Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Online dating has gotten worse since I last did it. You've been warned

Robert28

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So, I haven't done online dating in awhile and decided to mess around with it since it's been several years since I last messed with it. I thought times might have changed some but my experience was a huge eye opener! The following are my experiences on match.com(I don't mess around with pof or okcupid).

-Used to be if you put up a few pics of you with good looking women, more women would be more apt to talk to you since the pics showed you weren't a creep since you were hanging around hot women. Not any longer, they won't talk to you if you have pics with hot girls in them because they automatically assume you're some sort of player. However, most women still have tons of random pics of them with random guys who they pass off as "friends", but we all know that's bs.

-Being direct in the first message doesn't work anymore. "Hey, I liked your profile and think we have a lot in common, let's get together one night this week...." or some sort of variation of that doesn't get a response anymore or the response you get is "I'm not going out with someone I don't know". This plan used to work like a charm but I guess so many guys are doing it now.

-The biggest thing you have to deal with is how many bad dates these women have been on and that's their sole reason for their apparent hesitation they have up to give you a chance. Makes you wonder why they chose to date the idiots and cant tell the difference between an idiot and a genuine decent guy. It's like real life, most girls choose to date bums, same thing online apparently.

-Don't wait to email a girl back or else she's already done with you. Even if you're busy and work 70 hours a week and don't get on every second of every day to check your messages that's no excuse apparently. But, they can be busy and take forever to get back to you and that's ok.lol I've never understood how so many women online can be so busy as they claim, but they sure do find the time to be online a lot.

-I had a date set up with one girl on a Sunday but she kept texting me non-stop and out of the blue pretty much invited herself over to my house Thursday. Brought her kid with her!!! Talk about awkward. Needless to say we didn't go on a date Sunday.lol The weird thing is apparently she lost interest for some reason, but it wasn't enough to leave my house. She hung out for over 4 hours. Why would you hangout with someone for 4 hours if you weren't interested? I'm glad we didn't go on the scheduled date though because the whole bringing your kid over to someone's house the first time just killed it for me anyways.

-Girls respond to confrontational messages. If you send her a message that's all nice and sweet she won't respond, but call her a name and then she's quick to respond.lol Just something I was trying out. Doesn't work but it is fun to get them all pissed off.

-Girls love to send you winks and when you email them they won't respond. Not sure what that's all about but whatever.

-There are tons of women STILL on match that I remember being on there 2 years ago!

-You can't ask random questions because for some reason they will make assumptions about you. I told one girl she looked hot in her heels. She accused me of having a foot fetish.lol The weird thing is most women on there are quick to want to talk about when do you want to have kids and when do you want to get married. Apparently they consider that normal and good conversation????

-You'll go a couple of weeks without getting a response from even average girls and then all of a sudden you'll have 15 messages from all kinds of girls. It's very weird. I thought it was fake profiles at first but it's not because I got their numbers.

-Girls are bad about having super high expectations on there and then when the date comes apparently they are let down or something. My pics are very recent(taken within the past month) so I know I look the same but for some reason when we go on the date(after they've contantly texted me and blown up my phone) it's like theyre all shy and standoffish.

-Oh, I went on a date with a beautiful girl! Or so I thought. Her pics indicated so anyways. I go on the date and the girl is crosseyed! None of her pics indicated this, I even looked at her facebook pics and didn't see anything like this at all! How the hell do you hide being crosseyed in pics so well??

-Girls on match LOVE to talk about their ex's or who they've been banging or whatever when you go on the date. I try to change the subject but they somehow bring it back to the ex and at the end they'll give you a speech about how you don't measure up to what theyre looking for.lol

-You can't get down on yourself with online dating, just remember you are being judged by some real fruitcakes.
 

Instinct1978

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You basically summed it up.

I am a single father with full custody, outstanding career, nice smile (veneers), and stay fit. What I am able to pull in life is far better than anything online. I am usually bombarded with moms looking for insta-dad.

It is what it is, I participate. But, keep my expectations low. I send the same first message, which I believe I took from this board (Hey there! How is this silly site treating you? Talk soon, SB." And, don't waste any time reading profiles unless they respond.

I have found that the faster you get them off the site, the better. You agree?
 

Between_The_Lines

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Instinct1978 said:
I have found that the faster you get them off the site, the better. You agree?
Definitely. My experience too. It's intravenous validation. Gotta pull the plug and meet up asap.
 

Instinct1978

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Robert28 said:
-Don't wait to email a girl back or else she's already done with you. Even if you're busy and work 70 hours a week and don't get on every second of every day to check your messages that's no excuse apparently. But, they can be busy and take forever to get back to you and that's ok.lol I've never understood how so many women online can be so busy as they claim, but they sure do find the time to be online a lot.
Had this happen with a woman that was / seemingly already planning to carry my children! I didn't "check in" before I had an unexpected OSHA audit that lasted 8 hours, and she never replied again. LMBO
 

BrainDamage92

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Well its all about your looks. Work on that. A woman cant turn a date down with a pretty boy.
 

racerhawk

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I've been doing online dating for several years and that sounds about like it's always been. What I noticed as time went by and my age just passing 30 was there was a big drop off in the amount of younger girls displayed and girls who didn't have kids and would spontaneously meet up.
 

GS750

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Oh you're right about the winks crap. I used to get them all the time from cute girls. Then you email them...nothing. I'm convinced these girls just click around and wink/like random dudes (because they like his pics) without even reading the profiles. Then they just sit back and wait for the emails to roll in from the guys. It seems like a pretty easy way to get your inbox filled without any effort at all.
 

Instinct1978

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GS750 said:
Oh you're right about the winks crap. I used to get them all the time from cute girls. Then you email them...nothing. I'm convinced these girls just click around and wink/like random dudes (because they like his pics) without even reading the profiles. Then they just sit back and wait for the emails to roll in from the guys. It seems like a pretty easy way to get your inbox filled without any effort at all.
If they don't respond to my message: I assume they could not afford a membership. Positive mindset!
 

nismo-4

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GS750 said:
Oh you're right about the winks crap. I used to get them all the time from cute girls. Then you email them...nothing. I'm convinced these girls just click around and wink/like random dudes (because they like his pics) without even reading the profiles. Then they just sit back and wait for the emails to roll in from the guys. It seems like a pretty easy way to get your inbox filled without any effort at all.
The winks, meet me, etc. is just a way of online attention wh0ring. If they respond, go for it. If not, they just wanted attention.

I delete women who get all shy and standoffish, as I view that as being uninterested.

Though the quicker you get off the net, the better!
 

GS750

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I've taken a break from match.com. I don't know if I'll renew my membership any time soon. Maybe once some new talent signs up in 6 months or so.
 

old married dude

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Yes, it does suck for a multitude of reasons, the biggest reasons are that there are so many "tire kickers" or "just curious" types on there who are not serious about meeting.

They also get showered with too much attention due to the 20:1 average male/female ratio. Guys will blow up the inboxes of 3's and 4's which makes them start to think they're 7's and 8's all of a sudden.

They have too many requirements & dis-qualifiers...usually these are the profiles you see on there for years because let's face it, it's not exactly easy to find a guy who's 6'6" or taller with underwear model looks that has a net worth of $100 million or better.
 

G_Govan

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From what I've observed, most women who advertise online are looking for "providers" that meet a certain looks threshold.

I have a cousin who was actually pretty attractive and I'm sure as she gained weight and reached her late 20s she decided to look online for men who had more to offer then sex.

Damn shame to because now she's huge... That's what online dating gets most men. Women on the decline.
 

bigneil

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My last two online dates were in 2006 and 2011 - it was the SAME girl! And I lived in 2 cities 100 miles apart! And she never got over the fact I tore her blouse by accident on the first date.
 

Yewki

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Yeah the winking but no response business got me rustled back when I first tried OLD. I don't bother with OLD now but I remember the very first time it happened. The girl was like a 6/10... wasn't really interested but figured why not and messaged her back a nice greeting. No response. Nothing. Couldn't believe it. I mean how messed up is that, to wink at someone then just completely ignore them when they contact you.

Anyways I was legit pissed and sent her another message like a week later calling her out. She immediately responded with some BS about moving soon, so didn't see a reason to respond. She kept showing up in e-mails from match.com for several months after that. Right.

The inflated sense of entitlement in OLD is ridiculous. It's actually easier to get a girl interested in real life who is 0-1 pt above you, than it is online with a girl 2 pts below you. The difference is, in real life you need the balls to confront. Yeah, I'll take real life.

I still get e-mails from match with their daily "matches", even though I canceled a long time ago... I usually skim through the emails for fun. Rarely do I actually see someone in those emails who I would want to bang... and yet you know the ones that are even remotely attractive are getting dozens or even hundreds of messages a day. The system is basically a retarded rat race for guys.
 

Obsidian

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Robert28 said:
-Don't wait to email a girl back or else she's already done with you.
What makes you say this? My strategy so far has been to make 'em wait a little bit. One, it's easier to think up a good response. Two, it makes them think you don't care as much. And three, it makes the "courting" phase seem a little more drawn out so that you come across as less of a stranger. At least those are the theories I've been operating under. I haven't really tested doing it differently.
 

InnerHappiness

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I'm having success online dating, averaging about 6 first dates a month. That's aside from those I meet at social gatherings, networking and cold approaching. OLD is a good way to gather options, although most veterans will call it a 'buffer.' I'd say once you have already developed your game, it's no longer a crutch, but an incredible supplement.

Paging NaughtyNinja and Bukowski_merit

Edit: Wrong member shoutouts.
 

Robert28

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Obsidian said:
What makes you say this? My strategy so far has been to make 'em wait a little bit. One, it's easier to think up a good response. Two, it makes them think you don't care as much. And three, it makes the "courting" phase seem a little more drawn out so that you come across as less of a stranger. At least those are the theories I've been operating under. I haven't really tested doing it differently.
In my recent experience you can get away with waiting a day (24 hours), two AT MOST, and 3 is pushing it. You have to understand that the women on these sites have heard everything and seen everything. Everything to them is a trick and some douche before you tried to be suave and screwed it all up, so not only do you have to overcome the mess he made(and hundreds before him) you also have to fight the uphill battle of making her believe you are different. Trust me, these b!tches are jaded beyond belief.
 

trailerpark

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Robert28 said:
In my recent experience you can get away with waiting a day (24 hours), two AT MOST, and 3 is pushing it. You have to understand that the women on these sites have heard everything and seen everything. Everything to them is a trick and some douche before you tried to be suave and screwed it all up, so not only do you have to overcome the mess he made(and hundreds before him) you also have to fight the uphill battle of making her believe you are different. Trust me, these b!tches are jaded beyond belief.

Roll in the mud with pigs and youre going to get dirty.
 

skinnyguy

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Is it really a surprise she has been on many bad dates?

Remember that guys on OLD are low quality too. The girl is just going to pick the hottest guy she can find, and guess what, he's probably a player or a loser!!!!

Women go for the opposite of what they say they want. She wants a clean cut guy with a job? She will go out with the deadbeat guy with tattoos all over his body because he's "sexy".

As a man you should ask yourself why you are on OLD. If it's because you can't get puss in real life, you need to do some introspection.
 

InnerHappiness

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Robert28 said:
In my recent experience you can get away with waiting a day (24 hours), two AT MOST, and 3 is pushing it. You have to understand that the women on these sites have heard everything and seen everything. Everything to them is a trick and some douche before you tried to be suave and screwed it all up, so not only do you have to overcome the mess he made(and hundreds before him) you also have to fight the uphill battle of making her believe you are different. Trust me, these b!tches are jaded beyond belief.
WAIT, aren't you the dude that thinks looks are everything???

Oh Yeah! ROBERT fvcking 28!!!!!

I think we talked about online dating in the past and apparently you aren't attractive. Receding hairline...okay. Weren't you the one to say that online dating is all about looks back in 2012?

Yeah that was YOU, Robert28....You were going on and on about looks. How looks were 99%. I remember YOU, you haven't changed if you are still online dating.

Do you realize that online dating is 99% looks?
 
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