I've met my girlfriend through online dating (OKCupid). Ask me anything.

Shivastorm_88 · May 28, 2015

The only information I shall offer: We have been in a serious relationship for a year now

Ask me anything.

trailerpark · May 28, 2015

Shivastorm_88 said:
The only information I shall offer: We have been in a serious relationship for a year now

Ask me anything.

Congrats dude. The odds are extremely rare not for getting a gf online but for finding one of any sort of quality. How long were you looking for? How many did you date?

Shivastorm_88 · May 28, 2015

trailerpark said:
Congrats dude. The odds are extremely rare not for getting a gf online but for finding one of any sort of quality. How long were you looking for? How many did you date?

Interesting, I was expecting to be flamed.

It took me about six months. I'd say I've been on fifty dates, slept with about twenty. I managed to find a high-quality woman, but it took a lot of time and weeding out. Fortunately, I got plenty off ass in the meantime :rockon:

trailerpark · May 28, 2015

Shivastorm_88 said:
Interesting, I was expecting to be flamed.

It took me about six months. I'd say I've been on fifty dates, slept with about twenty. I managed to find a high-quality woman, but it took a lot of time and weeding out. Fortunately, I got plenty off ass in the meantime :rockon:

What are your looks?

Physique?

Age?

It's definitely relative in OLD. (Meaning just saying witty lines isn't the end all be all. Nor is "game". It's how attractive the females think you are and how your personality and mouthpiece is. Most want a quick fix but seem to ignore their own lackings. As in their own looks level, physique, age, pictures used and being able to think on their feet and not use just a script.)

Now to get a girlfriend from OLD isn't impossible. Most any dude who looks good can get a gf there. But it's the quality aspect of said gf.

Congrats again. You might have found one who is truly a good woman. Extremely rare. How long was she online dating for?

Shivastorm_88 · May 28, 2015

trailerpark said:
What are your looks?

Physique?

Rock climber's typical body. Look it up (we both are climbers). I was on the verge of competing before I torn my ligaments on my ankle. I am now just getting back into it... She also has your typical rock climber's body.

Age?

27, she is 25, almost 26

It's definitely relative in OLD. (Meaning just saying witty lines isn't the end all be all. Nor is "game". It's how attractive the females think you are and how your personality and mouthpiece is. Most want a quick fix but seem to ignore their own lackings. As in their own looks level, physique, age, pictures used and being able to think on their feet and not use just a script.)

Now to get a girlfriend from OLD isn't impossible. Most any dude who looks good can get a gf there. But it's the quality aspect of said gf.

Congrats again. You might have found one who is truly a good woman. Extremely rare. How long was she online dating for?

She had been OLD for about three months, going on 2-3 dates a week. Although about 95% of these men she didn't see them a second time. In those three months, other than me, she only slept with two guys.

In bold.

trailerpark · May 28, 2015

Shivastorm_88 said:
In bold.

Good work. Looks like you had common interests, young age, physique. Nothing like the "game" nonsense.

Just knowing how to converse with females without having a chip on your shoulder works wonders.

I'd say the majority of those getting messages are:

Good looking, dress well, work out, photogenic, can talk about a variety of subjects, don't have a chip on their shoulder are of decent height, and around 25-35 tops, white or Hispanic. I don't think others fare that well.

After a certain age in order to succeed in OLD (about 35) you really have to work on your looks etc no matter who you are.

InnerHappiness · May 28, 2015

Good job, not all women on OK Cupid are slvts and entitled ****s.

I'm glad you found a great match!

captain55 · May 29, 2015

Okcupid has much higher quality women than POF in my experience. Still the odds that any guy is going to land an attractive female online who isn't ****ed up mentally is very low like the guys above me said. Just keep your eyes open

jurry · May 29, 2015

50 dates in 6 months wow thats some productivity man, where do you live if you dont mind me asking?

There are hardly 50 dateable girls on okc in a 6 month span near me, nevermind getting them all out to meet me. I live in a small city (200k people).

Shivastorm_88 · May 29, 2015

captain55 said:
Okcupid has much higher quality women than POF in my experience. Still the odds that any guy is going to land an attractive female online who isn't ****ed up mentally is very low like the guys above me said. Just keep your eyes open

I have for the first few months. Now, I know her enough to no longer feel the need to be constantly on my guard. If ever she does something fishy, it'll change. However, so far she is far more stable than your average person, male or female.

It also helps that one of my main criteria in a woman is that she comes from a stable family with non-divorced parents. Had an issue with an ex who's parents were divorced and she didn't have a good relation with her dad. Needless to say, she had daddy issues.

I myself come from a divorced family, my parents split up when I was four. It has shaped my personality negatively all the way to my end teens, until I became aware of it and worked to change it. However, not everyone has the luxury of finding out they are damaged from a divorce (I believe it will damage anyone, to varying degrees). That's why I refuse to take a chance.

jurry said:
50 dates in 6 months wow thats some productivity man, where do you live if you dont mind me asking?

There are hardly 50 dateable girls on okc in a 6 month span near me, nevermind getting them all out to meet me. I live in a small city (200k people).

Montreal. There are about 1.6 million people, and the greater Montreal area is about 2.5. I'm also lucky because I am perfectly bilingual, so I get broader pool of women, including those who go study at McGill from everywhere in Canada, the States, and certain Asian countries.

Igetit! · May 29, 2015

Only thing I'd like to know is what you said to her when you messaged her for the first time.

skinnyguy · May 29, 2015

What race are you

Shivastorm_88 · May 29, 2015

Igetit! said:
Only thing I'd like to know is what you said to her when you messaged her for the first time.

I usually sent a generic message. In her case, she legitimately seemed interesting from her pictures (kayaking pictures) so I commented on that. She's very active and adventurous (not as much as I am, but still), so she immediately was interested in me based on my pictures (pictures of me out there doing stuff, such as hiking, rock climbing, para gliding, scuba diving). We exchanged very few messages (4-5 each) then we set up a date

skinnyguy said:
What race are you

Caucasian. She's Asian (Japanese)

Shivastorm_88 · May 29, 2015

Espi said:
Not flaming you. At 27 spin plates. In my opinion You're stunting your sexual growth limiting yourself to one woman.

Been there, done that, ain't for me.

To each his own.

It's funny you quote Anti-Dump, I'd say him and Pook have been my two greatest influences here.

Pook completely changed my outlook on life, and made me crave to constantly better myself. I am who I am today because of what he wrote.
Anti-Dump helped me, through his machine, to set up strict rules and guidelines for dating and finding a proper woman.

As for the wounded bird analogy, this doesn't apply to me. We had a discussion on power dynamics about two months ago in all forms of relationships, including couples. She has acknowledged that I hold the upper hand in our own couple in terms of power dynamics, and she feels like I would have an easier time walking away than she would (given a set of reasons).

jurry · May 29, 2015

She acknowledges you have the upper hand but feels like you would have a harder time walking away than she would..

Sounds a bit contradictory no?

Shivastorm_88 · May 29, 2015

jurry said:
She acknowledges you have the upper hand but feels like you would have a harder time walking away than she would..

Sounds a bit contradictory no?

Oops, other way around, sorry. She feels I would have an easier time walking away

skinnyguy · May 29, 2015

Shivastorm_88 said:
I usually sent a generic message. In her case, she legitimately seemed interesting from her pictures (kayaking pictures) so I commented on that. She's very active and adventurous (not as much as I am, but still), so she immediately was interested in me based on my pictures (pictures of me out there doing stuff, such as hiking, rock climbing, para gliding, scuba diving). We exchanged very few messages (4-5 each) then we set up a date

Caucasian. She's Asian (Japanese)

Lol so you're white and you pulled an Asian girl. What an accomplishment.

White guys who can't get laid should just come to SF and have a fvckfest. The Asian girls out here will bang you no matter what you look like.

backbeat · May 29, 2015

good story man. glad sumone met sumone off the interenet that wasnt a fu@kin weirdo like most ppl r meetin nowadays. sum of those chicks dont no how to be in a relationship n it looks like u got a gem. cool sh@t dude. glad to hear it workin for ya.

PairPlusRoyalFlush said:
SF women are gross, even the asians out there are below what they are out east.

gross? wtf? wut u talkin bout? plenty of good lookin pvssy to f@ck up in sf and no cal. damn fine @ass b@tches up there man n they fun to chill with.

skinnyguy · May 29, 2015

PairPlusRoyalFlush said:
SF women are gross, even the asians out there are below what they are out east.

Some of them are dam hot. All I know is that Asian and Indian women are God's gift to AFC white men.

My own sister is marrying an AFC white guy who had never had a gf prior to meeting her.

But I digress.one guy getting a gf out of millions of dudes using OLD every day is not good odds. Lol.

thatfeel · May 29, 2015

What is the point of this thread

I've met my girlfriend through online dating (OKCupid). Ask me anything.

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