Taking the Red Pill & my LTR.

The end of my longest LTR (1year) makes me feel like writing here.


I think I was 21 the first time I realised there was something wrong. But I didn't know what it was.
I dated several women from my 18, good looking & wanted women. But I had never been able to work it into a relationship/or to keep the relationship rolling. After a few weeks women left me.
I remember going to the library reading "Man are from Mars, women of Venus". (lol)

The hard lesson came at 22. I dated a girl of 28. The "relationship" (when I know look at it it wasn't a relationship) lasted almost 4 months, my longest relationship ever at that time.
I learned the hard way the consequences of AFCism, some errors I made:
-she was my world/life
-couldn't walk away
-identifing with her
-the sex was so good, I lost all logic
-needy
...

The consequences were predictible: better to have a bad boyfriend than no boyfriend. When she finally met somebody less AFC than me, she cheated on me with him & dumped me the hard way. I felt into a pseudo-depression lasting 2months, thought I lost it all. Then I rehabed, I met new girls, but wasn't interesting in dating: I was disgusted by what happened to me.
Something wasn't right. There was something wrong about this place. Were all women like this? What do they want? What did I do to deserver this?


Short after the "depression" I found out about DYD. This were the first steps into seduction. Closely followed by Badboy & other seduction websites that gave me ammo to go to war.
I became aware of what women wants in terms of seduction. I became:
-confident
-not needy
-social
-desired by other women
-busy
...

I met more women than before, but still I didn't want to date. Then I met my current ex-girlfriend and I forced myself to date her. The LTR would last 1 year.
The first months were incredibly: with my new weapons of mass seduction I was able to keep her attracted to me! Incredible, this stuff works I thought!
After 2months we went on a 10days trip. When we came back I couldn't use my newly acquired seduction skills anymore: it was an act! She became aware that it was an act, and I lost my attractiveness. The AFC in me awoke and she dumped me during month 3.
Luckily I came across sosuave at that time, spinned some plates & she came back to me.

Be a man says Pook. And he's right. I didn't understand what he meant the first time I read it, but now I do. I was an actor: an AFC in the role of a man. In the meanwhile it was already month 10 of the LTR, longest ever. I finally found out what had been wrong during all those years: it was me. They weren't the problem: I was. I had been suffering from a severe disease during several years: I thought that an LTR would bring me true & everlasting happiness. Walt Disney had been lying to me during all this years.

I finally understood what I personally need to become happy:
Absolute freedom to do what I want, whenever I want and without having to justify to anybody. This could include: travel, workout, sleep, wake up,... I needed to quit my job & start my own business. I need to study, to emprove myself as a person, but also intellectually, i need to acquire new skills.



I need more time. My girlfriend couldn't give me the time I wanted. She wants to be number 1. I have more important things right now. So we ended the LTR 3 weeks ago. No hard feeling, no hard words. She will be 27 next week. Life is hard for everybody.

:rockon: Fvckin A man, great post!

Welcome to outside of society's AFC Matrix. You've made more progress than most ever will. You can never go back to seeing things the way you did before, and it's gonna change your world radically.

You're on the path now. The journey has started. There's a lot to be prepared for. Most of the AFC people you've associated with in the past are gonna resent seeing you change and grow. There will be a lot of people who try to pull you back down to thinking and acting like them. More women will find you attractive. More and more, you'll start to view time as your most precious resource. You'll be absolutely amazed at how much change can take place when you've willed it to happen. Good luck!

Re:

Great foresight and objective insight. Whatever you choose, as long you're happy with you choose is the best choice.

The "mind" of society is to be on this "escalator" heading toward some supposed, pre-ordained destiny. The social mind would say.

1.Childhood.
2.Education.
3.College.
4.Fawking around.
5.Marriage.
6.Kids.
7.Retirement.

And that's the cookie cutter mentality many elect without actually confidently choosing it. If you're content with the work you do, and the income you have meets what you want to do, then what pressure should exist in desiring more income? None. Of course we want more because its natural in some respects, but it isn't to be expected or fought. If you're content having casual relationships, do that.

You're line on an AFC playing a man, or half man, is very much on the mark on what society, and even PUAISM is producing. It produces many boys, but few men. And boys they remain, because they're subservient to women. I think it's entirely ok to give credence to what a woman wants, but you're equals in a relationship. Her wants do not outweigh your's, anymore than your's outweigh her's, that's the responsibility of choice, and power inherent within.

I do think we have to be happy NOW. Not become anything. The 'becoming' is a mental trick that puts everything so far outside you, one never knows when you achieve it. Moreover, you never start in some cases. Alot of guys label themselves so demeaningly that they're set right up for failure from spot 1. They go with "I am AFC" or a similar title, and they remain that way, and identify that way, and act that way. And their results reinforce what they do, permanently implanting who they are into their psyche.

We aren't anything specifically. At best we're conscious thought in a body, with the devil of the "ego" on our shoulders which tries to 'test' us or 'motivate' us. But nobody is their body, or their experiences, or their feelings. They're none of that. What is is permanent, and nothing in this plane of existence is permanent. All changes, all dies, all is reborn. It doesn't matter your belief in life of what we came from or where we are going to...the fact that change is the only permenance we know is sufficient enough to provide evidence that everything else is ILLUSION. A person really is only conscious thought and nothing else. Because it's that conscious thought which molds his body into a work of art, or his life into wonderous achievement, or the world into something spectacular. Your cells die and are reborn. Cuts heal, wounds close, hair regrows, nails regrow. Buildings fall and new ones are erected.

The better analogy is to think of yourself as a space traveler in a new dimension and the knowledge you acquire enables you to perceive life. There are those who accurately perceive the laws of existence here, and there are those who don't. Maybe those who don't are built better for other dimensions. However, the only thing separating one from another is personality/consciousness. Some find the right tools to thrive here and some don't. Some perceive reality right, other's don't. There's no right way, there's just ways that are more effective. And pulling the individual back to their starting point is the Social Computer and the Ego. Society will bring the individual back, and so will their Ego try to hold them back.

Most of life is an awakening.

Try finding the ebook or book "The Stellar Man" by John Baines.


Nice post. :cheer:


A-Unit

Cool post, I like it and am glad you finally "get it."