Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

10 things to look for in a wife

Colossus

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 22, 2005
Messages
3,542
Reaction score
558
I've wanted to make this list for a while, but I've come across a number of "wife lists" around the web and wanted to formulate my own opinion. This is by no means all-inclusive, and is geared towards men < age 40 who have never been married previously and are interested in a wife either for starting a family or companionship. Obviously the parameters are different for older gents. Feel free to contribute!

These are things to look for in HER. Stuff that YOU can do will be covered in another post. In no particular order:

10. She should come from a good, intact family.

Everyone’s family has some issues. But a girl should have parents who are still married and reasonably happy. Children of divorced parents are more likely to be divorced themselves. Look at her parent’s dynamic and assess whether the mother or father wears the pants. If the mother wears the pants, you can count on her being domineering once you get married. They tend to emulate their mother’s attitudes and conflict resolution style.

9. She should have a good relationship with her father.

No brainer. Any girl who has daddy issues of significance will transfer them to YOU, because once married you become the focal man in her life, and she will take out unresolved father conflict on her new primary male figure. It’s ok if they had their issues in the past but are good friends now, but just be observant of her comments and attitude towards her dad. Anger, distrust, resentment = BAD. Abuse = super bad.

8. No kids. (from Christian Mcqueen’s “8 signs she’s a keeper” article)

Unless you have some unnatural desire to raise another man’s sperm, then definitely do NOT date/marry a girl who has kids from a previous guy. You will regret this like hell, I’m warning you in all seriousness. If you were to get a divorce and you make more than her, then guess what buddy? You could end up paying child support for a fvcking kid that’s not even yours. Repeat after me: FVCK THAT ****. Life is too short to be cleaning up other people’s mistakes.

Leave the cuckoldry to herbs and KBJs like Mark Minter.

7. Never married.

Damaged goods. Damaged goods. Damaged goods. Embrace this mantra when you meet previously married women. I can tell you from experience---they ALL carry ex-husband baggage. You will pay, in one way or another, for his mistakes. Plus, how special can it really be to be standing at the altar with a woman who has already said her forever vows once??? You want her vision of marriage to be fresh and untainted, much like her pvssy. That's not to say that good women cant make mistakes, but if you have a choice (you do), buy new.

6. She should be non-feminist

While most women aren’t going to have to level of awareness that a DJ or red pill man will on social matters, she does need to have a working understanding that we do NOT live in a pro-male society. She needs to understand that you are taking a MUCH bigger risk in marrying her than she is to you, and that a prenuptial agreement is a pragmatic measure taken by a rational man who wants to mitigate as much risk as possible. In a nutshell, she should be down with more traditional gender roles, generally like men, and not have any delusions that women have it ruff.

5. She should be submissive and receptive to male leadership

Self-explanatory. Show me a successful relationship or a marriage and I’ll show you a couple where the Man is a competent leader and the wife is a willing follower. Think pilot-copilot. You do not want an ‘enlightened feminist’ cvnt who will make your life hell and question every action or decision of yours. That’s an uphill battle you will never win. Start with good stock. You want a sweet, feminine girl who WANTS to follow a strong man wherever that might be. She will feel fulfilled in this role and will make your job 1000 times easier. It’s ok to give her some dominion over the home and other day-to-day matters, but YOU are the pilot and the pilot makes the big decisions that affect everyone. There is more control, but also more responsibility.

4. Preferably a virgin, or single digit partners.

I’ve talked about this at length in other threads and my blog, but I cannot overemphasize the value of finding a girl who has NEVER had another man before you. Not only is she physically untainted, but her ability to bond with you is undiluted and pure. You can teach her sexually and never worry about her having hang-ups or wonder about her hazy sexual past.
Now, obviously finding a virgin with all these other attributes in this day and age is like finding a needle in a hayfield. The fewer partners the better. Evidence has shown that the more sexual partners a girl has had prior to marriage, the higher the likelihood of marital dissolution. I would suggest <5 partners.

3. She should have the body type you want---naturally

Is she a little chubby now? Does she have some thunder thighs or was she once very overweight? How big are her boobs? A girl with DD’s at 23 will be sagging and likely overweight in her thirties and forties. Choose a female that looks the way you like NATURALLY. Reservations about her body now will only magnify with age. Look at her mother as well. This isn't an absolute predictor, but they tend to follow their mother’s physical progression. Also, an ongoing commitment to exercise is a must.

2. She should not be overly materialistic

It’s fine if she has a good fashion sense and a taste for some finer things, but really your income and resources shouldn't have a tremendous bearing on why she is with you. She should be just as happy going out for a burger with you in your 1979 Datsun as she would cruising down the strip in your Ferrari. Does she want a big extravagant wedding? Does she chatter on endlessly about sh!t she knows you can’t afford? Red flags. Also, she should be debt-free or at the most have some well-managed, low risk debt.

1. She should level with you on the BIG stuff: Spiritual beliefs, children, financial habits, lifestyle preferences.

This is also pretty self-explanatory, but it bears repeating. These things are non-negotiable and will have a HUGE effect on your quality of life with her. You should want the same type of lifestyle---i.e. live in the country vs. city, lots of leisure vs. lots of work, kids vs. no kids, similar travel goals, a few shared hobbies, and similar sex appetites. Again, no brainer stuff but in the long run differences in these key areas will pull you apart.
 

backbreaker

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 24, 2002
Messages
11,643
Reaction score
571
Location
monrovia, CA
I don't agree with 9 but ohter than that it's a great list. for number 9 i would say it depends on WHY she doesn't have a great relationshpi with her dad. I will throw a yellow flag up if a girl just has a POS father. I've had some positive relationships with women who have had POS dads.

In other words, a man be a POS yet still raise a child in a correct manner. one girl in particular i dated her dad cheated on her mom and the girl she cheated on with called the house and my GF picked up the phone and the mistress proceeded to tell the girl how he promised to leave and ****, the girl and the dad never really had a great relationship after that. But by that time she was damn near grown.

I mean, ****, I don't have a good relationship with my dad, he tried to **** my girlfriend lol. But I still got a lot of good stuff out of him when I was younger. That would be quite hypocritical.


more than anything though i think guys **** up by LOOKING for a wife. Anytime you go into a relationship looking for **** you start trying to fit a peg in a round hole and it never works. Deciding that a woman is wife material is something that should come after a period of time with the woman, a significant period of time.
 

samspade

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 5, 2008
Messages
7,996
Reaction score
5,054
backbreaker said:
I don't agree with 9 but ohter than that it's a great list. for number 9 i would say it depends on WHY she doesn't have a great relationshpi with her dad. I will throw a yellow flag up if a girl just has a POS father. I've had some positive relationships with women who have had POS dads.

In other words, a man be a POS yet still raise a child in a correct manner. one girl in particular i dated her dad cheated on her mom and the girl she cheated on with called the house and my GF picked up the phone and the mistress proceeded to tell the girl how he promised to leave and ****, the girl and the dad never really had a great relationship after that. But by that time she was damn near grown.

I mean, ****, I don't have a good relationship with my dad, he tried to **** my girlfriend lol. But I still got a lot of good stuff out of him when I was younger. That would be quite hypocritical.
My ex-wife's dad was a deadbeat and a bigamist and had no role in raising her. She turned out to be top of her class in high school and college yet still demure and feminine. HOWEVER I consider her to be an outlier. In spite of my experience, I will still tell guys that a good wife is more likely to come from an intact family with a strong male figure. I looked past this with her because 1) she pulled herself up by her bootstraps out of loyalty to her mother and 2) that's how a lot of men are in Latin America, unfortunately.

The lesson of course is you can be a little flexible on your rules, but don't rationalize the irrational. You should be able to tell if she passes your test overall. A Super Bowl winning quarterback won't tick every coach's checklist either, but he'll get 8 or 9 out of 10.
 

MikeOck

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Feb 6, 2012
Messages
201
Reaction score
35
Location
MidAtlantic
Very good list and I agree with you on all points.

I would add though:

9b. She should have a good relationship with her mother.

Her mother is her roll model for what a woman and wife should be. If her mom is a f#(king mess, run don't walk. Also, look at her mother physically. If her mom gained a lot of weight or aged poorly, she likely will as well.

11. She should be free from abuse.

If she was sexually abused as a child, she most likely has emotional damage that will reveal itself eventually.
 

speed dawg

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 9, 2006
Messages
4,808
Reaction score
1,242
Location
The Dirty South
1-6 and 8 are givens. The last 3 could go either way. Very tough to find a woman who meets all of that.
 

Scaramouche

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 27, 2008
Messages
3,749
Reaction score
927
Age
79
Location
Australia
Dear Collossus,
I feel the most important aspect for success in a marriage to a highly svexed Man,that would be most of the Guys here,is being reasonably available....The biggest most constant complaint I hear from married blokes,is constantly being on rations!
 

Boilermaker

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 3, 2010
Messages
1,339
Reaction score
77
Great post,

Sticky it ,

Congratulations.

P.S : I actually have a girl that objectively has ALL OF that and then some ...

Like she comes from an affluent family, she does everything I like in bed ( a corollary of Point 4 as Colossus explains ) , and she's really feminine and elegant, not short either.
 

Colossus

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 22, 2005
Messages
3,542
Reaction score
558
Thanks guys, glad you like the list.

Some of these things can be combined obviously, but 10 is a nice round number.

I would tell any dude that if he TRULY found a girl with all 10 qualities, she is wife material if he is ever going to find one. Any more specific than that, and I think you're chasing a ghost.
 

Married Buried

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 1, 2012
Messages
1,919
Reaction score
71
Boilermaker said:
Great post,

Sticky it ,

Congratulations.

P.S : I actually have a girl that objectively has ALL OF that and then some ...

Like she comes from an affluent family, she does everything I like in bed ( a corollary of Point 4 as Colossus explains ) , and she's really feminine and elegant, not short either.
When is the wedding date?

And where is the pic?

Brag about a ***** on this site, a pic should be required.
 

Colossus

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 22, 2005
Messages
3,542
Reaction score
558
Danger said:
Great list. Men would be saved so much headache if they just followed these simple rules.

Having said that, my girl is divorced and that is the only one she violates. In fact, the only reason I chose her despite this flaw is that she married younger and spent very limited time being single (carouseling).

Yeah I think for each guy the non-negotiable items will vary. For me the never married criterion is a must, but that's based on past experience.

Realistically speaking if a girl has 8-9 that's pretty damn good.

If she has all 10 including the virginity???? Marry that girl if you're gonna get married. The grass doesn't get any greener than that!
 

glass half full

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 2, 2012
Messages
910
Reaction score
296
I would like to add rule 9c. - they need to make an honest effort from their true self/heart to bond with our mother. I feel like that when they don't, they have something to hide. (from experience).

Now I'm not saying that because she gets along with your mom that it will be a slam dunk, I know that isn't true from experience as well. But I've found the first instant to be self-evident.
 

Skyy.

Banned
Joined
Jul 1, 2013
Messages
59
Reaction score
13
Additions:

- The woman you are marrying MUST love you more that you love her.

- Marry after 40, enjoy the prime of your life, do not be in such a hurry to commit.

- Examine your wife for a few years if decide on children, you may raise a family that you aren't part of.
 

Married Buried

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 1, 2012
Messages
1,919
Reaction score
71
I hate bragging but I'm lucky to have found latina that meets everything on the list.
 
Top