How to tackle the club scene?

[Nicholas Hill]

Up till now I've been afraid to go into clubs and thought they were boring. I now want to improve some of my skills and I think maybe clubbing is the answer.

So if I go to a club alone one Saturday night in the UK...

• What should I expect?
  
• What should I do?
  
• How would I become more comfortable in the environment?
  
• How would I approach women?

PS: I'm about 5 posts away from the MDJ title. I am nowhere near a Master yet.

Thanks again,
Nick.

[This message has been edited by Nicholas Hill (edited 08-24-2002).]

[Ivan Drago]

Hope for the best and prepare for the worst.

[SomeGuy]

I was like you once. I thought the people in clubs were posers, boring, and just out to pull other of the other sex. Well, yeah they are, but in a different way than I though.

First of all, you should just go because you feel like it. I just order a drink and look at the people. Check out the things people are doing and how they dance. Try not to pick a dark corner somewhere; get out where people can see you. Eventually you might want to comment on something.

What should I expect?

Depends on the club, some are gay, some are quite good. Depends on the people. Generally they'll be drunk or tipsy. The music is loud. The prices are high.

What should I do?

Order a drink. Stand and look at the people. Strike up a conversation if you feel like it. When bored, go home. Later you can dance, chat up women, etc etc

How would I become more comfortable in the environment?

Drink a few beers. Don't stand in some dark corner (they're for chumps and people rolling joints or making out). Don't cross your arms http://www.sosuave.com/ubb/biggrin.gif

How would I approach women?

hmm, that's advanced. When I first started, I'd be all serious. Then I was a little looser. Then I asked them all sorts of questions and acted like a dork. Now I hardly bother picking them up directly. Just relaaaaaxxxx...

[loser-it]

just order some drinks and get buzzed first. dat helps you relax a lot! While you are ordering drinks, usually it takes a while, just look at the girls around you and make eye contact. If you see a girl dat looks at you as well, remember her face and find her later!

After you have a few drinks and are more relaxed. Just go onto the dance floor and move ur ass. If you see cuties you like, just go up there and dance with them. In the meantime, also try to look for the girl you made eye contact with earlier at the bar cuz dat's probably the best chance you got.

When you dance with a girl, try to get close to her or even hold her. Some girls are cool with dat and some push you away when you get too close. But it's all good since the ones dat push you away ain't interested. Some may even ignore you, but don't take it personally. Once you've danced with the girl for a while and she seems to have fun with you, just ask for the digits. Then leave and find another girl. You can try to talk to the girl while dancing, but it's really hard due the loud music. But, it also get you a chance to get really close to her since you'll basically be talking into her ears and you might as well lick it. hahaha. Just have fun.

Oh, DO NOT buy girls drinks. Trust me, they ditch you afterwards.

Originally posted by Nicholas Hill:
Up till now I've been afraid to go into clubs and thought they were boring. I now want to improve some of my skills and I think maybe clubbing is the answer.

So if I go to a club alone one Saturday night in the UK...

• What should I expect?
  
• What should I do?
  
• How would I become more comfortable in the environment?
  
• How would I approach women?

PS: I'm about 5 posts away from the MDJ title. I am nowhere near a Master yet.

Thanks again,
Nick.

[This message has been edited by Nicholas Hill (edited 08-24-2002).]

Mr. Hill,

While you are in the club, talk to as many people as possible. It doesn't matter who, just strike up conversations with as many people as you can. I don't care if you talk to ugly chicks, just practice starting conversations.

You also want to be extremely confident. Make sure to keep your shoulders back and keep your drink at waist level. Tell yourself that you can get any chick you want in the club. Have a mindset like "I'm the man".

If you talk to the same chick for more than 3 minutes go for her number.

If you get rejected, who care's. Remember, you're the man and you can get any woman you want.

[Nicholas Hill]

Originally posted by wheelin&dealin:
...You also want to be extremely confident. Make sure to keep your shoulders back and keep your drink at waist level..

Thanks everyone for responding. The above is good advice. Has anyoen else got any more tips, but especially concerning body posture, and how you carry yourself?



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\o/ No-one's unique, because everyone's unique. - Nicholas Hill
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/ \

[Canadian Idol]

I usually find that when I go to the clubs the best nights end up turning out to be the ones I went just to kick back and have a good time. Take a buddy or 2 the first couple times just to get used to the club scene. It's really not as bad as it looks and is quite fun.

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Remember, you learn from all your mistakes...

[studmuffin15]

excellent point on not standing around with ur arms folded.

in my experiences, it helps tremendously when u associate with people who like the club scene. if u go with them, u will prob feel more comfortable right off the bat.

i am a club person in general, but there are a few of my friends who arent, yet insist on going. so they stand around in the dark corners, with their arms folded, expressionless faces, and stand there like they have 10 lbs. of dookie in their pants. TOTAL TURNOFF!!! they r a huge liability to me bcuz i just dont wanna leave them there, yet at the same time, i will never pull any tail with them as my wingmen.

also>>> ALWAYS SMILE AND HAVE A PLEASANT LOOK ON UR FACE! even if ur not having fun or are uncomfortable, smile! trick people into making them think u r having fun! no woman wants to be with a guy who is a puss.

[sneaker]

Originally posted by studmuffin15:
also>>> ALWAYS SMILE AND HAVE A PLEASANT LOOK ON UR FACE! even if ur not having fun or are uncomfortable, smile! trick people into making them think u r having fun! no woman wants to be with a guy who is a puss.

if you are always smiling you will look like a retard who just bought a happy meal.

[Powertrip]

I don't care how good of a friend they are, if they have already let you down in the wing department, go alone. They don't have to be aggressive or even good with women, but if they sit there looking about as fun as a sack full of rocks, it'll kill your game.

My wingman and I have a routine where we'll just start talking to each other about stuff we've already gone over, just because it's either funny (which means we start smiling and laughing) or allows you to be really loud while telling the story.

One of two things will happen: Either someone will overhear you and add/ask about the story, or they'll see you laughing and assume you're having a really good time or are a funny guy yourself. You'll be magnetic.

Guys who sit in the corner with their arms crossed and a scowl on their faces don't get approached by beautiful women; guys who laugh, smile, and exude warmth will make friends in any situation.

It's a vicious cycle either way, which one do you want to be on?

[T Dog]

Wow, these guys have given you some great advice.

All recap what I like best...

loser-it
- DO NOT buy girls drinks. Trust me, they ditch you afterwards

So true

wheelin&dealin
-...talk to as many people as possible. It doesn't matter who, just strike up conversations with as many people as you can. I don't care if you talk to ugly chicks...

I do this too. When a girl sees you talking to everyone, she thinks you must be someone real popular. If you have all these friends (that's what she is thinking) then you MUST be someone worth knowing.

Canadian Idol
- best nights end up turning out to be the ones I went just to kick back and have a good time.

So true. If you go with an agenda (like I'm going to get laid tonight) it never works out. But when you go with the mindset, I'm here to have fun, great thinks happen. (You meet a new friend, get invite to an after hours party, you most likely will have a good time, or god forbid, you get laided.

studmuffin15
- ALWAYS SMILE

When you smile, girls look at you like and think, "what does he know that I don't that makes him smile all the time. I must find out."

That and it makes you look like you are having a good time. Even if you aren't.

The only thing I can add that hasn't been said already is.

Get drunk before you go!

I usually have a few friends meet me at my place for a few drinks before we go out. That way I am already feeling good when I get there and I spend less money.

One last thing, don't get too drunk. Be in control.

T Dog

[Lozz]

right i dunno if many of you guys are from the uk but thats not always the best way to approach it. The best idea is to begin with this:
Go out with a few mates - never go alone. Many girls see as being pathetic, trust me i've seen guys do it and they end up having a crappy night alone.
Have a few drinks and a laugh in your local pub before heading off to a club. You can build up your confidence and get psyched up.
When in the club take a look round and get a drink from the bar. Bout 5-10 minutes head to the dancefloor and strut your stuff. Most of the girls there will be looking to hook up, as well as probably 90% of the guys.
Ok now you see a girl you like. Give her a smile, maybe have a little chat, then dance with her - simple!
Most girls will like the confidence of guys who dance up behind them. This has been a success every time for me. Don't stay with her unless she insists on it. Just dance with as many girls as possible. If a girl is really into you you can take her to sit down for a bit and chat. And you can buy her a drink if you think things are going smoothly - she'll admire you for it.

After a while you may be able to ask for her number. Any rejections? who cares move on to the next girl.
Another thing, dont always go to a club hoping to pull a girl, you have to make it happen or it won't. sometimes you don't even have to try. One time i went to a club, sat down with my drink and a v.nice girl approached me, we got talking, we kissed, exchanged numbers and shortly after went out for three months.
Sometimes you'll be lucky others you have to work for, try both and you'll never lose.
Good luck!

[HULK_SMASH]

If I go out alone I keep the expectations low, just have a good time. I love noisy crowded environments so it's easy. It's easy to smile when you people watch, I always spot something funny going on in the crowd. What works for me when going alone is I time it to hit the clubs at 11PM or later, never earlier. By then they are at their peak...lines are down, people are already loose, etc. When striking up a convo with a girl I don't say I'm out alone, just got separated from my friends in the crowd, or something like that. Plus I will talk to girls or guys. Easy to do especially now that FOOTBALL SEASON IS RETURNING THANK GAWD!!!!

[STR8UP]

Dance, dance, dance your a$$ off. Be observant but don't pay attention to what other people think of you.

Whatever you do, for cryin out loud DON'T stand on the edge of the dance floor all night and watch everyone else have fun.

[studmuffin15]

i dont mean walking around with a PERPETUAL SMILE. obviously u will look weird.

the point is to have a relaxed, carefree facial expression and to smile when u talk to ur friends or other girls. laugh as much as possible. the whole point is that u want to look like u r having fun (even if u arent)! and that people with u r having fun! u may not realize this but girls will pick this up from a distance and will wonder why everyone or just u are so happy. either way, it creates MYSTERY and makes them think that they will have a good time in your company.

try that at a club one nite and see how easy it is to meet people. then go to another club some other time, stand there with a stone face, try to look all tense like u r takin a shyt, and see how easy interaction will be then!

smiling has nothing to do with retards and happy meals!

[Aiken_Drum]

When dancing with a girl, always get close & grind her. When she's getting hot, tease her, like you are going to kiss her & then you don't do it. Exhale into her ears, do all kind of crazy stuff.
Also, if you feel like slapping a girl in the butt, do it. I did it once VERY obviously, the girl didn't even turned around & some guys saw me & got myself some good wingmen for the night. At most, she'll slap you, don't worry http://www.sosuave.com/ubb/wink.gif .

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"In doing good, avoid notoriety; in doing evil, avoid self-awareness" Duncan Idaho, Mentat (Dune).

"I can imagine a perfect world, a world without hate, a world without war. Then I can imagine us attacking that world
because they'd never expect it." --Jack Handey's "Deep Thoughts"

[Komodo]

it all the depends on the club.Down here in miami the clubs are awesome and always filled with fine girls.If you go to a club make sure you dress fashionably and have a friend with you.I like having a wingman with me.of course goin out with a group of people
is fun too.I like goin in groups beacause I don't look like a loser.Bring a gimmick like a camcorder so you can interview girls and get their numbers.

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You can't please all of the people all of the time!

Originally posted by Komodo:
it all the depends on the club.Down here in miami the clubs are awesome and always filled with fine girls.

Have you been to Club Space? I heard that it's the best club in the country.

[SoSuave.com]

Moving to The Archive.

[Oscar Wilde]

Originally posted by wheelin&dealin
Have you been to Club Space? I heard that it's the best club in the country.

Funny you mentioned that place, but I have a set from DJ Tiesto playing there, and it is awesome - excellent 2 hour set (go to tranceaddict.com to dl it).

Osc.