On Perseverance

So I'm starting over again. Really what choice is there? I'm not ready to give up yet. And really, it's been worse than it is now and I survived, what will it hurt to try 100%? I've been homeless and survived. I've been unemployed and survived. I've been with out a dollar to my name and survived. I've been suicidal and survived. The world has not beaten me yet.

Tomorrow I start on an 8 week marketing plan for my business in which my goal is to generate a significant number of sales and to kick start a recurring revenue business model that is scalable. I've completed my website and sales materials and I have a proven plan in place. The next 8 weeks will change my life for the better or worse, but it will change dammit.

I will not worry about women or any distractions. I will focus on the task at hand. I cannot move backwards.

I am happy to read this post.

Go for it bro.

Right on Warrior. I hope you take the time to update us on the progress.

You know, I really admire the balls you guys have starting up and trying to make your own business successful. The guys that do this are the definition of freedom and what makes our country great.

I've been thinking a lot lately of starting up my own business. It means going into a decent amount of debt to start, maybe $200K. It scares me to think about commitment, though I really want to do it.

Best of luck, Warrior. I hope you succeed.

Things I have to accept.

I'm writing this for myself. I really have no one to share these thoughts with in real life with out revealing my weaknesses or risking people discouraging me. My family is very good at that. I don't tell them anything they don't need to know.

So I've completed my website, I've asked for referrals and I started pitching my services with some good responses so far.

Here are a few things I realize that I have to accept to move forward :

1. I have to become a better salesman.
I know I have a good product and people like the concept. They aren't sold on me though. In order for them to trust me I have to be willing to put myself all the way out there. I have to take more risk and up my number of daily contacts. I hate being embarrassed. I hate failing. I hate taking risks. I sometimes feel like my "confident" comes off as "arrogant". I can sell a friend and sound confident but I can't sell a prospect with out feeling like I'm a try hard.

I recently had this lesson in putting myself out there driven home. I play in a pool league with a friend. I've never played before besides drunkenly knocking around balls. My first game I got destroyed. I was embarrassed in front of my friends and teammates. The girl who beat me was an associate who loved rubbing it in. I wanted to quit. But I made a commitment to the team and I decided to stick with it even if I was the worst player (which I was). I put in practice 4 nights a week for a month. My practice has finally paid off and now I'm winning more than I lose and I'm getting points for my team. I stopped worrying about how other people saw me and I started playing against myself. I don't have an opponent at the table other than the table and the balls in front of me. My personal goal is what matters, getting enough points to help the team.

So here is my choice now. Practice every single day on being a better salesman. It will pay off for me. The only way it won't is if I do nothing. Don't be embarrassed. Don't be afraid to fail because I know I will. Many times. But eventually I will start winning more than I lose and I will be making money.


2. The second thing I have to accept is this. I have to increase my overall style. I'm fat and I dress poorly.

Fat is unattractive. It's unattractive in love and in business. The better shape I'm in the better I look when I approach clients (and women). In order for me to fix this I've begun cooking every single meal. I am not eating it if I didn't cook it. I am not eating after 6 pm. I am not eating breads and cutting sugars. I am walking daily, and I have to get my shoulder& knee injury tended to so I can start lifting and doing more cardio. I am down 10 lbs. I have 50 lbs to go.

After a few years of pure poverty my wardrobe has gone to sh1t. Most of my clothes are too baggy from when I was fatter or just old/worn out. I've started working on my wardrobe slowly as I don't have a lot of coin. A shirt and a pair of pants each pay cycle. I'm putting together cheap but appealing outfits that I can use to prospect for clients. I've gotten lots of compliments, especially on the new shoes. I have two outfits that look particularly well. Next is a nice suit. It will take some time to have a complete wardrobe, especially with my weight loss, but I have to have something decent to wear now!


3. I have low SMV. Sexual market value. I read this somewhere and I think I agree. You can tell you SMV by A. The women that flirt and act the way you want hot women to act vs. the women you feel nervous by. If a 4 is an easy mark and an 8 makes you nervous, you're between them in SMV. (confidence counts as SMV, if she's shaking your confidence before you even holla, you ain't there.) Yah. I'm at the bottom of the barrel. The women who want me, I don't want and the women I want I'm afraid to go get. Fact.

http://heartiste.wordpress.com/dating-market-value-test-for-men/

On Roissy's DMV test I score classic beta. I'm not arguing it. It's probably the reason I avoid women right now. I don't feel up to the challenge. Everything else I'm working on will up my SMV, but I realize that iupping my SMV is a by-product not the goal. The goal is to make myself happy with my own life. I am not happy with my life and where it is at. Nobody is coming to save me, it's up to me to fix it or give up.

What I've done to fix this? Besides working on my career and style, I've started talking to beautiful women every where I go. Even if it's just a random conversation with no intent to close, I just want to get the practice of speaking and being comfortable speaking to beautiful women as if they are just normal people. I bust their balls, crack jokes and mostly just treat them like little bratty sisters. Some of the hot chics at work love hanging out with me. I don't fish off the company peer so its just fun. I also get to practice with my photography hobby and when I got talk to clients. My goal is to increase my overall charisma through practice. That fact that several well off customers have added me on facebook and linkedin and have invited me to a few events shows that socially I'm moving in the right direction.

I just finished cooking for the next 3 days and preparing my wardrobe for the next week. I've clean the house, done the bills and emailed the clients. I'm getting **** done. I no longer talk about what I am going to do. I talk about what I am doing or what I have done. Everyone doesn't need to know my plans. They just need to know my results and that I get them.

Damn I could have wrote points 2 and 3 word for word 12 years ago. You'll get there.

It gets better. I promise you that it will get better if you stick with it.

“Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful people with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan "press on" has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race”
Calvin Coolidge quotes (American 30th President of the United States, 1872-1933)

Warrior74 said:

I play in a pool league with a friend. I've never played before besides drunkenly knocking around balls.

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Back when I used to go to bars, I noticed that if I went in sober I could play pool and beat all the inebriated folks. As I got more tipsy, my advantage disappeared. Meanwhile, my alcoholic friend always swore to me that the drunker he got, the better he played, lol. He needed a certain amount of alcohol to feel normal, I suppose. Aside from that, I always thought he was deluding himself.

Warrior74 said:

The women that flirt and act the way you want hot women to act vs. the women you feel nervous by. If a 4 is an easy mark and an 8 makes you nervous, you're between them in SMV.

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That's an interesting theory, there's probably something to that. Women of any type don't make me nervous these days, but I don't really want anything from them. I suppose if I was looking to bang them they might make me nervous.

This was definitely a problem for me when I was younger though. The hottest girls used to make me nervous. This is why I've always thought that the "Be yourself" advice has validity. I noticed the hottest girls made me nervous, and I had trouble being relaxed and acting normally around them - being my natural witty self. Being yourself takes confidence.

Warrior74 said:

On Roissy's DMV test I score classic beta.

Click to expand...

Pfft, fvck that stupid test. I always score horribly on that thing. It's one thing that made me start to question Roissy. If I believed that stupid test, I would have to be the most undesireable male in the country, which I know isn't the case. It's hard to be honest when you take that test, because when you know PUA material, you can see what answers he is looking for.

Your doing it the right way. You aren't sacrificing your future to get laid now. And once you have your business in order and your money in order, the wardrobe and weight will come like clockwork almost overnight because you have the resources to do it right. What you see now is temporary.


You will also have real inner game, because you are living the exact life that you want to live.

zekko said:

Back when I used to go to bars, I noticed that if I went in sober I could play pool and beat all the inebriated folks. As I got more tipsy, my advantage disappeared. Meanwhile, my alcoholic friend always swore to me that the drunker he got, the better he played, lol. He needed a certain amount of alcohol to feel normal, I suppose. Aside from that, I always thought he was deluding himself.


That's an interesting theory, there's probably something to that. Women of any type don't make me nervous these days, but I don't really want anything from them. I suppose if I was looking to bang them they might make me nervous.

This was definitely a problem for me when I was younger though. The hottest girls used to make me nervous. This is why I've always thought that the "Be yourself" advice has validity. I noticed the hottest girls made me nervous, and I had trouble being relaxed and acting normally around them - being my natural witty self. Being yourself takes confidence.


Pfft, fvck that stupid test. I always score horribly on that thing. It's one thing that made me start to question Roissy. If I believed that stupid test, I would have to be the most undesireable male in the country, which I know isn't the case. It's hard to be honest when you take that test, because when you know PUA material, you can see what answers he is looking for.

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I agree, it's an internet test from a guy with an agenda. And of course I knew the "right" anwsers to game the test. But I thought about the last 6 months and the things I should have said vs. what I actually said and I know that I didn't have to balls to speak my mind fully and that's why I accept that I am where I am. Too many people on here and in the 'sphere think that because they read this stuff everyday they are suddenly "alpha".

You know it wasn't even that, i wasn't getting laid that bothered me. I mean I wasn't happy about it, but i Mean that wasn't the killer. It wasn't hte fact that i wasn't getting any attention from females that was the killer


what really broke me down back then was knowing just how much work I had to do to get to the point where i could date. Just like you. black lol, run down clothes, overweight. i had more pressing things financially to do than to throw them at my wardrobe and the gym. I had to take care of those things before i could consider spending money on me. On top of that if you are like me you probably picked up some quirks / awdarkness from being alone so much that you need tow ork past. I still have that to some extent. but now i'm hot so girls think it's cute lol. but i'm not a social butterfly.

you know what sucks worse than being a blue pill guy and getting cheated on and not getting attention? lol, being a red pill guy and knowing EXACTLY why you aren't getting attention and why you aren't getting ates, and yet becuase of life circumstnaces, not being able to do a damn thing about it. Knowing it was going to be months if not years before I went on a date. that stung. i would have serious bouts of depression over it. But one day I just accecpted it. it was what it was. this is the life i chose and so be it. I get laid one day or i won't. and it still took another year at that point lol.


by the time i actually a girl actually flirted with me i had forgotten what it felt like to be desired by a woman. it's kinda sad but it is what it is. it's the life we chose.

backbreaker said:

You know it wasn't even that, i wasn't getting laid that bothered me. I mean I wasn't happy about it, but i Mean that wasn't the killer. It wasn't hte fact that i wasn't getting any attention from females that was the killer


what really broke me down back then was knowing just how much work I had to do to get to the point where i could date. Just like you. black lol, run down clothes, overweight. i had more pressing things financially to do than to throw them at my wardrobe and the gym. I had to take care of those things before i could consider spending money on me. On top of that if you are like me you probably picked up some quirks / awdarkness from being alone so much that you need tow ork past. I still have that to some extent. but now i'm hot so girls think it's cute lol. but i'm not a social butterfly.

you know what sucks worse than being a blue pill guy and getting cheated on and not getting attention? lol, being a red pill guy and knowing EXACTLY why you aren't getting attention and why you aren't getting ates, and yet becuase of life circumstnaces, not being able to do a damn thing about it. Knowing it was going to be months if not years before I went on a date. that stung. i would have serious bouts of depression over it. But one day I just accecpted it. it was what it was. this is the life i chose and so be it. I get laid one day or i won't. and it still took another year at that point lol.


by the time i actually a girl actually flirted with me i had forgotten what it felt like to be desired by a woman. it's kinda sad but it is what it is. it's the life we chose.

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You nailed it man. I think a part of my holiday season depression was just that. I know what needs to happen and I know it will be well over a year before I get there and right now only monsters want my baby batter.

Yah I sit in my office at work by myself all day, I sit in my home office alone all evening. I make myself get up and walk around the office just to speak to someone besides my supervisor. I really could just hide in my office and communicate through email and phone calls. Pool has been really great for me as far as socializing goes. I have a supportive team and I meet new people every week. Unfortunately there are no single hot girls in our pool league. Whales and hores abound.

for me it was going to the movies.

come hell or high water, don't give a damn what was playing, i would go to the movies every friday night. i'd take my one pair of pants and iron the **** out of them lol and i'd press my shirt and go to the movies. that was my time to be around normal people.

you have to do that for you man. you have to to keep your sanity.

The Situational BETA male

wrong thread