I think I'm gonna start playing the game like a chick

I'm sure most of you read the thread about dating a you don't have much interest in, and today I started thinking about how women are when it comes to stuff like this.

What really got me thinking about this is the fact that there is this chick who likes me. I'm definitely attracted to her on a physical level, but on a rational level I know it would never work out between us. So what am I going to do? I want to fukk her and wouldn't mind hanging out, but every sign I see points to her wanting a lot more than I do and she probably doesn't realize that we are just not that compatible.

See, for most of my life I've always been way too considerate of other people's feelings, so I haven't been one to date girls I knew I would get tired of easily, or use them for sex, or whatever. But when you think about it, women do this sh!t all the time. Maybe they aren't using you for sex (with them it might be more for the companionship or elevated social status), but rest assured that most women have no qualms about stringing multiple guys along, serving whatever personal agenda they have at the time.

From now on I say, "Fukk it!". What's good for them is good for me. I'm tired f playing by a different set of rules.

If I'm so-so about a chick (which I am about a couple at this moment) who cares? I'm gonna get what I want out of it, and if it doesn't work out a few weeks later, bye bye.

Dating one and see another that I like better? Sorry honey, you are now second string.

It's ridiculous to try to play fair. The other side isn't looking out for you, especially in the beginning, so why should you be looking out for them?

Man do whatever you feel like doing and don't feel guilty about it. No offense but you seem like someone who is very confused about woman and life.


Your a man indulge in your fantasies. Its not like these girls are virgins. If there not screwing you than they are going to be screwing someone else. Fill your animal desires your not 16 anymore. Be a man!!

Quit asking us what I should do? The answer is with in you.


Ps... Do you ever actually get laid with any of the chicks your talking about it? No flame intended it justs seems like you have the opportunites are being way too passive.

I didn't ask a question, I made a statement.

No, I am not confused about women. I feel I have a VERY good grasp of how things work.

My problem is that I have broken myself out of the nice guy routine, but I am still way too respectful of other people's feelings to the point that i avoid situations that benefit me at the expense of others.

Do I get laid? Yes, but not as much as I would like.

See, there's part of the problem. I have never been the "fukk 'em and leave 'em" type. The other part of the problem is that I don't have it in me to deal with the negative ramifications of getting too involved with anyone. But the more I look at things the more I see that I just need to be taking advantage of short term opportunities regardless of the consequences.

I am just seeing that every time I get screwed the other person seems to come out ahead, and I am thinking I need to change my tactics to get what I want instead of making sure everyone else is ok.

thickandcreamy said:

If you were so sure of what you were doing, you wouldn't be posting on a forum where people could post their feedback. You would just do it.

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Yeah that's what I thought too. Listen Str8tup, take 2 weeks away from SoSuave, I'm beginning to see a some sort of craziness in the past couple weeks from your posts. Take 2 weeks, that's all.

just be careful about that attitude. it will work fine for getting laid, but be careful you don't turn in to the type of guy that a high quality woman would want nothing to do with.

you see, attitude changes can be dangerous. what at first we adopt similar as an act or strategy can quickly become our defined reality. before you know it you've lost the very thing that would have caught you that high quality woman.

anyway, i've rarely seen it in life wherein sinking to someone elses level actually gets you ahead. i mean, based on your logic if someone robs i should feel justified robbing someone else. or if someone gets ahead in teh corporate world by being a weasel then i should be a weasel.

do whatever you want, its your life. just be careful about opening too much of pandora's box or you might find yourself being the very thing you despise.

joekerr31...I want to say that you have grown so much since you first started posting. The maturity level you have acquired really is outstanding. I'm really glad to see that because there was a time that I was really concerned that you were going to end up being stuck in a very negative and bad place.

Just want to give props where props are due...

Okay...carry on.

STR8UP said:

I didn't ask a question, I made a statement.

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Yes, your right. I apologize.

No, I am not confused about women. I feel I have a VERY good grasp of how things work.

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If you had a good grasp you would not ask us questions such as she showed me her pu$$y. What should I do?

Or a question like I am at a party and 10 girls are interested. Which one do I go for?

My problem is that I have broken myself out of the nice guy routine, but I am still way too respectful of other people's feelings to the point that i avoid situations that benefit me at the expense of others.

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Nice guy= Me be respectful=LJBF=No Pu$$y=AFC

I am just seeing that every time I get screwed the other person seems to come out ahead, and I am thinking I need to change my tactics to get what I want instead of making sure everyone else is ok.

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[/QUOTE]
Quit being Peter pan. Grow a set. Be a Man.

Hum…so you are basically saying you don’t want to care for them any more.

Ha Ha, you can’t not be what you are.

Postscript: Caring is a good thing, No?

STR8UP said:

...It's ridiculous to try to play fair...

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I've thought that knowing the rules of the game would allow you to play fair? But then again, it would depend on one's definition of the word.

STR8UP said:

but every sign I see points to her wanting a lot more than I do and she probably doesn't realize that we are just not that compatible.

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then as soon as she mentions anything resembling "a lot more" you tell her exactly the way it is, and the truth is that your confident rejection will probably just drive up her interest level, at which point you can do whatever you want with her.

that's NOT how a chick would play the game. and it's completely fair. you give her exactly what she's looking, except the parts you can't, and you tell her straight why you can't/won't. she eats it up and comes back looking for more. which you give -- if you so choose.

thickandcreamy said:

If you were so sure of what you were doing, you wouldn't be posting on a forum where people could post their feedback. You would just do it.

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I disagree. I said I have a good grasp of how things work. Everyone has strengths and weaknesses. I come here mainly because this kind of stuff fascinates me and I like to DISCUSS it. I'm gonna do what I'm gonna do, but I like getting other POV's as well.

I can relate to this, I know exactly where you are coming from str8up.

I once took this attitude after a very bad break up but there were no rewards in it for me, there is a chance you can lose yourself as joekeer states. It also takes a hell of a long time to re-discover who you were aswell.

I still resort back to this attitude in a way everytime i come out of a LTR, i go out and enjoy myself, I sleep with women i know would not be in of any interest long term, but i make sure they know. Aslong as they are cool with it i am.

Mindtrust.

joekerr31 said:

just be careful about that attitude. it will work fine for getting laid, but be careful you don't turn in to the type of guy that a high quality woman would want nothing to do with.

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Wise words.

See, I've had a cynical attitude towards women for years now. As I said, I got out of the nice guy routine quite a while ago, but I'm still way too considerate of the situation I am putting the other person into.

You and others talk about the elusive "quality" woman. What are we talking, 5%? 3%, 1% of the population? Those aren't good odds. So what do you do? Become a hermit until the right one comes along?

I want to have fun and get laid just as much as the next guy, but there seems to be no middle ground. You mess around with a chick, and she wants a relationship. If she isn't a "quality" woman, you KNOW you aren't gonna marry her. I need to stop being so concerned about the consequences of tomorrow and have fun TODAY.

So you meet a chick and she wants to have someone around she can call her "boyfriend". You don't really care to go that route for one reason or another, most of the time because she isn't up to your standards of "quality". Let her go and miss out on some fun?

It's just that I keep saying to myself "All I want is a fukk buddy, or a casual relationship, no more" but we all know it just doesn't work that way with women. That would be like having your cake and eating it too. Now I have one who shows super high interest in me (almost TOO high), and I think she's pretty damn hot, but I know it would never work out. She WANTS me too fukk her, but I can tell she also wants a guy she can call her b/f, and I'm not feelin that right now.

So what do you do in a situation like this? I am finally at a point in my life when I am conscious of a lot of things I used to be oblivious to that trigger my spidey sense telling me to run the other way, but I want some a$$ and a little companionship, dammit!

you see, attitude changes can be dangerous. what at first we adopt similar as an act or strategy can quickly become our defined reality. before you know it you've lost the very thing that would have caught you that high quality woman.

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I'm not talking about doing anything too drastic, but I have to change up my M.O. if I am going to get any kind of enjoyment fromthe female species cause it's getting WAY easier to attract numerous women, but I doubt that it's never going to get easier to attract the good ones

anyway, i've rarely seen it in life wherein sinking to someone elses level actually gets you ahead. i mean, based on your logic if someone robs i should feel justified robbing someone else. or if someone gets ahead in teh corporate world by being a weasel then i should be a weasel.

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I don't really see it that way. The way I see it, I feel as if I have been cheated out of a lot because I don't play the game the way other people do. I'm just playing catch up.

Really, when they say "All is fair in love and war" they aren't blowing smoke up your a$$. It's true. With some things in life you have to get down and dirty in order to get what you deserve. That's all I'm talking about.

do whatever you want, its your life. just be careful about opening too much of pandora's box or you might find yourself being the very thing you despise.

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I hear ya, but I do feel it's time to make a few changes. My life is pretty stressful on the business end of things, and I would defintely benefit from some female company right now. I just don't have what it takes to build and maintain a relationship with anyone right now. And like I said, women isn't the problem. It's finding decent ones thats the challenge. I just need to find a better way of getting myself through the times when there aren't any decent ones around.

If you had a good grasp you would not ask us questions such as she showed me her pu$$y. What should I do?

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No, I asked others what they would do if they were put in that position. My mind was pretty much made up that I would feel it out and proceed from there.

Or a question like I am at a party and 10 girls are interested. Which one do I go for?

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Some of you are completely misreading my posts.

That post wasn't about "which one to go for", it was about how to run game on multiple women who are interested in you who happen to be in the same room at the same time. I've never been good at juggling multiple women outside of this kind of a situation let alone when they are all together.

I claim to have a good grasp on how things work but I will be the first to admit my weaknesses and the fact that I don't know it all.

Nice guy= Me be respectful=LJBF=No Pu$$y=AFC

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There's a difference between being too nice and being too respectful.

Trust me, the friend zone isn't a problem here. Somehow I manage to avoid that most of the time these days. And the no pu$$y deal...I have admitted to not having a lot of sex lately, but it has been for reasons other than the fact that I can't get any. And that's what I'm about to change.

grinder said:

Hum…so you are basically saying you don’t want to care for them any more.

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No, I'm saying that (as my life allows) I am going to have fun with whomever I want regardless of the fact of me knowing it won't ever go anywhere. Have fun and enjoy it for what it is.

Throttle said:

then as soon as she mentions anything resembling "a lot more" you tell her exactly the way it is, and the truth is that your confident rejection will probably just drive up her interest level, at which point you can do whatever you want with her.

that's NOT how a chick would play the game. and it's completely fair. you give her exactly what she's looking, except the parts you can't, and you tell her straight why you can't/won't. she eats it up and comes back looking for more. which you give -- if you so choose.

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You're right...that isn't how a chick would play it. I don't have a problem with making the disclaimer. I will STILL be the a$$hole when the sh!t hits the fan, but whatever, at least I can't blame myself, it's all about her warped perspective.

thickandcreamy said:

Not really. If you did, you wouldn't be proposing a wholesale change in how you deal with women:

"From now on I say, "Fukk it!". What's good for them is good for me. I'm tired f playing by a different set of rules."

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I don't see how one has anything to do with the other.

The reality is, you are still very conflicted. Your first step is to clarify what your goals are. Being a less sensitive person and avoiding "playing fair" sound like very poor goals (i.e., not very specific and negative). Create a more specific and positive goal and your odds of success will be higher.

Anyway, I predict that because of your sensitive nature, you will continue to argue and disagree with anyone who posts.

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Maybe my initial post came off a little harsh. All I'm really talking about here is the fact that I am going to start taking advantage of opportunities that are in front of me that in the past I wouldn't have due to the fact that I know they aren't going to go anywhere.

STR8UP said:

It's finding decent ones thats the challenge. I just need to find a better way of getting myself through the times when there aren't any decent ones around.

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This is my biggest weakness, I started to act on this about a year ago.

Can't expect to sit around and let fun go begging until a "quality" women comes along.

Im into it all these days and why not, this is what being single is all about!

So long as i have a physical attraction with a woman, im there on all accounts.. Even though i know there is no long term future.

If she is cool with it, then so am I.

Mindtrust

Mindtrust said:

I still resort back to this attitude in a way everytime i come out of a LTR, i go out and enjoy myself, I sleep with women i know would not be in of any interest long term, but i make sure they know. Aslong as they are cool with it i am.

Mindtrust.

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That's really what it comes down to, giving them the heads up so YOU know that you aren't the bad guy. It doesn't really matter cause like I said, even if you make your intentions clear up front you will still get blamed for everything when the relationship is on the rocks, but oh well.....

STR8UP said:

That's really what it comes down to, giving them the heads up so YOU know that you aren't the bad guy. It doesn't really matter cause like I said, even if you make your intentions clear up front you will still get blamed for everything when the relationship is on the rocks, but oh well.....

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In this situation, I remind them of exactly what we are.. Nothing.

Remind them you are not looking long term in anyway, they will make there own decision if they want to stick around or not.

If they go then fine.. But it was fun while it lasted.

Anything has to be better than nothing eh? So long as there is an attraction, I wouldn't sleep with anyone though.

Mindtrust