Bars
1. Bars
So I work in a bar now. Haven't been at it for long, but I've picked up on some things that people do. Bars are a place where people let loose and show their true colors. I can point out the guys in the bar that are getting laid, the guys in the bar who probably don't know what a panties or a bra look like, and the girls who are waiting for Mr. Right to sweep them off their feet right at that moment and go do something Wrong.
What really separates the guys in bars who can go home with a girl at will, and the guys whose hands are going to be busy that night comes down to THREE things.
A. Be relaxed, calm and comfortable.
Guys who come into my bar with friends and leave minus their friends plus a babe always show these traits. They come in with their friends, having a good time but not getting overly excited. They don't sit forward in their seat fidgiting, they don't have their hands in their pockets, and their head isn't buried in the menu for twenty minutes.
A good don juan is always alert in the bar, and always takes command of his crew. He finds out what his friends want to drink and sends in the order to the bartender while his friends goof off and point out 'cool' or 'exotic' drinks on the ****tail menu. He's always one step ahead, and knows that he's there to have the best time possible, and that usually includes some female company.
To be comfortable and calm in a bar, you have to know what you're doing. Know what you're having to drink, how many drinks you're having, and how much you're willing to spend on drinks/tips. Know a little about what drink you're having, it'll give you something to talk about and will probably earn some respect from your friends, who likely have no idea what they're going to order and will spend 10 minutes gazing at the menu, finally settling on "I'll have a beer." That doesn't demonstrate confidence or interest, does it?
When I'm out with my buddies, I always start with a pint of Guinness, because it's a great way to start the night, and always gets me into the right frame of mind. Find a drink that you like, and make it a routine to always order it first. Don't even bother with the menu, chances are your lost and confused friends will follow suit, and you'll very quickly show them that you're on the ball and know what you're doing.
Be relaxed, don't start bouncing around or yelling in a loud voice. Stay in control of yourself.
Be calm, have fun with your friends and shoot the ****, but always keep an eye on the rest of the bar, so you pick up on the subtle signals that girls will give you, when they see that you're the leader of your crew. Some guys will say just 'fvck it im doing whatever i want, lets be obnoxious', but I've come to realize that those guys go home alone after closing.
B. Show your sexuality
This doesn't mean you should grope all the waitresses as they go by. They're there to serve you drinks and fries, and to be appreciated by you, not advanced on. I treat all bar staff pretty well. I flirt with some of the waitresses, but only lightly. Just enough to get her smiling, my friends laughing and ribbing me asking if I'm going to ask her out, and everybody in a good mood. It breaks the ice and gets you into a sexual state when you do some simple flirting, and getting the bar girls on your side will go a long way.
Dress properly too.. Don't go there with your big parka on with sweatpants and skate shoes, you're likely to attract guys looking for heroine and coke. Wear some nice ironed clothes, well co-ordinated colors, and add a stylish piece or two, not some big muff diver hat like Mystery wears or flashing goggles.. Those are for special occasions and for posers.
A good setup that I wear and works well for any caucasian guy is this(top to bottom):
-clean haircut(should always have one anyways)
-white undershirt
-black/white/dark blue collared tshirt(long collared shirts are for dances and other occasions, could do it with sleeves rolled up though) unbuttoned at the top
-White belt
-Dark blue jeans
-white socks
-clean white shoes
this isn't set in stone of course, but is a good casual setup that will attract notice in a bar(clubs are different).
-
So now that you're looking good and have all the bar girls smiling at you, you're ready to scope out which girls are interested(if you're having a good time, are presented well, and flirting with the bar girls you WILL get noticed).
So you see a girl whose giving you the eyes? Wait for her to go up by herself to get a drink from the bar, then make your move. Go up and order a drink as well, a ****tail, martini, or shooter works best. I already have a routine for this where I order a Liquid Cocaine(goldschlagger & jager), sophisticated, tastes good, interesting, and also simply because having a set routine means you don't have to think about the drink itself and can instead focus on the girl.
So, she's ordering, and you're ordering... Introduce yourself and say whats up, be casual and calm, not excited and intense or you'll blow yourself out early.
Fluff talk her for a bit and ask her some light questions, this is where your own personality should come out, not some line that you can feed her. Be interested in her and she'll reciprocate.
When you've ordered, just casually tell her that her crew(its usually a bunch of girls on a 'girls night out') should come over and join yours.
Then the ball is in her court. Hopefully you've just flirted with her a little, showed you're a cool guy. You can then go back to your seat and hang out with your friends, chances are she'll either a)bring her group over to meet yours b)try to communicated with you again in some way.
C. Social Proof
A good don juan is always the leader of his crew. Everyone knows that the alpha male scores the most booty. An 'alpha male' is one step ahead of his crew, feels responsible for them, and takes charge. He makes decisions for the group and decides what to do/where to go next.
If you follow the above, by acting calm and in control of yourself, being well dressed and having a good appearance, been the one to talk to the bar staff and the one with balls enough to flirt with the waitresses, and the one who goes in search of girls for the group, you will quickly find yourself on top of the social ladder in your group.
Also helpful are: getting to know the bartender, becoming a regular customer, and learning their names. It's always great when the bartender knows exactly what I want, how I want it, and uses my name. It demonstrates to any of your friends and girls in the bar that you have some social proof and you aren't just some bum off the street. Everyone is happy to see you.
Social proof is huge and separates the guys who can pull chicks with difficulty from the guys who can score girls with ease.
To recap the bar scene: Be a leader. Demonstrate to your friends that you are their leader when in the bars, demonstrate to the waitress that you are the groups leader, and pretty soon you'll be giving off that vibe to all the ladies in the bar. Dress for success, look sharp and well put together, girls don't like going home with an embarrassing guy regardless of how he makes her feel(social pressure from friends trumps all with girls. period.). Know what you're drinking and have some knowledge of drinks/alcohol, makes for good convo and always helps. Be sexual and unafraid; see who's interested and make a move, don't sit with your nose in your beer mug all night.. You might have fun, but you'll end up using those round rubbers in your wallet if you put some effort in.
Most of all, go there with purpose: To have the most fun possible that night.
).
