The "Friend Zone"- is it really that hard to get out of as people say it is?

Hope this can stay in the Mature Forum as it's a question directed to those with the experience(which would obviously be the more older guys here) to know about it. Now I know the "Friend Zone" has been talked about a ton on here and has gotten to be a tedious and old discussion, but I'd like to clear one thing up about it...

As I've mentioned before, I've never in my life stood friends with any chick I wanted to nail who put me in the "friends zone"(even when I had my certain AFC tendencies), so, I wouldn't have the answer to it.

The question is: How hard is it to get out of the "friend zone" after you've shown a woman that you are no longer an AFC, which is now evident in your behavior and interactions with her? By getting out of the "friend zone" I mean by getting to f*ck her, or getting into something long term.


It's been talked about it here, how once you've been put in the "friends zone", nothing can save you from that, no matter how much of a DJ you become(if I'm not mistaken)..how a womans first impression of you is unfortunately her LASTING impression of you that she'll never get out of her head, but how true is this really and how hard is it really to get out of that "friend zone" if you've gotten your game together and are no longer that AFC? Anyone have any stories of this, or know anybody who does?

Backbreaker's story is just one of which I've heard of thus far on here.

It's not hard, just takes time, gotta get to the point where you could care less ...that's when them panties will come off, and not a moment sooner ! !
every single time I have done it I remember saying " I aint gonna poke her so who gives a **** " I'm 6/6 on the conversion

Note :

It's usually not worth the wait or energy you put into it ...

the firendship usually ends shortly after sex for some reason, so don't even think about a relationship because you will be one bitter mofo after you hit it ..

Best bet :

spin more plates and pursue a chick that wants you.

common mistakes : nexting the chick and issuing a more than friends or nothing ultimatam, chasing the chick, acting upset when she talks about guys

you can pull it off but again : you can't just act like you don't give a ****, you really need to not give a ****

:rockon:

Not me bro. Here's the best thing I've ever read about that.

http://www.sosuave.com/articles/escaping.htm

Sorry Poster after thinking back I only have about 33% average on the conversion ...about 6/18 ..... some had boyfriends, some were married, some would not budge !

not one of the 6 were worth the effort I put in and I'm friends with none of them now !

:nono:

So who is she?

As far as I can remember I have only really been in the friend zone once, and I DID somewhat manage to get out of it.

I liked this chick and expressed my feelings for her (in so many words). She didn't reciprocate.

She moved out of state, but came back a year or so later for the summer. Maybe (probably) it was the fact that she needed to have "someone" to date that she came around and we hooked up for a month or so.

Ahhhhhh....the AFC days.....

edger said:

Hope this can stay in the Mature Forum as it's a question directed to those with the experience(which would obviously be the more older guys here) to know about it. Now I know the "Friend Zone" has been talked about a ton on here and has gotten to be a tedious and old discussion, but I'd like to clear one thing up about it...

As I've mentioned before, I've never in my life stood friends with any chick I wanted to nail who put me in the "friends zone"(even when I had my certain AFC tendencies), so, I wouldn't have the answer to it.

The question is: How hard is it to get out of the "friend zone" after you've shown a woman that you are no longer an AFC, which is now evident in your behavior and interactions with her? By getting out of the "friend zone" I mean by getting to f*ck her, or getting into something long term.


It's been talked about it here, how once you've been put in the "friends zone", nothing can save you from that, no matter how much of a DJ you become(if I'm not mistaken)..how a womans first impression of you is unfortunately her LASTING impression of you that she'll never get out of her head, but how true is this really and how hard is it really to get out of that "friend zone" if you've gotten your game together and are no longer that AFC? Anyone have any stories of this, or know anybody who does?

Click to expand...

Listen...it is a WASTE of time. Here is the thing...even if you manage to get out...you will NEVER be "safe". Do you know why? My experience is that the women that have lasted long time with me and have wanted to have a future with me have been the women that experienced that CHEMICAL reaction when they first met me or interacted with me.

You cannot negotiate that chemical reaction. And the chances of some other man taking your place are VERY high if you come from the "Friend Zone" to a relationship.

The effort is NOT worthy.

squirrels said:

So who is she?

Click to expand...

I wasn't refering to anybody, I created the discussion out of curiosity.

My advise is to don't give a fvck. I spent time on this in the past and truly the only thing that works is pretending you don't give a fvck. But then I realized pretending you don't give a fvck is not as good as actually sincerely not giving a fvck.

Finally, when the opportunity presents itself, you must give a fvck. I mean give her a fvck. Because if you don't give her a fvck, then you'd still be friends, right?

Any questions?

The only way to really be out of the freind zone, is if you already established some sort of flirty behaviour with the "friend" adn if SHE has a sexual attraction to YOU. If you are too much of a "nice", or "safe" guy...then that is all the chick will see.

The link a few posts before this provided an example where a girl admitted feelings, but the guy was AFC and it did not work out. Then he explains how after she returned the love affair continued because he was NO LONGER AFC...

To me that story is a bit of BS.

Once a girl is sexually ATTRACTED TO YOU, 100% there will ALWAYS be an attraction!

It wasn't this guys "new DJ abilities" that got him the chick again...it was the sexual attraction that was already there.

That is why abused girls are always going back to their a$$hole BF...or why ex-lovers hook up every once in a while.

I have never yet turned a "close girl friend" into anything more unless she wanted more. The reason is because if I wanted her, I would have never settled for "just friends". I would have been macking her from the get-go.

The only way to get out of a "friends zone" is if SHE wants you first.

Tantric said:

Once a girl is sexually ATTRACTED TO YOU, 100% there will ALWAYS be an attraction!

It wasn't this guys "new DJ abilities" that got him the chick again...it was the sexual attraction that was already there.

That is why abused girls are always going back to their a$$hole BF...or why ex-lovers hook up every once in a while.

I have never yet turned a "close girl friend" into anything more unless she wanted more. The reason is because if I wanted her, I would have never settled for "just friends". I would have been macking her from the get-go.

The only way to get out of a "friends zone" is if SHE wants you first.

Click to expand...

I think I know what you are trying to say, but I think it's coming out wrong.

If a woman is attracted to, she will remain attracted to you so long as she sees you as a MAN. The second you prove yourself unworthy of your masculine identity, her IL will drop. When it drops below a certain point, there's no getting it back.

You are correct. The only way to get out of the friend zone is if you were never there to begin with. If there isn't at least a spark of attraction to begin with you're dead in the water. You can't TALK a woman into liking you.

But the reason why it isn't advisable to try to get out of the friend zone is because chances are even though there might be a small spark, it doesn't have enough heat to generate a fire.

As with anything I think it's important to note that this isn't a black and white thing. there is some grey area. But for all intents and purposes, it is wise to "resolve intimacy issues" with a woman up front, as Rollo T would put it. Most guys can't handle hovering in that grey area. It works for me personally, but only now that I have a really good grasp of how male/female relations work and I am able to look at everything objectively.

Latinoman said:

Listen...it is a WASTE of time. Here is the thing...even if you manage to get out...you will NEVER be "safe". Do you know why? My experience is that the women that have lasted long time with me and have wanted to have a future with me have been the women that experienced that CHEMICAL reaction when they first met me or interacted with me.

You cannot negotiate that chemical reaction. And the chances of some other man taking your place are VERY high if you come from the "Friend Zone" to a relationship.

The effort is NOT worthy.

Click to expand...

This is well-stated and good advice. The best friend zone advice is to never go there in the first place.

The one exception I can think of is if you are using the "friendship" as a launching pad to meet and bed other women. This is about the only non-afc way to be friends with at least most women. Also, when the "friend" sees you doing this, you stand a good chance of generating that chemical reaction that Latinoman is talking about. Anything else is trying to negotiate chemistry, which I agree is a waste of time.

edger said:

How hard is it to get out of the "friend zone" after you've shown a woman that you are no longer an AFC,

Click to expand...

Your question is like who came first the chicken or the egg???

If you are no longer AFC, then women shouldn't be putting you in the "official friendzone" (meaning that you will never ever hit that). Look you can't attract all the women in this world you meet, no one can and therefore even if you are a suave DJ, some women will not be attracted to you and will reject you and banish you the Friend... cough (jail)... zone. Then there are those women who will say you are their friend but deep down still want you to fvck them and at this point you should and this is the ideal situation for a man to be. Not her personal comedian/ therapist job you will be undertaking if you become her "friend".

Make it simple on yourself. If you hit on a woman and she does not reciprocate then move on and pay no attention to the "we can be friends" bvllsh1t because it will give you hope and can potentially sabtaoge your hookup with other women who might be interested in you.

Latinoman said:

Listen...it is a WASTE of time. Here is the thing...even if you manage to get out...you will NEVER be "safe". Do you know why? My experience is that the women that have lasted long time with me and have wanted to have a future with me have been the women that experienced that CHEMICAL reaction when they first met me or interacted with me.

You cannot negotiate that chemical reaction. And the chances of some other man taking your place are VERY high if you come from the "Friend Zone" to a relationship.

The effort is NOT worthy.

Click to expand...

This is great advise.

The best way to keep from being "friendzoned", is to "friendzone" women yourself.

YOU decide if she is worthy of a relationship, short-term fling, friend, or to be nexted.

Don't waste time with women with low IL, unless you, honestly view her as just a friend. That is, until she shows up in your bed naked..

i just had this talk with some girl i have been chatting with on im. perhaps i should have walked awhile ago but it worked for my circumstance. i found out she had a bf so i told her i didnt waste my time talking to girls with bf. she tells me we will be nothing more than friends...ever. so i was like ok bye. she didnt walk away we go in circles about the bf a few times then she breaks out " i do like you ok. i like you so much i am afriad i will like yuo too much thats why i wont meet you. i am moving to la in may and i am afraid i wont move because of you."

i was like what? told her iw asnt about to move across the country on a whim but i am not anchored to where i am. i jokinly told her she may hate me by halloween or i may learn to love the dodgers. anyway she told me she needed to think about things and we would talk. she imed me the other day saying hi at 4 am. i responded like later that night it was a werid talk...seemed strained thne she imed me the next day to say i didnt get it. we talked sorta on im today for like a minute then she had to go.


i would say the proof is in her actions that she thought about things and rather just not take a chance of missing la. whatever. the thing i learned from this is that if a girl wants to try to define or limit u as a friend...dont stand for that. tell her what you want. if she doesnt want it too then leave rather than sit around and get ur heart ripped out.

I have recently reconnected with an old friend from high school. The last time she saw me was about 5-6 years ago when I was in the raging depths of AFCism (one chick can ruin your life when you have AFC tendencies). We have gone out a couple times since meeting up again, and she has told me how much I have changed (for the better of course, no thanks to sosuave). I've applied a heavy and consistent dose of kino, combined with blatent innuendo, c/f storytelling, and qualifying to bring our relationship out of the friend zone and into the sexual realm. She sees me now as someone who has their sh1t together, is sexual, and that my happiness is not dependent on a woman. I'm on track to f-close our next date this weekend.

It can be done. Not to say it's easy, but it can be done if you play your cards right. I think the qualifying stage is of ultimate importance in this instance. Good luck to you sir.