Re-Inventing myself online.

On this time-zone going to Feb 3rd, I'm trying to experiment with and enhance my online presence, which to date the results have been dismal.

Here are a couple of ideas I've thought about for experiments which I intent to specifically do on plentyoffish and match.com.

Before I start, I'm going to delete my old profiles, perhaps take a break for a few weeks, then start experimenting with new profile concepts.

The following profile concepts will be played with:

1) Having photographs including baby pictures or pictures of me when I was a child along with my recent photograph to see how that attracts or appeals to what type of women.

2) Deleting the photo entirely, but put an excuse saying that I'm in a high-profile job (i.e. lie about it) and will deliver the photo upon request - or create some mystery on not sending the photograph right away.

3) On December - I"ve experienced success online with the 'Santa-Clause' stunt so I'm going to re-do it again. I used a song from Britteny Spears - some Christmas melody, and generated a profile themed or premised on the lyrics and it had nice results.

As usual, I'll report the results of these findings once they are done to see if they work or not.

What doesn't seem to work thus far very well is my current profile set:
- Picture of me, and me in Italy, etc... appears to be a bit geeky, and the profile itself portrays me like a fanatic or like I'd probably preach on the first date. That hasn't produced much results, so I'll be experimenting with other varients later once the current people I'm corresponding to online have been purged (i.e they fade away or dissappear). So, by Thursday I should be taking that one down.

dude, what again is your purpose...........it should be to bang more chics. NET DATING is the lowest form of being a Duan Juan/pick up artist.

Its all too easy to get caught up in all the cool photo trix virtual wannabe players use. The fact remains if you are using the internet to conduct lame experiments for the sole purpose of boasting rights on here.

ALLOW ME TO SAVE YOU TIME-------Ya picture psychology does affect YOUR RESULTS.

action pictures/b&w/pics with other women/ the list goes on and on.

This has already been done, already written about in dating for dummies book, psychology today and on match/pof/ and countless other dating sites.

the results are not earth shattering or even enlightening.......DIFFERENT PICS GET DIFFERNT CHICS...........AS do altering your height, weight, income level, profile, blah blah blah.

ITS NOT IF YOU GET A CHICS ATTENTION........its what you after she responds that determines the date.

see this is why NET dating is a low form of pick up.

REQUIRES TIME, THOUGHT, PROACTIVE AND REACTIVE EMAILS U have to rely on the other person to read your IM's/emails then wait for a response, then send out anther email........ask for her number........etc.

Yes the technolgy is getting better (cell phones, instant messages, etc) but virtual rapport and LIVE IN THE FIELD rapport are differnt.

use the computer from time to time.........when you are sick or bored stiff, but get out there and DO LIVE STUFF. NOTHING BUILDS CHARACTER more than doing in live.

SO SOME SOUND ADVICE.........LOGG OFF & GET ROLLING

COD said:

dude, what again is your purpose...........it should be to bang more chics. NET DATING is the lowest form of being a Duan Juan/pick up artist.

Its all too easy to get caught up in all the cool photo trix virtual wannabe players use. The fact remains if you are using the internet to conduct lame experiments for the sole purpose of boasting rights on here.

ALLOW ME TO SAVE YOU TIME-------Ya picture psychology does affect YOUR RESULTS.

Click to expand...

Good - cause right now I'm getting zero results right now, so I figure it's now a good idea to experiment with different ways of expressing myself - but I'm not thinking of doing this now - I'm going to purge all remaining prospects that is in my mental databank first (see if I'll get anywhere) before I try new experiments.

COD said:

action pictures/b&w/pics with other women/ the list goes on and on.

Click to expand...

Whatever pics / profile I have been using appear to be counter-intuitive towards picking up girls or anything of that sort.

COD said:

This has already been done, already written about in dating for dummies book, psychology today and on match/pof/ and countless other dating sites.

the results are not earth shattering or even enlightening.......DIFFERENT PICS GET DIFFERNT CHICS...........AS do altering your height, weight, income level, profile, blah blah blah.

ITS NOT IF YOU GET A CHICS ATTENTION........its what you after she responds that determines the date.

Click to expand...

You forgot age. I look young and that could be altered too. Which leads to interest in experimenting. So that's great - you are saying with some improvements to my bonehead profile I may get some response so I can at least evaluate how it goes. CAuse right now the email reply or response rate is just dismal - it's easier to chat up attractive chicks offline then to do so online since they get crowded with emails and unless you really stand out or appeal to them you dont have much of a chance - which is why I'm thinking of revamping my profile somewhat.

COD said:

see this is why NET dating is a low form of pick up.

REQUIRES TIME, THOUGHT, PROACTIVE AND REACTIVE EMAILS U have to rely on the other person to read your IM's/emails then wait for a response, then send out anther email........ask for her number........etc.

Yes the technolgy is getting better (cell phones, instant messages, etc) but virtual rapport and LIVE IN THE FIELD rapport are differnt.

Click to expand...

I know that, like I said my response rate so far is too dismal so I cant even work on other parts of my game, I need to attract more attention. If I'm lucky enough to get a response, then the problem appears that I feel validated from that response and turn needy/clingy on that one lead and end up screwing up anyway (if she's hot).

COD said:

use the computer from time to time.........when you are sick or bored stiff, but get out there and DO LIVE STUFF. NOTHING BUILDS CHARACTER more than doing in live.

SO SOME SOUND ADVICE.........LOGG OFF & GET ROLLING

Click to expand...

Of course - since it's too difficult to get a proper response from going online as it already is, I will probably use up a couple of old leads and someone I was hanging out with and then take it from there.

The following profile concepts will be played with:

1) Having photographs including baby pictures or pictures of me when I was a child along with my recent photograph to see how that attracts or appeals to what type of women.

2) Deleting the photo entirely, but put an excuse saying that I'm in a high-profile job (i.e. lie about it) and will deliver the photo upon request - or create some mystery on not sending the photograph right away.

3) On December - I"ve experienced success online with the 'Santa-Clause' stunt so I'm going to re-do it again. I used a song from Britteny Spears - some Christmas melody, and generated a profile themed or premised on the lyrics and it had nice results.


Instead of trying to pretend to be cool, how about working on actually being cool? This pretending to be someone else is a product of low self-esteem. Cut that sh!t out. There are plenty of girls who will want you without some elaborate act. But they can smell your low self-esteem and lack of confidence, which is what is hurting you most.

Bible_Belt said:

The following profile concepts will be played with:

1) Having photographs including baby pictures or pictures of me when I was a child along with my recent photograph to see how that attracts or appeals to what type of women.

2) Deleting the photo entirely, but put an excuse saying that I'm in a high-profile job (i.e. lie about it) and will deliver the photo upon request - or create some mystery on not sending the photograph right away.

3) On December - I"ve experienced success online with the 'Santa-Clause' stunt so I'm going to re-do it again. I used a song from Britteny Spears - some Christmas melody, and generated a profile themed or premised on the lyrics and it had nice results.


Instead of trying to pretend to be cool, how about working on actually being cool? This pretending to be someone else is a product of low self-esteem. Cut that sh!t out. There are plenty of girls who will want you without some elaborate act. But they can smell your low self-esteem and lack of confidence, which is what is hurting you most.

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What are you talking about? You are not really offering any practical advice here and you are not making any sence. You have to understand that I'm not you, or like most people on this board and have a real disconnect when it comes with women which I think should be obvious.

Let's go down to the bottom line. If I'm saying that nobody is responding to an honest profile or is showing any feedback then how am I supposed to be confident or have self-esteem in that area? The online game just sucks - when you are getting nowhere you are already at the bottom and any adjudgment or change has only two places to go - the same, or better, so it cant get worst than it is right now.

Again I'm talking about online profile and the fact that I'm getting virtually a very low response rate back from emails I sent with no initiation from anyone. I'm going to tinker with the online profile in the future as opposed to entirely giving up and writing off the online dating system - see those are the only two options for me.

Luke Skywalker, man, I really feel for you. You've been posting here for a while, and to be honest, you should be getting results by now.

I am not trying to put you down in any way, but what I am suggesting is that you are not implementing the recommended changes. I truly believe if you were, then you would be seeing results by now.

I don't know you, but I really get the impression that you feel even if you tried your very best with the best information out there, your results would still be dismal.. Am I right or wrong about this? This is really important because all the technique in the world won't have much affect unless we can get you to follow through 100% with suggestions.

Skywalker, I am suggesting that you bring your A game. Forget the AFC past bro, that just doesn't have to be you for even another day. Success is there if you want it and if you're willing to let go of the past.

Ok end of soapbox, do you have a link to your online profile so we can check it out and critique it?

online dating is ok, though not as satisfying as actually going out.

here's a couple tips.

-blog. Be honest, and blog often. Tell what you're doing and how you feel about it. Women will read this and get a sense of who you are from it.

-use hotornot.com to figure out a good main picture. just of yourself, no kids or anything like that.

-extra pictures should be of you enjoying life. if you mountain bike, get someone to get a picture of you on that. if you play chess, a picture of you doing that.

-also pictures of you having fun. party pictures are great, if you're on a dating site try getting a picture with a girl, but then blank her face out, and the girls looking at your profile will imagine them to be hot.

overall, you want to look lively if you want to do this. might as well do it right from the start. avoid baby pictures, then you'll only get women with kids.

-finally, IM is cool and all, but you really should try for a number asap. if that's out of reach, using IM allows you to practice talking to women. ALL conversational skills in real life are applicable to messaging as well. Learn to message well, and you will be able to communicate in real life better.

this is not a replacement for actually going out, but perhaps it will motivate you to meet more people. good luck.

marinetti said:

online dating is ok, though not as satisfying as actually going out.

here's a couple tips.

-blog. Be honest, and blog often. Tell what you're doing and how you feel about it. Women will read this and get a sense of who you are from it.

Click to expand...

They have this forum-thing on plentyoffish, I've been posting on the forums.

marinetti said:

-use hotornot.com to figure out a good main picture. just of yourself, no kids or anything like that.

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I've done that. In fact, the highest ranking photo I had was an 8, and I used that as the main photo on plentyoffish.

marinetti said:

-extra pictures should be of you enjoying life. if you mountain bike, get someone to get a picture of you on that. if you play chess, a picture of you doing that.

Click to expand...

Have already tried that - no positive effect on results. For example, I had photos of myself on my latest trip to Italy in a few fun shots.

marinetti said:

-also pictures of you having fun. party pictures are great, if you're on a dating site try getting a picture with a girl, but then blank her face out, and the girls looking at your profile will imagine them to be hot.

Click to expand...

Have already tried that - no positive effect on results. Have a hot looking cousin that was used on one of the pic. Anyone can take a photo beside arm candy anyway. I looked petrified hugging her anyway, my hands were like clenched a bit on her shoulder, but it's a small photo in the set anyway - I'm not sure if it's broadcasted out or not, but feedback on the site seemed that all the photos in some way or antoher just looked 'geeky'.

marinetti said:

overall, you want to look lively if you want to do this. might as well do it right from the start. avoid baby pictures, then you'll only get women with kids.

Click to expand...

Most of the suggestions were already tried, except baby or young kid pics.
Furthermore, it would be a picture of myself when I was a kid not my own kid (I dont have any obviously).

marinetti said:

-finally, IM is cool and all, but you really should try for a number asap. if that's out of reach, using IM allows you to practice talking to women. ALL conversational skills in real life are applicable to messaging as well. Learn to message well, and you will be able to communicate in real life better.

Click to expand...

I'm not even there - getting a reply to an email or getting any connection from anyone online is a challenge enough right now.

marinetti said:

this is not a replacement for actually going out, but perhaps it will motivate you to meet more people. good luck.

Click to expand...

It's not motivating me to meet more people it's making me feel like a freak that nobody would touch with a ten foot pole.

Let's cut to the chase. How many girls have you actually asked out?

everywomanshero said:

Luke Skywalker, man, I really feel for you. You've been posting here for a while, and to be honest, you should be getting results by now.

I am not trying to put you down in any way, but what I am suggesting is that you are not implementing the recommended changes. I truly believe if you were, then you would be seeing results by now.

Click to expand...

What specific recommended changes are you talking about?

everywomanshero said:

I don't know you, but I really get the impression that you feel even if you tried your very best with the best information out there, your results would still be dismal.. Am I right or wrong about this?

Click to expand...

Probably right.

everywomanshero said:

This is really important because all the technique in the world won't have much affect unless we can get you to follow through 100% with suggestions.

Click to expand...

What suggestions?

everywomanhero said:

Skywalker, I am suggesting that you bring your A game. Forget the AFC past bro, that just doesn't have to be you for even another day. Success is there if you want it and if you're willing to let go of the past.

Click to expand...

I dont have an AFC past, I have an INCEL (Involuntary Celibacy) past, which is worst than a WBAFC past - but the line of thought is the same. I get infatuated with limerant objects and tend to develop severe oneitises with some people once in a blue moon that tend to reinforce my latent insecurities.
If I get into a relationship there is no passion on it because there is no spark and I dont feel for her so it comes apart. I never had a successful relationship based on pure mutual attraction in my life. So, what past exactly are you talking about - there is no past.

everywomanshero said:

Ok end of soapbox, do you have a link to your online profile so we can check it out and critique it?

Click to expand...

I'll post it tommorow, I'm so fed up right now that I dont want to even go on that site today, I usually go on once a day and already went there this morning, I'd rather do anything else than go on this site again today, but I'll try again tommorow.

No offense, but you kind of come off as a nerd. Spice up your personality a little.

Snowman23 said:

Let's cut to the chase. How many girls have you actually asked out?

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Yeah, let's cut to the chase. When you are online, you have to have a few email exchanges before you ask someone out or you look like a maniac asking everyone out on the first line (tried that, no results). Even offline you have to have some sort of rapport before asking a total stranger out that you now nothing about at least to get to the point where you can feel familiar with the person enough to even ask for their number or whatever.

As of October 25, I've asked out one person online that I've known, who seems to be backpeddling so she's probably out, and another person who never replied back, and the majority of people online simply do not reply back to the emails that I send, but I get lots of profile views indicating there is probably a disconnect somewhere in the profile.

Snowman23 said:

No offense, but you kind of come off as a nerd. Spice up your personality a little.

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Whatever, I said I have a disconnect somewhere and changing your personality or whatever so you can be more appealing comes across as creepy and desperate - which is worst than nerdy - have you ever tried making fake smiles at people or trying to act in a certain way to try to manipulate results and people saw right through that? You cant change a personality like that.

haha you need a website to get chicks...
If your computer just exploded this second and you were going to explode too unless you fvcked a girl by midnight, what would you do?

Agreed. The computer is hurting a lot of guys on here. They think they can view the forums, eat cheetos all day, and pickup girls by sitting in their house.

You need to go out in PERSON... and talk to women.

90% of the guys in here can't get women because they don't TALK to them.

They just sit here and analyze all day long.

http://www.plentyoffish.com/member931454.htm

This is the link to the current profile on plentyoffish.

lol

Email journal from October 25th onwards.

12 emails were sent to people on this dating site.

Out of those 12 emails, 3 were replied to, leading to a response rate of 1:4 or about 25%.

No dating rapport from anyone.

Out of those 3, there have been no fixed dating rapport, but it appears that I'm talking to 1/3 right now. The other two appear to have lost interest during the exchange - one of them possibly because she's an atheist so we are fundmentally incompatable - despite I was looking for a potential travel companion and she seemed well versed in travelling so I continued trying to talk with her - the other one was 18 years old and is probably high demand anyway and I probably only got the first response because we had common faith to talk about - but her interest level doesn't appear to be high enough verses other competing suitors.

A profile was also tried earlier one with less of a religious tone and a bit more anonymous, and it still had rather poor results, meaning to say that you have to stand out when doing the profiles - but in a way that appeals or connects with people so that they feel sympathetic with me when reading it rather than coming across like a 'know it all' prudish fanatic - I'm not sure if this current profile is really helping to make an emotional connection with people as it may seem prude and ivory-tower / nerdy like.

True on that, stop thinking and start doing. You seem to be into Star Wars, so didn't Yoda say some crap like "to try is to not do" or something along those lines? You've been on this site for a good year and a half, I would think by now you would have skipped most of the online games and taken whatever it is you've learned into the real world to put it to use. But instead you come across as a KBJ who is wondering why his internet strategies don't have the girls lining up at his doorstep. If we are viewing you this way then why would the females be any different?

You are obviously in denial, and any time somebody throws out a criticism you immediately say they aren't helping you. You're 40 (?) years old and nobody is going to hold your hand. If you don't want to change, you won't be changed. We're not doing to do anything for you.

I think it would almost be a great idea if we stopped trying to help you. Then it would leave you with two choices:

1) Stay as you are and never make any progress.
2) Put your foot down and do something about it.

Our advice seems to only be a crutch to your lack of success because it gives you another excuse to think too much, and a scapegoat to fall back on when you half-áss it and nothing works. If you were truly putting anything on this website to use you would have gotten what you wanted a month after you joined this site.

That's right folks, I'm crashing this pity party.

What pity-party? I have put a link to my profile on here for constructive analysis and have even provided my own analysis on this site so far with a few plans to change my profile at the beginning of this thread.

I dont see any pity-party here. In fact I think anyone who is not offering practical advice on this thread concerning it's subject matter at hand is hijacking and/or trolling this thread. There is no denial here - just objective facts about the response to my latest profile with the hope of getting a better numbers or response.

Anyway - if nobody has a real response to the profile - I'm just going to change it with my pre-set agenda on my first post in due time. But I dont think a response ratio of 25% is that bad since some guys have a rate of like 1:12 which is average experience.