Girlfriend Going Clubbing

foomee · Jul 6, 2006

So... last night my girlfriend informed me that she and three other friends are going to go to a club on Saturday. They want to find her friend Kelly a guy.
Now, from reading the forums here in the past and so on, I've realized that girls usually go to clubs to find a guy to hookup with. I don't want my girlfriend going there because of course she's gonna meet some guys there, and I don't want anything to happen. I do trust her, but still, things happen. She insists that they're just going there to find her friend Kelly a guy. Sooo what do you guys recommend I should do?

sexysuave · Jul 6, 2006

Tell her "have a great time hun" that's it. Now if this keeps happening, then maybe it's somethign to worry about. But as of now, just let it slide, no biggie. TONS of girls that have boyfriends go clubbing. Some of them really are unavailable, then again, there are some who cheat. So let it slide for now, and show no signs of concern.

PS. An ultimate thing to do would be to hook her friend up with a buddy of yours. just a thought.

speed dawg · Jul 6, 2006

QUIT BEING SO GOSHDAMN WHINY!!!! Btw, whatever happened to this same girl that went out getting hammered with her co-workers??? Same fukking story, huh? You STILL don't know what to do???

GET OFF HER CASE ABOUT IT!!! She's gonna do what she wants. If you can't handle it, send her down the road. I did a search on you, this isn't the first time this girl has played with your head. OPEN YOUR EYES.

Come on, man, you're better than this. Who cares if she meets other guys? If she cheats on you, she just saved you from a lot of misery. I have a feeling this girl won't keep you around much longer. Hopefully you're not acting this AFC around her.

Latinoman · Jul 6, 2006

Women that are in committed relationships do not go to nightclubs with SINGLE girlfriends to "find a man" for one of them.

Maybe you should do the same and tell her that you are going to a strip club for your friend or to a nightclub to find a girlfriend for your friend too.

vorbis · Jul 6, 2006

why not, surely you've met girls when out who have bfs. I've met plenty and only a few of them seemed up for cheating. You gotta have some trust.

NewMan · Jul 6, 2006

why not, surely you've met girls when out who have bfs. I've met plenty and only a few of them seemed up for cheating. You gotta have some trust.

Maybe not with you - but they're up for cheating non the less.

Personally I've hooked up with chicks at clubs/bars that have BF's. I'm not saying I've laid everyone (or got action for everyone)- but I have done on a number of occasions.

I also go out to Vegas a lot - and there is lot's of action to be had there. One time I even hooked up with a chick on her bachelorette weekend.

I'm only saying this, because I'm somewhat jaded when it comes to women going to clubs/bars with their single GF's.

last night my girlfriend

In my opinion at 19 your to young to have a GF and to be dealing with relationship issues. You should be having fun and getting laid - but without ties. At 19 you should not have restrictions. Enjoy your life.

Back to what can you do? nothing. You can't stop her going - and nor should you try. I would use this time to go out with your buddies - have fun.

xblitz44x · Jul 6, 2006

If she is going to cheat at a club then she will cheat after work, or with a guy she met at a restaurant, or at the mall... If you trust her then it means that you trust that no matter what, she won't cheat on you. Keeping her attached to your hip is not the answer. If there was no danger of her cheating then you'd have no problem with her going. I hate when guys don't "let" their girlfriends go to clubs because if that girl wanted to cheat she could do it outside of the club too.

I completely trust my fiancee and if her friends want to go out to a club and I don't feel like going, she's more than welcome to go without me.

tihash · Jul 7, 2006

Dude, why weren't you invited?

My girlfriend doesn't set foot in a bar or club without me. Not all girls are ok with that, and not all guys want that.

You are obviously bothered by this.

Ask why you weren't invited. Let us know what she says.

justsomeguy1984 · Jul 7, 2006

I know it's tough, but just let her go... But if she is going to do that, then you need to go out clubbing or to a bar or whatever on the same night (not the same place as her, obviously).

Whatever you do, don't make a big deal of it. Just act like you don't care.

Francisco d'Anconia · Jul 7, 2006

foomee said:
So... last night my girlfriend informed me that she and three other friends are going to go to a club on Saturday. They want to find her friend Kelly a guy.
Now, from reading the forums here in the past and so on, I've realized that girls usually go to clubs to find a guy to hookup with. I don't want my girlfriend going there because of course she's gonna meet some guys there, and I don't want anything to happen. I do trust her, but still, things happen. She insists that they're just going there to find her friend Kelly a guy. Sooo what do you guys recommend I should do?

Stop listening to the jealous, self conscious dweebs in the forum. Go hang out with your buds on Saturday and run some missions with a wing.

SELF-MASTERY · Jul 7, 2006

Who care's...

Either you trust her or not.

Truthfully, your only 19 and your 'serious' relationship isn't going to last the long haul anyway. Do what Francisco advised.

If it really bothers you tell her that it does, so that she can laugh at you and hook up with me when she comes to GA. JK

DJHoolahoop · Jul 7, 2006

tell her that if she's going to hook up with a guy there that the condition is that she has to bring you home a hot girl. and that it has to be a girl of quality, no wh*res or bar sl_ts.

PRMoon · Jul 7, 2006

If your girlfriend decides to club in vegas, kiss her good bye because I'm going to bang her

INXS · Jul 7, 2006

Latinoman said:
....
Maybe you should do the same and tell her that you are going to a strip club for your friend or to a nightclub to find a girlfriend for your friend too.

I know this seems harsh, but I think this is a good suggestion, I mean the two are about equal (more or less).

This problem goes deeper than just the dancing. What it really means (imo) is that even though something makes you uncomfortable, your girlfriend goes ahead and disregards your feelings and does it. Your feelings should matter!

If this keeps happening, or things like this happen here is something to think about:

Do you really want a relationship where your girlfriend is going to do something that she knows you are uncomfortable with?

That is for you to decide in the end. However, if it keeps happening it speaks volumes about the relationship if she disregards your feelings on things.

jonwon · Jul 7, 2006

Man get a grip here, she is going out clubbing so what, to hook a friend up.

What the big deal.

Tell her to have fun, ring your mates and you go out too.

If she catches you chatting up girls say "just trying to set my mate up".

Stop worrying this is a golden ticket to go do some of your own stuff.

Tomatoes · Jul 7, 2006

LET HER GO. Just say "have a good time and hope you achive in finding Kelly a bloke"

You have nothing to worry about......If you look at the people who are posting the advice to just let it happen and take it easy you will notice its the more experianced members.

Sarge On!

Francisco d'Anconia · Jul 7, 2006

INXS said:
I know this seems harsh, but I think this is a good suggestion, I mean the two are about equal (more or less).

This problem goes deeper than just the dancing. What it really means (imo) is that even though something makes you uncomfortable, your girlfriend goes ahead and disregards your feelings and does it. Your feelings should matter!

If this keeps happening, or things like this happen here is something to think about:

Do you really want a relationship where your girlfriend is going to do something that she knows you are uncomfortable with?

That is for you to decide in the end. However, if it keeps happening it speaks volumes about the relationship if she disregards your feelings on things.

So it's safe to say that when you guys are in a relationship you stop hanging out with your buds at clubs or bars because by default, guys hit on girls and no woman can not say no to their advances. Basically, when you are dating someone the only time that either of you can go to social events is when you go together.

speed dawg · Jul 7, 2006

Francisco d'Anconia said:
So it's safe to say that when you guys are in a relationship you stop hanging out with your buds at clubs or bars because by default, guys hit on girls and no woman can not say no to their advances. Basically, when you are dating someone the only time that either of you can go to social events is when you go together.

Yes, the insecurity is running rampant.....

It's the girl's responsibility to say no to a guy's advances. If she doesn't, and ends up cheating, she just saved you alot of time, money and energy. What a lot of you don't realize, is that the "club" isn't the only place girls get hit on. She's going to be by herself at some point and will probably be hit on, more than once, and there's nothing you'll be able to do except trust that she says no. Geez it's not rocket science....

Le Parisien · Jul 7, 2006

Just like many have pointed out here, maybe it's true that they want to find their friend Kelly a guy, but it definitely is NOT priority number one.

Just put yourself in her shoes, would you happily go out with your buddies to a club, for the sole purpose of finding a girl for one of your buddies?
Of course NOT!

I'm NOT saying that she's going to cheat, she probably won't go that far. But she will definitely do things to feel desirable, to "feel like a woman again"...

Whatever happens, she can always say that she was just trying to get some guy's attention for Kelly... Just like you would say "yeah I was chatting up some hottie so I can introduce her to my buddy"

:crackup: She will be dancing/grinding/kissing with other guys :yes:

The only possibility that she might be honest is if you are also invited, which obviously is NOT the case.

So decide for yourself and act accordingly with all the information given to you here in this thread. I believe everyone can only give you his insight, but it's up to you to decide what to do.

Jariel · Jul 7, 2006

speed dawg said:
Yes, the insecurity is running rampant.....

It's the girl's responsibility to say no to a guy's advances. If she doesn't, and ends up cheating, she just saved you alot of time, money and energy. What a lot of you don't realize, is that the "club" isn't the only place girls get hit on. She's going to be by herself at some point and will probably be hit on, more than once, and there's nothing you'll be able to do except trust that she says no. Geez it's not rocket science....

I agree. A woman is either the type to cheat or she is not. You can't expect to keep a cheater faithful by cutting off all her opportunities to cheat. She has to WANT to be faithful to you.

I mean, let's say that she is going to the club with the intentions to pick up another guy. Would preventing her from going make her less of a cheater?

For a relationship to work, you must have confidence in yourself and you must trust her. You can't go through life worrying about what could happen or you will never leave your bed.

As others have said, go out with your buddies and have a lads night instead of sitting at home feeling paranoid. Sometimes I genuinely want nights with my friends and time apart from my girlfriend. It does not mean I want to cheat on her, I just want to catch up with my friends and have a change.

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