Would you agree that introverted people are less attractive than extroverted?

I am an introvert, I admit it, but I don't want to be this way. Can I de-program myself or is it in my nature and something I will have to deal with and fight?

Same here, here's a suggestion from someone who did fake being an extrovert: It's a waste of time. Be yourself. You only fight it if you think it's an issue, it isn't really. Sure, extroverts get to have sex...3-5 times more than an introvert but it doesn't mean they're great. Probably at communicating they're good, but here's a list of Hollywood roles who are introverts vs extroverts:

Introvert:

James Bond character
Clint Eastwood Cowboy characters
Spiderman

Extrovert:

Tom Cruise character in Mission Impossible
Dr. Evil/Austin Powers
Wolverine

Note the differences in how each of these characters interact.

Not less attractive, ever heard of the strong quiet type? Women love that. But you're as attractive as you think you are. Being an introvert is not so bad anyways, extroverts often come up as fools.

Depends on the severity.

No one likes extremes of either

I'm an introvert to - I'm pretty sure I even have Avoidant Personality Disorder (in a mild form I think).

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Avoidant_personality_disorder

Women do like introverts because (in my experience) they think deeper about issues, aren't concerned with impressing everyone and can focus on hobbies or other things with out being distracted about wanting to go socialise all the time.

it depends on if you are being yourself or are you playing a role.

I'm probably the most introverted person you will ever met. Growing up an only child, raised by a single mother who worked out of town 4 nights a week.. you get used to being by yourself. To this day I still need my "me" time.

However I have no problem socializing when I have to, I can be pretty fun to be around. But at the same time, if I had a PERFRENCE, usually it's to be alone or by myself.

Most women I talk to say the same thing, that I come off as arrogant because I don't speak to people. let them think that. just because you have tits and nice legs doesn't mean I'm going to spill my entire life story to you.

I think introverted men who are on top of thier game can drive a woman insane because she can't figure HIM out. I've experienced that as well... a woman literarly letting me do whatever I wanted to her just so she can get an idea of what I really thought about her.

on the same note, an exterverted person would have better luck at say, a club than I would. I get out and dance, but If you see me in a club, it's not to look for anyone else, it's literary to unwind. I can be pretty funny, but I'm more reserved than an extervted person, who might me more of the life of the party so to speak. But that's not my personality so I don't try to portray that

I think introversion is something that largely stays with you throughout life. However, within a certain range, there IS stuff you can improve on (if extraversion is considered an "improvement").

I was always mildly introverted, which wasn't helped by growing up an only child. I always had plenty of friends, but I used to always spend a lot of time alone anyway.

As I matured, I came to PREFER being around people, to the point where I really disliked being alone. I wanted to talk, to laugh, to do stuff with others.

However, a few things changed about in my life, and I found myself knowing far less people, and my introversion came to the fore again, and I went back to my old ways.

Now that I'm trying to improve my social life, I find I'm having to go through the same process of "improving" all over again.

However, I'll say this. Introversion and confidence are two different things. It might be a bit uncommon to come across confident introverts, but they tend to be very interesting people when you do find them. Moments when their confidence rises to the fore can take you by surprise, because quietness is so often associated with shyness.

Everybody is an introvert and everybody is an extrovert, there's no such thing as one extreme. Stay away from the titles that some other people might have given to you.

Nobody is quiet and laid back all the time, and nobody is loud and wild all the time either, there's a time for this and a time for that.

However, being an introvert or an extrovert has nothing to do with having success with women.

There's two main types of women today, the fvck partners and the great relationship partners.

The fvck partners really are just hanging out, looking for a good time and not really trying to take everything so seriously. They love positivity, high sexuality, high energy, and just enjoying one's self and life.

The relationship partners love men that have a great sense of self, because they want to use their talents to help nurture that man to assist him in becoming, and I hate to sound like the Army, but "All He Can Be."

So basically what I'm saying is this. To have success with women means you:

- Need a strong sense of self. That's means you need to learn and understand more about you and your soul, and begin to live your life from the inside out, not the outside in....that is, live through your soul.

- Love sexuality. That is, keep a sexual mindset, for sexual state is nothing but a sexual mindset. Where the mind goes, the body follows. When you have this mindset, you non verbally move and behave with your body, voice tone, personality, etc., in ways that make the woman feel very comfortable, sexy, and horny.

- Love life. Why? Because anybody who told you that life wasn't a ball of fun was misinformed. Life is like puzzle, everything fits together to make everything whole and enjoyable, but you have to take some time and figure out where the pieces go, once you learn how to do that...life becomes a piece of cake. People that hate life, haven't figured it out yet.

- Think positive. The only way you can think positive, is to think good thoughts. Yes, it doesn't matter where you are currently, think about where you want to be, think about accomplishments you have had, anything positive. What happens is this makes you feel more positive, this energy vibes to others, and your relationships become much more stronger, because people want to be around people that make them feel good.

This in a sense, is all you really need to get women, you shouldn't have any problems with women with these things. Stop analysing everything....again, life is a puzzle, you don't have to understand why all the pieces fit like they do, just put the damn piece in it's place! When you are a bit older, you will understand why that piece went there and wouldn't go over there, it will all make sense. But for right now.....we got a life to live.

- DJF

Hitman10000 said:

Same here, here's a suggestion from someone who did fake being an extrovert: It's a waste of time. Be yourself. You only fight it if you think it's an issue, it isn't really. Sure, extroverts get to have sex...3-5 times more than an introvert but it doesn't mean they're great. Probably at communicating they're good, but here's a list of Hollywood roles who are introverts vs extroverts:

Introvert:

James Bond character
Clint Eastwood Cowboy characters
Spiderman

Extrovert:

Tom Cruise character in Mission Impossible
Dr. Evil/Austin Powers
Wolverine

Note the differences in how each of these characters interact.

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First of all, you never use fictional characters to illustrate a point about a person being an introvert or an extrovert. They are fiction. They are not real.

Second of all, it is the extroverts that will succeed the most in the game. I never said that extroverts are more attractive. I just said that extroverts are the more successful of the bunch, because they acknowledge the importance of the approach. You cannot base your game on fate, and hope that the girl will approach you. Rather, the heart of the extrovert is based on spreading out his social influence upon all that he can see. Whereas the introvert does not have as much chances or as much attempts as he keeps his thoughts and actions to himself. In the game of women, it is the bold who succeeds. And contrary to popular belief, it is not the man of mystery that succeeds, but rather the man who can play with a woman's heart and color his conversations with emotion, passion, rapport, comfort, warmth and feeling.

...are you an introvert if you really open up once you get to know someone?

It definitely doesn't make you less attractive to be introverted. I've tried and failed many times to 'correct' my introversion. If anything makes you less attractive it's forcing something that isn't there and coming off as disingenuous.

A shy person may avoid meeting new people and be more comfortable in his shell. This doesn't mean he's introverted. and also, if you are not satisfied with how much outgoing you are, then you are NOT as introverted as you think. a really introverted person is content with how he is. he just doesn't need company. like if someone is not hungry, he won't complain that there's no food. if you think you need to meet more people than you currently are meeting, then you're not introvert, probabely just shy. its a paradox do both be introvert and need more company. you're just used to remain inside yourself because this way its more safe.

yes,it's annoying and childish.

Introverted are definitely not less attractive people. The thing is, most people don't even know what introverted and extroverted really mean. They just think shy vs popular.

Tha Realnezz said:

yes,it's annoying and childish.

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What does this even mean?

lyamdb said:

A shy person may avoid meeting new people and be more comfortable in his shell. This doesn't mean he's introverted. and also, if you are not satisfied with how much outgoing you are, then you are NOT as introverted as you think. a really introverted person is content with how he is. he just doesn't need company. like if someone is not hungry, he won't complain that there's no food. if you think you need to meet more people than you currently are meeting, then you're not introvert, probabely just shy. its a paradox do both be introvert and need more company. you're just used to remain inside yourself because this way its more safe.

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This is so true. It's the difference between being shy and being introverted. An introvert is someone who's comfortable and content with not being the center of attention and likes having a lot of time to themself. If someone is just quiet and shy and doesn't have a lot of friends but wishes they were more outgoing and is unhappy with the way he is, then he's not necessarily introverted. He's probably dealing with social anxiety or something. He's not in congruence with what makes him happy and comfortable, and therefore is not necessarily introverted.

It doesn't really have anything to do with being able to approach people. An introvert can be talkative and social and be able to turn to a girl at the bar and start talking to her. Being extroverted is more about craving other people's attention....having to be the center of attention and being uncomfortable with having to be on your own. You could almost call them attention wh0res. The real definition of introversion and extroversion is about the way people think- extroverted people tend to be more spontaneous and off the cuff and don't think things through as much, where as introverted people tend to internalize things on their own a lot more.

In that way, true introverted people can come off as more attractive than true extroverted people. The interesting, mysterious guys that girls "can't quite figure out" and who don't bombard them with attention are more often than not introverts. Has nothing to do with whether or not they can "approach". The extroverted guy will probably get laid more because he works at it a lot harder, but that doesn't necessarily make him more attractive. If you're one of those people who think a guy's attractiveness is directly related to the number of women he's publically known to have slept with, then maybe you won't understand that.

So....yeah. Most people don't know what the hell introverted and extroverted mean.

Extroversion is an extreme that is not identified with high status people. Usually, overly extroverted people have no sense of self worth and seek validation by socializing with everyone and not creating an aura of power and mystery. Women hate this. One needs to create an aura of power and respect and give respect to like minded powerful individuals.

Introversion is another extreme that can play against you if you have poor style, no looks, etc. However, if you have some form of style, good looking, etc. a confident introvert mindset can gain you much popularity with women since you deem yourself the 'prize'. However, most extreme cases of introversion is due to a lack of self-confidence and self-esteem issues. The key is to gain self-confidence and validation through oneself (you must truly master this) and interact with others sparingly and stick close to a few good friends.

I love Hyori Lee said:

First of all, you never use fictional characters to illustrate a point about a person being an introvert or an extrovert. They are fiction. They are not real.

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Actually I have been compared by two of those fictional introverted characters by women. So..hm...

Second of all, it is the extroverts that will succeed the most in the game. I never said that extroverts are more attractive. I just said that extroverts are the more successful of the bunch, because they acknowledge the importance of the approach. You cannot base your game on fate, and hope that the girl will approach you. Rather, the heart of the extrovert is based on spreading out his social influence upon all that he can see. Whereas the introvert does not have as much chances or as much attempts as he keeps his thoughts and actions to himself. In the game of women, it is the bold who succeeds. And contrary to popular belief, it is not the man of mystery that succeeds, but rather the man who can play with a woman's heart and color his conversations with emotion, passion, rapport, comfort, warmth and feeling.

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Depends on what kind of women you are talking about. Extroverted people will definitely win club women and attention *****s because introverted people won't give attention to them, or never been bothered of approaching them (but they can approach them if they want to). Extroverted people can be described as man-***** if done too much.

Whether you are introverted or extraverted shouldn't affect your confidence or your game. Intro/Extra is just your personality, not at all your confidence level.

I was under the impression that introverts were shy people and extro were outgoing. If I am right then I agree.

Introverts are not defined as shy people. Shy people are defined as shy people.

Hey Reaper,

I am an introvert, I admit it, but I don't want to be this way. Can I de-program myself or is it in my nature and something I will have to deal with and fight?

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check out my journal (signature link). Maybe doing the same thing can help you, too?

Same here, here's a suggestion from someone who did fake being an extrovert: It's a waste of time. Be yourself. You only fight it if you think it's an issue, it isn't really.

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I don't think somebody trying to change their introverted ways into becoming more extrovert/outgoing is trying to "fake" it. I see it like this:

If I can learn to approach girls with confidence, that is a great thing. And very real in my opinion. Ive already gotten used to saying hello to randomg people on the street. And in that regard I really have become a bit more extroverted and Im very glad about that (I hope Im gonna get the rest down, too). Telling myself "Im a real introvert, Im just not into approaching girls, its just not my thing" would be nothing but an excuse, because it's harder for myself to do it than for most.

However, I can still be an "introvert" and spend more time alone than other people do. If I tried to stop spending time alone, watching a DVD alone chilling in my bed..as I just enjoy being lonely from time to time..having nobody bother me or having to make compromises with other people (what tv channel to watch..what music to listen to). If i tried to change that and spend all my freetime with people around me and only sleep alone....THAT would be fake and wouldnt make me happy.

However, I bet the Reaper's main concern is not being able to approach women as he's an introvert..that's nothing but an obstacle which I think can be overcome.

P.S.: Other than the approaching part, I dont really think being an introverted type of guy is a big problem...at least Ive never had a problem with it..the only thing is really just the approaching part, which is a huge problem, though.

I was under the impression that introverts were shy people and extro were outgoing. If I am right then I agree.

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Introverts are not defined as shy people. Shy people are defined as shy people.

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You are right, there's a difference between shy and introverted.
Shy = just "shy".

Introverted: prefers to have time to himself instead of hanging around other people all the time. Whereas extroverted people love to be around other people all the time.

I like being around other people (if Im never around them im just plain bored after a while), but I spend a lot of time alone and want time for myself. I could never live in a share house for example. My sister, an extrovert, however is like "I would feel so bored not living with other people!", whereas I definitely prefer being able to come home after hanging out with friends and be there all alone without anyone distracting me. You know those people who always wanna be among people all the time, right?;-)

However, I think there's a HUGE correlation between the two, as basically all shy people I know are usually introverts..and all introverted people I know are also shy.