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Numb toward women

Malcontent

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I had a 13 years younger gf I broke up with a couple years ago. It was the only chick I was ever excited about and wanted a future with but she revealed more low quality woman stuff over time and I eventually had to end it despite being addicted to her sexiness (HB9 in my book).

It's been 2 years since cutting it off and I still think about her everyday if only for a few minutes.

There are women who seem interested but are below the HB level of my ex and I feel nothing toward them. I don't even wanna bone them.

I guess I got burned and am jaded. I see gold-diggers, BPD, no integrity, AW, swinging from branch to branch, etc when I look into any woman's eyes now. The prettier, the worse I think of them.

Has anyone experienced this?

I've had breakups before and been emotional and withdrawn and all that for a while, but this is more like something that doesn't seem to be fading -- like a permanent change in my thinking.

Is this part of the process of taking the red pill? Painful reality? De-pedestalization of women?

I feel zero connection when interacting with a woman now. It's like I have my own b!tch shield now.

Maybe time will pass and I will feel something again. But something has changed in my brain.
 

channingtatum

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I feel the same way man. I think it's part of a side effect of swallowing the red pill and understanding life/women for how it really is. And also, the older you get, the less women you meet who will give you "that" feeling. Just enjoy the women that are in your life and eventually another one that gives you "that" feeling again. At least you're wise enough to know that just because a woman gives you "that" feeling now, that it doesn't mean that can't change over time.
 

PRAGMATIST

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OP I have a similar story..girlfriend was 10 years younger than me and hot as hell, gave me a big ego boost, body of a model and face of an angel, had a real fiery personality & I loved all those things about her but she also was crazy as hell, finally diagnosed as borderline personality disorder, you dont know the pit of dispair until you live with one of these..... It soured me to LTR's and to women in general and in particular the hottest ones..because the hottest ones are usually the most effed up..due to the endless attention they get from men due to their looks, it hampers their personality development in many cases, so you have the bimbo persona, b1tch persona or else you get the other kind who allow a small towns worth of random guys to "love" them, it leaves them as mentally and emotionally empty.
Its the red pill I guess...but its worth seeing reality for what it is. I was very close to destroying my finances, my relationships and most of all my mind all in order to passify and hold on to someone I was foolish to believe could be saved..
So in some ways getting "numb" to women is really just seeing women as women see each other.
The real reason some men really get "good" with women isnt down to silly pick up tricks (although I have a few) or dressing like a pimp (even though I do dress like one sometimes), the actual real reason is because they can mentally put sex to one side and deal with the hot chick as just another woman...where as the typical guy cant get past a woman's looks and if experiencing a borderline dime doesn't drop a huge red pill on you...nothing will..
...I mean, last night, there there was a stone cold 10 in the club..well a few dimes..but one in particular edged out the rest. No guy dared hit on her but me and thats not because im superpimp but more due to being numb to them (well almost). The biggest **** test of them all is being "man enough" to see through the tight body, heels, hair and makeup..but she really was quite a boring woman and after talking to her it was me who lost interest, she actually stood, in the club all night and didnt even dance, just looked hot...imagine dating that..imagine that in bed...YAWN..never the less smokin hot...but thats all she was...thats not enough for me, there has to be a personality underneath the makeup and hair. Also last night on the dance floor, another dime with an awesome body started dancing with me, then we got talking and she was the one pulling the moves on me..hands all over me, tells me she is married but "we could be really good friends"...and it just reinforces my opinion on hot chicks, because I know I could be that chump sat at home whilst my "loyal" wife is out with her girlfriends...and yeah I was tempted to keep her number but frankly I dont need that kind of drama and there are hot single women in every club and bar every weekend...so next...
Im not stating all hot chicks are a mess, im saying its a common combination... mind you lots of regular looking women are messed up too. it just seems more common and more acute the hotter they are.
Also I narrowly avoided getting into a brawl and I would have had my ass kicked as im not much of a fighter these days...but thats how it is when you get a bunch of sexually frustrated drunk AFC types all in the same room... Also why I usually am more picky with the clubs I go to, but my wing women wanted this joint..women.
 
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Malcontent

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Thanks for the replies.

I think I'm too old for the club, probably even the bars. I could never really get into those scenes much anyway. I'm more of a loner/introvert which probably leads to oneitis and dry spells.

I did find women who were interested in me back when I forced myself to go to those places. I had a couple women ask me for a kiss out of the blue, taken a few home, but I find that they are just like the type of woman that my ex is -- AWs, cheaters, etc. I guess I'm looking for a LTR most of the time and part of that is to do with sex. I don't wanna have to worry about the STD/kid thing.

I suppose if I could adopt more of a pump and dump attitude I'd be better off, but still the same concerns exist.

I do think my ex was a BPD but of course there is no official diagnosis. I spent about a year on a BPD site trying to re-sort my head, but it'll never be like it was before.
 

In2theGame

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Dont worry OP, Your not alone in this feeling. I feel the same way as you do since my LTR with my last G/F. It left me damaged mentally and emotionally i guess where i cant really let myself open up to women and because of that i have major trust issues. I have dated and fvcked a lot of hot girls since then. Im talking those hot blue eye's big t!ts big azz blonde's, Did it boost my ego? Sure it did and going out to Bars, Lounges, Clubs and having girls constantly complimenting me on my looks also made me feel "Good" but deep down i am hollow and just feel sort of empty, like a void.

I havent been really excited about a girl in a long time like i did when i first met my ex GF and she wasnt no HB9 or HB8.. Maybe a 8 on a dolled up night but with no make up or anything she was a solid 7 however i got along with her so well that i was 100% sure she was going to be my wife. After 5 years together and been though alot together... she leaves to immediately get engaged to another guy. Since then i've just become numb to females in general not really feeling a spark with the loads of women i have met. To top it off ive seen so many women being deceptive to their BF and Husbands that it just makes me avoid another LTR all together.

Overall, I am now in my very early 30's but it's getting really tough out there in terms of making a connection with a certain woman. I can get by on my looks and date plenty of women but as "soft" as it sounds... i would like to meet someone i can connect with and not play any games. Remember that naive feeling of freely falling in love with a girl without your mind being clouded? Its a great feeling but also can be a very dangerous one set up for an emotional roller coaster you can only experience in a nightmare.
 

Pasternak

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PRAGMATIST said:
OP I have a similar story..girlfriend was 10 years younger than me and hot as hell, gave me a big ego boost, body of a model and face of an angel, had a real fiery personality & I loved all those things about her but she also was crazy as hell, finally diagnosed as borderline personality disorder, you dont know the pit of dispair until you live with one of these..... It soured me to LTR's and to women in general and in particular the hottest ones..because the hottest ones are usually the most effed up..due to the endless attention they get from men due to their looks, it hampers their personality development in many cases, so you have the bimbo persona, b1tch persona or else you get the other kind who allow a small towns worth of random guys to "love" them, it leaves them as mentally and emotionally empty.
Its the red pill I guess...but its worth seeing reality for what it is. I was very close to destroying my finances, my relationships and most of all my mind all in order to passify and hold on to someone I was foolish to believe could be saved..
So in some ways getting "numb" to women is really just seeing women as women see each other.
The real reason some men really get "good" with women isnt down to silly pick up tricks (although I have a few) or dressing like a pimp (even though I do dress like one sometimes), the actual real reason is because they can mentally put sex to one side and deal with the hot chick as just another woman...where as the typical guy cant get past a woman's looks and if experiencing a borderline dime doesn't drop a huge red pill on you...nothing will..
...I mean, last night, there there was a stone cold 10 in the club..well a few dimes..but one in particular edged out the rest. No guy dared hit on her but me and thats not because im superpimp but more due to being numb to them (well almost). The biggest **** test of them all is being "man enough" to see through the tight body, heels, hair and makeup..but she really was quite a boring woman and after talking to her it was me who lost interest, she actually stood, in the club all night and didnt even dance, just looked hot...imagine dating that..imagine that in bed...YAWN..never the less smokin hot...but thats all she was...thats not enough for me, there has to be a personality underneath the makeup and hair. Also last night on the dance floor, another dime with an awesome body started dancing with me, then we got talking and she was the one pulling the moves on me..hands all over me, tells me she is married but "we could be really good friends"...and it just reinforces my opinion on hot chicks, because I know I could be that chump sat at home whilst my "loyal" wife is out with her girlfriends...and yeah I was tempted to keep her number but frankly I dont need that kind of drama and there are hot single women in every club and bar every weekend...so next...
Im not stating all hot chicks are a mess, im saying its a common combination... mind you lots of regular looking women are messed up too. it just seems more common and more acute the hotter they are.
Also I narrowly avoided getting into a brawl and I would have had my ass kicked as im not much of a fighter these days...but thats how it is when you get a bunch of sexually frustrated drunk AFC types all in the same room... Also why I usually am more picky with the clubs I go to, but my wing women wanted this joint..women.
I'm glad you mentioned it. I got into a fight while I was with my BPD ex. I never done anything like this and almost got into jail as he was a public servant. Running from cops as a white collar professional, still can't beleive it actually happened.

For the numbness you feel. I'm experiencing the same, just recently opened a topic about it.
 

dasein

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Find a charity you really believe in and get involved. When you meet the type of women who do those things, they may not be caked in makeup or drunk and horny, but they are much better human beings than the average trap you will meet out.
 

Bible_Belt

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dasein said:
Find a charity you really believe in and get involved. When you meet the type of women who do those things, they may not be caked in makeup or drunk and horny, but they are much better human beings than the average trap you will meet out.
That is great advice. There are animal rescue charities everywhere that are chick magnets. Stand in a Petsmart on a Saturday with a shelter puppy they're trying to adopt out. I only did that for a couple hours one time, but it was instant rock star status. If I were single, I would milk the hell out of that trick.

On a related note, I recently saw a petfinder ad for a three-legged female mastiff up for adoption. That dog would be a pvssy-getting machine!
 

PeasantPlayer

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I really care about Animals so if I were to do it, it would be a conscious choice. My life doesn't revolve around women.
 

dasein

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PeasantPlayer said:
I really care about Animals so if I were to do it, it would be a conscious choice. My life doesn't revolve around women.
No one is suggesting that, but given the choice of conscious choices to make in spending your precious time, it's efficient to kill two birds with one stone where possible. Look for things that appeal to you where there are women around in addition.
 

The_411

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PairPlusRoyalFlush said:
Now you know how the Natural alpha male has always felt. Enjoy it.
I don't know if I agree with this. I think a natural alpha would certainly be aware of the female detritus out there, but I think he's probably not giving two f's about it and more likely trying to worry about either keeping up other aspects of his life while managing plates.

Utimately women should be a side dish to your main course of ambition, self development, and self awareness.
 

SgtSplacker

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When I first took the red pill I did lose a bit of interest in women. But then I began to understand that it just comes with the territory.

I got over it...
 

Malcontent

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Thanks for the replies. I work about 50-55 hours a week, so I don't have a whole lot of time for volunteering or extracurricular stuff. I usually spend the weekend taking care of stuff I don't have time to handle during the week.

I've just accepted recently that being alone is OK and probably what I need.

I think the main source of angst is I am not over my ex. I think I have had about 5 dreams about her since I first made this post.

My mind is really trying to sort out a lot of things that she challenged in my thinking and understanding of women's behavior.

I think she pushed my insecurities to the limit with her guy friends, contact with her ex, and her touchy-feeliness/flirty behavior with guys. Maybe that's something I need to learn to accept if I have an HB8+ or younger woman or whatever. To me it eroded the relationship and my trust, but I still doubt myself as to whether or not I handled this stuff OK and probably have been beating myself up over it ever since. I guess I blame my slipping into beta mode over her orbiters and her subtly seductive nature still haunts me. I wasn't very good about shrugging it off so I blame myself for the downfall. I feel like I lost.

I think the unpredictability of her behavior drove me away. I was always wondering what was happening when she wasn't right in front of me. I don't know if it was unfounded paranoia or my gut telling me to GTFO.

So it's like a ghost that won't leave until its perpetrator has been revealed. It's still an unresolved riddle how it all played out.
 

Pasternak

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Malcontent said:
I think the unpredictability of her behavior drove me away. I was always wondering what was happening when she wasn't right in front of me. I don't know if it was unfounded paranoia or my gut telling me to GTFO.

So it's like a ghost that won't leave until its perpetrator has been revealed. It's still an unresolved riddle how it all played out.
If she was BPD than the reality was probably much worse than you could imagine in your paranoid thoughts. They are pathological liars. I constantly had to chase mine on dating sites, she was lying about orbiters and with all the attention on her, she could still manage have an affair behind my back.
 

The_411

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Malcontent said:
Thanks for the replies. I work about 50-55 hours a week, so I don't have a whole lot of time for volunteering or extracurricular stuff. I usually spend the weekend taking care of stuff I don't have time to handle during the week.

I've just accepted recently that being alone is OK and probably what I need.

I think the main source of angst is I am not over my ex. I think I have had about 5 dreams about her since I first made this post.

My mind is really trying to sort out a lot of things that she challenged in my thinking and understanding of women's behavior.

I think she pushed my insecurities to the limit with her guy friends, contact with her ex, and her touchy-feeliness/flirty behavior with guys. Maybe that's something I need to learn to accept if I have an HB8+ or younger woman or whatever. To me it eroded the relationship and my trust, but I still doubt myself as to whether or not I handled this stuff OK and probably have been beating myself up over it ever since. I guess I blame my slipping into beta mode over her orbiters and her subtly seductive nature still haunts me. I wasn't very good about shrugging it off so I blame myself for the downfall. I feel like I lost.

I think the unpredictability of her behavior drove me away. I was always wondering what was happening when she wasn't right in front of me. I don't know if it was unfounded paranoia or my gut telling me to GTFO.

So it's like a ghost that won't leave until its perpetrator has been revealed. It's still an unresolved riddle how it all played out.
Malcontent,

You sound a lot like how I was after I ended things with my BPD ex. You sounds like you've got some PTSD and if she was BPD she's left a lot of questions with no answers.

The key is getting yourself right. There's no magic time frame unfortunately, but the further you get away the better you'll feel.
 
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