...

She called today when I was on break at work. She just wanted to see what was up, and I could tell from the tone of her voice that the conversation was going no where. So I said it's been alright, but that my break was ending and I'd talk to her later. No calls or texts saying good night hun, something she always did.

Doesn't take a rocket scientist to tell me to break out the forks. Because it's pretty much done. She's still got some clothes at my place, and a bear she made at build a bear. We actually went there last week and she paid like $50 for it... Not sure if she wants it back. But whatever, she can drive up and get her stuff. I'm not dropping it off.

I'd be lying to you guys if I said a part of me isn't hurting right now. But I guess it's like a bandaid. The longer you wait to pull it off the more it hurts, the faster you get it over with the less it hurts.

Called again last night and left a message.

Hey Mike it's Amanda. I'm just calling to say hi, and see how things are going. Call me when you get out of work ok? Bye.

Never called back.

So today I'm out to lunch with my dad and she calls and I don't answer. I'm home now and I just checked my email. "Ouch are you trying to hurt me? May I ask why? I also called you last night but you never called me back! =("

Ok gentlemen, we've got something post worthy here. Eccentric is a perfect example of AFC'ism and DJ'ism at work and its effect on your relationship with a women.

His first AFC mistake was him spending 75% of his nights with a chick he just spent a month ago. By doing so, it takes away him being the prize, it takes away her imagination which is a very powerful DJ tool, its what gets her to dream/facinate about you, what builds up lust and eventually love in her mind.

He made all the classic mistakes or rushing into a relationship, falling into the text game and what happened, she got bored of him. She even began using the sex withholding card.

HOWEVER Eccentric was smart enough to take some of the limited advice he got here. He basically went NO CONTACT. He stopped calling her, stopped talking her calls.

Look what happened, its driving her crazy, now in the span of 24 hours, she's calling multiple times, sending emails, all wondering (HMMM IMAGINATION AT WORK) wondering what went wrong, what did she do.

See guys, you just have to have faith and listen to what we are saying. We aren't just making this stuff up, we've all been through the exact same scenarios as you, sometimes you have to let go or step back if its what you really want.

We know its not easy, we never said it would be, but with your persistance, your just pushing her away.

Remember people ALWAYS want what they CAN'T have. You've made yourself too available to her, thats why we say remember You are the PRIZE. Take you away from her and let her miss you, the best way for her to miss you is to get out there and live and amazing life. Let HER be the one checking your facebook, asking mutual friends what your doing. Men don't chase, they take what they want and if attention isn't returned (respected) a man moves on to something that returns the respect and attention.

Cmon guys, take control of your lives. You control your destiny, not some women.

Well I see your logic. It was a bit AFC of me to rush right in. To be honest, I love the single life, but I also love the companionship of a girlfriend. I should have seen her a half dozen times over the course of a month, not almost every day or every other day. Then if we became BF/GF, then I could increase the time we spend together. But I've been in slump and I mistook a base hit for a home run.

These 8 days that I haven't been with her also gave me time to reflect what she really offered me. The answer? Some sex and a girl to keep me company. That's all. No reason why I can't get that from another. Despite what some may think, I'm over her. The only reason I keep posting about it is, well I'm a guy and this site is best place for me to voice thoughts and opinions because only 1 of my friends really understands this stuff... Anyways.

Guys learn from my mistake. Live your life to the fullest without them. They're only guests. But when you have the knowledge to make the guest list, well that's what's important. Aside from your health, friends, family, and career obviously.

If you're rejected, hurt, you cant let them get the best of you. Say you live 80 years. That's 29,200 days. What the hell is my 30 days? It's pot hole on the road of life.

Keep on truckin.