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I need help guys.

I

Ice_Cold

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Have been going out with this girl past 2 years. We click a lot on many areas and all the nicest things about good relationship etc.

We broke up for about for a couple of months and got back together again about 4 months ago. Things have been great, her showing high IL, constantly being in touch, calling and texting and all the hallmarks of a woman who wants this to work. I have met her parents and on the verge of commitment. But here is the thing ...

She is going to this place and spend the weekend. This is a place where her previous exes frequently hangout. When she told me first i acted indifferent and I said why not, have fun and all that. But I've noticed past couple of days her communication has dropped and she isn't as interested as she was before. This is almost Deja vu of her behaviour leading up to the break up which was painful.

I want to be confident and let her do whatever but these behaviours have been troubling me a lot. How do I react to this? What would you do? If I suspect something fishy I am pressing the eject button with no way back. What is the best way communicating that she's gambling on our relationship?
Any views would be much appreciated.
 
El Payaso

El Payaso

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If you don't feel comfortable, just back out.

However, I would recommend finding solid evidence first do that you can always have a solid reason. Perhaps check her texts, email, phone calls or something.
 
Lozboss

Lozboss

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As Des said- what's this place?

It's tough but part of dating an Ex again is rebuilding that trust. You have to trust her.

If she proves you wrong then she's gone for good.

Brining this up makes you look insecure- look at it like a sh*t test.

Be secure in yourself- if she does f*ck about then you bin her for good and move on, secure in the knowledge you'll find someone else.
 
TheMonkeyKing

TheMonkeyKing

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Personally, I'm not really one for going through people's personal communication (any more). I have done it in the past an it winds me up something chronic; call me naive, but I find the ignorance quite blissful. There will always be some message from some guy or other, which you interpret as suspect. That's just the way women operate. Don't think I've had a relationship yet where the woman isn't in some form of contact with another guy, innocently or not.

Checking her phone and sh!t will damage you one way or another and if you find something worth confronting her about, which from you own perception you invariably will, she will see it as underhand and ultimately pretty f*cking weak.

You main concern is how she behaves with you, particularly around the time of her going away. Her attitude will very likely change around this time because she will have these other guys on her mind. Particularly afterwards, when she may have been in their company. However, the moment you mention her interest in another guy, she knows you are insecure and think that you aren't deserving of her.

As far as your course of action goes, you can do two things, preferably both:

1) Give her the best seeing-to you can manage shortly before she goes away, ideally the night before. Like, something she won't forget for the whole weekend. If you do it right, she won't have any inclination towards anyone else while you're apart.

2) Arrange similar excursions for yourself, where it's obvious you'll be in the company of other women. Even a lad's night would probably do the trick. Anything she can do, you can do as well, right? Totally innocent, like :up:


Lastly, two things to keep in mind to maintain your sanity:

a) As El Payaso said, have some hard evidence prior to taking drastic action. That means her behaviour toward you, not going through her phone and misinterpreting what may well be highly innocuous messages.

b) She's with you, and apparently contentedly so. If she wanted to be with someone else, she would be. If she wants to be in future, she will, or it'll be pretty obvious from her actions. As this situation has arisen before, I would wait and see what happens when she's back before jumping to any hasty conclusions.

DN. If you think (from her actions) she's f*cked someone else, strap up. And then, an only then, start planning your exit strategy.
 
I

Ice_Cold

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TheMonkeyKing said:
Personally, I'm not really one for going through people's personal communication (any more). I have done it in the past an it winds me up something chronic; call me naive, but I find the ignorance quite blissful. There will always be some message from some guy or other, which you interpret as suspect. That's just the way women operate. Don't think I've had a relationship yet where the woman isn't in some form of contact with another guy, innocently or not.

Checking her phone and sh!t will damage you one way or another and if you find something worth confronting her about, which from you own perception you invariably will, she will see it as underhand and ultimately pretty f*cking weak.

You main concern is how she behaves with you, particularly around the time of her going away. Her attitude will very likely change around this time because she will have these other guys on her mind. Particularly afterwards, when she may have been in their company. However, the moment you mention her interest in another guy, she knows you are insecure and think that you aren't deserving of her.

As far as your course of action goes, you can do two things, preferably both:

1) Give her the best seeing-to you can manage shortly before she goes away, ideally the night before. Like, something she won't forget for the whole weekend. If you do it right, she won't have any inclination towards anyone else while you're apart.

2) Arrange similar excursions for yourself, where it's obvious you'll be in the company of other women. Even a lad's night would probably do the trick. Anything she can do, you can do as well, right? Totally innocent, like :up:


Lastly, two things to keep in mind to maintain your sanity:

a) As El Payaso said, have some hard evidence prior to taking drastic action. That means her behaviour toward you, not going through her phone and misinterpreting what may well be highly innocuous messages.

b) She's with you, and apparently contentedly so. If she wanted to be with someone else, she would be. If she wants to be in future, she will, or it'll be pretty obvious from her actions. As this situation has arisen before, I would wait and see what happens when she's back before jumping to any hasty conclusions.

DN. If you think (from her actions) she's f*cked someone else, strap up. And then, an only then, start planning your exit strategy.
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Absolutely wonderful! which is why I've come back to this forum.
 
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