Remaining Aloof while not being Cold

Lozboss · May 28, 2015

Hey Guys,

I'm trying to remain aloof and let the women do some of the chasing, as the DJ bible suggests.

Any tips on how to act so I'm aloof but not cold? I struggle to make the differentiation in action and how I portray myself.

It's a fine line and I struggle to stay the right side of it.

thanks for any advice

Lostsoul85 · May 28, 2015

You can't act aloof because then you become attached to the idea of being unattached hence you are attached.

You have to really be ok with whatever the outcome is.

Really no other way

TheMonkeyKing · May 28, 2015

Always a challenge.

My personal philosophy is do and say just enough to make people wonder about you when you are silent or absent.

With verbals, they are doing 70-80% of the talking, most of the time. You won't really divulge much emotional/personal content (if any at all) from yourself at least until you are exclusive. You will however engage her emotions regularly, but not provide unsolicited advice. Be warm in person and don't bad mouth people. A man deals with his own problems an does not share them with his woman.

All face to face contact should be 90% fun, 10% her opening up emotionally. Questions. Lots and lots of questions. And lots of deflection of her questioning of you - mystery.

With electronic communication, a consistently warm manner, but inconsistent volume, regularity and frequency. There are never more than 3 messages/emails sent without you arranging a face to face (and penis to vagina) contact. If she complains about your delayed responses - 'Sorry babe, work has been major hectic today. Let's meet for a drink tomorrow night'. Boom.

The tragedy of life is that cannot spend 24/7 with someone without getting under each other's skin; you always have to leave her (temporarily) before you both want. Your purpose has to be your priority, not a woman.

Whether talking on the phone or on a date, you always have to be the one to leave her wanting more, not vice versa. Phone calls kept to a minimum

Corey Wayne explains Indifference. I don't mean to bang on about this guy, but his work has really helped me shift in to another gear in the last couple of months: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mGmQmPJJe_s

Obsidian · May 28, 2015

If you haven't read Anti-Dump's Machine, he outlines the basics of it. The only part that is not aloof includes the approach itself and the close. Other than that, you keep texting and phone talking to a minimum. If possible, you let the woman talk a lot on the date (the only real problem comes if you date a quiet girl). You make her wonder about you. You slow down the pace of things. You don't get too physical too fast and let sex cloud your thinking. You only meet with her with limited frequency early on.

And of course, one easy way to stay aloof (especially early on) is if you have two or more girls that you are seeing.

zekko · May 28, 2015

TheMonkeyKing said:
Corey Wayne explains Indifference. I don't mean to bang on about this guy, but his work has really helped me shift in to another gear in the last couple of months: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mGmQmPJJe_s

I've been watching some of his videos also. His advice is as good as anyone else's, but damn that dude has a pumpkin for a head.

stevo · May 28, 2015

Care less.

If she text you or she doesnt.

If you see her again or you dont.

The mindset is just be cool and be alright with whatever outcome.

Let the flowers fall where they may.

However don't do anything dumb to jeopardize your chance like crying out your feelings to her or clinging on to her.

When she does reach out if she does reach out, schedule a definite date and dont over text/talk before the date. On the date, always escalate. Ask her qxtns, reveal little about yourself.

Rinse.

Repeat.

Instinct1978 · May 28, 2015

TheMonkeyKing said:
Always a challenge.

My personal philosophy is do and say just enough to make people wonder about you when you are silent or absent.

With verbals, they are doing 70-80% of the talking, most of the time. You won't really divulge much emotional/personal content (if any at all) from yourself at least until you are exclusive. You will however engage her emotions regularly, but not provide unsolicited advice. Be warm in person and don't bad mouth people. A man deals with his own problems an does not share them with his woman.

All face to face contact should be 90% fun, 10% her opening up emotionally. Questions. Lots and lots of questions. And lots of deflection of her questioning of you - mystery.

With electronic communication, a consistently warm manner, but inconsistent volume, regularity and frequency. There are never more than 3 messages/emails sent without you arranging a face to face (and penis to vagina) contact. If she complains about your delayed responses - 'Sorry babe, work has been major hectic today. Let's meet for a drink tomorrow night'. Boom.

The tragedy of life is that cannot spend 24/7 with someone without getting under each other's skin; you always have to leave her (temporarily) before you both want. Your purpose has to be your priority, not a woman.

Whether talking on the phone or on a date, you always have to be the one to leave her wanting more, not vice versa. Phone calls kept to a minimum

Corey Wayne explains Indifference. I don't mean to bang on about this guy, but his work has really helped me shift in to another gear in the last couple of months: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mGmQmPJJe_s

You're becoming an all-star.

I will just add that a lot of the people on this board make so many references to the Hall of Famers. Not that their material isn't valid, with lots of lessons and theories; it is out of date. A woman that had 100s of options then, now have 1000s thanks to online dating and social media. Which makes being too aloof a dangerous game if its not natural.

Being / seeming aloof in 2001 was simple. Today, not so much. They know I have my phone and vice versa. What I try to do (which is hard as a single parent) is completely disconnect intentionally. Just one example: I still have and use my ipod, allowing me to not take my phone to the gym.

Good advise here, so I really cant add more. Nice work gentlemen!

El Payaso · May 28, 2015

You can't "act" aloof. You have to BE aloof.

If you "act" aloof and she tests your mettle, you will flinch and expose yourself for the weak fraud that you are.

However, if you are truly aloof, no amount of testing will break you down. You will either laugh her off or show no difference to her change in behavior.

BE aloof. Don't act.

Yewki · May 28, 2015

Lostsoul85 said:
You can't act aloof because then you become attached to the idea of being unattached hence you are attached.

You have to really be ok with whatever the outcome is.

Really no other way

Well said actually. And here's the rub: when you really are independent of the outcome, the successful outcome is no longer as special. It loses meaning. Hence you're independent of the outcome. It's no longer a big deal.

Reaction of actual aloof person who bangs hot girl -> Cool. What's next?

Reaction of person pretending to be aloof who bangs hot girl -> OMG, YES! I did it! Time to pop a bottle of champagne and post on the internet about it! I gotta tell all my friends! Wait, do I text her now? What should I say? Blah blah blah.

Remaining Aloof while not being Cold

Lozboss

Master Don Juan

Lostsoul85

Don Juan

TheMonkeyKing

Master Don Juan

Obsidian

Master Don Juan

zekko

Master Don Juan

stevo

Master Don Juan

Instinct1978

Don Juan

El Payaso

Master Don Juan

Yewki

Master Don Juan