Rock Bottom--advice via Interceptor

You CANNOT EXPECT things from people.

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Victory Unlimited said:

Yo Gerard,






For me, the ROCK that keeps me standing during the darkest of times is my Spiritual beliefs. But unlike many, my spiritual beliefs are not the product of childhood training, traditional church indoctrination, OR “societal pressures”.

My spiritual beliefs come as much from meditations on mine and OTHERS’ real life experiences, as they do from what many would call sacred scriptures. Mine is not a faith that born from naivety, or a need to deny reality, BUT from a recognition of certain truths that resonate within me. Truths that I have found have proven to be MORE than safe to build each level of my life upon.

I would suggest to you, that in addition to the uplifting, and positive advice you’ve already received from the good men and women here, that you may give some thought to the possibility of exploring your spirituality------in whatever way that seems “right” to you.

But to each his own----and much RESPECT to any and all who see things differently.

Now having said ALL that, my brother, I would also ask you to consider changing your focus. There is no lasting value in engaging in excess-navel picking. And there is also no lasting value in crying out for help either-----IF you are determined to refuse ALL of it. For that would only make you an Attention Whhore, wouldn’t it? But judging from the depth, and insights that your past posts seem to indicate--------YOU are far from that.

You are just marching through a deep level of darkness at this moment. And from the sound of it, it seems as if that it’s a FAMILIAR darkness. But this CAN BE your chance to change your life forever for the better. How?

By changing your perspective. By CHOOSING to look at your life through a more positive, more self-benefiting lens. My friend, there are men fighting wars across this globe who have more pressing concerns right now than not being able to find the right chick YET, not being able to make many friends YET, or feeling so bored with the sameness of life that they have the “luxury” of devaluing it by seriously considering suicide.

No, their biggest concern right now is probably just trying to stay alive, trying to save their OTHER leg from being blown off, and trying to get back home where they CAN have the luxury of leading a “boring and seemingly unfruitful” life AGAIN.

Your PAST does not have to equal your FUTURE.

Count your blessings my man. Take some time to list AND APPRECIATE all the things that you usually take for granted------things that if you didn’t have them, your life would definitely be even more negatively impacted.

I have found that an attitude of GRATITUDE is a powerful weapon in overcoming a spirit of DEPRESSION.

Field Report:

One Christmas, years ago, after the death of my Grandmother (who raised me, who I took care of for many years due to her prolonged battle with illness), I was thinking in a similar fashion as you----NOT suicide, but definitely ambivalence over living or dying. At the time, my life was filled with the mundane. No women worth anything in my life, dealing with chronic health issues, working the most mundane of jobs, etc. You get the picture…Anyway, while I was deep into “hour three” of my self-pity party, I was distracted by the sound of laughter. Somebody on CNN was laughing like hell, almost hysterically so.

I turned the sound up-----it was CHRISTOPHER REEVE. Here he was, a quadriplegic, strapped to a machine, with a tube connected to his throat-----talking and chuckling about how much he was enjoying his day.

What the FUKK????

And here I was, with problems, and dealing with adversities that were nowhere NEAR as challenging as his must have been, YET, I was the one wallowing in my own self-magnified grief like a BIIITCH. Needless to say, it didn’t take me long after seeing that to snap the fukk out of it and get over my mutherfukkin’ self.

That’s the day I started purposely reminding myself to always try to have an attitude of gratitude. Sure, there are still dark times. I’m fighting my way through a NEW barrage of them as I’m writing this right now, but still----I MARCH ON.

Why?

Because my mindset now is that every day ABOVE ground is a “good” day-----if for no other reason, than just because another day alive is another day to GET IT RIGHT.

So don’t be in too big a hurry to end your own life, because there are many factors AND FOLKS out here just waiting in line to end it for you. So why the fukk would you want to add YOURSELF to their number????

YOUR mission is to fight on---to live life to the fullest-----to make an impact----so that by the time you EVENTUALLY pass away….you will have left a mark in the lives of others---AND ON THIS WORLD, so indelible that it can’t be ERASED.

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KarmaSutra said:

I'm proud of all of the posters in this thread. Especially those ranking officers who had the mental fortitude to save these posts in order to help a soldier in the future.

There is true comraderie within the Brotherhood of SoSuave and it makes me smile.

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Understanding ourselves probably aids self-acceptance, self-control, and good relationships. But selfunderstanding only comes from interacting with others; we know ourselves in comparison to others. So, the two--self-awareness and insight into relationships--develop together. Indeed, we have a relationship with ourselves as well as with others. Jo Courdet in Advice From A Failure observes: "Of all the people you will know in a life time, you are the only one you will never lose." This relationship with the "me" inside is crucial; the better we know ourselves, the better we know others, since our perception of our own selfprovides us with our primary means of understanding all other humans.

Why are so many relationships unhappy?

There are many reasons. Sydney Jourard and Ted Landsman (1980) say a healthy relationship has (1) open, honest communication, (2) reasonable expectations or demands of each other, (3) concern about the other's well being and (4) freedom for both to be themselves. That sounds pretty easy but is it? What interferes with healthy relationships? Hamachek (1982) says (1) we underestimate the changes we need to make but push too hard for other people to change, (2) not liking ourselves is usually associated with not liking other people, (3) shyness inhibits closeness and intimacy with others and (4) playing deceptive, selfserving "games" will drive others away. Brown (1995) describes the decline of true intimacy in our culture and tries to explain why Americans are becoming more and more unable to sustain meaningful relationships.

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