As mentioned before, if you're comfy with each other, it shouldn't be hard to ask. I find it amusing that people will give oral, but won't ask to shave? Not ripping on you, but just the thought of it all is amusing.
In my experience, I've successfully had every girl change their "look", I just made it part of the sex. As mentioned before, doing it together is a great way to break the ice. I've let a girl shave me down, then reciprocated. The sex after that is amazing, so smooth. However, the next day, the stuble is the worst thing in the world.
HINT: Watch "the vagina monolouges". Seriously, it's not that bad, some of it is funny. This is how most women identify with their vaginas, so it's good to get their perspective. The reason I bring this up, is that one of the mono's is on a woman that dated a guy that was in love with her vagina. He stared at it for five minutes before they had sex, etc...
Well, this is sort of like me, so in that context, it is easy for me to compliment them, "you have the sexiest vagina I've ever seen. No seriously, the way that this folds here, etc..." I know it sounds funny, but if you are serious about it, women eat it up. After that, you just say matter of factly, "I want to see you as you are."
To which they will reply, what do you mean?
"I want to shave you"
"I'm serious. You look so sexy, I have to see what you look like bare."
Just work those lines, women aren't as uptight about it as you might think.