You really don’t have to be all that Suave

[grinder]

Besides the fact that a disturbingly large number of guys are actually as scared as little girls of cold approaching beautiful women, the other secret I have recently discovered is: You can basically suck as a DJ and still get digits from women.

Anybody else notice this?

Almost 100% of the time I do or have approaches “happen” I am by myself. And since I have been pretty successful at keeping a steady flow of digits in the pipeline I assumed I was one suave DJ.

I was wrong.

Last week I had an old buddy visit and it was a good chance to get critiqued on my “ability” by a wingman.

His assessment was rather brutal. Lets see, I talk too high, like a girl, I use my hands way too much (he joked that this one girl’s head was going in circles watching my hands), I look awkward and uncomfortable, and my accent makes me sound stupid. I don’t dress that well, I make too many funny faces, and I don’t listen very well. And, of course, I’m OLD. Other than that I’m just great!

But somehow, someway, I managed to connect, make them laugh and walk away with digits.

My point is, we focus so much on being “perfect” in our approach that we forget the basics: that if you just put yourself there with her, do anything remotely interesting, and just go for the digit, you will more than likely get it.

I think we forget that for all practical purposes, if you have learned 2% of what’s on this site, you have no serious competition.

I write this as just yesterday I was visiting a Wal-Mart (usually a terrible place to meet women, well, with teeth, anyway) and I really did feel like sh*t. I had 0 interest in chatting with any woman. I was in line behind a hb7+ buying luggage. I had just barely enough energy to ask one question “Where ya goin?” and that’s all it took.

I’m curious to hear other’s success stories in which you had absolutely no reason to expect success.

[TheLadiesMan]

Just be yourself.

[edger]

Originally Posted by grinder

You can basically suck as a DJ and still get digits from women.

Anybody else notice this?

Absolutely. Having a chick give you her number or having a number exchange with her seriously has to be one of the easiest things in the world. A lot of guys think it's hard, and I don't know why. You'd really have to have bad, and I mean bad game or come off creepy for a chick to refuse to give you her number. In all my life, I've NEVER(and I'm not tryin' to brag) had a chick refuse to give me her number. Not that I can ever remember.

[edger]

You can basically suck as a DJ and get her to do anything(hang out, talk on the phone, call you back, etc.), EXCEPT for getting sexually intimate with her which would include anything from hand jobs to sexual intercourse itself. But then again there are the exception to the rule women who will still f*ck you even though your game sux. The truth of the matter is that ANYONE can get laid. It's a matter of getting laid on a consistent basis, and I'm talking weekly here, that truly shows you have good game.

[grinder]

Originally Posted by edger

You can basically suck as a DJ and get her to do anything(hang out, talk on the phone, call you back, etc.), EXCEPT for getting sexually intimate with her which would include anything from hand jobs to sexual intercourse itself. But then again there are the exception to the rule women who will still f*ck you even though your game sux. The truth of the matter is that ANYONE can get laid. It's a matter of getting laid on a consistent basis, and I'm talking weekly here, that truly shows you have good game.

Most threads on this forum do focus on those next steps, fvcking them, then keeping them around, then, obviously, the problems encountered with those.

But once you dig into the underlying problem of many of those threads you see they either stopped approaching, are dating serially, or are deadlocked on ONE singe chick.

90% of the problems in those threads can be solved simply by continuously having fresh new options.

If you’ve got options you don’t worry too much about sh*t tests.

If you’ve got options you either don’t get flaking or you truly, honestly don’t care.

Look around the forum, you don’t see many threads focusing on that crucial first step, the approach. And you know damn-well it’s not because everyone has “mastered” it.

It’s avoided like the plague. It’s the elephant in the room everyone ignores.

Because of the intense focus on “being suave” I think a common excuse for not approaching is the perceived difficulty of it. I’m showing you its not.

Approaching is so critical for so many reasons I can’t list them all. It is a universal for the PUA and those looking for LTR’s. We KNOW that the number of good women out there is very small and yet I see guys hung up on ONE or two all the time. Wasting months and months of their precious time going in circles on those few women.

If you are a prospector and you know there are 2, maybe 3 gold nuggets in this whole mountain of ore, you’d better fvckin get busy, because you’ll die or old age, or FAR WORSE, settle for some iron pyrite, if you don’t crank up the mill and start sifting lots of rocks.

[Crank_It_Up]

Originally Posted by grinder

...I’m curious to hear other’s success stories in which you had absolutely no reason to expect success.

agreed, amazing how many time things just seem work out when people just "go for it"

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally Posted by grinder

Besides the fact that a disturbingly large number of guys are actually as scared as little girls of cold approaching beautiful women, the other secret I have recently discovered is: You can basically suck as a DJ and still get digits from women. ...

This is true. However, whether or not the digits are actually hers is another thing altogether.

[vorbis]

a word of caution. I find it easy as well to get numbers, in most cases the numebrs are real as well. However if I haven't built a connection in the original approach, flakage is in the region of 4 in 5!!

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally Posted by vorbis

a word of caution. I find it easy as well to get numbers, in most cases the numebrs are real as well. However if I haven't built a connection in the original approach, flakage is in the region of 4 in 5!!

True. Numbers alone isn't a gauge of interest. Her getting together with you at a later date is a better sign.

[grinder]

Originally Posted by vorbis

a word of caution. I find it easy as well to get numbers, in most cases the numebrs are real as well. However if I haven't built a connection in the original approach, flakage is in the region of 4 in 5!!

You’ll get no argument from me on this. But we are talking apples and oranges.

I’m talking about that invisible barrier many have up that keeps them from that initial step, that critical step. I’m referring to those guys who seem to feel they are always about 2 seconds too late with a witty or cocky + funny comment to make to the girl, and never do it.

If you really think about it there are many variables to worry about: will she flake, will I get her interested/attracted, am I sexual, was that an IOI, how come she said that, and on and on.

You don’t want all this sh*t in your head when you walk up to a girl. We get too analytical here.

The average member here has read all this stuff on what you supposed to do. It’s already there: intellectually.

Too much stinkin thinkin! Cut it out!

When a batter steps up to the plate what is going to help him more: knowing the physics of Bernoulli’s principle in hitting curve balls or a thousand hours of batting practice?

[Last Man Standing]

Just approach otherwise you will never know - why exclude yourself - let her do it!

Does rejection hurt? Yes it does, but then the hurt of rejection will feel better than the feeling of wondering "What if?"!

The non-approach hurts as well - the difference is that the hurt is caused by you - but it is now your lack of effort/initiative that actually caused the hurt!!

[grinder]

Originally Posted by Holland

Both.
Experience doesn't equal skill.
The correct beliefs and information + (little) experience does.
I don't care how much digits you can get, unless that is your sole objective.
How many of them do you lay?
How many of them are quality women who you want to have a LTR with?
To me, that is a lot more important then how many digits you have collected.
Most women just give you BS, if they don't like you and don't want to waste their time with the confrontation of saying no.

Again, I’m not disagreeing with you.

I see your point would be something like; a batter knows he’s facing a fast ball throwing pitcher the next night. So before he takes batting practice he watches some film of that pitcher and takes practice from a fast-baller.

But, if he spent 90% of his time watching film and 10% taking practice he’s going to suck.

I personally am very good at grocery store cold approaches. I prepare for that and it becomes natural to me. As I walk in the store I rehearse in my head about 3 things and then I stop thinking completely and just do it.

When you read, re-read, and ruminate on the material here, and then what the guru’s or newsletters say you are watching too much film.

Here’s a sample SAT grammar question: You decide which one makes more sense.

Doing from learn.

Learn from doing.