I don't often post about my personal life because it feels like an unnecessary self promotion to me.
It's not that I don't want to be scrutinized, or my Ego is being endangered somehow.
It's that some of the things that I experience are quite different than many men I have known.And sometimes when I have posted situations that have happened to me, I sometmies have either gotten a comment that it is false, or I feel like it is needless self promotion.
I post to share help, not necessarily share my personal details now.
Atthe same time I can definteley relate to A LOT of the same experiences you all have shared as well.
I'm sure many of you have realized now just how COMMON many of the exact same circumstances have been experienced by a great many of us.
It is uncanny.
Much of my path in life is not something I wish to discuss with too many people. Due to the highly spiritual emphasis.
So I am cautious as to whom I share my deepest beliefs with.
I also try to discern what is truly helpful in sharing about myself and what is not.
So my main thing is "Does this REALLY HELP or am I just talking about myself fluffing up my Ego here?"
(which looking back on this post feels a little egoish to me.)
I have to confess, that being a martial art instructor, and being partial to JKD and Taoism I have had many conflicts with Ego.
Years of evaluation and recognition, and conflict have made me very discerning. And I have had many revelations and breakthroughs through my study of martial art, and Zen and Taoism collectively. This is where I feel my greatest impacts of wisdom have come from.
I deal with men from a place where I teach, and some of whom I learn.
I accept that I am a perpetual student who is constantly refining his mind, and intellect, and strengthening my emotional intellegence and Emotional STRENGTH.
And open to learning and questioning his own beliefs.
I also feel that if I post aspects of my life, some people might think I am aggrandizing or making things up.
Do I have vulnerabilities and aspects that I need to adress?
Yes, most definitely.
I too have emotional issues that I need to address.
And I do this while pursuing my dreams.
I realize that I am introverted in dealing with issues. In that, I face a difficulty, step back and gain perspective, apply my tools, and adress the situation. All of these I tend to do on my own. With rare exceptions do I go to the outside for help.
I accept that one of my strongest beliefs is that I must face life as if I were living on a deserted island.
What would I do?
how would I survive?
How would I thrive?
I learn from external sources and then apply them to my life. I gain wisdom and then apply my knowledge, my Intellect to the situation.
It is so important for men to be able to gain strength from doing all they can to understand this very concept.
To live alone and not only survive, but THRIVE.
If you pursue this beleif, you will be much stronger when adversities, be they emotional or mental, perhaps financial/career related come your way.
There is a strange piece of advice, that in reality is beneficial. However you must face it and accept it in a certain manner.
"Live your life as if your father were passed"
(while we, as masculine Men, do seek femenine nurturing, the mature man does not seek 'mothering'. He does often seek Mentoring and fathering. However, he must learn to be his own Mentor and Father. he does not exclude his parents from his life, but he must make the strong realziation that he cannot depend on them 100% for his health and maturity and for the health and well being of his parents.
Men who seek more Femenine nurturing than Mentoring/Fathering, have imbalance issues which need to be adresed immediately. And men who become overly dependent on their fathers, begin to drain their own masculinity, and this impacts their lives, and their interactons with women.
Thus, the mature masculine man, whom is healthy and wise seeks a Balance.
He DOES SEEK OUT and NEED Femenine Nurturing. This he accepts and embraces, and he is at peace with. And he also recognizes that sometimes he must look outside to strong male role models for advice and counsel. HE then finds this inner balance, and becomes strong, masculine, healthy and radiant.)
It is very important to meditate on this and make your realization about its true nature and what it really means.
Part of this is the idea of living alone on a deserted island.
If you can do that, then yuor life here in the city where you literally have EVERYTHING at your fingertips, and will propbably NEVER be stranded on a desert island will be much easier to deal with.
I also wish to point out that this concept also applies to your partnership wth a woman.
Women look to men as their protectors and providers.
They hope that if they do become emotionally invested in you, you will live up to your masculine potential.
Be a leader, get things done, care for her and the children, provide safety and resources.
All these things are essential.
Imagine if you and her where stranded n a desert island.
How many of you would collapse in fear and anxiety , completely abandon lucidity and reasoning?
"I have no idea what to do, and how to survive on this island."
Now imagine that you are with your woman on this island.
Imagine how she is feeling knowing that you lost it, and broke down.
Imagine her fear, and terror. Stuck on a deserted island with a man who COLLAPSED. Broken. With no mental and emotional resources.
This is the deep underlying concept that resides deep within women's psyches.
That is what they fear.
This is what they do not want to experience with you.
This is what terrifies them. To find out after they've fallen in love with you, and perhaps had a child ,that while on this island, you BROKE.
You were not the man she thought you were.
This is a metaphor.
You should think about it.
I have made an emphasis in my life to be independent. SOowhen the situaiton comes for leadershio and guidance, and SHARING, I am strong.
Not NEEDY.
I learn on how to be "the Rock."
I learn to live as a Renaissance man.
Multiple interests and hobbies. And multitasking as I handle my day to day and my obligations.
That is my philosophy. It may not work for you, but it works for my perspective.
I am fascinated by women. I adore women.
And am curious about their inner workings.
So I find my live of women and my other interests go hand in hand.
Dr. Paul mentioned that the Equation to Masculinity was
Masculinity= Skill with women+ Skill with Mission.
I agree.
OK, this is too long for my taste. And a little personal, but oh well..
I hope this sheds a little light.
Thanks for your supprt and your interest in me.
I look forward to helping and sharing in order to reach our goals and live the lfie we want to live.
PS Holy mother! This post is freakin book! Oh well, I hope it helps.
Sorry, guys.
Actionless action, redirection, gaming without games, being the unshaped block of wood so you can adapt to any situation, it's all there.